#WorkplaceHarassment #ConsentMatters #RetailStruggles #KinkAwareness
Hey everyone! 🌟
So, I’ve got a wild story from my job as a server at a nice-ish restaurant. Picture this: I’m serving this couple when things take a seriously uncomfortable turn. Right from the get-go, the girl is glaring at me, and the guy? He’s creeping me out with his flirty comments and some not-so-accidental touching. 😳
When I confronted them—after they crossed a big boundary—the situation escalated quickly. They claimed they were just role-playing a jealousy kink but honestly, it felt more like harassment than anything else. My manager didn’t help either; he thought it was a misunderstanding and chastised me for making a scene! 😤
Here are a few pain points I experienced:
- Inappropriate Conduct: Being touched inappropriately at work is a clear violation of boundaries. It’s confusing and emotionally exhausting.
- Lack of Support: When your manager dismisses your feelings, it adds to the frustration and makes you question your next steps.
- Misunderstanding vs. Harassment: The couple tried to play it off as a kink, but public settings have different rules. What’s consensual in private doesn’t always translate to work environments.
- Workplace Culture: If management overlooks harassment, it creates a toxic work culture, making employees feel unsafe speaking up.
🔑 Possible Solutions:
- Establish Clear Boundaries: Restaurants should have protocols in place for dealing with harassment. Staff should feel empowered to address issues without fear of repercussions.
- Manager Training: Ensure that management understands the difference between kink and harassment. It’s essential for them to support their team members in uncomfortable situations.
- Supportive Environment: Foster a culture where employees can share their experiences without being judged.
Now, I’m reaching out to all of you! Have you ever faced a similar situation at work? How did you handle it? Any tips for maintaining boundaries in a professional setting? Let’s chat in the comments! 💬✨
NTAH..this is horrendous and your manager should have backed you up.
NTA at all.Â
Consent is like the 1st-5th rules of kink play. You may very well have a hostile work environment case on your hands after this, with the way your boss and coworkers are basically retaliating against you for not enjoying this. I’d talk to a lawyer, honestly.
NTA. That’s sexual assault and grossly inappropriate behavior.
NTA
You were sexually assaulted. The intentional contact with your thigh? That was assault.
Oh hell no NTA! WTF!!!! It was beyond inappropriate for them to involve you in their kink play without warning you or getting your consent. It was totally inappropriate for your manager to allow sexual harassment and refuse to back you up, and the co-worker who said you were fuckable is ALSO guilty of sexual harassment. You shouldn’t kink shame?! How could anyone even say something that stupid about this situation? If you were a consenting participant that would be one thing, but you were not which means they totally crossed the line. You should definitely quit if your manager is going to allow that kind of sexual harassment.
Kink shame. Â
What an a**hat.Â
Why do they get to inflict their sex life on you?Â
It didn’t even rise to the level of a kink. It’s basic fantasy role play and they don’t get to touch you and degrade you so they can get their rocks off.   Â
 No one should have to put up with customer behavior like that. Â
They told your manager that they were sexually harassing and insulting you. He said meh, I like money.Â
Demeaning you for their sex play is bad manners at least and creepy at best. Â
Whatever happened to common decency?
NTA. A shame the mgr didn’t back you up. Who knows if the couple was even telling the truth? They could’ve made it up on the spot. Even if it’s true, what right do they have to come in and deliberately insult the restaurant staff, thus preventing them from doing their jobs?
I would write a letter of complaint to the restaurant owner. Be sure to mention the other employee who called you “fuckable.”
In fact maybe you should report the business to the EEOC for sexual harassment.
NTA! The gentleman touched you inappropriately and neither of them got any kind of consent or permission from you to include them in this little charade. Also, i would find a way to report the incident or find a new job. They didnt have your back and they will continue to mistreat you or other servers.
NTA and your manager is COMPLETELY out of line. If you can go over your manager’s head and make a complaint to the owner, do it. If you can recruit other servers from that night to come complain with you, do it. If you don’t get a satisfactory response from the owners, walk. The joy of the restaurant industry is you can usually find something new and it’s time to take advantage of that immediately.
You did not consent to be part of their sex play. Not to go overboard here, but it was a form of assault. Most of it was verbal (abuse from the girl) but there was also intentional no consensual physical contact. NTA. However… you may have rights here. Not knowing where you live, what happened could be grounds for lawsuit or at least a complaint to whatever employment board oversees your jurisdiction. Contact a lawyer, or at the very least go online where you’ll find ways to register a complaint. Document what happened right now before you start to forget all the details. Do not quit your job without legal advice because quitting could give them grounds to dismiss any claims. Contact a crisis hotline and find out how you can get a medical pass to stay out of work until this is settled.
NTA. This is a hostile work environment if your boss is victim blaming and shaming you.
This couple did not have your consent: they touched you and verbally abused you.
That’s not ok.
Restaurants can be very difficult work environments. Do you have a backup plan in case you don’t want to be around that manager anymore?
NTA, at all.
Kinks are fine when all parties are consenting. You did not consent to being part of their foreplay.
NTA. I would contact HR and file a complaint about a hostile workplace and even consider a sexual harassment claim against the “kink shame” guy.
Idk who I’m more mad at…the couple or the manager.
NTA
Oh hell no. And what your male coworker said is unacceptable, saying you should be glad you’re fuckable and not to kink shame? What the actual fuck. Someone involving you in their kink without consent and TOUCHING you without consent, they deserve to be shamed!! You are 1000000% NTA and I hope you find a better job because omg.
NTA. If you have an HR dept, go to them. Go to the owners. Go to the labor board. Hell, go to the media. This manager is a menace and your co-workers are also assholes. This is unacceptable.
NTA. Document everything. Hire a lawyer. This is work place harassment on several levels.
Nta. If they want to role play scenarios, then there were people that they can hire to consensually join them. It’s gross to treat other human beings like props and your manager is an asshole as is that coworker
What’s the misunderstanding? I’d consider asking the manager via text to identify the exact part that was misunderstood. I agree with the other comments, this was sexual harassment. NTA
Don’t worry about the manager being friends with the owner. You need to do more than make a report to the owners. If you are in the US please file an EEOC complaint whether you stay at this job or not.
This is sexual harassment and your manager has a duty to protect you from it, even from customers. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could sue for this.
What the fuck dude. That is not ok.
They sexually harassed you, are you supposed to let customers call you a slut, touch you and stare and comment on your body????How does someone accidentally run their hand up your thigh
Who is your bosses boss, this is not ok
I h ad a customer touch my ass once, I yelled at him to leave, my manager came over and backed me up.
I don’t care if it’s their kink, a joke, real or what ever you should not be sexually harassed at work and your manager has a duty to ensure a safe work environment for you. This is bullshit I’d be talking to his boss
This wasn’t sone light flirting that could be misinterpreted
Your manager is an idiot.
You do not include someone in your KINK scenario without CONSENT.
And touching someone without their consent IS ASSAULT.
And she verbally called you a SLUT?
I MEAN WTAF.
Your manage is saying its ok they sexaully assaulted you.
NTA