🤔 Did having older parents (parents over 35 when you were born) impact how you were raised compared to friends with younger parents? 🧐 #parents #oldervsparents #parentingstyle #childhood #family
Different Parenting Styles
– Were your parents more traditional or stricter compared to your friends’ parents?
– Did they offer different perspectives on life or raise you with different values?
Generational Gap
– Did you notice a generational difference between your parents and your friends’ parents?
– How did this impact your upbringing and interactions with others?
Life Experiences
– Did your parents’ age affect the experiences and opportunities they provided for you?
– How did growing up with older parents shape your own values and beliefs?
– Did they offer different perspectives on life or raise you with different values?
Generational Gap
– Did you notice a generational difference between your parents and your friends’ parents?
– How did this impact your upbringing and interactions with others?
Life Experiences
– Did your parents’ age affect the experiences and opportunities they provided for you?
– How did growing up with older parents shape your own values and beliefs?
– How did this impact your upbringing and interactions with others?
Life Experiences
– Did your parents’ age affect the experiences and opportunities they provided for you?
– How did growing up with older parents shape your own values and beliefs?
– How did growing up with older parents shape your own values and beliefs?
Let’s share experiences and perspectives! 🌟 #family #parenting #childhoodmemories #generationaldifferences
We also never had cable TV growing up. Only antenna, our main TV being color, and the TV we would watch at during breakfast was an old black and white TV with the UHF and VHF dials. Watched a lot of Zoom, Arthur, and Cyber Chase in black and white as a kid.
Hard to know. I’m from an immigrant family so idk how much of a role my parents age played in the differences of their parenting style.
My mom in particular tried to have her parenting style in line with what child psychology said was best at the time.
I’m the same age as you approximately and my parents were 45/46 when I was born. We had cable but I wasn’t allowed to watch it at all. My mum basically thought technology would rot my brain. I’d watch x files with my dad on the weekend without her knowing haha. My mum was super strict with going outside etc where I felt that all my friends with younger parents were a lot more lenient. My parents were huge into Montessori/ gentle parenting though and didn’t act like stereotypical boomers in a lot of ways
Nope, not at all.
Wasn’t so much our parents age, it was times we grew up in, 60s was much more safer to let your kid ride their bikes just about anywhere, 12 miles to Huntington Beach, couldn’t do that in 90s, would’ve been run over, and just a lot less people, times were so different over the years
Absolutely! My dad was 42 when I was born and mother was 33. I definitely had way more freedom and I knew about a lot of older music, tv shows, etc. But the biggest difference was the fact my parents were married and always together when my friends parents were mostly all separated. Not long ago, I was told our home was a safe place for my friends and I didn’t have a single clue growing up.
dated a girl with older parents with brisk careers and worked long hours. they weren’t as attentive since they had long days and would come home at odd hours feeling exhausted.
i noticed that in arguments, she had a tough time admitting to her own faults and basically said “i will do whatever i want”. it got difficult after awhile, because it seemed that she lacked a lot of emotional intelligence because of it. basically in her eyes, as long as it wasn’t illegal, she was in the right. when it came to navigating tense situations with grace, she would evaluate whether or not she “owes it to them”.
for contrast, i had a younger, very attentive family where everyone was very involved in each other’s lives. never once did i ask whether i “owed” something to another person who showed me love. i always felt like “if they give me love, i got their back”.
you learn a lot about love and interpersonal skills through your family. i found it interesting that my upbringing was so different, and how differently she handled conflict than i did.
My mother and Father are 30 and 35 yrs older than me … I did have more freedom to explore than my siblings but my parents were more involved in my siblings activities than mine and this was because both of my parents worked when I was little but my mom stayed at home full time with my siblings.
I was the older parent. My daughter’s school had grandparent day and all hers were out of the area. She told me after “you should have come, most of the grandparents were as young as you.” At least she didn’t say I was as old as them!” I was about 45 at the time. 😂
But seriously, I was a lot more relaxed than some of the other parents. We had fairly strict rules but not very many ( mostly about safety) and she knew exactly what to expect.
I was raised by my grandparents in the 80s. They were born in the depression era, and there was definitely a wider generation gap. It’s hard to say how much of my different upbringing was that, and how much was grandma’s religious fanaticism, but I’m pretty sure that even without Jesus, I would have had a very far from normal childhood. Grandma was a stay at home homemaker, she was frugal to the point of being miserly, she resisted technology, and she was very old fashioned in her social thinking. We didn’t get a color tv until 1984, and she would never agree to cable, or a microwave, or even a clothes dryer. Her dishwasher broke and she used it as a storage cabinet. We had a rotary phone well into the mid 90s. I wasn’t really allowed to go anywhere by myself or have friends around, certainly never allowed to date or even spend time on the phone with anyone. I basically just stayed in my room or the basement with my comic books and sports cards and tried to stay out of the way of one of her religious tirades.
To a certain extent, yes.
Yes. My parents were 10 to 15 years older than my peers’ parents. My parents were silent generation vs. boomers. My parents were very thrifty with money, hand-me-down clothing, clothes and shoes were always “serviceable” never trendy. All meals homemade, a big reward would be going to McDonalds three times a year. Once for my birthday, once for my brother’s birthday and once for a successful school year.
My friends’ parents were much less frugal. My friends had trendy clothing and shoes, they would eat out several times a week, they would eat junk food on the regular, hitting up McDonalds was a regular thing. It was even different with school supplies. Their parents would spend money on those erasers that smell (like a white eraser with a coca cola graphic and scented like cola) where as my parents would only buy those hard pink erasers (why pay a dollar more for something).
As I kid, I felt it deeply as I felt like an outcast – not one of the “cool kids”. Once I got old enough to work, I used my money to buy the cool things and trendy clothes so I definitely felt more like I belonged.
As an adult, I appreciate the lessons my parents taught me. I would say as an adult, I am a mix of my friends and my parents. I am frugal on somethings but allow myself to splurge or indulge once in a while. In comparison with my peers, I am definitely more ahead financially when it comes to savings because of the lessons my parents taught me.
Although I do still feel sad for that lonely 7 y.o. kid I used to be on the elementary school ground wearing hand-me-down pants that were several years out of style and buster brown shoes when everyone else was rocking vans and more fashionable clothes.
I think my parents were around 40 when I was born (I have a few older siblings as well). It weirdly never even occurred to me until recently (in my 30s) that they were a little older than is typical. My dad was a little old fashioned, but they were both still cool, plenty active.
As someone who will also be having kids somewhat later in life, your question is interesting to me, though.
My dad was 37 and mom 35 and they have always been cool and great parents lol
I had old parents (both were 40+ at my birth, and I was their first and only child).
I had a pretty weird childhood in several respects, but I don’t think this was primarily due to the age of my parents.
The causal relationship is probably the reverse: My parents were weird (which gave me a weird childhood), and as a result they married and procreated usually late.” As opposed to, “My parents married and procreated usually late, and as a result my childhood was weird.”
My best friend’s parents were. She had siblings that were 18 when she was born
Unfortunately her mom treated her like an afterthought and when ever she was around she seemed burnt out with being a mom. It was sad.
It was clear her mom really didn’t want a kid at that point but did anyway. It was such a weird dynamic, even at a young age I could feel the vibe even though I didn’t understand it fully at that point. It always felt like we weren’t allowed to touch ANYTHING in the house and was uncomfortable to be there
I also have a coworker who had a kid in her late 40’s and constantly mentions “don’t ever have a kid this late in life. I just want to go home and relax but I have to go to a recital tonight”
Which is also super sad. This is not the standard though.
My best friend had kids after 35 and she is so happy about it and is doing all the normal parent things except she’s very relaxed. She treats her first kids (twins) as if they are her third, she doesn’t hover snd allows them space to grow and explore and fall and learn while observing safely but from a distance.
Yes, absolutely. I loved having older parents. My mom was responsible. She introduced me to great music, listened to vinyl and read furiously, knew how to cook and talk about art and culture.
They had done their adventures and already traveled by the time we came along, so we had fabulous aunties and uncles from all over the world come visit us. We didnt have cable or the internet (my one gripe) but they eventually came around by 2005.
My friend’s parents could barely get their shit together or hold down a job. I’m a big fan of the 40± mom club.
Now I’m older and she’s 80, it kinda sucks. Bc she’s older and more fragile. I wanna keep partying with my fabulous, 60s feminist mom and she’s slowing down. Can i keep my mom forever?
My mom was born in 73 I think and I had the same freedom as you. Go do whatever I please but be back when streetlights come on. I lived in a small southern town and it was super safe. I was born in 92.
36/40 when I was born…parentified (another ooops born 4 years later) and totally neglected. I was on my own (but they parented their older two and semi-parented the youngest).
Yes
I had older parents, but didn’t feel anything was particularly different to my peers. Maybe my parents were slightly old-fashioned in some regards, but not much.
Yes although I was born in the 70s.
My parents were a product of Lawrence welk big band era while my friends parents had gone to Woodstock.
Kinda big cultural gap that gave me a different set of circumstances to rebel against.
Absolutely
Yeah, for sure.
My husband had/has old parents. It made him super resentful for a variety of reasons and likely contributed to us getting married and having all our kids before he turned 30. They had his sister over 10 years earlier and were too old and tired to parent properly by the time he was born.
Mom was 31, dad was 41.
Very much different than my best friend
Yes! But I wouldn’t change it for the world. My dad was 38 when I was born. To this day he’s like my best friend. I knew ALL the ‘70s and ‘60s culture. I was 10 in 2003 and was watching Blazing Saddles while my friends watched Finding Nemo 😅 maybe not the best parenting choice on his part.
My dad was 60 when I was born, my mother was 31. Yes, definitely raised different, without a doubt. Born in the 80s and my parents had a very hands off approach to parenting. Childhood emotional neglect would be my biggest complaint in having old parents that weren’t very involved. Definitely had it’s pros and cons…I’ve always been very independent….never had grandparents… They were more financially stable than my peers parents..
Looking at this from the other side I was 38 when my son was born and so was his mother. We were established, had done all the things we wanted to do and could focus just on him and his development.
I was too old to run around with a football, but I got involved in Scouts when he did and we have a close and loving relationship based, I think, on mutual respect and being able to talk through most things.
He’s now 35 and I notice he treats his daughter (5) very much in the way that we treated him as a child. So I guess we did something right in his eyes and I think our age had a great deal to do with that.
Grew up in late 70s and early 80s. Second marriage for my father and first for my mother. Father was 52 and mother was 37 when I was born.
Definitely raised differently. Felt way more strict. If I was with my mom and dad, most people thought they were my parents , but if I went somewhere with just with my Dad, most people thought he was my grandfather.
My mom and dad were in their forties and fifties respectively when I was born. My mom always got so pissed off when other people confused her for my grandma lmao 🤣. My dad had it worse, he was fully grey and looked like Santa Claus lol.
Anyway, I think my mom had difficulty relating to the younger moms at my school tbh.
Also, my dad got dementia and died when he was 69 (nice). So I never got to see him retire to become a part-time professor.
My parents were 35 when I was born. I was the youngest of four and the only girl. My older brothers felt that I got away with so much stuff. However, one of my friend’s in 6th grade, said that I had it good since my parents wanted to know the 5 W’s every time I went out. She said I was lucky. I didn’t think so because it was annoying that they wanted to know all the information but as I look at her life I realized that my parents really cared about my welfare. My brothers got the same treatment so I wasn’t special that way. Mom and Dad were concerned/interested in our lives all the time. They allowed us to be our own people and let us grow up, they didn’t interfere in our lives. They just loved us and were proud of who we are. My parents were married 60 years when my mom passed away. They were excellent examples of a good marriage and good parenting.
yep, because of my mothers taste in tv and music I liked old tv shows and music while my peers were freaking out about modern bands and tv-shows.
Unlike OP i wasn’t as “free” from my mom and home- but it was because i didn’t want to. And because of my location, it just wasn’t safe (or fun) to spend a lot of time outside in the neighborhood- my moms compromise was hikes in the forest. We didn’t have a PC until I was 12 and needed it to do school projects from home. We were kinda old-school in many ways, both because of little money, but also because we like doing it the old-fashioned way.
I spent a few years with older foster parents and it was… An adjustment. They were in their 60s.
Dinner was at 5pm sharp. No dessert and no other food until breakfast.
No friends over and absolutely none of my stuff out of my room unless I was doing homework.
They didn’t like me wearing jeans and singlet tops (I was 13), I was dressed in saddle club clothes…
The only time I could watch tv that I liked was from when I got home until 430pm when the bold and the beautiful came on.
They raged about having to pay $1 a week for home eco cooking, but also insisted I do it to learn how to be a proper ‘woman’
They believed school shoes had to be black leather ones… That was super duper fun in highschool.
They gave me a bob cut as long hair wasn’t for little girls.
I wasn’t allowed to shower only bath, and the water could only cover my thighs in case I slipped and fell.
If I didn’t like dinner I went without. Not even a sandwich. I would rather fucking starve the eat tripe.
Wasn’t allowed to watch the Austar (cable tv).
Bedtime was 830.
Not sure if this was cos foster parents or just… Thats how it was when they raised their children 30+ years ago.
There is a big difference. I am the oldest and my Parents had me in their early 20’s. Fast forward 16 years and they had my brother in their mid-30’s.
I had parents with less money, but young, active and still close to their siblings.
My brother, had my Parents as more invested in their careers, more money, and more focus in him because the toxic Aunts/Uncles fell off.
35 is old to be a parent? Wtf
Yes. My mother was 42 when she had me in 1986. That means she was raised in the 1940s in a tiny village in Europe.
I felt a cultural and general disconnection but later learned we are both Autistic.
I’m 57 and had children in my late 40s and I’m raising them like 80s kids , they ride BMX bikes and have to be home before the street lights are on , I can spend more time with them than most as we did the hard yards paying the house off so work isn’t first.
As far as tech goes my wife is younger and in IT and I’m pretty much on top as well.
I hope my children speak as kindly of me when he is the age of posters here.
Yes, my dad was 40 and my mom was early 30s. My parents were far more mature, prepared, and intentional about raising their kids. They purposely waited before having us, and they successfully broke cycles of dysfunction that they were born into. It also meant that I never really knew my grandparents, but there were other things that contributed to that, they immigrated away from Their countries of birth. I wish all parents were so intentional about when and how they have kids.
My mum had me at 43, I’m the youngest of 4. I was raised so different to my siblings, I basically raised myself and was emotionally neglected. Everyone in the family was old and sick – not the best environment to grow up in and I ended up looking after everyone while my siblings got to have childhoods.
Yeapp.
Dad had me around 50, mum was early thirties. He was already in the grandpa stage, but he had so much unspoken wisdom, and was so intelligent. He really shaped me to be who I am today.
Mum taught me important lessons of life and respect as a whole. Since they were older, my emotions developed more than anything else. It does have its downsides though… As they both had gone through a lot physically. Dad died of cancer in 2020, mum is disabled. Both had high stresses in their life. Both suffered physically. Came from a country of war. Both lost parents young. They grew me into a softie :’)
But honestly. I wouldn’t have gotten the life experience that I did if it wasn’t for them. The great and the horrible. They both loved me a lot, growing up in a home with loving parents who never fight and only show respect really shaped my idea of relationships and what I want. I currently have an amazing partner 🙂