#GoldenHandcuffs #CareerChange #MentalHealthStruggles
Hey there, friends! 🌟 Let’s talk about those golden handcuffs and how to break free from them. I know it’s not easy when you’re in a privileged but mentally exhausting position. Here’s some advice and ideas to consider:
– Explore part-time or flexible work options in the legal field to ease your workload 🕰️
– Look into refinancing your mortgage to lower the monthly payments 💸
– Consider downsizing your living arrangement to reduce financial stress 🏡
– Create a detailed budget and savings plan to make a big overpayment on your mortgage 💰
Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your mental health and well-being. You deserve to feel fulfilled and happy in your career. Keep exploring your options and don’t lose hope! 🌈 #YouGotThis #BreakFreeFromGoldenHandcuffs
Firstly, I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time at work, I can imagine it sucks.
In terms of financial changes you can make, it sounds like combined you can save a lot of money each month and that’s what I would prioritise now – save as much as you can for a while to build up a big cushion you can use. Then, I think it’s about first thinking about what it is you would be happy doing instead of law and starting to see what you have to do to get there.
From personal experience when I left my old job because I was unhappy I started doing freelance work to support myself until finding something else – maybe you can do the same (I’m sure a lot of people would benefit from your knowledge) which will help financially during the change in your life.
And make sure to prioritise your health and wellbeing. No point earning £100k+ if you hate your life and can’t enjoy it. But definitely think about whether you enjoy law before making a change, as it might just be that you need to make changes within the job rather than changing the job itself
What are you trying to move to? As a qualified lawyer there will options for more than a £28k salary. It might not be your dream job right away but it would be a stepping stone.
Try staying in the same career field but take a step back? work part time or just stop working out of hours and see what happens?
Otherwise some life decisions don’t make sense financially but that’s okay because sometimes you need to put your health and happiness first.
Can’t you just move in house to a more chill company?
What do you think you want to change to?
There aren’t very many careers that will pay you £120,000 that will let you have a life.
Do you hate the profession or the job?
Being a lawyer in London is very different to being a lawyer almost anywhere else.
You could consider moving to a cheaper area (reducing mortgage), with a better quality of life and going into law there. Maybe even for a charity, non-profit, uni or something.
Is it the job you hate or the company? If you like the work then I’d look to see if there’s a sideways movement to a company with a better work life balance.
You could try consulting or an in house legal position.
If you hate law consulting would be better but the market is tough.
You could do company secretary work as well.
The only obvious approach I can think is, live on as little costs as you possibly can for now and put every possible penny away
Max out your employer pension contribution to build up a pot while you are on the big bucks and out of the salary you still take home – and pay tax upon – maximise your pension overpayments
As soon as you are back in positive equity then start looking for another job at as high a level as you can find. if you’ve built up your pension pot as far as you could you can then afford to take a break from pension contributions at the new job, which, given it’ll be at 20% tax rate, doesnt benefit you as much to make big pension payments anyway
How did the property get down valued? What led to this?
I understand your predicament. The negative equity thing is scary. Like someone else said, perhaps take baby steps and change company/hours before leaving the industry completely before starting from scratch.
A lot of people not understanding law in these comments. Chances are you can’t just set better boundaries or work more efficiently because it’s the nature of the work and the firm’s culture driving the antisocial hours.
Without knowing what area you specialise in, is there an option to move inhouse, or to a regulator? Will be a big salary hit but in most regulators you’ll get a decent work-life balance. Inhouse will be better too and not such a gigantic salary hit.
Move to insurance, still very much an employees market and legal background will put you in good stead. Plenty of burnt out lawyers end up there. Pretty reasonable work/life balance and also way more interesting than you’d think.
Going from £120k a year, I don’t see you ever having to ‘start from the bottom again’ working in the legal sector. Surely such a huge salary denotes a highly skilled/senior position. You should easily walk into £60k+ I’d imagine.
Also, yes, I’d consider downsizing. I understand you might not want to, or don’t want the hassle, but needs must. People tend to live in houses that are affordable for their salary, if you take a pay cut you’ll have to live somewhere that reflects that.
As others have said, you might need to change your mentality. Life flows. If you’re burnt out and not enjoying life, what’s the point in living that life? Change to a more comfortable job and downsize. Enjoy life again.
It sounds like you need to explore more options for moving to different firms, whether that’s law firms with a different culture, or in house at a commercial company or even in the public sector, rather than rushing to get out of law. In house, esp public sector is known for wanting fewer hours. And even in London there are firms that don’t have quite such long hours whilst still being well respected and paying well – I know a couple of women from school and uni, now with school age kids, who have found jobs with those, boutique firms rather than golden/silver circle /biglaw
You can probably get more than £28000 doing HR, Conveyancing, Health and Safety, or proposition role and may be able to squeeze a 9-5 leave your work at work job. Tough to say based on the financials seem here. Also a bit rude of your partner to not want to lose your wage which looks like it might be propping theirs up
About 15 years ago I worked for a solicitors as an IT guy, I was always shocked at how many hours some of the solicitors worked.
I have you tried looking for a legal role within a big corporation? For example, in a tech company?
Could you not extend your mortgage term ? It will cost you more interest but will reduce your monthly payments.
Your partner should be more supportive, ultimately it’s not his decision if you stay in a job or not, your mental and physical wellbeing should always take priority.
Are you really in negative equity? The property is now worth less than your mortgage? Or just worth less than you paid for it, eroding your deposit?
Your partner is correct that you cannot afford to drop to £28K with a £3000pcm mortgage payment. That’s unrealistic. However, you should not be bullied into staying in a job that makes you unwell. If he doesn’t want to sell, but cannot afford to stay without your salary, then he doesn’t get to insist you remain in your job. You’d both need to accept that there’s a relationship at risk here if you cannot both compromise in some way. Neither of you can afford your ideal scenario without the other person.
Do you pool your finances, or do you have a different agreement. If you’re only recently on £120K then can you save the extra pay towards building a career change – or life change – fund?
Meanwhile, how can you push back on expectations and hours – do you have a mentor who’s been through this? Occupational health? Are you taking all your holiday time regularly?
Sounds like you’re not working one very well-paid job, but two kindoff mediocre jobs with the hours you are making.
Get a new mediocre job in your profession to keep yourself in the loop and work a small second job for finances. I guess you’ll work less that way and it gives you maneuverability.
Remember guys, a high paying job is only really high paying when the hours aren’t actually 2 jobs.
If you spend most of your waking hours in a job that you loath, it doesn’t matter how nice a house you’re in or your salary. You only get one life, and you have no idea how short it might actually be.
Personally, I would downsize, move to a cheaper area and get a job where you can build a life that you love around. If your husband can’t support your happiness over your earning potential, that’s a massive red flag.
£120k/year in London is probably £80k/year in the rest of the UK but with less expenses. I would look at moving. Do they have branches outside London?
I know what it feels like to be stuck in a job like this and I’m sorry you’re going through it.
With your qualifications and experience, there are lots of roles where you wouldn’t start at 28k, so let’s be positive!
You can do a small course in a different field, that along with your transferable skills you’d be a great asset. Maybe project management, business analyst? (Plenty more).
With that high salary, it’s an opportunity to make a shit lot of money and dip. it is rare for myself to know anyone on that amount so you’re right, saving will help. If you can handle one more year, do a years saving a challenge and then a separate mortgage saving account – put the money in high gaining interest accounts (money box is very high right now on the 32 day savings).
Then with that money you’ll have some for future plans and a mortgage saving to pay monthly instalments. During this time it would be good to downsize on your outgoings – I’m not sure what you do but maybe less takeaway, nights out, no holidays in the year, opting for cycling to work) just some suggestions but ultimately reduce outgoing costs that you can.
Also and finally, your role and company… can you find another job within the company? Do they support changing Worthing the company
I was in a similar situation before. I felt the anxiety coming back reading your post. Hope the below helps.
1. You are stuck on the treadmill so cannot see a way out. You need time off to fully see the bigger picture. Could be a week could be a month but book time off now. Law might not be the issue it is likely the environment you are in.
2. You will not make £30k moving. To be on £120k I’m assuming MC or desirable firm. Put some feelers out there I know people in similar positions who still make very close to £100k (when you factor tax/pension tinny difference to what’s in your bank account in payday)
3. Sell the property if it’s causing this much stress after you work through the above.
4. Personally I would save every penny you can gives you the power to a) when you remortgage take less and just use savings to reduce the loan size or b) gives you more flexibility if you want to sell. a) will depend on the LTV band – can make quite a difference to repayments.
This will be a blip on the radar in a few years time, you are not trapped and it will get better.
What kind of law do you practice? There are a whole bunch of associated industries adjacent to law where you definitely wouldn’t be starting from the bottom – e.g. you’re a corporate finance lawyer? Go into banking. You’re an insurance lawyer? Go into broking or underwriting. You’re an environmental lawyer? Go into advisory. They won’t be treating you like a grad.
If you’re a qualified lawyer, surely you have better options than you think you do. Can you not change employer and take a small reduction in pay? I know
Not advice on a career change.. but can you do something to relieve the pressure of the mortgage for a short time? Let’s you take the income hit. I.e. £3000 on £460,000 makes me think you’ve got room to increase the repayment term to reduce the monthly payments. Could even be worth using a banks website or comparison sight to see if it’s any better than your new offer.
Looking at those figures do you not have a fairly short mortgage? Or is it just an incredibly high interest rate?
Could you increase the term for when you renew and therefore lower the payment, making the paycut easier? You could always overpay if you end up in a better position than you expect.
Just to say…if there’s something you’re truly passionate about…then you’re lucky. Not many of us have that, at least for something they can make a career out of. If that thing is the 28k job, then go for it. Your partner should support you, rather than tell you compromises about lifestyle can’t be made, which I’m sure they can.