#FirstDate #DatingAdvice #Relationships #Cuddling #RespectBoundaries
Alright, let’s dive into this situation that you found yourself in after what seemed like a great first encounter turned awkward real quick. It’s important to remember that setting boundaries and expressing your comfort levels is completely valid and necessary in any relationship. So, let’s break down what happened and what your next steps could be.
**The Weird First Encounter:**
You met this guy on Tinder, talked for months, and finally decided to meet up. The date was going well, you had a lot in common, and you felt comfortable. You invited him to crash at your place with the clear boundary of no sex, just cuddling. However, things took a strange turn when he kept dry humping you despite your repeated requests to stop. Eventually, he started masturbating right beside you, making the situation extremely uncomfortable for you.
**Understanding Boundaries and Consent:**
It’s crucial to understand that boundaries are personal and should always be respected by both parties in any kind of relationship. Here are some key points to keep in mind when it comes to setting boundaries and ensuring consent:
– Boundaries are not negotiable. Once you have clearly communicated your limits, they should be honored without question.
– Consent must be actively given and can be withdrawn at any time. No one is entitled to your body without your explicit permission.
– It’s never your fault for setting boundaries and expecting them to be respected. You did the right thing by communicating your boundaries upfront.
**Analyzing His Actions:**
The behavior exhibited by this guy raises red flags and speaks volumes about his lack of respect for your boundaries. His repeated disregard for your requests and engaging in inappropriate acts without your consent is not acceptable.
**Your Next Steps:**
In light of this discomforting experience, you may be wondering if you should ever hang out with him again. Here are a few things to consider:
– Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe around someone, it’s perfectly okay to distance yourself from that person.
– Communicate your feelings. If you decide to confront him about his behavior, make sure to express how his actions made you feel and why you are choosing to end the interaction.
– Prioritize your well-being. Your mental and emotional health should always come first. If being around this person causes you distress, it might be best to cut ties and move on.
**Final Thoughts:**
Remember that you have every right to set boundaries and expect them to be respected in any relationship. It’s not about being a tease or leading someone on but about maintaining your autonomy and ensuring your comfort and safety.
In conclusion, your experience highlights the importance of mutual respect, clear communication, and the significance of boundaries in any relationship. Trust your instincts, value yourself, and prioritize your well-being above all else. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect at all times.
This guy sounds like a whacko, we are not all like this.
This guy has no self-control, let him go. If he can’t even respect your boundaries in the first night, how will he act later?
Also, no, this was not your fault at all. There are enough men who would be happy to chill and cuddle. And that don’t harass people.
Ditch this guy. You told him no and he kept going. The specifics will change, but that will be a theme in the future.
As someone once told me, when someone shows you who they really are, believe them. He was able to pretend to be a good person over text, but he showed you who he really is that night. Run away from this one.
Absolutely not, I’ve done a first time meetup that ends in just cuddling. This guy just has a problem.
Talking and texting for 6 months, going on a great date, asking him to come to your apt for a sleep over then ask just to cuddle, Guy has been a saint.
My Opinion:
You should never have asked him to sleep over.
My other option, it’s ruined, end whatever is left
Sounds like a total creep.
I dated a girl who wasn’t ready for sex who slept in the bed next to me multiple times without me assaulting her.
Men can cuddle without sex, he apparently can’t, and probably thought you were just playing “hard to get.”
Inviting him to stay over was a risky move to begin with, IMO. Some guys might consider it code for “try to convince me to have sex.”
Sorry this guy doesn’t respect your wishes. Sounds like you made yourself pretty clear.
You said stop. He didn’t
Any guy that’s going to hang on for six months for first date…. That’s unreal. He probably felt you like to lead men on. You should have called the cops for the sexual assault.
Yes, this dude sucks, and you probably just should have kicked him out politely after the first time. If he was determined to have sex, he should have left, but can I explain something?
Sexual desire is the most irrational, irritating part of a man’s life. If it goes on too long, it literally hurts your penis and balls. Imagine clenching you bicep for three hours…The ones who behave just have disciplined their monkey brain a little better than a guy who just pulls out his penis and start masturbating (am I the only one who has been to the zoo?). It is all the time, it doesn’t go away until you have kids, and even then, there is just a higher standard, we hope. EDKH
This dude was wrong, not consensual sexual behavior, and absolutely disgusting. But here is the thin feminist line— we had been chatting for six months, FINALLY meet, so fun, great connection, we are drinking, but I did not want to have sex, ok so I invited him back to my place, but I did not want to have sex, ok we can lay in my BED and CUDDLE, but I do NOT want to have sex. You were playing games, testing his meddle and resolve (whether you choose to see it this way, or not), and did not have the sexual maturity to shut it down long before the dry humping started. Why do you think people date? Why do people invite people back to their bedroom? You talked to this dude for six months, got hammered with him, and invited him into your room and into your bed.
Grow up, dude. He is a borderline sex criminal with his behavior, but you are a borderline-adult with yours. How far did it have to go? “Ok, we can get naked but I DO NOT, want to have sex, ok?”
Again, consent is everything, and a relationship can’t exist without mutual respect. He didn’t respect himself or you, and you didn’t respect yourself. Idk, maybe join a book club if you want company, or say something like, I have diarrhea, I’m on my period, and shut it down. Spoiler for the rest of your life, bedrooms are for sleeping snd fucking, and you weren’t asleep. Grow up, and don’t talk to this guy anymore. There are lots of dudes on tinder, a small number of them with impulse control, good luck. Sorry for the tough love. You needed to hear it. Stay woke lil bird
Dudes definitely a creep, but also you did like everything in your power to send him mixed signals and blue ball the hell outta him. 6months of flirting, finally go on a date, totally hit it off, invite him over, invite him into your bed, then are surprised when he’s trying to make a move.
Again, the roll over and beat off is super cringe/unacceptable, but also if you don’t wanna progress things further, you gotta stop well ahead of getting in bed and spooning with the guy.
a LOT of women will do the “say no sex” thing because they don’t want to come off as easy, then fully and consensually lead people straight down that path by inviting them over, make out with them, cuddling, into touching, etc.
Nah, that’s not hard at all. He’s just a creep.
This is sexual assault. Full stop. I’m so sorry you went through this. I could be wrong but it seems you may be a bit young, if not sorry, but please talk to friends/family about what to do.
You can tell us. Was it Louie C.K.?
I mean my first wtf is talking on tinder for *6 months* before meeting up but yeah, this is fucking unhinged behavior, dump this caveman
Bro W H A T?! this post is unhinged.
You text and talk for 6 months before going out on a date? Then you invite him to lie with you in bed after a night of drinking on the first date but expect nothing to happen? And you are asking if HE’S weird???
It was all fine-ish until he started whacling himself off. Weird.
Well it’s a powerful and overly embellished thing in men . So he felt like you were in the wrong that night. His deliberate careless self absorbed act.wa his act of rebellion and a firm of control. But not all of it is as selfish sounding. Some of its born from natural instincts. But it’s not something involuntary.. thrle humping was to a percentage. But still not respectful and yeah. That wasn’t cool. . well you live and hopefully learn. take it easy there