Struggling to move on from a past lover’s suicide? Wondering how to fully commit to your wife? Let’s explore some tips to help you navigate through this difficult situation.
#Grief #MovingOn #MarriageAdvice #SuicideLoss #Love #MentalHealthAwareness
### Reflect on Your Feelings
Understand Your Emotions
– Acknowledge your grief and pain
– Allow yourself to feel all emotions without judgment
Seek Professional Help
– Consider therapy or counseling
– Talk to a mental health professional for guidance
### Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Wife
Communicate Openly
– Share your thoughts and feelings with your wife
– Be honest about your struggles and concerns
Rebuild Trust
– Spend quality time together
– Show appreciation and affection towards your wife
### Focus on Self-Care
Take Care of Yourself
– Practice self-care activities
– Engage in hobbies or exercises to relieve stress
Set Boundaries
– Prioritize your mental well-being
– Learn to say no and create healthy boundaries
As you navigate through this challenging time, remember that healing takes time and effort. By seeking support and focusing on your well-being, you can gradually move forward and fully embrace your relationship with your wife. Stay strong, and remember that you are not alone on this journey.
I think you need to go to therapy to sort these feelings out in a safe space. Inviting your wife eventually to share what you’re feeling too down the track. This is obviously something you haven’t recovered from and you won’t if you don’t seek support
The way I like to think about things like this is that it’s like a broken bone that healed improperly. When you repressed those memories, it allowed you to function, but it wasn’t quite right.
Your best bet is trauma therapy, possibly EMDR, because you do need to process the trauma and grief.
How much does your wife know? I would say that obviously she should not be your only source of help for this, part of the reason to have a therapist is because normal people tend to have limits on how much trauma they can hear about without it seriously affecting them; therapists are trained to be able to hear that stuff daily.
I think talking to someone trained in grief and trauma might help. I’m sorry for your loss
Grief and love can coexist within the same heart.
Some things/losses in life will always be there. You have to learn to deal with it. And at the same time learn to leave enough space for a new love.
Acceptance is key.
So I dont have the same story but, i was with my first partner for 5 months and he was my first everything. We had a pretty nasty breakup, but we had messaged each other after the fact saying that we still love each other. He cheated on me even though he said he would never find someone like me and all that.
He died shortly after, it was ruled as a suicide. At the time, i was still having feelings for him and everything. When i found out about his death, i cried like ugly crying every day for like 2 months. No matter what i would do, i couldn’t get him out of my head.
I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s definitely harder to get over someone when they aren’t alive anymore, especially at such a young age. I definitely needed pretty intense therapy. I didn’t realize how he was affecting so much of my life. It took my about 5 years to finally get to a point that his impact on my life, including the suicide, no longer infected my everyday living.
I don’t think you can ever fully recover from something like that, because it’s not a regular break up. But definitely i would strongly recommend some intense therapy. Mostly because, at least for me, the affect that the whole situation had on me was so complex that i didn’t even know where to start.
You are guilt tripping over a note you didn’t read yourself. So ridiculous. What other schemes have you fallen for?
The police would have had a copy of the note if thats the case. Go request it.
I think journaling your emotions and how you feel is a good way to start. Choose a topic and just write. Dont think about what you’re writing just write and see what pops up, try to give your unconscious mind a voice and your repressed emotions will spill onto the page.
Accept the pain and move on
People get very preoccupied with fantasies of what could have been. I am sorry about what happened to your friend and that was very traumatic for you.
There are also clear signs that she had serious psychological problems and that this relationship would not have ended up working out even though you liked her.
What happened is a tragedy but she is gone and she was never even who you thought. It’s time to get free.
She’s not real. It’s a false memory you can shift and alter. If you keep doing that no one will ever live up to it.
You had one sexual encounter with a girl you had a crush on when you were a *teenager*.
I say this kindly…but the time to have moved past this was yesterday. She didn’t end her life because of you or over you – you don’t know if she was pregnant for a fact and you definitely don’t know if that pregnancy had anything to do with you, given you weren’t her only sexual partner at the time. Your friend had mental health issues and it’s likely the discovery that her boyfriend had been cheating drove her over the edge.
You definitely weren’t the main character in her story – this wasn’t a long relationship or a marriage and your grief seems disproportionate. I could say a lot of soft stuff here that will be infinitely nicer to hear but if you’re putting your marriage and family at risk over something that never was…I’m going to be blunt and tell you to deal with it through therapy and put it to rest.
1) therapy, a grief counselor
2) my thoughts on love.
I will never not love any of my exes. I truly loved them and I still love them. The version I love of some of them doesn’t exist anymore and probably never did, just a front in my head. I had idealized some of them. They aren’t real. One of those exes I currently hate adamantly, but I still love the version that I fell for.
The love I feel for my partner right now is not comparable to what I feel/felt for those exes. I love him with all of my being. That doesn’t make me unlove anyone else.
And those are my thoughts on love
Definitely you need to talk to a professional to be able to figure things out though for yourself and what path you’d need to take
You need therapy to work this out. Both for you and your marriage
Therapy, bro. Like you need someone completely detached from your life to help you sort this stuff out. At this point, if you decide to not get professional help to work through this trauma and be present for your wife, it’s on you if she leaves you.