#OfficeDilemma #ReviewShare #WorkplaceEtiquette
🤐 Boss told me not to share my review with coworkers
So today we got our annual review details from our boss. As soon as I saw mine, my coworker A was asking me what’s mine like. I told her (totally stupid now I think about it) and she didn’t seem happy because she is a high performer but didn’t get as good reviews as I did. So later on we had one on one talks with boss and I could obviously feel my boss was not happy with me even though my reviews are good. Also he warned me not to share my reviews with people at the end of the meeting.
I panicked and texted my coworker and she said during her 1:1 she said she did compare notes with people and felt she didn’t get what she deserved but didn’t say who she compared with. But the thing is it’s easy to tell who did because there were literally only a few of us in the office today and I asked the other guy, he didn’t get warned, just me.
I feel terrible and even wonder what’s next for me. Hindsight is 20 20 I know I shouldn’t have told her. So what should I do? Is it time for me to start looking elsewhere? Idk what’s going on boss’ mind in this situation. She said he even asked her who shared, so obviously he cared and wanted to know. I feel like I committed some sort of crime even I didn’t intentionally harm anyone.
I am in the US.
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The Importance of Workplace Etiquette and Confidentiality in Performance Reviews
When it comes to annual performance reviews, there is often a high level of anticipation and curiosity among coworkers to know how their peers were evaluated. However, it is crucial to understand the importance of maintaining confidentiality and adhering to workplace etiquette when it comes to discussing performance reviews. In this article, we will discuss the implications of sharing performance review details with coworkers, the potential consequences of breaching confidentiality, and how to handle the situation if you find yourself in a similar predicament.
## Understanding the Ramifications
With the excitement surrounding performance reviews, it can be tempting to share the details of one’s evaluation with coworkers. However, it is essential to recognize that performance reviews are confidential and sharing this information can have significant implications. Here are some reasons why maintaining confidentiality is crucial:
1. **Breach of Trust**: Sharing performance review details without permission can be perceived as a breach of trust by both the employer and coworkers.
2. **Impact on Morale**: Disparities in performance review ratings can lead to feelings of resentment and demotivation among coworkers, negatively impacting the overall morale of the team.
3. **Perceived Favoritism**: When coworkers compare their performance review ratings, it can lead to perceptions of favoritism or unfair treatment, fostering a sense of discord within the team.
4. **Professionalism and Respect**: Confidentiality is an integral part of professionalism and respect in the workplace. Respecting the privacy of others’ performance evaluations demonstrates integrity and maturity.
## The Consequences of Sharing Performance Review Details
In the scenario presented, the repercussions of sharing performance review details with a coworker have become evident. The individual in question has received a warning from their boss and is now contemplating the potential impact on their future at the company. It is important to understand the potential consequences of breaching confidentiality in the workplace:
1. **Damage to Professional Reputation**: Breaching confidentiality can tarnish an individual’s professional reputation and credibility within the organization.
2. **Lack of Trust**: The employer may view the individual as untrustworthy, impacting their prospects for future opportunities and career advancement within the company.
3. **Career Implications**: The breach of confidentiality may lead to strained relationships with coworkers and management, potentially affecting the individual’s career trajectory within the organization.
## Handling the Situation
In the given scenario, the individual is understandably in a state of distress and uncertainty. Here are some steps to consider when facing a similar situation:
1. **Acknowledge the Mistake**: Recognize and acknowledge the mistake of sharing performance review details with a coworker without realizing the potential consequences.
2. **Apologize and Take Responsibility**: Offer a sincere apology to the boss for disregarding the directive regarding confidentiality and take full responsibility for the lapse in judgment.
3. **Seek Clarification**: If possible, seek clarification from the boss regarding the specific concerns and repercussions of sharing performance review details and inquire about the steps to rectify the situation.
4. **Rebuild Trust**: Demonstrate a commitment to upholding confidentiality and workplace etiquette by maintaining professionalism in all interactions and respecting the privacy of performance evaluations.
5. **Reflect on Personal Growth**: Use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth and learning, understanding the importance of discretion and confidentiality in the workplace.
## Moving Forward
As the individual contemplates the potential implications of their actions and their future at the company, it is essential to consider the following aspects:
1. **Learning from Mistakes**: Embrace the opportunity to learn from the mistake and demonstrate growth and maturity in handling workplace challenges.
2. **Reaffirming Commitment**: Reaffirm the commitment to upholding workplace etiquette and confidentiality, thereby rebuilding trust and credibility within the organization.
3. **Seeking Support**: If the situation has caused significant distress, seeking guidance from a mentor, HR representative, or trusted colleague can provide valuable insights and support.
In conclusion, the scenario presented highlights the significance of maintaining confidentiality and adhering to workplace etiquette, particularly when it comes to performance reviews. By understanding the ramifications of sharing performance review details, acknowledging the mistake, and taking proactive steps to rectify the situation, individuals can navigate potential challenges and demonstrate a commitment to professionalism and growth. Remember, while mistakes happen, it is how we handle and learn from them that shapes our professional journey.
Huh, IANAL, but if anything more comes of this (like you getting fired), you may want to discuss legal options as this seems very akin to discussing pay, which it’s illegal for an employer to bar you from discussing.
There’s nothing to panic about. The popular opinion on this thread is right but I’ll give you concrete action item.
“Ah I normally just operate transparently but I clearly misjudged the situation. thank you for the feedback, it won’t happen again.”
In reality that’s the company’s problem and your bosses problem and he knows it. You’re just giving him face and he will like you for it.
Ur boss is annoying, u did what u naturally would’ve done and ur not wrong for it
It’s not legal for your work to say you cannot discuss things like pay and these things. You are 100% within your rights to talk about these things, even at the workplace. The legally cannot tell you not to, and cannot fire you for doing so.
lol, you boss is just trying to gain power by hording information. You did nothing wrong, IMO. If you get fired over this then flip them the bird on the way out and find a new job.
This is like companies telling people not to share salary information. If you don’t know you are getting underpaid compared to your co-workers then they can continue to fuck you in the ass all day with no repercussions.
> she is a high performer but didn’t get as good reviews as I did
Is this company stack ranked? It’s quite possible the manager knew her review was unfair and is ashamed she found out like this.
… you are overreacting
You learnt a valuable lesson: coworkers are not your friends.
I would start looking if I were you. Had something similar happen with me and 2 coworkers right before we all got laid off earlier this year, about 3 weeks after a discussion like this with my manager.
The issue was a bit different, a specific team member was holding up our PRs so our tickets weren’t getting closed when expected, which threw off our individual jira velocitys. My manager had a stern talk with me and the other 2 guys telling us we’re too slow and can’t keep having tickets going over expectations. I walked her through step by step of the delay “I finished the work outlined in the ticket 2 days before the estimated completion date, this guy didn’t review it until a day after the estimate and in his review he asked for a major refactor. I finished that the same day, he reviewed those changes 2 days later at which point he had merged something that required another huge refactor. After completing that he reviewed it 2 days later and asked for another huge unrelated refactor.” I then showed her in github where he did that to the 2 other guys as well and told her he’d been doing this since he joined our team when our tickets started going over the estimate. The 3 of us got laid off a few weeks after this discussion and everyone on the team except for him got laid off over the next 6 months. He’s been at the company a long time and is really good at coding, but his request were mostly nice to haves that didn’t relate to the task in the ticket. I know now to push back on that stuff more in the future.
Dw they don’t fire you for that.
Just relax
I would have told my boss that it’s within my rights to talk about my reviews or my salary with my coworkers. I would have told him that HR will back me up if he has any concerns.
You have to go through things like this to really learn what you can share, but more importantly **who** you can share things with.
There are a lot of people out there who just don’t understand, and will unintentionally throw you under the bus even though you were trying to help them out.
There are also a lot of people out there who just don’t give a fuck and will do whatever they can think of to get what they want.
Good learning experience.
One time my boss told me not to share my review to my peers. I did it any ways. I found out my boss was lying about my reviews saying this is what my “peers” said so that I wouldn’t get promoted. Still fucking livid about it. I say share and be transparent. This is your boss’ fault, not yours.
You were right to share with her, since it clearly didn’t bother you. This is exactly why women can’t get ahead in IT. Managers trick employees and use fear into thinking they can’t talk to people and then high performing women like her and others in underrepresented groups consistently get underpaid. And honestly, even if you’re not part of a marginalized group you might unknowingly be underpaid as well. Because if no one knows what anyone else makes, they don’t know where they stand.
You should be proud that you did the right thing and not let some manager who’s using illegal tactics get to you.
When managing salaries, I set pay to the market rate for the position using salary surveys so that money was never the reason to leave. I found that quiet people who didn’t negotiate their pay, often female immigrants, were paid up to 25% below others. And loud, gregarious, charismatic people who sucked up to the CEO were paid up to 25% more than I valued them. There was also often a big delay for people from junior to mid or mid to senior. I fixed all that, including firing one of the boss’s mates, who was massively overpaid. Retention was high under this system.
However, the empty suit who took over returned to the old system of paying as little as possible. This meant CPI for most people and bigger pay increases for people who negotiated well, threatened to leave, or were friends with the boss. Several very good people left after he introduced this system. The result was increased recruitment costs, reduced team skill, and fewer people to do client work when required.
The lesson is that many bosses are selfish, manipulative, dishonest and short-sighted. Its a him problem not a you problem.
Female, high performer, mediocre review. Well you probably know that manager is a sexist bozo. I discuss reviews with others in my group and we share verbiage for self assessments there’s no rules against it
You are probably overreacting, but it’s actually your boss that fucked up.
In the United States, under the National Labor Relations Act, it is unlawful for an employer to retaliate against you for discussing pay, benefits, or working conditions with coworkers.
You should document everything about this incident. Save screenshots of conversations, text messages, meeting transcripts, etc. Do not post them publicly but save them for your own purposes. If your manager wants to talk to you further about this: **secretly record it if you live in a one-party recording consent state, or if your meeting software displays a recording consent notification**. Save anything that would prove that (1) you did discuss your performance reviews with your coworker, (2) your employer was aware you did it, **and** (3) your employer verbally reprimanded you for doing so.
This is illegal, and if you are fired or “let go” soon for any reason you will have a case against your employer and can file an NLRB charge against them for violating your labor rights.
Will give you advice as a manager who gives such reviews, though I never tell people not to share their review, they can. However there are consequences to doing so.
You may think she’s a good performer. She may think she’s a good performer. However that may not be the case. She may have higher expectations as a senior in her role whereas you excel at your responsibilities as a junior for example, so it’s not so easy to really tell how well your coworker has been doing unless you’re sitting in her quarterly/semi annual checkin (frequency depends but the conversation should definitely not be a surprise to anyone)
Personally, The reason I don’t share my reviews is because I know where I stand. Both performance wise and market wise as it relates to total comp. And I don’t know where my coworkers stand. There’s more to what a person does than what you see (especially in a remote setting) and what side quests the manager may have for someone.
The other reason I won’t share is this for exact reason. Though she didn’t tell the manager who got what and whatnot, but the conversation should never be about what he or she gets paid. She should be able to speak for her accomplishments and value rather than point fingers and say well they got this. It’s a losing strategy and is seen as complaining.
Manager shouldn’t have any repercussions but just take it as a lesson learned. My two cents at least
Meh. I say feel free to share it. Feel free to share your salary and raise too. Companies like to keep you in the dark so that they have more freedom and less accountability.
> I feel like I committed some sort of crime even I didn’t intentionally harm anyone.
Exactly the opposite, your boss was breaking the law by telling you not to share the details of your review.
Lmao last time I shared my salary with my team … everyone quit for higher paying jobs
There’s nothing to freeze around. The well known conclusion on this string is right but I’ll provide you concrete activity thing.
“Ah I regularly fair work straightforwardly but I clearly misinterpreted the circumstance. thank you for the input, it won’t happen again.”
In reality that’s the company’s issue and your bosses issue and he knows it. You’re fair giving him confront and he will like you for it.
Office politics sucks. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned after getting canned at my first two jobs but I’m currently on year 5 at my current company with good performance reviews.
1. It’s more important to be liked than competent. I was competent at my first two jobs but not well liked. They found a reason to can me. My first job my manager hated me so much (because HR sent me, junior developer fresh out of college, and he had a “policy” that he only works with senior developers) that he sabotaged my work to say “see, I need a senior developer”. I was competent. I even created a website that the C-level people still use 8 years later. My boss got an award for it, but didn’t even mention me at the ceremony. I was the sole developer. All he did was carry the stick.
2. Don’t talk about politics. Ever.
3. Same goes for religion.
4. Same goes for any mental illness. Yes, there’s the ADA blah blah blah. It only protects you if you can afford a lawyer. You show up with a lawyer. They show up with an entire legal firm. I know people will disagree, but I struggle with OCD and at my first job they regularly had me in HR for my “anxiety”. They thought I was hiding something. My second job I told them and I went from “making solid progress” on day 45 of a 90 day PIP to fired in 3 days flat. They documented it all. I know I got fired for it. They know I got fired for it. But I don’t have proof because I was already on a PIP. They told me how well I was doing on Friday, but asked why I was anxious. On the following Tuesday they fired me for “new information” and wouldn’t tell me what it was. I was competent, but people didn’t like my quirks. So my ass was tossed to the road. At my current job, I have done my best to be well liked even at the expense of competence. I’m known as the dad joke guy. People really like me. But I’ve intentionally done this. I’m a friendly person, but I have done my best to make it so no one can hate me.
5. Don’t discuss salary. I know that’s what the company wants and it’s perfectly legal, but see #1. I have kids to feed. If you talk about salary you risk coworkers being jealous of you, which of course they should be mad at the company not you, but feelings aren’t always logical and are often misplaced. Your boss certainly won’t like you.
6. Do your job, always with a smile. You can be angry on the inside, but you need to be cool as a cucumber on the outside.