#SingleMom #Custody #GrandparentsRights #HealthyBoundaries
Hey everyone! I’ve got a tough situation on my hands and could really use your thoughts. So, my boyfriend moved out about a month ago after he had a serious mental health crisis. Since then, there’s been zero contact from him. Honestly, it’s been wild—he’s done some pretty erratic stuff, like trashing my car and quitting his job. 😞
I’m a single mom to a five-month-old daughter, and I’m doing my best to keep everything together—managing my car, job, and apartment all by myself. The tricky part? He hasn’t even asked to see our daughter. I tried reaching out because he went off the grid for a bit, but no luck. I want to emphasize that I’m a GOOD MOM, and my little one comes first, always! 💖
Now here’s where things get complicated. His mother has been making false reports to Child Protective Services (CPS), claiming I’m a bad parent. 😤 She’s saying ridiculous stuff like I leave out needles (I’m diabetic and keep my supplies locked away!) and that I’m an alcoholic (I don’t drink—he had some alcohol when he lived here). The real kicker? She’s threatening to take me to court for grandparents’ rights because I won’t let her see my daughter.
Adding to the stress, she lives in a messy situation with five breeding boxer dogs and her boyfriend has a criminal record. They don’t even have hot water! I haven’t gone after my ex for child support yet because I want to give him some time to deal with his mental health struggles, especially since I know he’s battling bipolar disorder.
I’m feeling stuck here. I can’t afford to file a restraining order against his mother, but I want to know how to legally protect myself and my daughter from these accusations and potential court issues. 🤷♀️
What do you all think? – Have any of you dealt with a similar situation? – What steps did you take to protect your rights as a mother? Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks for reading! 💕
You need to go to court for a solid custody arrangement. All documented issues with the ex and his mother.
I praise your empathy for his struggles but you need to put the kid first. Get all your ducks in a row and make everything court viewed and legal.
Advice from someone who lived in MA when we split up: you have full custody IN THE ABSENCE OF AN ORDER. That means it’s all up for discussion if he or his family file for a formal arrangement. You want to be first.
File at your local courthouse requesting physical and legal custody. You will not need an attorney to do so. Compile any and all documentation you have of all the very valid concerns you raise.
If CPS is closing these reports as unfounded, get documentation of that too. You DO have enough to get restraining orders for both him and his mom. Destruction of your property is abuse, so is repeated filing of false claims with CPS. Your best bet is to stop communicating with either of these people, and protect yourself and your child.
Finally, you are not “hitting” anyone with anything by requesting support. That is money due to your child, and as a mother, it’s your duty to get it. The court will determine a reasonable amount based on his financial situation, and will include his health issues in that finding.
Did you acknowledge him as the father? This is from the dad’s perspective
https://www.mass.gov/doc/paternity-guide-for-unmarried-parents/download
A lot of people threaten but few follow suit. If MIL files you’ll want a family law lawyer to guide you. Grandparents rights when recognized is mostly if your ex was out of the picture due to death/ prison etc you kept the child away from an existing strong relationship.
She can convince her son to establish his rights and see the child on his time. Depends on specifics what kind of rights he’d have.
Specifically regarding legal advice, as the victim of domestic violence (harassment and destruction of property are DV) you may find resources here:
[https://www.mad.uscourts.gov/resources/domestic-violence.htm](https://www.mad.uscourts.gov/resources/domestic-violence.htm)
[https://jeannegeigercrisiscenter.org/](https://jeannegeigercrisiscenter.org/)
Edit: These agencies exist to provide you with the tools to protect yourself and your family. You can speak to them anonymously or not anonymously without the intention to go to the police specifically to file charges. They can point you to legal counsel in the area who will be sympathetic to your needs, experiences, and circumstances.
Grandparents rights are rarely ever established unless there was a consistent relationship (one on one) with the child that was ended without consideration of the best interest of the child. The burden of proof to show such a relationship existed and that having court ordered time with the child will show drastic benefits to the child, it will go no where…
It’s beneficial to show proof (if you can) of her false claims about your parents, because this will show she is not working in a way keeping the child’s best interest in mind (i.e. falsely accusing the mother of things…)
“Mothers have automatic full custody here ” where ever you heard that, it is NOT true. You have custody until a custody agreement is made. Thinking you will get “automatic custody” is going to land you as a non-custodial parent. Go to the court house and FILE for custody immediately, you should get a temporary agreement pretty quickly, then Hire a lawyer !!
You currently have full custody, since I’m assuming he didn’t sign the paperwork?
If he decides to sign the paperwork, he will most likely not start off with 50/50 custody, but they will allow him to build up and eventually go 50/50 long as he is stable.
There is currently nothing stopping the father from claiming his rights. The moment you try and get child support, you will open that option for him