#HRStruggles #FeelingExcluded #WorkLifeBalance
Hey everyone! 😊 I recently started my first ‘adult’ job as an HR coordinator in public service, and I can’t help but wonder: Do people not like me because I work in HR?
When I joined, I noticed the vibe was a bit different compared to my previous jobs. People were less warm and more reserved. At first, I thought it was just because I was the newbie and the youngest (by a decade!) But after being here over a year, I’m starting to feel like an outsider.
Here are a few things I’ve been experiencing:
- 👋 When I say good morning or wish someone a happy birthday, often I get a silent treatment or a quick, dismissive “thank you.”
- ☕ My teammates, who I sit next to daily, rarely include me in their conversations or invite me for a coffee break.
- 🤔 I genuinely try to be friendly and approachable, but it feels like no one really warms up to me.
It’s tough, and honestly, it got me thinking: is there something about working in HR that rubs people the wrong way? Maybe it’s my vibe, or perhaps it’s the nature of the role? I’ve spoken with friends in HR, and they don’t seem to have this same issue, so I’m left wondering if it’s just me.
As someone who values inclusivity, being excluded feels pretty disheartening. I’m not expecting to become best friends with my colleagues, but some acknowledgment would mean the world to me. It’s affecting my mental health, and I’m seriously entertaining the idea of quitting and going back to retail, where I might feel more accepted. 😞
What do you think? Is it a common thing in HR? Share your experiences or any tips you have for navigating workplace relationships! Let’s help each other out! 💬
In my experience, no. There’s a natural air of mistrust sure, but nothing that would rise to the level described. It sounds like there is something more — did the HR person before you do something to make people not like HR?
Just chiming in to say I have had a very similar experience at my organization. I’m friendly, warm, genuine, know when to give space or offer it, and I’m met with a lot of coldness. The rest of my team is remote and very tenured so they have no idea what the office culture is actually like.
There’s a chance the rest of your team, or your predecessors, set the tone for HR in a bad way.
I would talk to your boss about the relationship HR has with the business. What do they think works and doesn’t work? Just for your development, and it’ll be good information for you.
In public service, I don’t think that reputation is THAT uncommon. In other industries like tech, biotech, etc., it’s very uncommon for HR to have a really bad rep.
I consulted for a company once after their HR manager got fired. The bar was so low that when I actually processed 401K enrollments for them they were thrilled. She was so bad she didn’t even figure out the real basics of someone asking me to do something and her doing it so the reputation was bad
Dang your situation sounds like mine exactly. Mine was caused by the previous HR manager always being drama and having a stick up her butt. Like you I was so nice my first few months, saying good morning, good night, afternoon, trying to start small talk, I would receive little to no reaction. Actually a majority of the staff with straight up look the other direction when I speak to them and ignore me. I’ve been in HR for 10 years and never experienced anything like this. I feel like I’m treated like a subhuman. It’s been over a year for me as well and nothing has changed. On the bright side, I accepted a job offer at a new spot, I start very soon. I can see the light finally at the end of the tunnel. Better places out there exist OP, don’t let them discourage you. For me, the office toxicity was wearing on me, I am excited for the change in environment.
As time goes by more people are learning that HR is not there for the employee, they dont hate you they just know that you are there to fire them as much as to help them
As a HR executive with 25 years of experience- I will say yes. Your HR and you’re paid by the company. My free advice (you get what you pay for). Be honest, be ethical, do what you say you’re going to do and demonstrate managerial courage when you have to. The company employees don’t need to like you – but they have to respect you and respect is not given out because of your title.
I think company culture or how the company perceives HR is causing something to be off. I’ve worked remote, hybrid, and in office and noticed depending on company – building relationships is a two way street, it require efforts from both parties. Have you ever asked anyone to get coffee or lunch?
For specifically HR coworkers, a lot of people in HR can be introverted, or shy and want to stay in their lane. This is why I chose to be in compensation, cause I don’t need to deal with employees directly and really only need to with HRBPs and HRIS teams.
No, that’s not normal. That just sounds like a bunch of BS.
I’m younger (30) and interact with staff daily. We joke around and have a good time. A lot of the staff I’d love to have as a friend if I didn’t work in HR lol (the old “be friendly, not friends”).
No one cares what you do for work. Maybe the people you work with just suck.
Yes, they hate us,
Sometimes, workplaces just aren’t the right fit, and that doesn’t mean you’re the problem. You’ve got the self-awareness to know when something’s off, and that’s powerful. If you decide to stick it out, maybe look for ways to connect with just one or two people who seem more open, even if it’s outside of work. But if you decide this place isn’t for you, that’s a strong move too. You deserve to be somewhere that makes you feel good about going to work every day.
Almost nothing good is gained from HR knowing more about you than less.
Might I ask if you’re in a rural area or small town? Exact location isn’t necessary. Also, does this type of “reception” occur outside of the office? I’m curious because if your answers are “yes” to the above questions, it’s likely not you and just the fact that you’re an “outsider”. Even if you’ve lived there for years & years and even if you grew up in the same state less than 90 miles away these small towns tend to outcast everyone whose family hasn’t been in that town for generations. “Good ol’ boy” is the phrase that comes to mind although the word *boy* should be *people* cause I see plenty of grown women acting the way the phrase suggests.