#mentalhealthawareness #bodydysmorphia #hairloss #depression #suicideprevention
Hi there,
I didn’t know what else to do but just pour myself out here. I’m a 27-year-old who’s spent the last 8 years of my life in a complete rut… late last year, I finally got out of it but since then I feel like everything has just gotten 100 times worse. Funny, I try to help myself but nothing goes my way.
I lived in an LEDC, similar to the UK, after finishing my A levels. I traveled with my parents for a wedding and when I came back, things were never the same. That trip, I remember feeling very anxious, missed some of the wedding festivities, and was very self-conscious about my appearance. I had this feeling that people were smirking at me every time they looked my way. That trip, my life changed forever.
## The Downward Spiral
When I came back home, I didn’t want to leave the house. From being the boy who was always out with friends, always had meals with his parents, always outgoing and trying new things, socializing and having fun, I just secluded myself, smoked weed from morning to evening and played video games. That’s all I did. I missed family meals days on end, I missed family holidays. I didn’t even go to university, yet both my older and younger siblings went to the best. A year later, this Angel from high school and I began talking, and we fell for each other… she adored me, and I her, but because of my mental state and lifestyle I couldn’t be the boyfriend I wanted to be and she deserved. I tried fighting out of what I was going through, but the pain was overwhelming, hidden by my addiction. I didn’t have the mental clarity or strength to get out of the situation I was in all because of an addiction. The time continued to fly by. I disappointed and upset this girl, yet she continued to give me chance after chance. I was ungrateful. I couldn’t think clearly. I was in a haze. Finally, after 4 years she let go, unwillingly. Perhaps for her own good. My lifestyle continued just the same. I was losing the best years of my life, and I didn’t do anything about it.
Importantly, I was losing my hair at the time, albeit slowly. Most people don’t realize that they’re losing their hair until a lot is gone, yet as soon as mine started, I realized and didn’t do anything about it. I went to a dermatologist. All she did was give me a growth stimulant without a diagnosis, nor a prognosis. Yet I was content. In hindsight, how stupid.
## The Wake-Up Call
My hair continued to thin very slowly every year. But I did nothing. Mid-last year, my dad was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer. And that was a big wake-up call for me. I decided to change from that day onwards. Both my parents traveled to London for treatment.
After stopping to smoke weed, all those suppressed thoughts feelings, emotions, and regrets came back all at once. And it is eating me up from the inside out. I had a severe back injury, I couldn’t move for a week being diagnosed with a spinal injury. After that, I started losing tons of hair. I was shedding so much. Freaked out, I went to a dermatologist. Who diagnosed me with Telogen Effluvium and Androgenic Alopecia. During this shedding period, I realized how much damage had been done to my hair already. I sought treatment yet have had no response. My hair just continues to thin.
## The Struggle Continues
I have lost my mobility due to my back injury just going for a drive, and my back hurts so much. I will never be the same again.
I lost the girl that would have done anything for me and now wants nothing to do with me. Yet it is all so fresh in my mind. Like it was yesterday.
I stopped smoking weed so I could seek help for my mental health, yet my anxiety and Body Dysmorphia are at its worst.
I have lost my father. He successfully had treatment, but he is a shadow of the man I knew. He barely talks. He just calls my name, yet doesn’t say anything. He is immobile, bedridden.
I am losing all my hair fast, and it is making me dangerously suicidal. Might seem shallow, but it’s obvious this stems from my Body Dysmorphia. Nevertheless, I am just a 27-year-old and I want my hair back, especially because I spent some of the best years of my life not living. Now when I finally want to, I am losing everything.
I want help for my mental health, yet the medication I’m being prescribed could potentially worsen my hair loss.
I’m up against four walls, being squeezed from each side.
## A Cry for Help
I am praying for a miracle, and it isn’t coming. I’ve never been one that always prayed. But I had a resounding amount of faith. Even when my brother doubted, I gave him a reason to believe. Now I am also losing my faith.
I don’t know what to do. I think about death every day. I think about killing myself every day. About how I would do it. I have more regrets than most elderly people yet my life hasn’t even begun.
I don’t know what to do. If this miracle I’m praying for doesn’t come soon, I’m scared that’ll be the end of me. I am not scared of death.
Don’t mind the essay, I just needed to get this out and maybe have someone listen.
## Live for Today
One thing I’m going to say to y’all. Live for today. Do everything you want to right now. Because time flies by and you lose your life as it slips right through your fingers. Don’t do what I did.
All the best to you, and remember, you are not alone in this struggle. There are always people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time. Reach out to loved ones, seek professional help, and hold on to hope. You are stronger than you realize, and there is a brighter tomorrow waiting for you.
Take care.
If you are in crisis or feeling suicidal, please seek help immediately. You can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or chat with a counselor online. Your life matters, and there is help available for you.
Don’t do it, homie.
Try a different medication.
Lots of chicks are into bald men & eyebrows can be tattooed on to look like real eyebrows.
Is there someone close by that you trust that you could talk to?
If you’re having suicidal thoughts, you need to go to your local hospital.
i’m sorry you’ve experienced everything you put down here. but 27 is still so young. people have lost far more at older ages and bounced back, it can always be worse. it sounds like there are mental health issues that need to be addressed beyond basic ‘it gets better’ advice. but like you said, you have to live for today. and you have to live with the choices you’ve already made and leave them in the past. you have to choose a new path today and stop thinking about yesterday. making a doctor’s appointment. exercise in a way possible for you. make small changes you can sustain, one day you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come if you take responsibility right now and try your best to change. it sounds so tough what you’re going through but ultimately you need to take care of yourself and sometimes that means pushing yourself to do things you need to do. after a very dark period, the only way is up.
Read the Corpus Hermetica so that you can free yourself from this matter and reach the light within the darkness. We are all on a journey of self reflection and separation from ego. You can message me and I will reveal secrets to you. I promise… it will be okay. The first step is getting across barriers of childhood trauma. We all must go through this process for it is the barrier between our false selves and our true light… I love you, brother. You are never alone. We are all in this journey together.
Hey man, I’ve read through your post and just wanted to comment.
So first I wanted to say I am sorry you are dealing with so much. A lot of people don’t realise the effect something like losing hair can have on you but it is a major hit to the way you view yourself and the way you look. Having something extra like this weighing on you makes it harder to deal with everything, pain – physical and emotional like you have with your back and your father’s cancer.
I dealt with a similar thing myself and in a way am still dealing with it. I had back pain for three years that is being fixed slowly that completely rerouted my life. I went from athletic and able bodied to basically sedentary with even walking becoming painful.
While that was going on I fell into a depression and tried to escape into games. I also became obsessed with my hair and the extra worry about losing my looks made everything even worse.
Luckily for you there is good news and I think we should list out some steps for you to take.
First you need to deal with your mental health. Open up to somebody you know and start looking for professional care. I’m not well versed enough to categorise you with anything but at the very least you have a lot you need to deal with. Body dysmorphia, your Dad’s treatment and current condition, what led you to dropping out socially in the first place.
This is going to be a really important step in getting better because if you are considering suicide and thinking about it as much as you say you aren’t mentally well. The road to recovery will start here. You deserve
Second is your hair. There are going to be two things I say here really, the first is that I stalked through your profile and the hair I could find didn’t look super diffused but assuming it is it can be halted by Finasteride or Dutasteride and regrown with Minoxidil. I’ve seen amazing stories on Tressless of people with significantly less hair than you seem to have regrowing a lot on it. A final option is a hair transplant which once your hair loss is stabalised can fix any significant areas of loss.
But also hair isn’t everything. If in the end that doesn’t work having hair isn’t the be all end all. I honestly suggest that you shave your head right now. It is scary but suddenly it opens the floodgates, you realise you’ve spent so long sitting on the edge worrying about it but you have so much control over it. Let it grow back if you want but it’s a great lesson. That’s what I did. I recommend having a look at Baldcafe to desensitise yourself to the idea.
Now for your back. What specific injury do you have? For mine I discovered that after a fall my glutes were inactive and my lower back was taking a lot of extra use which spread upwards and affected my shoulders and neck as well as lots of other stuff.
It took me multiple physios to discover that. You need to get multiple opinions. It is essential. I stupidly believed one who incorrectly diagnosed what was wrong with me and wasted over a year I could’ve been making progress towards recovery.
Start realistically looking at the injuries you’ve got and how they can be improved. Seek second opinions and third opinions. I have two posts on my profile you can look at. The comments on them helped me greatly and gave me an idea of where to go.
I want to touch on the regret you have with your previous relationship. Relationships are hard and sometime they don’t work out. You got to have one for four years. I always found that the person you are with seems like the most important in the world and there won’t be another like them but that isn’t true. Your brain always believes that until you meet another and suddenly it starts all over again.
Once you’ve gotten on top of your stuff you’ll have room to date again and by the sounds of it you aren’t an unattractive guy.
I’m sorry about what’s happened with your Dad. I hope his condition improves. I’m sure nothing would make him happier though than knowing that you are getting better. The fact you’ve made this post shows that you want things to change, and they can.
Take everything one step at a time. You won’t fix everything all at once and that’s ok. It is a process. You can get through this man.
Feel free to respond if you have any questions and I’ll answer as best I can.
My Guy focus on what you have
1. Age
2. Time
3. Eyesight
4. Intellect
5. Hands
6. Ability to breather
Etc? You see where I’m going with this
Everyone goes through problems don’t magnify it and patience is key.
Also gratitude
Prophet Muhammed peace onto him recommended us when ever we’re ungrateful to look at those who are less disadvantaged.
take it from a guy who’s been balding/receding since he was 16, I finally cut all my hair off a couple weeks back and I feel so much better. My confidence is off the charts and everyone’s giving me compliments like how it looks good on me. I can’t help you much with everything else but I just wanted to give you my two cents on that. Baby steps dude, change is always good, as long as you’re always moving and not stagnating ☺️
After reading your post I found many similarities in things I have gone through and am going through, that I just feel the need to tell you that you are not alone. I truly hope that can mean something to you. I don’t know who you are but I will be hoping you find happiness in life and not in death. There is so much in this world that you can enjoy and that can bring you happiness, please do not give up on that our lives are already so short. Also there are so many hot bald or balding ppl!! :3
Everyone one of us go through really dark times. We have all been there at least once. I am sorry to hear about your troubles but please don’t give up hope as things can turn around in your favour very quickly 🙏
Stay strong brother it’s all I can say, a lot of what you wrote I’ve been through myself mainly the loss of girlfriend, the devils lettuce, mental health and even the back injury…
Seek God or whichever belief system you have, understand we are mere specks of flesh on this earth, we are a sand grain on a beach our time is finite and our possibilities are endless. Take it from someone who’s tried to take their life before or atleast attempted to self harm in a way that left me with 12 stitches in my arm and a permanent scar on my arm- you will REGRET IT. Be the light in your own dark world, be your own best friend and love yourself as much as you deserve.
I train Brazilian jiu jitsu and it’s really helped me learn how to control my mind body and spirit, in that 6 minute round you’ll learn about yourself and how much you truly want to live with someone trying to choke you out… it’s more metaphorical than anything but you’ll understand if you give it a go (after your injury)
Learn, read, take up a sport, go on a holiday or a road trip, climb a massive mountain, jump out of a plane for charity, swim in the sea.. anything that will remind you of how amazing this earth is or even something risky which will remind you how much you value your life.
Read Marcus Aurelius Meditations and then re read it again after 6 months. Stay off the internet as much as you can and enjoy Mother Nature.
I’m 27 years old too so I can relate to you… You won’t see it just yet but trust me one day you’ll look back and be glad that you just kept swimming.
God bless you 👊🙏
Body Dysmorphia is a bitch. It’s silent and hidden too. Coming here took courage, which shows you still have it in you. Hope you get some serious help, bc this needs specialized treatment. I’ll tell you that people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think. It’s the same for everyone.
I’m not really great with advice but there’s a source I can recommend you and it might give you a perspective on something.
It’s a book called The Midnight Library. It’s only a couple hours read.
Please stay strong
Hey, I’m really sorry to hear that you’re struggling, and I really hope that things get better for you. I’m sorry that I can’t take your pain away, but maybe this website and book will help. The book really changed my perspective of life. It’s called “The Wheel of Life: The Law of Action and Reaction” by Kirpal Singh. There is a pdf of the book at the bottom of the page on this website: https://www.kirpalsingh-teachings.org/en/books-sant-kirpal-singh/the-wheel-of-life.html. No pressure though. Just wanted to share. Hang in there friend. 🙂❤️🙏
I hear from a psychological and an academic (Dr Grace Lordan) said that our 20s are supposed to be bad. I’ll pm the podcast now. https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/making-money/id1674547187?i=1000641667899
Exercise. It’ll fix all your problems trust me bro!
Okay hear me out. It’s not over till it’s over. That girl she was never meant to be anyways. The real one will show up when you least expect it. Relationship is responsibility and I don’t think that’s what you need right now
My goal is to work and retire in 10-15 years while investing in the stock market
Please find a goal and make it happen.
I dream everyday about waking up and not having to work. You can do it brother don’t let hair-loss
Affect you. One dream one goal everything else is just noise
I’m not a religious man but i read the stations of the cross for Easter and they really had a huge impact on my outlook. Just a suggestion.
I’m so sorry to hear all of that :/ I really hope you stay with us!!!
This bit of advice may not be similar to what other people post, but have you tried praying? Humans are body and soul, and you’ll never feel worth or fulfillment if you neglect one of those aspects. Idk, maybe you’ve neglected it for so long that it’s time to try and nurture it.
I don’t get your point. You talk a lot, but you’re not saying anything.
Talk to your doctor. Back pain is related to depression and anxiety. They might recommend an SSRI called Cymbalta and physiotherapy. They might also set you up with mental health work.
Weed can worsen depression so it’s good you stopped but withdrawal can make your depression worse. Excercise is a good way to keep it at bay. Physio will give you some core strengthening and glutes excercises. They really help with back pain and can help your eliminate it possibly. Get an excercise routine. Maybe get a dog and go for walks run with it every day. Along with doing physio and maybe cymbalta, you are going to be okay.
Medication for hair loss finasteride shouldn’t effect your mood that much. It might give you stomach aches or lower your sex drive. You can use modifinal and eat biotin as well to stimulte growth.
Meditation. I’m losing hair too and I know it hurts but I got over it. We all get over it. It actually makes less subconscious about yourself cause you stop thinking ab how you look
Your best days are still ahead of you.
I shaved my head at 30. It was thinning already at age 14. Loved my hair but hated my head for only letting g me enjoy it for 14yrs oh well
Please call 988. It is the national crisis/suicide line in America. Someone there will listen and will likely get you longer-term help.
“The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, across the United States. The Lifeline is comprised of a national network of over 200 local crisis centers, combining custom local care and resources with national standards and best practices.”
From [About – 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988lifeline.org)](https://988lifeline.org/about/)
If you are not in America, and after reading some of the comments I get the impression that you are not American, please find the crisis/suicide line in your country or area.
> Live for today. Do everything you want to right now. Because the time flies by and you lose your life as it slips right through your fingers.
This is true but a lot of your life is slipping through your fingers right now because you’re so hung up on hair loss. You’re letting baldness or potential baldness hold you back from living life to the fullest:
> Nevertheless I am just a 27 year old and I want my hair back especially because I spent some of the best years of my life not living. Now when I finally want to I am losing everything.
You may not realize it but you’re actually still stuck in that eight-year rut you began your post with. Baldness is not a fatal nor a crippling condition—there are people who are 27 years old with terminal cancer or in a wheelchair who are doing their best to live happy, productive lives within the constraints of their conditions. You have a condition that’s far less serious yet you’re suicidal. Something isn’t right/healthy and it’s not on the outside of your head. I hope you talk to a therapist because getting your mind right/healthy is way more important than the obsession that’s consuming you now.
Thinking of you.
Stop putting your identity in your hair. Stop placing your identity in the past. You’re young. You’ve got tomorrow ahead of you. Take one day at a time.
You are a child of God. You are loved.
Also, sidenote, bald men are hot 🔥
Wanna talk?
DM me, i think i can understand your pain.
Sometimes life feels hard for me too. But if you perish you’ll surely be missed
Dude 27 is so young. Please don’t do it. I’m 30 and I went through some low points in my life and I promise you things will get better. I know I’m a stranger but if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to dm me. You have your whole life ahead of you.