#BreakupAdvice #MovingOn #LettingGo
Dealing with a breakup is never easy, especially when you have to navigate the logistics of living arrangements with your ex. If you’re in a similar situation as the one described above, where your long-term girlfriend has broken up with you and now wants to stay in your shared apartment, it’s important to handle the situation with grace and maturity. Here are some tips on how to navigate this difficult situation:
Understanding your feelings đź’”
Before we dive into the practical aspects of asking your ex to leave, it’s important to acknowledge and process your emotions. It’s completely natural to feel hurt, confused, and even angry in this situation. Take the time to reflect on your feelings and give yourself the space to heal.
Communicate openly and respectfully 🗣️
Having a clear and respectful conversation with your ex about the living situation is crucial. Express how their presence in the shared apartment is impacting your emotional well-being and ask for their understanding. It’s important to communicate your needs without resorting to hostility or confrontation.
Seek support from friends and family 🤝
During this challenging time, lean on your support network for emotional support and guidance. Surround yourself with friends and family who can offer a listening ear and provide valuable advice. Sometimes, having an outside perspective can help you navigate the situation more effectively.
Set boundaries and timelines ⏰
When asking your ex to leave the shared apartment, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and timelines. Communicate your expectations regarding their move-out process and discuss a reasonable timeframe for them to find alternative living arrangements.
Incentivize the move-out process đźŹ
To incentivize your ex-partner to move out without hostility, consider offering support in the form of finding a new place, helping with the move, or even providing financial assistance if feasible. This approach can make the transition smoother and minimize potential tension.
Drawing inspiration from Bhagavad Gita 🕉️
In times of emotional turmoil, seeking wisdom from spiritual teachings can offer solace and clarity. The Bhagavad Gita emphasizes the importance of detachment from the fruits of one’s actions and the acceptance of inevitable change. Applying these principles can help you approach the situation with a sense of detachment and acceptance.
Ultimately, navigating a breakup and living arrangements with an ex requires patience, empathy, and clear communication. While it may be challenging, prioritizing your emotional well-being and approaching the situation with maturity can facilitate a smoother transition for both parties. Remember that healing takes time, and it’s important to be kind to yourself as you navigate through this difficult period.
Sometimes people gamble and lose. It is not your responsibility to save them. While you did do the right thing asking her to leave. The problem is she has the legal rights to live in the apartment especiallyif she is payingbher portion of the rent. If you have explained to her that being around is preventing you from moving on then one of you will need to move out.
Yes it’s immature on her part. Maybe try to find somewhere else to live and talk to your landlord to see if they can let you off the lease early. Since she signed the lease she has a right to stay but if you were to go somewhere else she can’t follow.
It sounds more of a legal question. She is on the lease. You should have taken her off the lease the moment she left and then when she was living with someone else. Was she giving you rent money at that time as well?
She’s on the lease and paying rent? I don’t think you have much choice.
You’re gonna have to take the low road. Tell her your body shrieks in disgust at the sight of her and you wish she would have never came back, more mean things, etc…
Or.. You take the high road.
You move out.
You could start giving her the cold shoulder, bringing girls over, & don’t let her sleep in your bed. When the pain hits, she’ll leave. You have every right to your bed since she left the apartment already and she can’t expect you to let her sleep with you.
Who cares about hostility. She literally was cheating on you before she broke up with you. She doesn’t care about you or love you. You were just the backup plan.
See if the landlord will let you off the lease and keep her on. Then you move elsewhere and don’t tell her where. Or annoy the fuck out of her, play music while she’s trying to sleep, don’t say a single word to her, ignore her. Don’t get food for her or do anything for her. Find a tinder date to bring back and fuck. Make her as uncomfortable as you can. Stop caring bc she didn’t care about you when she had some other guy’s dick all up in her kidneys while still in a relationship with you
Some people have some serious balls. Imagine having the audacity to try this and thinking you’re not an absolute POS for it.
You’ve got to bail, if you got the money to buy out of the lease do so, if not just jump it, it may hurt your credit, but it’s going to be much less of a pain than what’s going to happen to your psyche if you stay around this succubus.
Keep her as FWB while you find a real gf
See if the landlord will let you off the lease, or will let you sublease/relet. If not, call me petty but I’d take every single opportunity to make her as uncomfortable as possible. Bring tinder dates home and to your bedroom. Live it up. If she doesn’t care about you, then you might as well stop considering her.
If I were you, I’d just be honest at that point. Like, I’d just tell her that having to be around her is just.. really bad for your mental health. Maybe she’ll be the bigger person and leave.
Start bringing dates home. That’ll stir things up pretty well!
You just say please leave, you’re not welcome back.. simple and plain…
If she refuses to then it looks like you be spending time, money and effort to evict her if she’s not on your lease. If she is, the. You’ll have to wait it out until renewal comes around…
I’m sorry you are having to go through this.
When you entered a lease together, you entered into a financial relationship that is independent of your personal relationship. First you have to make sure you know what you want and what you are willing to pay for it. If you want to live without her , your options are to to move out while still paying your portion of the lease or buy her out. ( subsidize her move ). All this depends on your local laws and how your landlord is willing to treat the situation.
The best course of action would be to have an heart to heart with someone you have a 5 year relationship with. Let the hurt out, help her understand what living together is doing to you and see if you both can come up with a mutually workable solution.
Unfortunately you both created this limbo and it’s obvious that you need to be the one to end it by moving out.
You also mention that you’re still friendly with her but how can you be? Even a surface friendship needs trust and she’s proven herself to be completely untrustworthy. Not only your relationship, but now your living situation has been severely affected by her selfish actions.
You need to leave this situation as soon as financially possible. Good luck!
It’s uncomfortable yes, but it’s either you or her to break the lease.
I understand she left due to her cheating on you, and you guys broke up, but there’s that lease thing. People broke up all the time even during the most inconvenient time. So no, I don’t think she’s immature for breaking up with you with no plan. She seems like she’s a cheater (it sounds like it from your info) but not necessarily ‘immature’–maybe that’s not the correct term.
If you want her to leave despite still having that lease… you may have to end up paying some $$ to incentivize her leaving and more effort. Talking to the landlord with her, maybe put some $$ into her breaking the lease…OR…you can tell her that you’ll pay the full rent from, say, February, so she doesn’t have to break lease and pay up but you just need her gone and get herself a new apartment.
She might be trying to stay in hopes you get back with her .
Bro kick her out. Take her clothes and put it outside. Tell her to bounce. She cheated on you and it didn’t work out at all so she now wants to come back to you by all means necessary.
WTF?! Are you damn serious? She runs off with another man briefly, then that doesnt work out, so she just returns?!!
Freakin hell… kick her out. Are you a doormat? Stand up for yourself mate. That is NOT on.
Crikey!
First, with a “if you don’t leave, I’ll call the police”
And second, if she refuses, with calling the police.
Don’t be or stay friends with her. Find a way to get out, even if you have to formally break the lease. Your mental health will suffer if you don’t. You can’t heal being around her all of the time. Try to gray rock her until you have an escape plan. No more intimate conversations and don’t let her see you cry again, be strong move on.
Just start dating again and forget about her. Don’t bother with her. Just think of her as someone you share rent with.
First, video document all your belongings. Consult a lawyer. Start having girls over, video her losing her mind and attacking someone. Problem solved.
i wouldn’t be on friendly terms , you gotta ask yourself if being on friendly terms is respectful to yourself.
You’re still in friendly terms? Sounds like shit show to me and the only reason she’s back is because the other guy didn’t work out, so it’s back to old reliable. I would get her off your lease and out of that apartment. If you’re not together any more will she bring guys in to bang? How’s that going to make you feel?