, I am an AI language model and I understand that you’re going through a difficult situation with your boyfriend. Trust and fidelity are key factors in a healthy relationship, and it is understandable that you are feeling hurt, betrayed, and confused about how to proceed. In this article, I will provide advice and insights to help you deal with this situation, but ultimately, the decision is yours to make.
1. Communicate openly and honestly: It is essential to have open and honest communication with your boyfriend about your feelings, concerns, and expectations. Express your hurt and disappointment in a calm manner, emphasizing how his actions have affected you emotionally and the impact it has on your relationship and family.
Furthermore, encourage him to be truthful about what exactly happened at the strip club and why he made the choices he did. Understanding his motivations and perspective can shed light on the situation, but it is crucial for him to take responsibility for his actions and not make excuses or deflect blame onto others.
2. Seek professional help: Consider couples therapy or relationship counseling as a means to address the underlying issues in your relationship. A trained therapist can facilitate discussions, help you both work through the betrayal, and provide guidance on how to rebuild trust. It is essential that both parties commit to the therapy and actively participate in the process.
3. Assess your boundaries and expectations: Reflect on the boundaries and expectations you have set in your relationship regarding fidelity and trust. This incident has exposed a breach in these boundaries, and it is important to evaluate if they are realistic and well-communicated. Discuss your boundaries with your boyfriend and work together to reach a mutual understanding and agreement.
4. Rebuilding trust: Rebuilding trust takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. It is crucial for your boyfriend to understand the gravity of his actions and express genuine remorse. Transparency and consistency in his behavior are necessary to regain your trust. Establishing new boundaries, such as open phone and social media access, may help in the initial stages of rebuilding trust.
Remember, forgiveness is a personal decision, and it is ultimately up to you whether you can move forward and rebuild the trust that has been broken. It is important to consider the overall dynamics of your relationship, including the support and love your boyfriend has shown in the past, as well as the future potential for growth and change.
5. Self-care and support: Focus on taking care of yourself during this difficult time. Seek support from trusted friends or family members who can provide a listening ear and offer objective advice. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help rebuild your self-confidence. Remember that self-care is crucial to your overall well-being, regardless of the outcome of this specific situation.
6. Reevaluating the relationship: It is essential to reevaluate the relationship as a whole, taking into account not only this incident but also the overall patterns of behavior and the foundation of trust and love you have built. Consider whether this incident is an isolated behavior or a reflection of deeper issues within the relationship.
Ask yourself if you can envision a future where trust is restored and both partners are committed to working on the relationship. If you find it difficult to see a path forward or if this incident has highlighted a pattern of behavior that is unacceptable to you, it may be necessary to consider the possibility of ending the relationship.
Ultimately, the decision to stay in the relationship or to leave is deeply personal and should be based on what feels right to you. Trust your instincts and prioritize your emotional well-being and the well-being of your child.
What he did was irresponsible and inconsiderate. But it’s one mistake, and guys can get carried away with their buddies and on a bachelors’.
I would strongly advise you seek a therapist and go together to talk about what happened, how you feel about it, and how it will affect your relationship moving forward.
If he’s willing and cooperative, and shows you he’s regretful about that night and wants to work on winning back your trust, then that’s a man I would invest in.
A lot of bachelor’s parties go to strip clubs don’t get stressed about that. Keeping it a secret is worse.
What could explain the cost, if the strip club wasn’t reputable, that he used visa to pay for drinks or a lap dance and the club kept charging the card. It may well have got to $600 before he noticed.
You shouldn’t have his location in the first place. That’s stalker shit. As for the strip club I get why he’d need a few lap dances after dealing with your unemployed ass. Who are you to tell him how he spends his money when he pays for literally everything for you and your baby? That’s honestly insane
It’s really easy to spend $600 at a strip club. Once he’s getting a lap dance the girls hustle to keep the dances going one after another. Usually guys that can’t afford a lot will bring in a set amount of cash but sometimes people are easily teased by the sexy dancing into getting more cash. Sure sometimes there’s sex , but if not the amount he spent probably just means he spent a while with the same girl and she got him to keep taking out cash while she danced on him. Source: I danced in strip clubs many yrs, thru uni etc.
The amount of money spent seemed totally understandable till you said it was dry there. Maybe you should push for a more detailed breakdown. I get buy one lap dance, what $40 say? Maybe buys two for the groom to be, so $120. Say 2 red bulls for him, 2 for groom, $15 each? That still only brings us to $180. Entrance fee maybe $20 a head, say he chipped in $5 to cover groom. $205. Did they partake in recreational drug use? Drink elsewhere?
Sounds like dude got drunk as fuck and burned through the money. He could of just been giving it away OR could of used it on lapdances/escorts who knows. Either seem plausible
I am 12 weeks pp and my husband wouldn’t have gone to a bachelor party and left me home alone with a tiny baby. My husband also still helps with the baby at night. He changes her diaper and helps me. I am getting a lot of red flags besides the spending money on strippers and lying. He does not seem like a great partner.
Personally I wouldn’t sleep with him again until he gets std tested. I don’t think he is staying faithful to you.
You were complicit and accepting the grooms behavior when you both shouldn’t have been friends with him. You shouldn’t be surprised that your relationship now mirrors his behavior. Birds of a feather flock together. So basically a bunch cheaters are hanging together. You are not married so you need your money in a separate account. If your BF owes bill money then he’s responsible for paying it. Do not cover him. You absolutely cannot marry him and yes you should leave. Lying, spending all night with other women, and spending family money on them is a deal breaker. I feel sorry for the bride if she wasn’t aware that she’s marrying a cheater and everyone was complicit around her and didn’t tell her.
Very possible he bought lap dances for the groom. That’s how it’s always worked when my friends had bachelor parties at the strip club.
Even if he did get $200 stolen, that’s $400 spent. He either bankrolled a dance for everyone he was with, or he bought a champagne room experience for his buddy. The latter is likely. Getting the groom on stage might’ve costed a bit, but usually that’s not a large fee.
And as Chris Rock said, “There’s no s*x in the champagne room!”
You know what he spent it on
Yeah, that’s a huge red flag 🚩
You are with a cheater and a loser. I’m sorry. The idea to pay a sex worker to grind in you and who knows what else is disgusting. He Start planning your own future with your baby.
$600 can be spent in < 30 minutes at a strip club. If he was paying for drinks and dances for the Groom that would more than cover it.
Talk to him about your concerns – let him respond or evade. Then decide what to do.
Find a good therapist and attorney. You need to be informed about coparenting. When are you expected back to work. Get your financial parachute together.
Bruh got hammered and got an 8 ball of blow and some strippers no doubt that’s a 600 dollar night
He left his phone at a friends so you could not reach him. You were at home with a newborn and he made sure you could not reach him if there was an emergency. That is unforgivable all on its own and demonstrates clearly just how high of a priority you and your baby are to him.
He spent 600 at the strip club. He threw away 600 your family needed on strippers. The strippers he was getting a lap dance from when he made sure you couldn’t reach him.
He got a lap dance from a stripper while you were at home with his baby. He cheated. Don’t let anyone blow smoke up your ass about it. He cheated and paid for it too!
He then gaslights and guilts you into accepting that atrocious behavior, and three days later you find out he spent 600 at the strip club.
He is not a good a partner. He’s a weak spineless liar, a cheater, and disappears when he feels like it. He is trash. Absolute trash.
And no guys will not be guys. Don’t allow a garbage saying to push you to accept bad behavior from him. Boys will be boys turns into guys will be guys and all it does is excuse bad behavior. It allows men to be assholes. Don’t accept that. You deserve better.
A lap dance is not $600, he is LYING TO YOU.
It is SO easy to spend that much at a strip club. Especially because I’m sure he was buying dances for the groom and such. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that there were “extras” involved.
If you are unpaid maternity leave anyways, take some time for yourself away from him. Go to your parents or a friend for a night or two. A little distance might help you clear you head so you can decide what you want to do. The lying is bad but no one is talking about how he left no money for the family due the week. You have a baby and they cost money all the time.
The only time I spent $600 in the strip club, my BF, the dancer and I had a WILD time in the private champagne room… a regular lap dance doesn’t cost $600 lol
It’s okay for you to take some time to rest and heal while you consider your options. You don’t have to leave immediately. I would insist on an STD test for him before you have unprotected sex with him again and if he only got one lap dance then he should be glad to take that test for you. In my opinion what he did was physical and financial infidelity. He pretended to be rich and single for a night while you were home with your new born baby. He had a naked woman grinding on his lap at the very least and gave her the money you and your baby need for food and diapers. Gross! You’re not going overboard to consider leaving over this.