#RelationshipAdvice #Forgiveness #SecretRecipe #FamilyHistory
Have you ever been in a situation where your partner did something that hurt you deeply? If so, you’re not alone. Many people experience similar struggles in their relationships. In this article, we’ll discuss what to do when your partner throws away something meaningful, like your grandma’s secret recipe, and how to move forward from it.
**Understanding Your Feelings**
The first step in moving past this situation is to acknowledge and understand your feelings. It’s completely normal to feel upset and hurt when something that holds sentimental value to you is carelessly thrown away. Take the time to sit with your emotions and process them before deciding on your next steps.
**Open Communication**
Once you’ve had the chance to process your feelings, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Approach the conversation calmly and try to express how their actions have affected you. Be clear about why the recipe book was so important to you, and try to understand your partner’s perspective as well.
**Seeking Forgiveness**
Forgiveness is a crucial part of moving on from a situation like this. It’s not easy, but holding onto anger and resentment will only continue to hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what your partner did was okay, but it’s a way for you to release the negative feelings and move forward in your relationship.
**Finding a Resolution**
It’s important to find a resolution that works for both you and your partner. This might involve setting boundaries and establishing a mutual understanding of each other’s personal belongings. It’s essential to ensure that both partners feel respected and valued in the relationship.
**Bhagavad Gita’s Wisdom**
In the Bhagavad Gita, it is mentioned, “Forgiveness is better than anger.” This timeless wisdom can guide us in navigating difficult situations in our relationships. The Bhagavad Gita teaches us the importance of forgiveness and compassion, which can be incredibly healing in times of conflict.
**Conclusion**
While it’s understandable that you’re feeling upset and hurt by your partner’s actions, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner, seek forgiveness, and try to find a resolution that works for both of you. Remember, forgiveness is a powerful tool that can heal wounds and strengthen your relationship.
In the end, learning to forgive and move forward will not only benefit your relationship with your partner but also your own emotional well-being. Remember, holding onto anger and resentment only hurts you in the long run.
Wishing you the best of luck in navigating this challenging situation. If you have any more questions or need further advice, feel free to reach out. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey!
She randomly threw away one page from an entire book of recipes because she thought it was… wrong?
What?
Is she a cooking instructor? An expert in that particular dish? Was the dish named something offensive or include, like, sauteed panda? Her explanation makes no sense and she hasn’t apologized for throwing out something that wasn’t hers, which is objectively wrong.
I’m not sure you should get past it until you get more information from her. Her explanation is really weak.
Um why couldn’t she just leave it there, even if it were “wrong”? I’m not totally buying that explanation. But regardless, if I had unwittingly threw something away that meant that much to my husband, I would be mortified, totally remorseful and trying to do whatever I could to replace or find another recipe. Her reaction is telling.
She’s lying.
The recipe was “wrong”? What an odd thing to say!
And then why throw it away? There must be something more to this story.
Do you have a history of missing/damaged stuff after a fight/disagreement with your partner?
Seems like she’s punishing you or something.
She’s definitely lying about this. She probably didn’t like the recipe, as much as you do, and thought she’d get rid of it without you knowing. Why else would she just throw away the one page. Her excuse of it being wrong is very fishy.
Throw away the gf and when she asks why tell her it’s not a big deal, you’ll just find another gf online.
This was a deliberate, targeted act. Any normal person would check, but she just pushed ahead and disposed of it. The lack of apology shows she has no regrets about it. I’d find this very hard to forgive. You’re right to be so upset.
Why do you *want* to move past this?
Her answer is questionable at best. Seems far more likely she was jealous, or having feelings about your love for the recipe. Her being unapologetic is a big red flag. I’d be devasted if I did something like this accidentally.
I’m so sorry. A good therapist can help determine if this relationship truly serves your needs or not. You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
You don’t move past this. You dump her ass. I’m sure she’s a worse cook than your grandmother. Fuck her.
Bullshit she didn’t know. She’s jealous of your dead grandmother and/or that grandmother was a better cook.
Dump her. She’s cruel.
She threw away something that was dear to your heart.
If it was an accident, she’d be full of remorse, trying to put it right, comforting you, showering you with apologies.
Instead she said,
“she didn’t know the recipe book was from my grandma and assumed it was just some old notebook or whatever,
she didn’t care and said I could find another recipe online and that I’m overreacting.”
She thew it away on purpose OP.
There’s something not quite right with your partner.
Not gonna lie, I would absolutely dump her, immediately. I would be so devastated if someone did this to me. We need to be able to cherish precious memories of our loved ones who’ve passed and for her to do this is just cruel, and she is way too old to make excuses for her behavior. Grandmothers’ recipe books are something so so so special and irreplaceable. She isn’t a nice person. I’m so sorry
Yikes! I’d be furious if this happened. Is it possible that another relative has a copy of the recipe that she threw away? It won’t take the place of the one your grandma wrote out but the recipe will live on.
Your girlfriend’s lack of remorse and disregard of your feelings should be a real eye opener for you. I don’t know that I could stay with someone so callous.
This sounds really… strange? She left entire recipe book, except for that one page? Is it possible she accidently spilled something on that page, ruining it, and is trying to cover her tracks? It’s just weird to me because if she were trying to be spiteful, she would’ve tossed the entire book instead of admitting to tossing one page because it was “wrong”. It’s a flimsy, lame excuse. Has she done anything like this before?
I just imagined this happening to my grandma’s recipes and all I see is blood.
Sit down with her and tell her exactly this, what’s in this post.
“I’m having a hard time with something between us, and I need your help to resolve it. When you threw away my grandmother’s recipe, it broke my heart. I am having a hard time forgiving you, because I feel that you were dismissive of my hurt and disappointment. I understand it was not on purpose, but I expect an apology when I’m hurt by someone who cares about my feelings. Can you apologize to me, and recognize that I am hurt, even if you don’t think you would feel the same way in my position?”
That was deliberate.
I feel like this was a passive aggressive attempt to be crappy to you and feign ignorance so you didn’t dump her. Who takes one recipe out of an old book? Did she even make the dish that day? I call bs! She was mad at you for something and got back.
i believe in accidents… but this is just too strange? the book itself is a notebook on which your grandma wrote something down on her on handwriting? nobody throws anything like that away. Let alone a single page of it! did she rip the page or cut it? it is just too meticulous to be accidental and real. Something smells like a lie here
After three years she didn’t know that was your grandmas recipe book? I call BS. She knew and didn’t like it so she got rid of it.
Dump her
My Grammy just passed away on Saturday so obviously my grief is very fresh. If my husband did this (which I have her receipt book as well), and didn’t give me an actual solid reason? I would legitimately consider divorce. She is lying to you as to why and destroyed essentially an heirloom from your grandma. I would reconsider a lot
Edit: typo
Accidently packing the book in a donation box and sending off because she didn’t realize it was from your grandmother is more believable than taking out one specific recipe because she felt it was “wrong” Who does that?! She was being petty about something, and her dismissal of your feelings is a total red flag. I’ve gotten some amazing recipes online for italian gravy (or red sauce) but not a single one of them is my grandmother’s recipe. I’ve been searching for 25 years now.
I wouldn’t be able to move past this. I wouldn’t break up with someone over this, but I would be heartbroken for the rest of my life.
She’s lying. I think she got upset with you at some point in the past and ripped it out to spite you and now that tempers are cooled, she doesn’t want to take responsibility so she is coming up with something less vindictive. Except it’s ridiculous and makes no sense. PSA for folks with similar special books or documents: get copies made or transcriptions or (what I do since I’m lazy…) take pictures of each page. It would be ideal if the original could be kept and used, but having backups is the safest way to ensure it survives through the years.
maybe you can reconstruct the recipe by writing down what you remember, then talking to other family members
She threw it away because it was wrong? That means she threw it away because she decided to.
She has no respect for you. I’m sorry, OP
Who throws away other people’s stuff without consulting them??
Sounds like something a sadistic sociopath would do, but maybe I’ve read too many books
You need to figure out why she did this.
Her dismissing you is a manipulation. There’s more here.
Either she hates the recipe and wants to stop you from making it
Or
Someone has asked her for the recipe and she thought asking for forgiveness or permission was too much effort.
Either way, throw her in the bin. It wouldn’t be a big deal, after all…
Either she hated the recipe, or she wanted to hurt you.
Either way – it’s not good – and you should get to the bottom of this.