RelationshipAdvice #OvercomingInsecurities #PenisSizeInsecurities
Understanding the Context
Let’s start by understanding the scenario. You’ve been with your girlfriend for 8 months, and during this time, she mentioned that her ex’s penis was larger than yours. This statement was unsolicited and has since impacted your confidence and desire for intimacy. Let’s break down how to navigate this sensitive issue.
Why Her Comment Hurts
The Impact of Insecurities
In any relationship, unsolicited comparisons, especially about sensitive topics like physical attributes, can deeply affect one’s self-esteem. Knowing that your girlfriend has overshared sexual experiences before adds another layer to this issue.
- Emotional Impact: Getting compared to someone else, particularly in such an intimate aspect, can make anyone feel inadequate.
- Mental Imagery: As you mentioned, it’s tough to erase the mental images of your girlfriend with her ex, which further fuels the insecurity.
Taking the Right Steps to Get Over It
Communication is Key
The foundation of any healthy relationship is communication. Here’s how to approach it:
- Express Your Feelings: Openly communicate how her comments made you feel without blaming her. Use "I" statements to focus on your feelings.
- Set Boundaries: Reinforce the importance of not oversharing sexual experiences and ensure she understands why it affects you.
Understanding Her Perspective
It’s equally important to understand why she might have made that comment. She revealed that her past relationships trained her to be open about such matters.
- Empathy: Recognize that her past experiences with being compared might have influenced her behavior.
- Support: Help her understand that everyone carries some baggage, but it’s crucial not to let it impact the current relationship negatively.
Boosting Your Self-Esteem
Focus on Your Strengths
Building self-esteem can help mitigate the negative impact of her comment. Here are some strategies:
- Self-Affirmations: Regularly remind yourself of your positive attributes and achievements.
- Health and Fitness: Engaging in regular exercise can boost your confidence.
- Hobbies and Interests: Pursue activities that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment.
Building a Stronger Relationship
Intimacy Beyond Physical Attributes
Focus on other dimensions of intimacy that contribute to a healthy relationship:
- Emotional Intimacy: Spend quality time together engaging in activities that foster emotional closeness.
- Intellectual Intimacy: Engage in meaningful conversations and share your thoughts and ideas.
- Shared Experiences: Create new memories and experiences together, which can help reinforce your bond.
Moving Forward
Professional Help
If these feelings continue to trouble you, considering professional counseling is a viable option. A therapist can offer strategies to manage insecurities and improve communication.
Conclusion
It’s natural to feel shaken by such comments, but with clear communication, empathy, and self-improvement, you can overcome these feelings. Building a relationship where both partners understand and respect each other’s sensitivities is crucial. Remember, you are unique and valuable—own it!
Final Thoughts
Discussing sensitive topics requires tact and understanding. By setting boundaries and focusing on boosting your self-esteem, you can navigate through this challenge and strengthen your relationship. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if needed; your mental well-being is paramount. 💪💕
This is a her problem and not something you should have to tolerate. That fact that she is not understanding (or so you assume) the impact her words have on someone is a big concern. She needs to learn some empathy and sometimes this is someone that is not possible to learn.
It’s toast now dude. You won’t ever forget. Break up and let her know what this does to a relationship. She’s emasculated you.
You won’t ever forget dude. She messed up big.
Eww. You get over it by telling her to go back to her ex and his big penis. Hopefully she will grow up from this!
The only way to deal with it is to contact her ex and cross swords with him to get actual idea of she was lying or not.
Seriously? Thats not an excuse. If she is oversharing and offloading her baggage on you, she needs serious professional support. Yes OP, her actions/words are not only disrespectful but also toxic to your own mental health. You shouldnt be dragged down by this so early
Nah stay away from her. You’ve already had this talk with her and she didn’t change her behavior even though she knows it’s upsetting to you. Not worth your time or stress.
You don’t. I don’t know how you would. I’ve had guys tell me the previous girls were bigger chested and it never works out. It’s a self esteem killer. The person is blatantly disrespecting you. Leave now. I’m sorry they did that to you. Not all girls are like that I assure you.
The fact you don’t even ask is salt in the wound and the fact it’s repeatable behaviour after you’ve asked her to stop is a little red flag ish
Well sorry that would probably be a deal breaker for me. I would be like okay then we’re over, you can go back to him and his big dick.
Nah dude you are too young to be dealing with this. There are some things you simply don’t say, and saying “you’re smaller than my ex” is the equivalent to a man telling his gf “you’re fatter than my ex”. Her telling you this completely out of pocket is incredibly disrespectful.
>I love her and I want to salvage it
You’re not thinking clearly, my friend. If you tolerate this continued disrespect, she will only get more brazen as time goes on.
Bigger doesn’t mean better
She’s toxic, get out
Um bro, you put up a boundary and she played the victim card. Are you sure this is the person you want in your life?
Totally unnecessary, it’s the same as saying that you had tighter pussies. You aren’t good match, sorry.
New girlfriend.
So she’s saying that she’s been traumatised by previous partners and so has decided to traumatise you in a similar way? She needs to deal with how they made her feel in a way that doesn’t just dump the same problem on to you, to lower your self esteem in compensation for hers having been lowered.
Sounds as though she is quite uncouth and immature.
That mental image will stay with you for the duration.
Learn to make lemons from lemonade or walk away.
When I was in my 20s, I said some stupid stuff to others in front of my long term partner that would be deemed disrespectful to most people. Looking back, I didn’t love him as much as I thought I did. Now that I’m married to the love of my life, I would never speak about any man, and certainly not my ex, in a way that makes them seem better than my husband. It’s my job to make him feel on top of the world and support him. I don’t think you and she can come back from this, sorry.
Omg dump her
You’ve only been together 8 months. That may seem like a long time but it’s not. I think that if she’s openly talking about and comparing your penis to her ex boyfriend, that’s alarming. If she’s continuing to do so, even after you told her to stop, that’s a boundary issue and another red flag. It sounds like you should start coming to terms with the fact that she doesn’t respect you, and is actually openly disrespecting you to your face. Sounds like you need to break up
Ladies, don’t do this. We’ve all had partners who had better genitals/stamina/body etc, it’s so disrespectful and off putting to hear about it.
If she’s bringing this up completely unprompted, break up. No real reason to drop a “hey my ex got way wetter” comment when you’re watching a game or doing a puzzle together.
She doesn’t sound like a nice person and it won’t get better. Any normal person would know this would hurt a guy’s feelings. It’s not complicated. Don’t make it complicated. Go find someone who is nice, values your feelings and will make you happy.
>how do I get over it?
By moving on without her. You said she shared this unsolicited. That means she intended to hurt you or manipulate you. Either would be a deal-breaker for me.
I know you love her, but what she did was a shait move. She needs therapy. I wonder how would she react if you’d say: Okay, cool. So maybe go back to him, I guess? Like in totally nonchalant way. Totally unsolicited… I’m too petty for this shait. And if she would ask why you don’t want to have seggsy times with her I’d say: maybe because I don’t like to be compared to others, because that’s basically body shaming (not that size matters imo.)
You don’t. Just thinking that is already disrespectful, but saying that to you unprompted is beyond reparable. Leave her so she can run back to her ex she thinks so much about.
Go find a new partner with a tighter p%%%y and a smaller mouth. Then, be sure to tell your ex all about it.
It’s over now lil bro
Call him up. Compare. Have a beer. Become best friends. Ditch her.
This relationship has no future. Any woman who would say that to her partner is an inconsiderate, disrespectful c*nt who will absolutely hurt you again if you stay with her. She has no class, and should be left on the side of the road with the other trash.
Your young. Take care of you.
Not acceptable. Her insensitivity is forecasting more horrors later down the road. Act accordingly.
Plenty of other girls out there for you my friend that will treat you properly