#EstateManagement #FamilyFriends #GrandparentsHouse #NeighborDrama
Hey everyone, I need your input on a tricky situation I’m dealing with as the executor of my grandma’s estate. Her neighbors, who are lifelong family friends, have keys to her house and are taking things without permission after she passed away.
I changed most of the locks to prevent unauthorized access, but they still have access to the house due to a water leak that needs monitoring. However, they are taking advantage of this by helping themselves to items without my consent.
I’m at a loss on how to handle this delicate situation. I don’t want to upset them, but this behavior is unacceptable. Have you ever experienced something like this before? What would you do in my shoes? Let me know in the comments below! 😬🏡 #HelpMeOut #FamilyDrama #NeedAdvice
Turn off the water to the entire house so you don’t have to deal with the leak at all, then change all the door locks. There should be a valve either in the house somewhere, or in an access point in the yard outside to shut off the main line to the house. They’re stealing from her house and you don’t know if what they’re telling you about is even everything.
Change the locks and give a key to only one person whom you trust to handle the leak; you can probably pay them a little bit out of the estate for their trouble to help ensure they are motivated to keep that trust (but double check with a lawyer or your local laws). If the neighbors complain, explain that you aren’t trying to deny them any keepsakes, just trying to make sure everything is sorted properly. Let them know that they will have a chance to make special requests after everything is catalogued and sorted, and let them know if you’ll be having an estate sale so they can come by a little earlier than the crowds to buy what they want.
If they are really friends and not just vultures, they should be understanding. They may be grieving too, and it’s reasonable for them to want keepsakes or to share in their friend’s legacy. But they need to recognize they aren’t the only people grieving or inheriting, and they need to respect the proper process.
Tell them “I am the executor to their estate, and I do not give you permission to take anything until it’s sorted out. Please return anything you have already taken and let me know if you have any requests.”
As executor, you have a fidicuary duty to the estate. Ask them to return everything until you can get it all sorted out. Change the locks and pay someone to deal with the leak.
Change. The. Locks.
NOW.
Chnage the locks
Change the locks and get someone trustworthy to empty the bucket.
They can be offended. It isn’t fatal.
I’m not sure where you are, but in the UK, as an executor you can use estate funds to repair the leak and change the locks. Neighbours taking things from the property before probate is theft, even if they have been left to them in the will, as their values will need to be included in tax calculations.
Edit: It would be a good idea to use estate funds to fix the leak, as if you pay for this yourself from inheritance, it will be after tax so more expensive in real terms
ask for the key and the items back. you don’t have to be confrontational about it, just ask. if they get huffy or defensive, just remind them that they’ve shared proof with you of them burglarizing the house. tell them you’ve installed cameras and if they do it again you will notify the police. remind them to have some respect for the dead.
CHANGE ALL THE LOCKS. Have an attorney tell the neighbors to return what they took.
You just need to change the last lock! If they took something important you can file with the police for stealing. You can probably find someone else to check on the house if you want or put a camera that looks at the door they use so you can see if they leave with anything. If the house isn’t in use you can shut the water off and maybe fix the pipe enough with some silicone so it doesn’t drip.
Call a plumber, change the last lock.
I’m sorry for your loss, but this really isn’t that difficult of a problem to solve.
You should have changed the locks day one. Well as soon as you started taking responsibility.