How can I politely ask coworkers to use my full name instead of a nickname like Robert and Bob, Anthony and Tony?
My legal name is what I go by at work, but some coworkers keep using the shortened version without asking. It feels presumptuous and rude, as it’s not the name on my badge or any paperwork. How can I address this without coming across as rude, as I’ve been told in the past?
#ProfessionalEtiquette #WorkplaceCommunication #RespectfulRequests #NamePreference #PoliteCommunication
You’re not rude for doing that. You’re just asking everyone to use your preferred name at work.
“Please call me by the name on my badge: ___”
I worked with a couple people who hated the nickname thing too.
They would just politely say “I go by Thomas please” or “Please call me Pamela”. And when introducing themselves they added that to the introduction.
To say it’s rude is silly. They called you the wrong name and you’re correcting it.
My name is __. I don’t go by that name in the office.
99% of the world calls me Dave, but I was born David, One asshole at my last place insisted on David, I was like “I really don’t answer to that.” (in a joking / serious tone), He still kept it up as a way to needle me
I have the same problem. My name is 3 syllables but the nickname is 1 syllable and people will always shorten it without any pre-existing relationship or “do you mind if i call you-” and I find it really rude. Especially in emails, people who I have never met ignore my email address and signature and will change it.
That being said, I have never found a way to correct people without coming across like a massive bitch so I mainly just silently seethe.
I have the opposite problem. I prefer my nickname and it’s hard to get anyone to use it.
Just tell people, “Please call me Michael. That’s the name I go by.”
Once you’ve told them that a few times, you can feel comfortable in totally ignoring anyone who *forgets*. (I’ve never had people senior to me in an organization do this, for the record). They’ll learn to get on board.
The people who have tried — preemptively — to get to nickname status in an initial meeting were salespersons. That is the most annoying.
I once told my boss I hated a shortened version of my name because it was what a family member I had issues with liked to call me.
She insisted that she should call me it even more because then I would associate it with her instead… you know, as if that was somehow better.
It wasn’t until last year I finally spoke up and made a firm request to only be called by my legal name.
I left nicknames to only be for friends, family and those who hated me outside of work.
Best choice I ever made.
Speak up, be clear, and just let them know that’s your only name you go by at work and for them to respect that.
My advice is to not worry about it. Life’s too short to be offended by trivial matters. People call me by a shortened version of my name all the time and I don’t care. As long as my paychecks still cash I’m good.
You have the right to be called what you want.
You’re backwards for thinking it’s rude and presumptuous of people to abbreviate your name, though. Reminds me of an asshole professor I had who wouldn’t respond to you unless you called him Dr. Professor.
Just make the fries Dick and quit your bitching. Ah sorry…Robert
What if a colleague becomes a friend? Do they then get preferential treatment?
Just tell them with a smile on your face ! People always want to call me a nick I hate ! 🤮🤮🤮 they mean no harm, it’s habit
Keep reminding them. And if they keep up, ignore until they get it right. My former boss would call me by my last name which I hated- because two of us had the same common name (think Amanda or thereabouts) but she never called the other by her last name. I told her to stop, I don’t go by that, and to call me by my middle name if she were to use anything other than my first name. Instead she doubled down. I’d just ignore her until she called me the correct name.
Just repeat your full name when they say your nickname, nothing else. Or just live with it…
I don’t know how to do it professionally, my legal name is Thomas, I go by a nickname and don’t mind using either legal or nickname, but when people decide to call me Tom or Tommy I get really uncomfortable and frustrated. I’ve never introduced myself to you as Tom, I’ve never asked you to call me Tommy, who the fuck do you think you are? I AM!
Tell them ‘I prefer …’
People should ask, imo.
And our job is to not take a name so seriousl, or rely on it to feel professional.
Just from the other side, my blood brother’s name is Mike, my brother-in-laws preferred form is Michael.
It’s been nearly 20 years and my brain only lets me say Micheal to Michael maybe half the time. And I kick myself every time I get it wrong.
Some names are shortened so frequently it’s just collective mental habit. Mike and Michael is a bad example. That’s just my own dumb brain.
But, if your name is Maximilian, gfl. You’re Max.
Lighten up Francis
You just have to learn how to not take yourself too seriously. There’s nothing disrespectful in using your nickname. And there’s no good way of telling someone to stop.
If they say Bob, correct them immediately with Robert, then ask what they needed. Don’t make it a big deal. I guarantee they will start their sentence over with Robert instead of Bob and move on. People have to be trained. This is low stakes.
This is exactly why I changed my work name and badge to Quetzalcoatl
Chill out, Dick /jk
Well… I’d just say, “hey, Susan, it’s William actually. I don’t use a diminutive. Thanks! “
Respectfully setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Make sure you SIGN all internet-office emails etc as “William”. Make sure your zoom screen shows that too. It’s just a matter of gently—but constantly enforcing the boundary.
Is your name Richard by chance?
“Actually it’s Thomas” is all you should need as a correction.
You’re being ridiculous being offended by the culture you live in.
My name is Bonquavius and you shall refer to me as such
People suck. I’ve been dealing with this for a long time.
You do kinda sound rude, I’m afraid. I had a nickname that wasn’t even a shortened version in my past job. Welcome to office life! People are gonna call you what they call you and it generally is done out of affection. You already get called this name elsewhere so what’s the big problem? In other words, while I can understand the sentiment, the answer is deal with it I’m afraid.
I have a coworker like this. He also happened to have a super common name so we had like 3 people with the same name, all went by the nickname version. For the first few months he just politely said, “Oh I actually go by (insert full first name)”. Wasn’t rude, just consistent.
As someone with an ethnically sounding name that most people butcher, I reassure people that I appreciate it when asked how my name is pronounced, especially during introductions. People who are intelligent and care enough get it right and correct themselves. The ones who don’t, don’t matter enough for me to correct them more than once. If it matters to you, I’d suggest you say something like” Hey, I prefer being called xxx instead of my nickname”. It shows that this is important to you and will be remembered. Honestly, in most professional settings, feedback like that is welcome.
I wouldn’t ever correct it. I would instead regularly signal how to do it correctly.
Find ways to periodically mention your preferred name. “Hi I’m Robert.” “So I called IT back and they said ‘Robert, stop playing minesweeper all day.’” “We will meet this deadline or my name’s not Robert Smith.”
Life is too short, why do you care that much. If anything I’d take it as a compliment that they feel we’re close enough to call me by my nickname.
Anyway if it really bothers you just say so, but it’s a bit of a non issue imo
Like no offense but the whole funding it “rude that they assume they can use my nickname” just sounds arrogant. You’re not the queen sweety
Give a gentle but straightforward correction every time it’s used.
Bob can you do this?
Oh, it’s Robert, and yes I can.
Thanks Bob!
It’s Robert (smile), you’re welcome.
Hey Bob…. Bob… Bob…
Oh are you talking to me? I go by Robert – how can I help you.
And keep. doing. it. every. time.
Correcting people in a kind manner isn’t rude – names are very important and are a sign of respect. Anyone who insists on calling you the wrong name (and it’s not like a slip up) after they’re told is being disrespectful.