#wibta #sister #refund #petsitting #familydrama
Hey there! Can you believe what my sister did? 🙀 Let me fill you in on the details and then I want to hear your thoughts on whether or not I would be in the wrong for doing something in return.
Here’s the scoop:
House sitting for my sis: Over the holiday break, my sister went overseas and asked me to house sit her cats. 🐱 She even offered to pay me $200 for the trouble. I work in retail, so it was a busy time for me, but I agreed to help her out and earn some extra cash.
Going above and beyond: Every day after work, I made sure the cats were well taken care of. I checked their water, filled up their food, cleaned their litter trays, and spent quality time playing with them. I even sent her regular updates and photos to show her that her fur babies were in good hands.
Extra favor: On top of watching the cats, she asked me to get a hard-to-find product from my workplace. I went out of my way to track it down and managed to get it for her at a discounted price because I’m an employee.
The big letdown: When my sister returned from her trip, she laid into me about the cats, claiming they didn’t have wet food (which she never specified as a requirement) and that she was disappointed in my care for them. On top of that, she told our dad that she didn’t want to pay me the $200 anymore.
Now, here’s where the real dilemma comes in. Given the way my sister has treated me, do you think it would be wrong for me to return the product I got for her, keep the $200 for my hard work, and give her the leftover money back?
Before you make your judgment, let’s weigh the pros and cons of each option.
Pros of returning the product and keeping the money:
1. It’s a fair way to compensate for the time and effort put into watching the cats.
2. It sends a message to my sister about the importance of recognizing and valuing others’ contributions.
3. It prevents me from feeling taken advantage of in the future.
Cons of keeping the money and withholding the product:
1. It may create further tension and conflict within our family.
2. It could lead to a breakdown in trust and communication with my sister.
3. It might result in a strained relationship that affects other family members.
So, what’s your take on the situation? Do you think I would be in the wrong for taking this course of action? I’d love to hear your thoughts and any similar experiences you’ve had in dealing with family dynamics and financial fairness. Let’s talk it out!
YWNBTA. If she wants it, she can pay for it. There’s no reason why you should be out of pocket.
NTA You took care of the cats. If sister wanted you to give them wet food, she could have been clear about it.
Return the hard to get item. Your sister doesn’t deserve it-let her track another one down-and enjoy paying full price for it, too! Anything over the $200-*that she owed you!*… refund it, and be done with it.
And never volunteer to watch her pets again. The only proper response from her upon return was “Thank you”, and “Here is the money we agreed upon”.
I would say NTA.
Clealry if she had any problems with the way you were catsitting she could have told you earlier, especially when she saw photos to know about it in real time. It does sound like she’s making up excuses to get out of paying you.
Your way of exacting the money that you are owed sounds okay but it might escalate your conflict with her. Maybe just tell her that whatever her problem with your catsitting, she still owes you $200 and of she doesn’t pay up then you plan to exact it by returning the product. This way she has a chance to change the consequences of her actions if she is unhappy with the arrangement.
Info, has she already paid for this product? Your plan is to return it, deduct 200 and return the balance?
YWNBTA. She can’t reneg on payment because she didn’t give you clear instructions. The cats are fine, screw her.
NTA, she is trying to guilt-trip you, so she doesn’t have to pay.
Talk to her first and return the product if she doesn’t pay you.
NTA. She went looking for any excuse to not pay you because she just didn’t want to pay you.
Returning her item is the wrong strategy, though. You’re better off treating her as a deadbeat. You retain the moral high ground.
Any time she wants something from you, “You still owe me $200.” Any time she wants you to do something for her and is willing to pay, “You still owe me $200, and as you’re a deadbeat, I’d need that back plus payment in advance, because you can’t be trusted.”
The cats were alive, healthy and unharmed when she got back. She owes you $200. I’d absolutely put a “lien” on the item and let her know that it will get returned in X days if she doesn’t pay you the $200. NTA
NTa. She is just selfish, looking for excuses not to pay you what you are owed.
NTA
Tell her if you don’t receive the agreed upon payment by X date, you’ll return her item and refund her the difference. If she says you can’t go back on your word about the product, say the same about the cats.
And don’t agree to either look after her cats or share your staff discount again.
A lot of people resell items. So now that the item
Is in your possession you can tell her the price is x for the item (price being whatever it cost plus $200)
I’m assuming you followed the instructions given for cat care — except for the, I guess, psychically transmitted info about wet food. If that’s the case. NTA. I have a STRONG feeling that your sister never intended to pay you for your time, and that she’s seeking an excuse to withhold funds (“You didn’t feed them the wet food I never told you about.”
Nta, but I’d tell her up front that she’ll get her item when 200 is in your hand. In cash, no checks. Otherwise you will return her item and give her the balance over 200.
NTA
Heck no. I would absolutely return it, even if she did pay me the $200. What a jerk!
NTA.
Your sister defrauded you, it’s just lucky you have this opportunity to recoup your loss.
YWNBTA. She just invented a reason to not pay you. I like your solution.
NTA. Let’s be honest. She was never going to pay you and you were going to foot the bill for whatever crap she was too lazy to get herself. Just call a spade a spade here.
I wouldn’t watch her cats anymore and I wouldn’t be doing any favors for her. Granted, the plan you have is a decent one but be prepared for the inevitable backlash. She’s gonna raise hell because she never planned on being out $200. So just know going in, it’s gonna be chaos and probably change your relationship.
NTA
i would give her an opportunity to pay you before your return the item. “If i am not paid by jan 12 at noon I will be returning the item, and recouping my 200$”
NTA
NTA. You could always give her a choice. (1) She can pay you normally, as promised. (2) She can pay you via liquidation of the product and find one at full price on her own. Or (3) she can pay you after losing her case in small claims court, plus court costs. Up to her.
Yes return the product to get your money. NTA.
NTA
NTA
Whether she pays up, or you recover your payment with the return, never do anything for her for money without payment upfront again.
NTA.
If sister didn’t provide instructions how to take care of cats, that’s her fault.
Sounds like sister is trying to change the terms of the agreement to avoid paying OP. Or will be using the “*wE aRe fAmiLy sO I dOn’t hAvE tO pAy yoU*” excuse.
NTA.
Definitely NTA and I would never help her again
“How dare you not follow instructions I never gave you!”
Yeah, NTA.
NTA
You took care of them. If she never mentioned the wet food that’s on her am d clearly cats don’t die from not having wet food for a while. Seems to me she is looking for an excuse not to pay. Unlikely you would ecer fet the money otherwise than sending the item back.
First don’t do any more favors for her.
Let her know that due to lack of payment you are going to return item and return the Money, she will lose the discount and the item. Give her a time limit, see if she pays you. Why should you do that favor when she cheated you
NTA. Return the product and let her find it on her own. Return all the money and never help her again without getting paid first. $200 isn’t worth arguing with her about. Lesson learned.
call me petty, but NTA
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*c o n s e q u e n c e s*
NTA- but before returning the item I would tell her that she could either pay me, or I would return the item and send her the remaining balance. Her choice
Your sister sucks ass. Do whatever you want-NTA
INFO: You say “I also spoke to my dad who said that she had told him that she didn’t want to pay me the $200 anymore”
Have you actually talked to your sister about this, and have you made yourself clear, that you went over every day like she asked, looked after them, etc, and that should still get paid the agreed amount. Perhaps also let her know you went out of your way and phoned around different stores to get that product she wanted.
If not, then make sure you do that first. Try to talk it out first, before resorting to returning the product, as that will only escalate tensions, which you want to avoid if a conversation will sort it out easier.
Nope. Depending what it is, I would keep it and make sure she knows
You did her TWO solids by looking after her cats and then getting her a gift. Her crap instructions aren’t your fault.
I don’t know how many days she was out of town, but in my area, cat sheltering services cost $30/day minimum, so I’m assuming you already saved her money.
NTA, tell your tightwad sister to take a hike.
Every single person I’ve house/petsitted for has both verbally and in writing conveyed any special dietary policies for their pets. Even if she hadn’t, a “hey can you make sure they’re getting a 50/50 (or whatever) mix of wet and dry food” text would alleviate any concerns. She was never going to pay you and was going to use any excuse possible to avoid it. NTA.
INFO: because I’m curious – what’s the price difference between the item at regular price and the item at discounted price? If heading towards $200, that’s another lever to get her to pay you what she owes, because if you return the item and give her back what she paid you minus $200 she’s going to be out of pocket more than if she just kept to the agreement. If it was a big thing with more than $200 staff discount, she’d be out of pocket even if you gave back all the money.
By the way, it’s possible you’ve breached your employer’s terms by getting discount on an item for someone other than yourself. So if you return it, whatever you do with the money she gave to pay for it, you can shove that little nugget of information under her nose.
And never look after her pets OR put yourself out for getting her stuff again *whatever* she does this time.
Info: would that not be theft? Imagine going to jail for petty theft instead of just taking her to small claims court.
Confront her (respectfully) directly about hearing she isn’t going to pay, and ask directly for payment
If that fails, tell her your plan about returning the item, getting your pay that way, and giving her the remaining balance
If that doesn’t work, execute the plan