#Relationships #Communication #Boundaries #Respect
Hey everyone! 🤗 I’ve got a bit of a personal story I’d like to share and get your thoughts on. So, here’s the situation:
I’ve been engaged to my girlfriend for two years now. We decided to hit the pause button on marriage because she’s diving into law school, and let’s be real, the whole wedding thing could mess with her student loans. Lately, I’ve been contemplating upgrading her engagement ring since we’re both in a better financial place. 🎉
Now, while watching the Olympics at a bar with friends, a random older guy (let’s call him Kevin) who’s the brother of one of my friends started chiming in. He’s in his mid-40s, still living with his mom, and frankly, he seemed a bit lost in life. Out of nowhere, Kevin started bashing my girlfriend, calling her a gold digger because I mentioned the ring upgrade!
I was pretty taken aback as Kevin threw around insults like “simp” and other derogatory terms, even though he wasn’t part of our conversation at all. 😤
When I finally snapped back, I told him, “I guess it’s great that you live with the only woman who can ever love you, and that’s your mom.” Suddenly, some friends thought I went too far, but no one was defending my girlfriend, who’s worked so hard.
Here are some thoughts I gathered about what happened:
– **Double Standards**: It seems Kevin can hurl insults, but I’m in the wrong for responding. Why do toxic comments get a pass? 🤔
– **Calling Out Bad Behavior**: Sometimes, you have to stand up for what you believe in, but how do you do that without crossing lines?
– **Support from Friends**: Friends should support you, especially when someone disrespects a loved one. It’s messy when they don’t.
I feel like I was justified in my response, but people are saying I went too low. It’s frustrating! Am I living in some weird universe or what?
**What do you think?** Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation where you had to defend someone? How did you deal with it? Share your stories or tips below! Let’s talk about respecting boundaries and standing up for what’s right! 💬
So you met an incel at the bar and some of the group related to him. Hope you meet some better friends in the future. Congrats on the engagement! NTA
NTA
Your friends are clearly more tolerant of this arsehole and his negative comments about your girlfriend and women in general. Why he gets a pass on making those kind of comments, while you standing up to him and putting a stop to it, are told that you crossed the line is the mystery here. He sounds bitter and maybe your friends actually feel sorry for him; he doesn’t have what you have in his life and that is the love of a good woman, other than his mother that is.
Low blow.
YTA and I, a woman, would have bought you and your GF a beer for it.
Sometimes, AH need someone to give them a reality check.
You have shit friends. Do any of them have good relationships with women? NTA
You were in the right here, it was a little harsh of a comment, but it fits the situation. Congrats on the engagement!
NTA. Kevin needed to be put in his place. You did that. Good for you.
Kevin FAFO. You’re right. He can’t dish it out and then not expect a return.
NTA.
NTA
NTA
Everyone who doesn’t put their foot down in cases like this is an enabler. Thank god you are of good character and I do hope you’ll find better friends 🙂
NTA
Don’t buy a bigger rock. Save the money for a downpayment on a home.
NTA
> “I guess it’s great that you live with the only woman who can ever love you and that’s your mom.”
No, that wasn’t a low blow. A low blow would be to add, “and you’re nothing but a rent check to her.”
Nta but time to drop your incel friends also
It’s a low blow, but low blows are sometimes warranted. If he didn’t want to catch shit he shouldn’t talk shit about someone you love based on nothing. NTA.
NTA he is though. Good for you calling him on it.
NTA. Your friends are probably upset because the know he is a pathetic loser and feel sorry for him. But you are right for calling him out for insulting your girlfriend. Tell your friends that if they condone his behavior, they are not providing him an incentive to improve and doing a dis-service to him.
Thank you for your service (of calling out sexism and poor behavior)! More young men need to see other men talk about how gross this behavior is for things to get better. You did the right thing and your friends needed to see/hear it regardless of how uncomfortable it made them.
NTA. You called out misogynistic behavior. Good on you for sticking up for your fiancé.
NTA Mic drop
Congratulations! You have now discovered how a lot of men feel about women. NTA and I wish more men would call each other out for misogyny
NTA and I think you need new friends. It wasn’t a low blow because he’s in his 40s and living with his mother, he should know how to treat women.
Might explain why he’s still living with his mother. Women think he’s an AH!
Let me get this straight, you’re supposed to just sit there and take the insults to your beloved (and women in general) but you’re not allowed to give it back?
NTA. No one gets to insult my loved ones and go away unscathed. I don’t care who they are, friends, friends of friends, family, family of friends, friends of family, strangers, no one.
It can go two ways, either we all have a good laugh or someone gets hurt. Experience tells me that the instigator is usually crying to their mommy (or in this case his little brother). And probably mommy later.
NTA. Was it a low blow? Yeah, but some guys need a kick in the balls sometimes.
Nta get new friends and have a happy life with your future wife
NTA
He needed to hear that.
Happy wedding 🥳
NTA – Kevin is just one of those guys that people love to baby. “That’s just how he is,” “you know he’s had a hard life,” “he’s sensitive about that,” “you should be the bigger person,” etc.
It’s because the Kevins of the world give off “underdog” vibes that make people feel like it’s unfair to pick on them. They’re *so* immature and incompetent that biting back when they nip at you feels like a horse punting a chihuahua. It’s easy to forget that they are full-grown adults who are making choices of their own free will, and those choices are not exempt from scrutiny or criticism just because you find their lives depressing and stunted.
Kevin brought this on himself. Your friends are doing him no favors when they shield him from earned consequences.
Like Martin used to say *He brought it on himself*.😊
NTA
Did you come here for commendations?
Well done, my friend! 👏
(NTA)
NTA good on you. You are a quick wit
My friends say meaner shit than that to me on the daily. You are hanging out with a bunch if light weights if they thought that was bad. Besides he should have left your woman out of it. If he had you would have left his out of it too 😉