Are you feeling lost at 30 with no job, living at home, and struggling to find your place in the adult world? Have your friends moved on to relationships and families, leaving you feeling isolated and unhappy? Wondering if it’s too late to turn things around and become successful? Are you struggling to find motivation and purpose, feeling like the fire of your youth has faded? Let’s explore how to navigate this challenging phase of life and find a path forward. #lostat30 #strugglingadult #jobless #feelingalone #findingpurpose #successat30 #motivationneeded
Same
Don’t feel too bad, I’m 34 and haven’t really gotten anywhere either. And no degree at all. I hope you can focus on just enjoying your time and doing things that make you happy as opposed to worrying about where you are compared to others. Everyone has their own unique path in life and you still have plenty of time to find yours.
jot some ideas on paper. What can you do now to make money? where can you apply? Where do you ideally be in 5 years time? what skills would you like to have accumulated by then? if you want to, make a vision board in the process. So many millennials in your position, as much as each of us have responsibility for making our lives into what we want, you have to realize that you’re also part of society and what’s going on outside you.
1) Hit the gym HARD: squats, bench press, deadlift
2) Get a job IMMEDIATELY and move out
3) Invest and get a net worth of 200k minimum
4) Possibly date, absolutely no marriage
5) Achieve 500k net worth, rinse and repeat until you are a multimillionaire
Same
If you’re stalled out and have stopped interacting with people, theres minimal chance that someone will randomly hand you a business idea, job offer, date, Saturday plan or whatever.
So much of life is just responding to whats in front of you and getting lucky. Depressed people are exposed to less reality and therefore less randomness and therefore roll the dice on fewer opportunities. That’s why depression is a spiral. The less you do, the worse it gets.
The way to exploit for gain is sometimes called [increasing your luck surface area](https://jamesclear.com/quotes/you-can-increase-your-surface-area-for-good-luck-by-taking-action), and what it basically amounts to is: You need to be doing stuff for luck to find you. The more exposed you are to the potential for random events, the more will happen.
CRITICALLY you also need to cultivate a positive happy curious mood, because otherwise you’ll be in your miserable thoughts and won’t even notice it. You don’t get a random fun conversation if you’re in a filthy mood.
Anyway, that’s one idea for digging out. Hope you feel better soon
I feel the same way; I’m 55 now, and my best years were probably until I was around 23-24. Nowadays, life feels a bit monotonous because I don’t have a job and I don’t really want to work for certain reasons. I spend most of my time at home. However, I’m fortunate to have a wonderful girlfriend and other responsibilities besides just working for a mediocre salary. I’ve chosen to invest in cryptocurrency and have various personal matters to attend to. Taking care of my aging parents is also a priority.
Given this free time, I believe it’s important to find ways to help others or perhaps start a business of my own, like an air conditioning cleaning service. It’s about using our time and resources wisely and finding fulfillment in activities beyond traditional employment.
Not for everyone. Not a military recruiter, am a veteran of one enlistment. Full disclosure I have life time physical and mental health problems service connected and don’t know if it was worth it to be completely honest. But I felt that way at 19. Lost, no way forward, some friends in college doing well some friends in the streets. Made the leap and the money was good. The networking is great. The life experience is the best, not necessarily “good” life experiences but a lot of them and quickly.
All of that to say the military is an option. Retention is so low, they’re offering bonuses for everything. Being you have a degree you could commission and make 3800 in base pay, depending on where you’re stationed up to 3k in housing allowance(non-taxable), you get the gi bill(after you get more free college to pursue a different degree or higher degree), and the networking opportunities are insane. I’ve known AWFUL officers that got out after 1 obligation and wind up getting into Ivy League masters/phd programs or go straight to working for one of the magnificent 7. Beyond that government/federal jobs are easier to get with the experience. There’s Va disability, Va home loans, etc.
There’s a ton of benefits to signing the line. That being said there is no “safe” branch of the military. It sucks ass, hours are long, people are shit, they expect you to die if it serves their purpose. Just putting this out there as an option, maybe a bad one but an option
Okay for starters. Your not too old. I’m 26 and I’m only starting to find myself now. Do yourself a little list of things realistic ones and start from there.
For example.
1. Find employment
2. Set up a little savings even if its only 10£ a week
3. Go for a walk every evening start small 1km
4. Join gym classes for socialising
Don’t start dating till your starting to feel happier with yourself
Goodluck 🙌 stay consistent
Go to the Gym…its a great way to meet people… you get small wins. and you will feel better. Honestly the gym is my answer to everything.
Hi!
I think your self worth is affecting how you’re seeing your situation, your focusing on your whole life and wanting to change everything which isn’t actionable, you need to break down the steps into goals you can work towards. You wouldn’t walk into a house and start a project in every room at once without a plan, why would you do that with a whole person?!
I felt much the same after I had my first child (at 24, now 30) was working in IT at entry level – a different field to my degree(arts) so I felt like I couldn’t progress without any technical knowledge. I moved company to a slightly better wage, hated the company and wanted out.
I applied for EVERYTHING, looked at changing fields completely and did god knows how many interviews and got tonnes of rejections. This helped me get better at interviews and feel more comfortable talking about myself which is invaluable. You’re most likely not going to get the first 10 jobs you interview for but you’ve got to work at it and ALWAYS get feedback.
I then figured out what I liked at my current job and bought a cheap udemy course and learned it in my own time, I then leveraged that for a different position (10k pay rise) did the same again a year later.
My point is you’re overlooking the positives in your situation. Youre in a position where you’ve got time to dedicate to things, low risk as no mortgage to pay and your not stuck with a mood sick of a job you hate.
I used a cleverfox planner, if you don’t have the money to buy one look at the pictures of the sheets included. It basically makes you make a ten year plan and break the goals down again and again (10 year, 5 year, 1 year, 6 months, 3 months) goals and then weekly pages where you write your priorities for the week, habits you want to track and 3 ISH goals to accomplish that day. Makes you see how you’re using your time a little differently and keeps you on track not to be burnt out with the bigger picture everyday. Maybe something similar might help get you un-slumped?
Do you have a career in mind? Could you look at a masters degree (some extended masters have placement years which might help you get into industry)?
If you’re UK based Civil service might be a good route if you’re worried about your lack of work history as they have strict intake rules and if you get an interview can only judge what’s said at interview, theres a very specific way to apply and interview but there are a ton of YouTube videos and guides online.
Also, finesse your story for interview, if you have employment gaps you could say you were caregiving, medical issues etc. but you often don’t have to explain these. What projects have you worked on? Bring examples
There is no timeline for things and you’re not behind. Look at meetup groups in your area, see about linkedin networking groups, start going to a run club or group setting where you might meet new people. Chances are if your friends have got kids and stuff now they’re just as lonely but are now imprisoned by bedtime routines it’s not personal people just get caught up in their own shit.
I wish you the very best of luck!
Your story is very similar to mine. Just know you’re not alone.
Same situation 😭 im turning 32 and I never felt so pressured in my life like I feel right now. Imagine 31 and still living with your parents no job no income at all still asking my parents for my needs 😭 Im so ashamed of myself. Never ever I imagined myself im gonna end up like this. Bad decisions lead me to this + big part is my health esp my anxiety. Resigned in my previous job because it’s not only draining and affecting me physically, but also mentally but after I resigned I’ve been having a hard time finding a job. Now im jobless for 2 years already. I feel so lost LOSt. Where im at, it’s really hard to find a job opportunity cause it’s only limited youre lucky if you have connections. I want to try online but im not skilled enough and not so good at conversing in english. Everytime my anxiety is kickin and my depression is creepin I tell myself it’s okay I got you this too shall pass youre trying thats what important. im really trying hard to stay positive, I remind myself to be greatful and be thankful for the life im given. That we are here for a reason. Even if it’s so hard (worst part is that youre crying and keeping it to yourself) and keep thinking it’s not the end for me, that as long as alive and trying. So im sending you hugsss I know what you feel I hope we’ll get through this 🫂🥹
Why haven’t you worked ?
What’s your degree in? Do you not like that field ?