#RelationshipAdvice #MamasBoy #BoyfriendIssues
As a 23-year-old woman, dealing with a boyfriend who is a mama’s boy can be challenging. It’s natural to want to feel like the number one priority in your partner’s life, but when his mother is constantly at the center of his attention, it can leave you feeling unimportant and frustrated. So, how do you get your 29-year-old boyfriend to stop being a mama’s boy? Let’s delve into a few tips and strategies to help navigate this tricky situation.
Understanding the Mama’s Boy Dynamic
Before diving into specific tactics for addressing this issue, it’s important to understand the dynamics at play when your boyfriend is a mama’s boy. This dynamic often stems from a close and nurturing relationship between a mother and son, which can lead to a strong attachment and dependency on the mother’s approval and support. While it’s heartwarming to see such a close bond, it can become problematic when it starts to impact your relationship with your boyfriend.
It’s essential to approach this issue with empathy and understanding. Your boyfriend’s reliance on his mother likely developed over many years, and it’s not something that can be changed overnight. With that in mind, let’s explore some strategies for addressing this challenge in a constructive manner.
Open Communication is Key
The first step in addressing your concerns about your boyfriend’s attachment to his mother is to have an open and honest conversation with him. Choose a time when both of you are relaxed and free from distractions, and express your feelings with empathy and understanding. Here’s how you can approach the conversation:
Express your Feelings: Share specific instances where you felt overshadowed by his mother and how it made you feel. Use “I” statements to convey your emotions without placing blame.
Listen to His Perspective: Give your boyfriend an opportunity to express his feelings about his relationship with his mother. Understanding his viewpoint is crucial for a constructive dialogue.
Find Common Ground: Seek to find common ground where both of you can work together to address the issue. Emphasize the importance of nurturing your own relationship while maintaining a respectful bond with his mother.
Setting Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries is essential in any relationship, and it becomes even more critical when dealing with a mama’s boy dynamic. Here are some practical steps for setting boundaries with your boyfriend:
Prioritize Your Relationship: Make it clear to your boyfriend that while you respect his relationship with his mother, your relationship deserves its own space and attention.
Communicate Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations regarding his involvement in making decisions and plans, especially when it pertains to your relationship.
Encourage Independence: Encourage your boyfriend to make decisions for himself rather than constantly seeking his mother’s approval. Empower him to be independent in his choices and actions.
Building a Supportive Network
Navigating a relationship with a mama’s boy can be challenging, and having a support system can be incredibly helpful. Consider reaching out to trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional for guidance and support. Having a supportive network can provide a sounding board for your emotions and offer valuable perspective on the situation.
Seeking Professional Help
If you find that the mama’s boy dynamic is causing significant strain in your relationship and affecting your emotional well-being, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. Couples therapy can provide a neutral and supportive environment to explore the dynamics at play and work towards a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with a boyfriend who is a mama’s boy can be a complex and emotionally challenging experience. It’s essential to approach the situation with empathy, open communication, and a commitment to establishing healthy boundaries. Remember that change takes time, and it’s a journey that requires patience and understanding. Ultimately, your goal is to foster a relationship that prioritizes both your needs and respects the bond your boyfriend shares with his mother.
Navigating the complexities of a mama’s boy dynamic is undoubtedly a journey filled with its ups and downs, but with the right approach and mindset, it is possible to create a more balanced and harmonious relationship where you feel valued and appreciated. It’s important to remember that you deserve to be a priority in your partner’s life, and with open communication and a willingness to work together, you can overcome the challenges posed by a mama’s boy dynamic and build a strong and enduring relationship.
You’re never going to replace your mother, and if what you said is true, then she is going out of her way to ensure that the throne remains secure.
Dating him means “living with” the mother. If that is too much, then move on.
You tell him “I’m tired of competing with your mother to see who can be a better girlfriend.”
And then you walk away.
Edit because some dumbasses refuse to use their brains: “walk away” in this situation means *from the relationship*. Breaking up with someone who enjoys their mother acting like a second girlfriend is not toxic, y’all just like throwing around buzzwords and trolling.
It’s a “can I change him” question.
This type of reasoning never works. You cannot change people.
You already expressed your concerns and he doesn’t seen much worried, so he won’t change because he dosen’t want to.
I’d be honest with him and tell him how you feel, lay it all out. With some solutions. If he ignores it, and doesn’t try to change little by little because tbh a man can’t change in a day.. then I’d just leave him. He has to try to make at least a little effort. Have you ever watched the show I love a mamas boy? Some men on there change and some never do. Have hope and remember you deserve to be happy.
He’s almost 30, if he hasn’t cut the umbilical cord yet he’s never gonna
INFO why are you reaching our to the mom of your nearly 30year old bf to ask for the size of his pants? This really confuses me
That is a 30 year old man still breastfeeding off his mommy. Do you want her to be your mother in law? Just cut it off
It’s called emotional incest and unfortunately, no it never ends. At 29 he’s accustomed to being coddled and his mom treats him like her bf/husband, instead of getting a life of her own – yuck. 🤢🤮
I tried dating the momma’s boy before and fast forward twenty years later and he’s still the same. So you have to decide if that’s something you can honestly deal with for the remainder of your relationship.
Honey.. he’s 29. This won’t stop. He’s likely been a momma’s boy his entire life. That’s why he’s still latched to her at this age.
My suggestion? Run, lol.
He is in a committed relationship with his mother. You better bet with the program cause it won’t change.
You can never change a mama’s boy. Don’t bother. It will get worse when you get married. So if you feel that you will enjoy competing with his mom, then go ahead. If not, either enjoy not having to spend money nurturing him or you can choose whether you want this guy for long term or short term.
His behaviour is unlikely to change.
I would say try having an open and honest conversation about your concerns but have clear goals in mind. What would you be ok with? What core non negotiable things does he need to change? Let him know his comments about his mother doing things better are hurtful and dismissive.
Ask him what he actually wants out of a partner and how he sees things going if he continues this reliance on his mother.
The likely result is he goes and cries to his mother about you. The best outcome is he reflects and you can move towards some improvement in your relationship dynamic.
But be prepared to walk away. If he is that involved with his mother and won’t work on it. Then it is going to get worse, particularly if you have kids and she is taking over.
Did you express to him how this makes you feel? Sometimes people can be oblivious to a situation because they have always lived with it or are just bad at reading social cues.
Have a serious talk with him, be explicit with how it makes you feel. Give him time to adapt and recognize things might slip and you may need to gently remind him. But if he does make an effort to change, work with him on it.
No, it never changes. That’s coming from someone who dated a Momma’s boy.
Leave now. If you have kids with this man he will want them to be raised by his mother and you’re never going to be enough
You don’t. You accept it or leave.
He’s 29??? You can’t unless he wants to?
You don’t. If you continue, your wedding planning will be filled with “well mom thinks…” and “well mom says…”. Any future kids will be the same. It’ll be two against one with any parenting decisions and why won’t you just listen to mom because she obviously knows what she’s doing since she raised me, her sweet, precious baby boy…and you love me, right? I mean, not as much as mommy does, but enough to get trapped in this marriage after ignoring every red flag I showed you. Which were all beautifully washed and pressed by my amazing mother, who does laundry and everything else better than you ever could.
Unless that’s what you want for the rest of your life, run far, far away. The emotional incest is strong with this one. You can never fix a mama’s boy.
This won’t stop. He is 29 now and has been “ruined” forever. I wouldn’t want to be with him for the simple reason that I’d never be able to escape his mom
How do you get this to change so you feel like you’re number 1 in his world?
You dump his mummy’s boy yesterday and find a man to date.
You’re never going to replace a “boy-mom”. They’re built different.
Ok. So he ain’t changing and mom isn’t either. So why in the name of heaven would you ask a mom what size jeans for your BF!? Like don’t you know. If not then you shouldn’t be a GF.
you should find another man . this one is a boy. a 29 mama boy
This sounds like a “sonsband” relationship between them and it’s definitely not healthy. He’s never going to change, so you need to decide if you can live with it. If not, leave for your own mental health. Im
You will never be “good enough “ for him because you aren’t his mama (he will never measure in all the great things you are and she isn’t). The more you keep trying, the more you will “fail” ( he’s failing here, not you), the shittier you will feel about yourself, the more he will get out of emotionally abusing you. And his mama is right there trying to make it worse!
This is only going to get worse. Please leave him before it does. If what this guy wants is his mama, he can keep her. You need to be appreciated for the wonderful person you are.
I married a momma’s boy. Don’t do it. I hold resentments and they eat me up. I don’t like his mother because of their relationship. Their relationship changed when FIL died. My husband’s mom relies on him for everything and he very rarely tells her no. He is admittedly a momma’s boy. Our life happens if she doesn’t want/need something. We plan dates, but if she calls and shows interest; he invites her. She’s not sick, she lives independently; but is emotionally dependent on her son. It does not change. It will not stop. You can attempt to talk about it with your boyfriend and his mother, which I recommend. However, it will not change because they enjoy what they have with each other. It can lead you to feel insecure- because you will be left out.
>how do I get this to change
You can’t. You either learn to live with it, or you leave.
It doesn’t stop. If anything it gets worse.
Dumping a mamas boy is easier than divorcing a mamas boy, and both are easier than changing a mamas boy.
You accept that you’re the side chick in his relationship with his mom, or you can leave him find the partner you deserve.
>Does this ever stop?
He’s 29. If it was going to stop, it already would have.