Wondering about the lack of sexual chemistry with your partner? Can a sex therapist help improve this issue? Find out how to ignite the spark and deepen your connection! 🔥💑 #sexualchemistry #sextherapy #relationshipadvice
What does it feel like when you and your partner click on everything except sexual chemistry?
Curious about the dynamic between you and your partner when everything seems to align except for that crucial spark?
Can a sex therapist improve that issue and how?
Discover how a sex therapist can help guide you and your partner towards rebuilding intimacy and desire in your relationship.
Well, as a sexual partner among other things, it’s a no… Except that I am in open relationships so I can manage to have different satisfactions with different persons. But in an exclusive thing this would be too much of an obstacle
Congrats! You found a friend. Imho, you either have sexual chemistry or you don’t. Maybe, possibly, some day in the future you can grind each other down to the lowest common denominator and have the subway (eat fresh) of sex. But…why? Find the person that is a spark from day one, and have sex with that person, while having excellent friends with everyone else.
Pretty lonely tbh.
My partner and i used to click very much sexually but something in him changed and he now prefers porn social media anything sexualized where he doesn’t have to interact with a person and he’s stopped initiating and showing any interest in our sex life and it’s not like anything’s really changed in my appearance or attitude towards him or sex.
worst of all he maintains that everything is fine and that him wanting to use porn vs sex is normal.
It’s fucking devastating is what this feels like
certainly doesn’t feel orgasmic does it?
I would imagine it feels very lonely. Seeking a sex therapist might actually be very helpful! There’s nothing wrong with attempting to make your sexual lives more compatible. You also can just talk about it directly about what it is the both of you are looking for sexually.
My question is if it’s possible to continue this relationship and get sex outside the relationship. If both partners recognize that they are a perfect match except for sex, it could work.
I just try and accept that every marriage has issues, there’s always something lacking, but we’re both safe and secure and we get along great and that’s something a lot of marriages lack. It’s not miserable. It’s just something to deal with.
It sucks and I’m trying to figure it out, personally. I’m afraid of breaking up because I don’t wanna lose her as a friend. We got some good memories too.
Like you have a friend without the benefits. Problem is that sexual compatibility in most relationships is very important and it’s one thing if it existed and has faded, then a therapist might help, but if it never existed in the first place, you may have a deeper problem.
Tight and dry.
It feels awesome, but you may want other partner(s) for sexy connections. If you are polyamorous, this is less of a lift. But if monogamous, you may want to “break up” and be “friends” (assuming your relationship models don’t allow for sex outside of the partnership.)
In my experience, it isn’t worth it to try to sexify a relationship when the sex isn’t joyous.
Similarly, if you were really into super complex board games, and they weren’t, you would have other people to play those games with. Maybe sometimes they would dabble and do it with you, but any time they aren’t into (or aren’t into it your way/with you) you would both be happier just doing your thing and coming together on the things you both get great joy from doing together.
All that said, sex is just one of the ways to connect and play with people, and the many others aren’t necessarily “easier” nor less valuable. If you love the many other things you have together, you should honor and recognize that. Don’t fall into the “shop around” trap. How you navigate and balance this is a negotiation and learning opportunity for you two. But the only wrong answer is really to not be true to yourself and your future self. IF you want to try to grow/change, and/or if your partner does, then a sex therapist could be a great coach in that. But don’t think for one second that you will achieve happiness by “faking it”. Rather, a sex therapist can help you navigate challenges of growth, and decisions that need to be made as you discover who you are, what you are willing to accept, and what you are not willing to accept. You aren’t going to, “fix” yourself or your partner. You will understand more, and you might evolve, but that evolution and understanding doesn’t mean you’ll land on great sex. Doesn’t mean you won’t either, just that that isn’t actually the outcome that enlightenment ensures.
It sucks. It’s awkward and even if you get along, after the deed things just get weird.
Genuinely sexually frustrating, pun intended.
If the relationship is worth it, yeah therapy can possibly help. If it’s like a new relationship, it probably just means they aren’t the right person. I can’t imagine a newish gf/bf wanting to go to therapy together already.
I would argue better then if you click sexually but nothing else. Depends on your age, eventually your sex drive will be gone naturally, but you never stop sharing your life with that person.
Ooooof… I mean, that’s tough. Sexual chemistry, in my mind, would be one of the things separating a relationship from a regular friendship. Most of the emotional support of a relationship can also be found in friendships, so… I guess it’s kinda like tying yourself to your bestie. Haha
The “why” is important. I’ve met two gay tops who were in a relationship together, but sex ended up being a lot of compromise… that eventually led to them being open and poly. They just couldn’t fulfill 100% of what the other needed, and they made peace with that—that they could still have a very loving marriage but not be EVERY thing the other needed
I’m ace and my partner is not.
We both make compromises. If you don’t, you’re failing your partner. One of the things I did was start an onlyfans. Weird choice, but by making it an “obligation ” like work, sex became harder to make excuses for. As an asexual person, I can enjoy sex, I just….. don’t have a sex drive. So I never want it. And that can put a lot of strain on a relationship. So I did what I could to help improve our intimacy in a way that works for us. We have been together for 10 years and we are very happy.
It just takes effort.
I dated a guy for about 6 months that was an awesome dude. I found him physically attractive, smart, kind, etc., but i just had zero sexual attraction towards him. I couldnt force it or fake it, although sadly i did try. Finally called it quits but are still good friends years later. I honestly still cant explain it or understand it myself.
So this is where I am. We have been together 11 years, but never the most sexually compatible. I am not unhappy, but he is going to therapy now and I’m told it’s not normal that we don’t have much of a sexual relationship. But honestly, it never seemed like something that was super important to either of us. I think it just depends on your relationship and what you’re comfortable with 🤷🏻♂️
its pretty awful tbh. we’ve been together 7 years and everything else is perfect. I would have married her by now but I’m at the point where I’m gonna genuinely never get to do several sexual things if I stay with her. so I basically have to choose to break up with her or just accept the compromise we have right now.
And sometimes it’s vice versa.
Sometimes you win some, and some times you dim sum .
It’s called a friendship
There is a hole within you and the relationship
I rarely have sex with my partner. I would have def worried about it when I was younger because society and media told me I should, but now Im in my 40s and sex compatibility is the last thing I’d look for in a life partner.
My partner has ED, and I was raped in my 30s. That experience sort of ruined the entire sexual enterprise for me. I honestly feel incredibly lucky to have found a partner at all given my reality. So does he.
It’s funny. We’ve had some friends that weirdly boast about their sex life, yet they notably never hold hands or do little touches and caresses. They fight loudly all the time. They name call. They fight, so they can have make up sex. Their entire relationship relies on a toxic cycle, and they are oblivious to it. The sex is satisfying, but the relationship itself is not. There’s no mutual respect or stability. Which is why all these relationships have all ended. Some were together 20 years, some only 2.
I see many people saying this is a friendship because there is no sex. I get that. But we do things friends don’t do.
Like your situation, he is my best friend. The connection was instant. We have incredible nonverbal communication. We’re very touchy. We snuggle every day, still, and we’ve been together for years. All those friends boasting about sex? They also never touched each other in a way that suggested they had intimacy. It was bizarre.
So try not to confuse sexual compatibility with intimacy. Many couples have sex. Very few have intimacy, and it’s sounds like you and your partner have off the charts intimacy, as in “Not only can I tolerate this person for a lifetime, but I couldn’t imagine memorizing my life without them.” Couples with that are rare, and they tend go the distance because they are so comfortable with each other (aka vulnerability).
Feels like being married.
Dealing with this too and it suuucks.
Then you’re friends
That’s literally the only difference between good friends and lovers – sex
My partner is Asexual, I am not. While it can be frustrating at times to know that your partner will never feel the level of sexual attraction at random to you, as you do to them, it’s ultimately worth it. I love them very much, and our sex life is fine, though. We both make compromises, and it’s working out well
Feels like a 24 years and going strong marriage.
My best friend and I…
Amazing
Also
Agonizing
Like a doomed relationship UNLESS you talk/do something about it.
Look at the dead bedroom forums. Don’t doom yourself from the start.
Sex is very important!
Like you made a new friend?