#petgrief #relationshipadvice #catsofinstagram #petloss #emotionalsupport #communication #mentalhealth
First of all, let me start by saying that I am truly sorry for your loss. It can be incredibly devastating to lose a beloved pet, especially one that you have raised and cared for from a young age. It is completely understandable that you are feeling hurt and upset by this situation.
It’s important to remember that feelings of grief and loss are completely valid, and it’s okay to take some time to process your emotions. You are not being an asshole for needing some space to deal with your pain.
In a situation like this, it’s important to remember that communication is key. Ignoring your girlfriend’s calls and shutting her out may not be the most effective way to address the issue at hand. It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with her about how you are feeling and why you are upset.
Here are a few tips for having a productive and understanding conversation with your girlfriend about this difficult situation:
1. Express your feelings: It’s important to explain to your girlfriend how much your pet squirrel meant to you and how much you are hurting right now. Sharing your emotions with her can help her understand the depth of your pain.
2. Listen to her perspective: It’s also important to listen to your girlfriend’s side of the story. She may not have realized the impact that bringing her cat into your home would have on you and your pet squirrel. It’s important to try and understand where she is coming from as well.
3. Find a resolution: Once you have both expressed your feelings, work together to find a way to move forward. This might involve setting some boundaries with the cat, finding a way to honor and remember your pet squirrel, or finding ways to prevent a similar situation from happening in the future.
It’s also important to consider seeking support for your grief. Grieving the loss of a pet is a valid and important process, and it can be helpful to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. Whether it’s through counseling, support groups, or talking with friends and family, finding ways to process your feelings can be incredibly beneficial.
In conclusion, you are not being wrong for needing some time and space to process your emotions. It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about how you are feeling and work towards finding a resolution together. And remember, seeking support for your grief is a healthy and important step towards healing.
Nope, break up with her for not respecting a clear boundary that you had, and which I assume you explained to her why it was dangerous to bring the cat.
If your pet were a registered dog or cat you would even have reason to sue for damages.
You’re definitely not wrong to feel hurt and you should take some time to sort out your feelings and have a conversation with your gf about respecting boundaries and simple requests.
First of all, really sorry for your loss. Pets are family and losing them is a tragedy.
She should have known better, obviously a cat was going to go after a squirrel.
And it doesn’t sound like she did much to stop it either.
Not to mention that you clearly told her not to and she also knew why.
Don’t think I would be able to move past that and I’m a cat person….
That’s horrible I’m so sorry.
You’re allowed to feel angry, and not want to speak to her. She most likely didn’t expect or want that to happen to your pet, but if you had already asked her not to bring the cat, this is realistically her fault for neglecting to think about the potential repercussions.
As an old man, I look back wishing I left the girl earlier that didn’t like my pets. There are so many more out there. *unless she is super remorseful and truly feels like shit. She is also a young person that deserves some leniency for being dumb.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I have lost pets from natural causes and it hurts so much. Take the time to grieve for your pet friend, especially since your gf did something you told her not to do. It’s up to you whether you want to stay with her or not, but if the pattern of her dismissing you keeps repeating it would seriously be better to break up because that would be a borderline abusive relationship.
NTA. You asked her not to bring the cat. Anyone with a cat knows that cats are excellent hunters and enjoy killing small animals, sometimes even playing with them beforehand. I’m really sorry about Squishy. Lots of people who don’t have non-traditional pets don’t understand how precious they can be to us. I hope she’s apologetic and understands what she has done if you do decide to answer her calls. I like cats, even love them, but I have parrots (one of which is disabled and can’t fly) and I would never in my right mind bring a cat into my home under normal circumstances.
Dump her.
Definitely not the asshole and I’m sorry for your loss! Cat is going to cat (please don’t be mad at kitty though) and your girlfriend needed to respect your wishes and not bring her little predatory pet over.
I have cats (and a dog), and I love them and do want to take them to friends houses. But several have smaller animals as pets and I know my animals would do them harm. Therefore, I do not bring them over. It is that simple.
Girlfriend is definitely in the wrong here and it’s up to you what, if anything, she can do to make amends – barring anything like killing her cat or being disrespectful to her. It’s really going to be up to you at this point.
Oh no, this is terrible. I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁
First of all, you don’t even need a reason to break up with her, but if you did, this would be a perfect reason what for. She essentially killed a member of your family with her negligence. She should know better. It’s her fault, not yours nor the cat’s. I’d be fucking livid if my girlfriend brought in a dog that killed my cat. But she knows better. For some reason yours didn’t.
Bad crookshanks
Cats are not even a pet you randomly bring around, they usually hate that as it is stresses them out to be in new and unfamiliar places. What reason did your gf have for bringing it over?
So if I read this correctly, she brought her cat to YOUR house, she knew you had a pet squirrel, and ignored you anyways?No, dude, break up with her. Maybe she’ll develop a wonderful thing called ‘common sense’. She ain’t the one. If you do need to talk to someone, DM’s are open. Might take me a bit to respond but I will respond to you.
INFO NEEDED – You say bring her cat home. So do you both live together and she was bring her pet to where you both live? Has she previously mentioned she would bring the cat eventually? Did your pet live in a cage or was it just out? Obviously it is not okay that your pet was killed but a lot of details are missing from this.
Ditch the girl friend
I’m sorry bud.
I would completely broke with her, you set a boundaries very clear and firmly to protect your pet (which is a loved one and not a toy or an object, hurts much more to lose a pet than an expensive TV or computer).
She broke your trust and the consequence of her actions have been the death of your loved one.
She doesn’t deserve to even apology, honestly. This is one of those wrongs that can’t be corrected.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You have every right to feel this way and I don’t know that I could ever get over it. I love my cat more than life itself but I’m not oblivious to the fact his primal urge is to hunt and I would never allow him near another animal that he could hurt. Your gf sounds selfish and disrespectful.
NTA. i dont even understand this. she was aware of your squirrel. you also asked her not to bring the cat over. but she brought it over anyway? how could that be a mistake? if she really thinks it was a mistake, it was still extremely careless. im so sorry for your loss, i would be devastated. im not sure i would be able to move on with her after that…
I mean cats are well cats, and cats chase and kill rodents so yeah, she shouldn’t have brought her cat. And sounds like you told her not to bring the cat, so she doesn’t even have the excuse of it being an accident since she knew beforehand.
The only difference between wild cats and domestic cats is domestic cats are friendly to people.
So yeah, you’re not the asshole here your girlfriend or I suppose ex now is the asshole. But idk you should maybe let your friends at least know what is up so they could offer support, but for sure I can see why you don’t want to talk to your girlfriend after that.
I would break up with that person immediately. Her dismissal of your valid concern and reasonable request resulted in something deeply painful for you. She’s an asshole.
You’re not an asshole. I could not date or be friends with someone who had a pet that killed my pet.
I love cats, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about birds and rodents. I would never have the two in the same room.
Just like I wouldn’t have our cats and most large dogs in the same room.
This is hard lesson in boundaries and respect and you gf failed at both of them. Do with that information what you will.
You asked her not to do it. She knew about your pet. She did it anyway. You are not in the wrong. She blatantly violated your wishes and your trust, and it led to the death of your beloved pet. Honestly, there’s really no working this situation out. You will never be able to look at that cat or your girlfriend, and not think of your girlfriend’s massive breach of trust. You would be perfectly and absolutely justified in dumping her for this. I hate to say it, because I wish I could see another solution, but I honestly believe that it would be best for you and your own mental health in the long run to do so.
Be aware that she’ll likely try to make it look like you’re the bad guy for dumping her over a squirrel. If you have common friends on social media, I’d suggest getting a jump on it and putting your side of the story out there first. Keep it short and simple. Use what I wrote above as a basis for it if you wish. Then drop her, block her, cut contact, and grieve for your departed friend.
Sorry. I wish I could help. I know how badly it sucks to lose a fuzzy friend.
Dump her. This kind of negligent irresponsibility and lack of common sense doesn’t go away.