#MeaningfulConversations #EffectiveCommunication #FindingCommonGround
Have you ever found yourself struggling to have meaningful conversations with someone? Perhaps you feel like you just can’t connect with certain people, and it leaves you feeling at a loss for words. If so, I have a tip that might help you filter out those who are not aligned with your interests and connect with people more easily, even on topics you are most enthusiastic about.
🌟 The Enthusiasm Filter: Connecting with Like-Minded Individuals 🌟
The concept is simple yet incredibly effective, and I learned it from the streamer Vaush. He calls it “Autistic Rizz,” while I refer to it as the “enthusiasm filter.” Using this tactic, you can spark up a conversation, share your passion, and gauge the interest of the other person, creating an opportunity for a meaningful conversation or gracefully exiting the interaction.
Here’s a step-by-step breakdown of how to use the enthusiasm filter:
1. **Identify a Topic You’re Enthusiastic About**
– Think about your interests, hobbies, or topics you could talk about endlessly.
– Examples: Astronomy, vintage muscle cars, sustainable living, history of art, etc.
2. **Create a 15-20 Second Pitch**
– Share a brief spiel about why you love your chosen topic.
– Rehearse it, so you’re prepared to spark conversation at any time.
3. **Engaging the Enthusiasm Filter**
– Approach someone and ask if they’re interested in your topic of choice.
– Depending on their response, navigate the conversation accordingly.
4. **Case 1: They’re Not Interested**
– Share your enthusiastic spiel about the topic.
– Allow some breathing room and listen to their response.
– If they show polite neutrality, gracefully exit the conversation or uncover their passion as well.
5. **Case 2: Finding Common Ground**
– If they express interest, engage in a more in-depth conversation about your shared enthusiasm.
– Ask them questions and show genuine curiosity about their passion.
6. **Graceful Exit Strategy**
– If the conversation reaches a natural conclusion, wrap it up with a pleasant closing statement.
– If needed, bow out gracefully by expressing that you’ve enjoyed the chat but need to attend to something else.
By implementing the enthusiasm filter, you can easily gauge the compatibility of your conversation partners, creating engaging interactions and potentially lasting connections. Moreover, you can confidently engage in discussions about topics you’re passionate about without worrying about losing the interest of your audience.
Consider the following example of the enthusiasm filter in action:
Me: “Question for you: are you interested in Astronomy?”
Them: “No, not really.”
Me: “Ah, that’s okay. Though let me tell you, NASA is worth every penny. Every time we hear news about an asteroid, thousands of people…”
In conclusion, by embracing topics you’re genuinely enthusiastic about, you have the power to transform seemingly mundane interactions into engaging discussions and connections. As you continue to refine and exercise your enthusiasm filter, you’ll find it easier to have meaningful conversations and share your passions with like-minded individuals, leading to more fulfilling social interactions and relationships.
So, find out how many topics you can confidently do this with, and enrich your conversations by filtering out those who don’t share your excitement while confidently engaging in discussions about your passions. Happy chatting!
“Hey, I love boofing cocaine, who can relate?” Works everytime
When I was an awkward 16 year old working my first summer job, I was so shy and not comfortable starting conversations with people, so finally after a month I decided to wear my Weezer hoodie (LOL) to work in the hopes that someone would comment on it.
And someone did! And we started talking about music and more stuff, then she started inviting me to hang with other coworkers and telling them I was cool.
This is fantastic! I like how you even scripted it out.
Sounds like a great way to create a nice echo chamber.
I keep seeing these small-talk tips and I keep imagine sociopath’s taking notes.
What if the thing you are passionate about is small talk. “Question for you – do you like small talk? I do bc it fills time up and words and stuff. Do you like words?”
I have found no one.
Works flawlessly.
Youre fucking stupid
This is thoughtful, but I feel you are asking a lot regarding introverts and/or shy people using a 7 step approach.
When I’m nervous in a social setting, I find that just being near and actively listening to the people talking, is a great start. Head nodding and smiles go along way. Almost every time I use this approach, people start talking to me and asking me questions. At that point, if I’m uncomfortable with responses, I quickly start asking questions about the other person. Who doesn’t like talking about themselves. Rinse and repeat.
If someone says they’re not interested in a topic, it’s better to just drop it immediately than go into a ramble while they stand there uncomfortably. Imagine someone did this to you about a topic you absolutely LOATHE.
It also doesn’t help because you’ve started the topic with a closed question, which only has a yes / no answer.
If you did this to me, I’d be thinking “why the fuck is this person going on about this when I just said I wasn’t interested?? WHY DID THEY EVEN ASK, IF THEY WERE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY??”
And it’s made even weirder if after their ramble they just go:
“Anyway, BYE”
I’d watch you leave thinking, “what the fuck just happened?!”
There are better ways to talk to people:
“Are you interested in astronomy?”
“No, not really”
“Ah, that’s okay. It’s something I’m really passionate about. Hey, what are you passionate about?”
Would be a more positive interaction, because even though it starts with a closed question, it leads to an open ended one. And it might lead to an opportunity where you can find a link between your passion and theirs, where you can surprise them with something new.
If it’s not something you’re interested in, then use your exit strategy.
There’s very little to gain with your approach. I cannot stress how weird, inconsiderate and uncomfortable this would come across to people.
This might explain why the cashier at the grocery store wouldn’t stop talking to me about Rice Krispies.
“Question for you: Are you interested in pantomime?”
“No, not really.”
“…” *gesticulates deliberately*
“…”