## What to Do When You Find Out Your Fiancé Cheated But Won’t Admit It
Are you facing a tough situation where you suspect your fiancé of cheating but he won’t own up to it? It’s a heartbreaking scenario to be in, especially when you are young and in love. Here are some tips on how to handle the situation:
### #Cheating #RelationshipAdvice #Trust #YoungLove
#### 1. **Address the Issue:**
– Confront your fiancé about the messages you found on his phone. Communication is key in any relationship, and it’s important to address any concerns or doubts you may have.
#### 2. **Seek the Truth:**
– While your fiancé may deny any wrongdoing, it’s important to trust your instincts. If you have concrete evidence of cheating, don’t ignore it.
#### 3. **Stay Calm:**
– It’s normal to feel hurt and betrayed in such a situation. Take a moment to breathe and process your emotions before having a serious conversation with your fiancé.
#### 4. **Listen to His Side:**
– Give your fiancé a chance to explain his actions. However, be wary of any excuses or fabrications that may not hold up.
#### 5. **Evaluate the Relationship:**
– Consider if this relationship is still healthy for you. Trust and honesty are the foundations of any successful partnership, so it’s important to assess if those elements are present in your relationship.
#### 6. **Don’t Rush Into Decisions:**
– Take your time to think things through before making any rash decisions. Consult with close friends or family members for advice and support.
#### 7. **Seek Counseling:**
– Relationship counseling can be beneficial in navigating through such challenging times. A neutral third party can help facilitate communication and provide guidance.
#### 8. **Find Peace within Yourself:**
– Remember to take care of your emotional well-being during this tough period. Practice self-care activities that bring you joy and comfort.
#### 9. **Advice from Ancient Wisdom:**
– Reflect on the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, which emphasizes the importance of living a life of integrity and truth. Stay true to yourself and your values, even in difficult circumstances.
In conclusion, discovering that your fiancé may have cheated can be a devastating experience. However, it’s crucial to address the issue head-on and make decisions that align with your well-being and values. Remember that you deserve honesty and respect in a relationship, and don’t hesitate to seek support from loved ones during this challenging time.
You don’t “know when you know” when you don’t have any other life experience to compare against lol
He’s a cheater, he’s obviously not madly in love with you. You’re too young to get married, let alone entertain a marriage to a cheater with no accountability.
He’s just lying lol and you’re a bit silly for entertaining the lies to this degree.
He did it. Do not fall for this idiotic lie.
You say you “know when you know”, but you’re both still *teenagers* and he’s acting like an idiot teenager, not someone who is ready to get married.
>but you know when you know
I would also like to point out that the fact that you’re writing this means you _absolutely did not know._
quite a bold choice to begin your “I need help with my relationship!” post with such a line…
You’re looking for him to admit to it. It doesn’t matter. You don’t need him to admit anything to walk away. Don’t expect cheaters to give you any satisfaction of being right. Learn to walk away from people without bs “closure”
Lol getting engaged to a teenager is the stupidest thing anyone could do, you’re both silly, move on and grow up a little before making serious legal commitments
Girl, wake up.
Oh Lord. I (41M) remember being this young and dumb.
Let me put on my Dad hat (I have a 23 year old who went through something similar.) “Young lady, you’re being unfair to yourself. He is untrustworthy, has told you a stupidly and painfully bad lie and clearly does not respect you. Don’t waste another day with this numpty.”
You’re too young to be tied down to this clown. You will regret this move sooner or later.
He’s flirting with other girls even before the pink-glasses effect wears off, which is like after 3 years of being together in a relationship.
A simple harsh truth – your partner isn’t loyal and isn’t faithful. Many relationships aren’t meant to work out. That’s why many people go through multiple partners until they find right one.
You’re young, don’t waste away your life on someone like that if what you’re looking for is 1on1 loyal relationship.
Some people swing, others don’t. If you don’t, you’d be better off with someone else.
Agree with all people, some people do find real love early in their lives and some do not. You are too young to feel like you are stuck with that person or since you engaged you don’t have any other choice. Sadly he doesn’t even want to admit it right away and that’s not good at all
You have self worth and dump him.
You’re both still children, and you’re acting like it— both of you.
He cheated. Move on.
Why the fuck are both of you engaged at 18 and 19!? I’d say most of your relationship issues stem from this alone
What do you do when you found evidence of him cheating but he won’t admit it? You leave. That’s it. It hurts to leave but it’ll hurt more to stay.
He is a liar and a cheat when someone guards there phone line that they are hiding stuff they know they shouldn’t
He’s lying to you.
Shares an IG and FB account with somebody else??? Girl, bye.
Hey I’m just sayin, it’s obvious he did it. It’s obvious he doesn’t respect you. Take some time apart. If it’s meant to be, you guys will for sure come back together after some maturing and self growth from him.
You are young and you are so convinced he’s the one but in reality he is not. He is a lying cheater. It doesn’t matter if he admits it or not because you saw it with your own eyes. You should be leaving him, get an education or better your life and move on to someone that you do not ignore all the red flags for. Being super protective of their phone is a red flag.
Oh sweet child… You’re 18 and engaged?
Pump. The. Breaks.
You are both still kids. Yes… Children. You may be “adults” in a lot of ways of the law, but you and your fiancé are so so young. You have not experience life at all.
Leave this cheating loser. You have another 60 years of life, give or take. These few years with him are nothing in the scheme of things.
The thing is he’s not going to stop this behavior and this escalates into something YOU DO NOT WANT to be dealing with.
He’s denying it now. Next, he’ll say it’s harmless, doesn’t mean anything. All men do it. I love you. I don’t want to loose you, etc… Before long he’s buying content and you’re pretty much the maid/ Nanny.
Believe me, there’s more going on than just what you’ve found. There always is.
Girl, you never know. No one ever knows. We just go by what we’re willing to tolerate.
Well, when you know you know, right? Apply that to other things, such as when you know he’s cheating on you, lying to you and being a manipulative ass, because you do know this!
Lmao bruh
don’t marry him. THIS IS YOUR TIME TO GET OUT. it will never change. he’ll just get sneakier with it.
lol. “Yes were young but when you know you know”
…
Goes into a whole thing about cheating.
Maybe you *don’t* know
As a widower of a cheater I wish I had paid attention to when she became guarded over her phone. Don’t waste your life with someone you can’t trust wholeheartedly. After this you will do nothing but wonder and suspect and drive yourself crazy. 15 years just wasted. All in the name of don’t seem like you want to control her.
You’re too young. I don’t care if both families approve. You’re too young to get married. Wait until you’re both at least 25. Plus, if he’s hitting on other girls, he’s clearly not ready for marriage anyway.
Putting aside the fact that you think you know he’s the one at 18 even though you evidently don’t trust him (and neither should you, judging by this) which in itself is a whole other issue.
His excuse is he was sharing his Instagram with someone else? At that exact time? On those exact occasions? Ok. List of questions. Who is he sharing it with? How did this come about? Why did he allow this, what were the circumstances? What were the rules for this account sharing? Did the girls he was messaging know it was this mysterious other person?
Come on. I know you’re only 18 but you weren’t born yesterday. You cannot be this naive. He is, of course, lying to you. The most ridiculous lie I think I’ve seen on this app and that’s saying something. He thinks you’re that stupid that you’ll believe it. Where is the respect for you? Not only to be chasing after other girls but also think you’re so incredibly daft you’ll believe that complete nonsense.
If you choose to believe this and stay with this boy, you are in absolutely no way ready to be married. Not one bit.
With all the love in the world, and all of this might seem harsh, but take your head out of your ass – you’re a child still, don’t waste any more time on this guy. You’re setting yourself up for divorce by 21, potentially with a couple of kids already in tow. Choose a better path for yourself. Choose it now.
You’re both immature and there’s no trust between you. Are you getting married just for the sake of getting married? Neither of you sound remotely ready.
He is territory towards his phone not out of privacy concerns but because he didn’t want you to see him flirting with other girls on IG and FB messenger among other things he is probably doing on his phone. I would break up with this dude, marriage is not going to make things better.
The thing he “didn’t do” is successfully cheat. He was trying to, and failed. He WANTS to cheat. He WANTS to be with other girls. He’s got you locked down so now he can act up. Send him back home to his daddy, he’s not ready to be a grown ass man yet.
You break up with him?? How is this a question? Whether or not he admits it doesn’t change the clear evidence before you. And you really are THAT young. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I laugh at what I thought was going to be the end of the world when I was 18. Your whole life is ahead of you. Don’t spend it with someone who, already in your prime of youth, doesn’t respect you or truly love you.
Why in the world would you share a free account? It makes zero sense
Honey, I think you know what’s going on here. Don’t let him gaslight you and treat you like you’re stupid.
Hes hiding his phone from you. He won’t even let you on it for a second to call your own phone. You immediately found evidence of him being a flirt and unfaithful when you checked his phone.
You wouldn’t have checked if you really trusted him and it’s obvious why you don’t trust him.
I get it, you’ve spent two years together and your family is supportive and you expected this to be the man you would be with for the rest of your life! It’s devastating to have all of that be lost in one moment. But it’s better to let him go and start over now than to be stuck in a marriage with someone who disrespects you and treats you like a naive little girl. You have to demand the treatment you want to receive from people.
I’ll be real with you. I think it will be very hard for you to find other partners as dumb as yourselves.
So either break up and get looking or don’t and live the predictable consequences.
>yes we are young, but you know when you know and both families approve of our decision.
I cringed so hard reading this…
You don’t know shit, you’re 18 years old. And just because your parents approved doesn’t make it a wise decision.
Edit to this part: did your mom approve? Your post history suggest you two clash a lot.
>me and my fiancé had been together for two years and engaged for now two months.
Like seriously, 16-18 yrs old and you and everyone around you are just like “bet, lifelong commitment time”. Blows my mind.
>i woke him up confronting him and he had nothing to say other than that it wasn’t him, that he shared insta with someone at the time
OH MY FUCKING GOD. bro could’ve just said “nuh uh” and it would’ve been a better answer than this bullshit, give me a break 😭
>part of me wants to believe him because this is the man i want to marry
Brain off
>but another part of me cant forget about it
Brain on
You’re young so it’s not surprising seeing mistakes like this being made but be a little more realistic moving forward. And break up with this idiot, the fact he actually thinks that terrible lie will work on you is just a slap in the face.
“You know when you know”
Well now you know he cheats so go ahead and unfuck yourself before you make a huge commitment.
Red flags on the play. Even if he didn’t want you to use his phone…he could have called yours at least to help you. Just this super simple act of assistance is already saying a lot. He isn’t trustworthy.
If he is already flirting this behavior won’t stop if you get married. I had a similar feeling when I was 18 about my boyfriend and two years later I felt completely different about it. After I’d had more life experiences and lived/studied in foreign countries…. I could see more clearly.
If he ends up cheating he could expose you to STD’s and some of those you will have forever. Your brain chemistry is wired a certain way before you mature more and I remember those strong feelings like you are having. It was certainly a ‘Notebook’ type of love at that age. As you mature those things change.
He sounds inconsiderate at best and like an unfaithful partner at worst.
Girl, please go with your gut, I was with a previous partner for about 6 years, he started acting weird with his phone for the last year of our relationship. It was always face down all of a sudden, he’d never let it leave his side, to the point he’d take it to the bathroom with him in the middle of a night for a pee… I didn’t want to invade his privacy so I just kept note of all the little things I was noticing.
One day at work my mom calls me, says my little cousin called my aunt asking her what she should do because she has some information that she knew would break my heart but that I needed to know. Well my partner was a musician (singer in a band) and my cousin and her friends would go to his concerts. They are all 16-18 years old, he was 28. Turns out he was sexting 2 of my cousins teen friends, sending naked pictures back and forth, and meeting up with them after concerts.
The day I found out I sat on the couch and waited for him to get home from work, when he got home I told him to put his phone on the coffee table, he absolutely would not let go of that phone. I told him right there it was over.
It was the best decision I ever made. I was 25 at the time and had met him when I was 19. So many of my young years wasted on someone who didn’t love or respect me, please do not make the same mistake ❤️
Don’t be gaslit. You need to realize that this is a relationship in its early stages. If it’s like this now when things are good, then it’s most likely going to happen more when you have issue
When a liar won’t admit the truth, even in the face of the truth, you leave them with their lies. You should not require his admission of guilt to know what happened. You already know what happened. That should be enough. So the real question now if how much self-respect you have. This is a crossroads. If you let him lie to you and let it slide, you just signed up for a life of disrespect, lying, and cheating. Men don’t respect you when you don’t hold them accountable.
Relationships are such an important part of life and carry so much meaning at all stages of life. (Not just romantic ones of course) Which means that ending relationships is super difficult to do. Especially if it’s all you’ve ever known. But you have to take a step back and look at the big picture. Do you truly feel loved and cherished and trusted by this person? Do you feel as though he will always support you and stand by your side when things get shitty? Do you think you can communicate clearly and effectively and that he listens when you do?
Being cagey or sus with your phone is not normal behavior. My partner and I have the same phone password and are constantly grabbing and using eachothers phones because we absolutely trust each other and our relationship.
I love this man more than anything else in the whole world and I feel that same love reciprocated from him every single day. We continue to grow and communicate and I’m desperate to talk about him any chance I get because I’m still obsessed 7 years later. Which in the grand scheme of things isn’t long at all. But you are right, you know when you know.
But I wouldn’t have met him or known if my HS boyfriend didn’t break up with me. Or my other various relationships in college didn’t end for one reason or another. Each relationship I experienced taught me something new about how I wanted to interact with my person, or how I wanted to be treated and respected. I don’t regret any of those relationships, even the terrible ones because they taught me so much about myself.
Relationships are so many parts and when you get locked into a routine in your relationship you can settle for less than you deserve because you feel like this is just how you and your partner are. Or maybe it’s just because you love him that much. But you CAN leave and learn to love and respect yourself more because no partner should ever treat the person they’re supposed to love the most in the world worse than a random stranger. You’ll be okay.
You’re 18. Do not marry that young. Science says your brain isn’t fully developer until you’re 25. Wait until you are at least 25 to make that decision.
There are plenty of men. A man can wait until later. Often, not always, someone wanting to get with you when you’re young is someone that knows they can take advantage of your youth and inexperience.
Not all men are bad-there are good ones, but enough men are bad that you need to be prepared. Bad men don’t show their true colors right away like your fiancé did. Dump this dude. Dude is obviously lying to you. You can’t trust him.
Plan ahead. Go to college and get marketable skills so you have something to fall on if things go south: Example: Like a male decides to leave you or they die.
Work. Save $ for a rainy day. If you can, get some form of passive income like investments or a rental home in your name only.
Then consider marrying at starting a family. Marriage is a high risk for women. Men say it is to them, but how many men’s careers are impacted by marriage? Men usually fare better in careers after marriage. It’s the opposite for women.
Many men will encourage you not to work on your career and to stay home taking care of the home and kids. The problem is you aren’t getting marketable skills in that time, so, if the man dies or leaves you’re messed over. Don’t fall for this-even in marriage, study, keep your skills sharp.
Don’t shack up with someone before you’re financially secure. As risky as marriage is for women, shaking up with someone is riskier. Marriage in most cases at least gives some legal protections. Shacking up doesn’t. Some places don’t have common law marriage. If everything is in his name, and he decides you aren’t worth keeping, you get nothing, even if you raised his kids and contributed to his bills.
So I think the complications are the parents and finances. I also hope no children or none on the way and hopefully no oppressive religion. If the issues are family and finances, easy. You’re not a kid anymore and if you can decide to get married, you can also break said engagement.
Op, this 19 year boy old isn’t loyal or respectful. He is flirting with at least 1 girl that you know of and lied to you. Who shares IG in 2024? Besides from that fact that he’s disrespectful and a bad liar, he’s also a bigger idiot by telling that stupid story. Where’s there’s no trust, there’s no relationship.
At minimum, take off the ring and postponed the engagement and decide if this is the dance you want to do for the rest of your lives because women are always available.
At maximum, end it all together, focus on learning who you are outside of a relationship, travel the world or your country, take up different hobbies, find your happy without that dude and date around. You don’t have to be physically initiate with every guy you date.
IF, you want to continue, tell him to go back to how things used to be with the phones and you guys find a couples therapist.
But I wouldn’t. I know how difficult it is to move on from your 1st loves but hun, you wouldn’t be alone. You were committed and loyal, he wasn’t/isn’t.
Time to let the parental in and pop his bubbles. Hopefully your family stands by you. Good luck