#ResponsibilityStruggle #MindsetShift #BalancingAct
Hey there, fellow responsible individuals! 👋 Do you ever find yourself feeling a little down because you’re always the one who has to be the responsible one? I know I do.
I’ve always been the type to save my money, think twice before making a purchase, and prioritize long-term goals over instant gratification. But lately, I’ve been feeling like maybe I’m missing out on some of the fun and spontaneity that comes with being a little less responsible.
I see friends traveling the world, making impulsive decisions, and just living in the moment, and sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I’m doing it all wrong by being so cautious and structured.
So, I’m curious – does anyone else struggle with this same mindset? Are you too focused on being responsible that it sometimes feels like you’re missing out on living your life to the fullest?
As for a possible solution, here’s what I’ve been trying to do to find a balance:
– Consider setting aside a small portion of your savings for fun activities or experiences
– Find ways to treat yourself without breaking the bank
– Plan ahead for moments of spontaneity so you can feel more comfortable embracing them
– Remember that being responsible is important, but so is enjoying the present moment
Let’s chat and support each other in finding that sweet spot between responsibility and living fully! 🌟 #ResponsibilityStruggle #MindsetShift #BalancingAct
It sounds like maybe you are prioritising the future over the present more than is sensible at this point in your life? The responsible thing to do is to reach a good balance between the two, which makes you happy now and which you think will keep you happy in the future — not to postpone all your happiness to tomorrow. For example, are there house decorating priorities that are absolutely urgent and others you can postpone for six months to a year if the trade-off is a holiday that you need? Are there less expensive things you enjoy that you can do on a weekly basis (eg going to a favourite park and having a picnic with your partner on the weekend) which would make you feel less deprived of fun without blowing the whole budget? It sounds like something is out of sync if you are this unhappy about saving for your future.
I feel the same way. I would love another baby but while my husband and I have a comfortable income, we think adding a fourth would be too much of a stretch to our finances and then would impact on our other children. We also contribute to my FIL care fees and he is reliant on this for his needs.
We would love a dog, but again, feel it would stretch finances. I worry that we couldn’t afford vet bills if something went wrong (we had a similar occurrence with a cat and the insurance did not cover as much as we expected leaving us to pay out a few k).
We’ve not been on holiday for the past few years as it is more sensible to do something on the house to make that daily work easier. We’ve also had a string of bad luck that meant we’ve had to replace appliances etc… which has used a lot of my spare income.
Many of my friends go on several holidays a year and have two new cars on lease. When something happens that’s unexpected, they often can’t fund it from savings or their income.
I do recognise that I am incredibly lucky to be where I am but sometimes do worry that I am being a poor mother by not building these experiences for my kids in exchange for financial resilience (maybe over resilience).
Could you give us some numbers? Sometimes people make posts like this and it turns out they’re earning £5k/month and spending £300 of it, and other times they’re earning £1600 a month and need every penny just to keep the lights on and food on the table. Different advice applies in those cases.
Some useful reading here: https://ukpersonal.finance/budgeting/#plan
It’s worth thinking about what exactly you’re craving. It could be any or all of:
* A fun experience – if you can’t afford a week long foreign holiday, then is there something that’s fun and novel that you can do that you could afford?
* Feeling like you actually specifically want to see the Alhambra or get a dog or something – can you make a plan for when you will be able to afford this, even if it’s far in the future?
* Tired of questioning all purchases 10x – maybe you actually need a *more* detailed budget, with reasonable amounts of money set aside per month for the things you need. Then when you’re thinking ‘do I really need sandals for the summer’ you can check the clothes budget and get a definitive answer
* Missing that carefree feeling – can you put some money aside in the budget (at whatever amount makes sense for your income and outgoings) for stress-free spending? Like if you don’t spend it on something stupid you have to donate it to your least favourite political party or something. Even if you’re not in a position to get a new pet on a whim, you’re probably in a position to get a coffee on a whim
Yes 😅 Currently in my early 20s, moved back home, no longer going on holidays (this was previously a big priority) and living by a very strict budget to save for a deposit. Working a lot of overtime and “missing out” on a lot of things.
Seeing people around me continue to party, travel lots & spend with no worries on credit cards, overdrafts etc whereas I feel like I’m being irresponsible if I get 1 takeaway a month from my spend budget 🥹 Building a strong foundation is so important to me but I hate that I’m doing the “right thing” yet I’m not having as good a time as people who aren’t prioritising the “right things.” Although I do believe I’m making the necessary sacrifices for my goals personally.
Main thing is do not compare yourself to other people, because even tho they might be going here and there sometimes, that’s not their reality.
I know a lot of people who are getting themselves into huge amounts of debt to go on x many holidays a year and appear as if they have their sh*t together, when in reality they are really struggling both financially and mentally.
A lot of people that go off travelling, they have a huge bankroll from mum and dad. Big safety net in life which many of us don’t.
I am in a similar boat, but I have everything I need and have realised I need to enjoy what I have more – even if that does mean saving a lot of money vs spending it. As long as you still do *enough* (holidays abroad when you have leave), slowly doing the house and using high quality stuff, it’ll just pay dividends when you’re older. Depends also if you’re stuck in your career.
It depends on your financial situation, but what I do is I have a fun-money pot, every month I put £X into my pot, this money is no questions asked spendable, if I want a chocolate fountain or some art or a video game it is no questions asked.
I typically have say sales alerts on camelcamelcamel or steam or other things i’m interested in, and assuming an item I want is on sale and it’s below my fun money pot, it’s spent. This should be an amount of money that is insignificant to your life, and can even be taken from other expenditure. I first did this when I stopped commuting to work, as I had “gained” commuting money + coffee money, a portion of this went to “fun money” every month.
You only live once, you very rarely would see someone on their deathbed upset they hadn’t saved more and holidayd too often, but you also don’t want to be homeless in old age. Follow the flowchart, invest/save at rates reasonable to you, give yourself a fun pot, enjoy the fun pot.
Sometimes it’s about mindset. There are lots of ways to go on holiday without spending much. For example you can buy all your house furnishings with a points credit card and use the points generated to pay for your holiday.
People do things like house swaps instead of paying for hotels.
Consider also what you consider an essential and what is a nice to have. If you need a pet to be happy and have wellbeing then it should be bumped into the essential category rather than nice to have. Meanwhile, furnishing your house, maybe you would be happy with some 2nd hand or cheap Asda bits rather than buying nice. Or you could buy some, but not all the furniture right now and hold off on some non essential housewares.