#SpendingHabits #ImpulseBuying #FinancialWellness
Hey there! I had a bit of a wake-up call recently and realized I might be passing down some not-so-great spending habits to my little one. So, I’m on a mission: I want to kick my impulse buying to the curb and teach my child how to be a saver instead. 😊
Here’s the deal: I come from a background where finances aren’t too stressful, and I’ve been doing alright for myself. But I have this pesky habit of grabbing a coffee or a snack any time I step out. Whether it’s a quick stop at Starbucks or a random purchase on Amazon, if I think I might need something—even just a tiny bit—I’m snagging it. ☕️🍩
With my wife being unwell lately, I’ve been spending a lot of quality time with my almost 3-year-old. Our outings usually kick off with a trip to get a drink or snack, which is becoming a bit routine now. While fruit and milk are healthy choices, doing this every time isn’t sustainable!
So, how do I change my spending behavior? Here’s what I’ve thought of so far:
- Pack Snacks: Instead of stopping at a café, I can prep some breakfast or snacks at home—think yogurt or fruits. 🍓
- Mindset Shift: I need to figure out why I reach for these little treats. Am I bored? Rewarding myself? Understanding this can help me make a change.
- Set Ground Rules: Maybe have specific days or occasions where we treat ourselves, instead of it being an everyday thing.
- Track My Spending: Keeping a journal of my daily purchases might help turning my spending awareness into savings consciousness. 📒
It’s clear that this is not just about saving money, but also about instilling the right values in my child. The impulse to buy often stems from deeper feelings—like stress or simply the thrill of shopping.🔍
What do you think? Have you ever struggled with similar spending habits? What tips do you have for creating a healthier financial mindset? Let’s hear your experiences and ideas! 💬
Do the week ahead plan.
If it’s not in the budget a week ahead it’s not in the current budget.
You want a treat of coffee, plan it a week ahead, know that the Friday after a long project you get to spoil yourself that little bit. If you plan for a couple smaller snacks from the dollar store you can stay within budget but still get what you’re wanting.
This is going to sound dumb but you build habits by building habits. Now that I have plenty of money to spend on Starbucks, I still can’t, because I spent years telling myself “we have coffee at home” or something similar.
Change the background of your phone to “we have coffee at home”. Leave your cards at home when you go out. Put a sign on your door that says “take coffee. We don’t buy coffee”.
Eventually you won’t buy coffee because you’re no longer a person that does that.
First off, abandon the Starbucks and mall routine for juice boxes at the park.
There are alternatives to expensive habits.
Also, thin out any clutter and resist replacing it. The less stuff laying around, the less need to supplant it, more specifically, less need for the kid to replicate it. Celebrate saving for that big needed thing, or talk of the pride of affording… college or trade school, without loan.
out of sight, out of mind
a substantial amount of my paychecks are money I don’t even see in my bank account: couple thousands into traditional 401k, couple thousands into after-tax 401k for mega backdoor, couple hundreds into HSA… you get the idea
then I create my budget with what’s leftover
Pack everything in a cooler that you’ll need for the day and avoid retail-centric places like malls. Stick to parks, museums, etc.
I ran into the same issue as you when my first was a baby and had to get it under control for her sake. It’s not that we can’t afford it, it’s that if we want our kids to be able to have what we have and more, they need to think like we do. They are too little to understand, so we just avoid the places that cause that problem.
That being said, screw Target for putting a Starbucks and a snack bar by the front door.
Start building new habits. We like the occasional Starbucks, too, but now we buy the Starbucks cold brew and creamer from Costco. We fill up our tumblers before we head out. Same with snacks. We buy them from Costco or whatever we have in the fridge. For items not individually packed, I prefer buying the cheaper ziplocks from the dollar store so I don’t feel as bad tossing them after (fill them with fruits, chips, etc). I only prefer glass tupperwares and we don’t have any small (plastic) ones at home. I’ve had a glass tupperware fall on my foot in the car once. It’s been dollar store ziplocks since.
It’s hard building new habits and gauging “trends.” My husband used to love going to 7-11. For example, he’d buy hot pockets on days he doesn’t pack a lunch at $2+ each. I buy it in bulk and it just sits there. It used to drive me nuts lol but after 17.5 years, we’ve finally gotten it down.
Best of luck! You and your kiddo have much room to grow, promise.
The truth is that we need spenders in the world. The economy runs on people spending money. If we were all savers a lot of us would be out of jobs. So there’s a balance. My general rule of thumb is first save.
(In no particular order)
Save for retirement.
Save for a new car.
Save for your home.
Save for birthday/holiday presents.
Save for an emergency.
Save for family trips, vacations, and entertainment.
Once you’ve saved and paid your bills, spend the rest. Experiences over material things. Material things should be bought carefully.
Whenever you get the urge to spend, take that same amount of money & transfer it into an account (whether you get the coffee or not).
See what that account looks like after a few months.
If you cut the high calorie/sugary drinks out of your routine, possibly 40$/ week? Put that in a compound interest calculator over 17 at years @ 7 % growth, and see how much of your kids college would be paid for. That gives me a bit of guilt when I spend money on junk.
If you have a bad Amazon habit (I did for a while) one way to help break it or at least make your Amazon spending more considered is to set an ‘Amazon Day’ for yourself. You can put stuff on the cart any time but Wednesday or whatever day you decide on is the only day you can actually buy. I found that half or more of the stuff I put in the cart I didn’t want anymore. Or I might want it sometime but I didn’t need it just yet.
Cut my Amazon spending down a lot.
I’m also more of a spender. Things that have helped me curb my spending:
Building a weekly routine with food and drinks:
-We have a monthly grocery and eating out budget that we are trying to stick to. I plan out what meals I’d like to make for the week, and see how much the groceries will cost. I break this down weekly or bi-weekly.
-We agreed that we will only do dinner out once a week. So we decide when and where spontaneously, but it’s technically already been budgeted. My husband goes out for lunch with coworkers 2-3x a week which I don’t mind cause it’s literally the only thing he spends money on.
-Cooking is a priority, and we have a pretty routine meal plan because we have the week/two weeks planned out. Even on the weekends we kinda pick from a couple options that we like (e.g. French toast, waffles, yogurt bowls, omelettes, sweet potato hash, etc.) We also have a coffee maker, waffle maker, blender, instant pot, air fryer, and food processor. I don’t like to leave my kitchen appliances unused.
Another issue: Immediately buying every little thing I think I need/would be useful to have: I used to do this out of convenience but it also made it very difficult for me and my husband when birthdays and holidays came around because we already had everything we wanted/needed. Whenever I get an urge to buy something, I have a mental checklist I review:
-“Is this a need or a want?” If it’s a need, is it actually something I/the household needs right now (like a pantry staple, or allergy pills), or can it be added to next month’s shopping/household/grocery budget?
-“Is this a replacement for something we really need?” I find myself wanting to constantly restock– skincare, snack foods, items that get old/overused or destroyed (we have a puppy) and I’ve gotten a lot better about delaying the purchase of things that fall into this category. Sometimes I decide to buy the item fairly quickly but most times I add the item to whatever list it belongs to (grocery, shopping, etc) and then decide to add it to the next month’s budget
-“is this something my husband could surprise me with as a gift on a birthday or holiday?” Usually the “wants” fall into this category. My impulse spending has gone down a lot because I tell myself that I’ll probably get it later. That’s usually not true, but it quells the urge to buy in the moment.
-“Is there a discount/cash back opportunity on one of my CCs?” Honestly, this one has been HUGE for me personally in reducing my spending. When I decide that yes, I do want to buy XYZ, I’ll then go into my CC offers and see if there’s a deal for it that I can enroll in. I usually just lose interest in the item at that point bc of the work involved. It’s also been really helpful in building a more frugal mindset. There are always deals for PetSmart and Petco so I’ve been seeing cost-savings when buying food, toys, etc for our dogs.
i need to work on this myself. ive been an impulse buyer since i lost both of my parents and i think that has something to do with it. my mind set is “why save money to just sit on a pile of cash when im old and cant do much? why not spend it now and enjoy my life before its over and not be sitting in bed old one day feeling like i missed out on life because I wanted to be frugal and sit on all my money like a dragon on his hoard of gold? you dont take money with you when you die but the experiences you have in life can never be taken away from you”. for example ill decide one day i wanna get a new dirt bike when i already have 2 of them and it takes a week max from the time I think about it till the time i buy it from the dealership. it becomes my every second thought and all it takes is a couple youtube videos telling me how great of a bike it is and im in the dealership asap putting a deposit down on it without sleeping on it or putting too much thought into it. what if i get into a car crash and die tomorrow and never get to ride this bike? most people will spend months if not a year planning a purchase like this but for me once something gets in my head i cant be stopped.
I’m a frugal person, when I became a parent I just made a rule for myself and kids that we don’t impulse buy snacks when out. Period. We take snacks or have them in the car. It was frugality-motivated but also teaches planning ahead, paying attention to actual hunger cues, and (moreso when kids are older) it saves a lot of time and arguments, and, of course money. I also am a firm believer that the skill of feeding yourself at home, rather than always just buying snacks or food when you are out, is an important, learned, skill.
Now sure, we would go out for ice cream or fast food or whatever. I’m talking outings, pool, park, walk, playdate, whatever. Wherever that was allowed (so not the movies for example).
Besides from making a philosophical change, an easy way for you to change your habit is to make a rule for yourself that you are only going to use cash for this stuff. And have a limited amount per week whether it’s in a separate part of your wallet or whatever (this is a variation of the super simple cash/envelope budget method). When your child gets older this is a nice visible way to help teach spending and budgeting (“you want ice cream, let’s see, oh there’s only $3 left in our snack envelope for the week”).
All that said, parenting is hard and the fact that you bought a coffee as a treat for yourself while sitting there, well, parents (and kids) need and like treats. It can’t be all deprivation. You could take a special coffee when you’re heading somewhere boring and special travel snacks if your kids miss their Starbucks fruit. Or special containers…they are so easy to please when little take advantage!!