#NetworkingTips #CareerDevelopment #ProfessionalNetworking #SoftwareEngineer #CareerGrowth
How do people network without it feeling ‘robotic’ 🤖
As a software engineer taking leaps in my career, I understand the importance of networking. However, I often struggle with awkwardness in social settings, particularly at networking events. I find it challenging to initiate or maintain meaningful conversations, leading to feelings of discomfort and ineptitude.
If you can relate to my experience, then you’ll appreciate the following tips and strategies for networking without feeling ‘robotic’. Whether you’re a software engineer like myself, or pursuing a different professional path, these insights can help you navigate networking events with confidence and authenticity.
### Overcoming Social Awkwardness:
1. Embrace vulnerability: It’s okay to acknowledge your discomfort and set realistic expectations for social interactions.
2. Practice active listening: Focus on the other person’s words and body language to foster genuine connections.
3. Seek common ground: Look for shared interests or experiences to establish rapport and ease into conversations.
### Engaging Conversation Starters:
1. Discuss industry trends: Inquire about the latest developments in AI, machine learning, or C++ programming to showcase your knowledge and curiosity.
2. Share relevant experiences: Highlight a recent project or professional achievement to spark interest and demonstrate your expertise.
3. Seek advice or insights: Approach conversations with a mindset of learning from others and seeking their perspectives on career growth and industry challenges.
### Building Authentic Relationships:
1. Follow up with connections: Send personalized emails or LinkedIn messages to express gratitude for the conversation and suggest future collaboration.
2. Offer value: Share relevant articles, resources, or industry events with your network to position yourself as a helpful and engaged professional.
3. Attend industry-specific events: Look for conferences, meetups, or workshops focused on AI, machine learning, or C++ development to connect with like-minded professionals.
By incorporating these strategies into your networking approach, you can navigate social settings with greater ease and authenticity. Remember that networking is about building meaningful connections and fostering professional relationships, rather than conforming to rigid societal expectations. Embrace your unique personality and professional aspirations as you engage with others in your industry.
I hope these insights prove helpful as you navigate networking events and pursue your career goals. Remember, you’re not alone in feeling awkward or unsure at times, and the journey of personal and professional growth is a continuous learning process. Best of luck in your networking endeavors, and may you find confidence and fulfillment in building your offline network. 🌟
You’re feeling robotic because you’re trying to follow a pre-determined script which is coming from place of insecurity.
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Ask follow up questions based on the answers. Be curious. Be ready to ask questions beyond work. This is a reason why well-adjusted people tend to have hobbies outside of work/tech… If you need help – go seek coaching.
I wish I had an answer. I don’t even know how to make a regular friend, let alone make a friend that somehow benefits me professionally. I have such a slim grasp on what’s going on I’m not even sure I understand what networking is. It was my main goal when I went to Black Hat two years ago and the closest I got to networking was adding three speakers I didn’t even have a conversation with on LinkedIn.
Furry conventions and alcohol.
Ask about their hobbies or why they’re in the field and go from there
By having social skills.
Find some hobbies. Create stories from those hobbies to socialize. Once you actually socialize, you can start inputing in things such as jobs, referrals, and anything of that nature.
Sports is an easy one. Watching and playing. Plenty of people love sports and plenty to talk about in sports. Also things like F1 racing can be a pretty popular topic.
Hiking or camping. Things to talk about: Places you’ve camped, trails you hiked, camping gear, and such.
Wine tasting. Maybe don’t be an alcoholic. But I find that a lot of people tend to gravitate towards the person who knows a lot about wine and wineries. Especially younger engineers. A lot of winery owners have amazing stories to tell, by being able to retell those stories and give suggestions on where to visit or what to try is a good way to get some communication going.
Eating at restaurants. (Foodie) Most people love food. Great topic to start a discussion. “Have any of you tried the new Korean Hot Pot place on Main Street?”
Ask/answer a question (depending on who is starting the conversation), appropriate response, follow up (another question? Funny comment? Etc), keep going.
You get into a pattern of relating the conversation to you and then immediately follow it with drawing the attention back to the other person so they can talk about themselves and give you the chance to do another round of “praise, relate, further”.
Best advice I can give is to find someone good at it and really watch and listen to them network with a few people; while you’re observing really look for the conversational patterns. Eventually practice leads to finding your rhythm and getting better at it.
Make a simple goal like: meet 5 people and remember their names.
You would benefit from looking into various socialization classes/books.
Networking isn’t necessarily just about learning what the other person does and exchanging information. It’s about making friends and acquaintances that can mentor you, inform you of job openings, etc.
You’ll have better results approaching the situation as if you’re trying to make a friend, rather than trying to get someone to network with, I think.
I feel ya. I was just at an event at sonoma raceway last month, for fun, but still barely felt like I could talk to anyone without it being forced and robotic on both sides. I camped and saw other campers talking and all that, from different states according to the license plates, but when I try and join in they seem to have no interest in talking to me. I get talking to people about common interests but when you’re at an event for that and you still cant…
I suck at networking as well, and the only advice I’ve got is try networking functions where you’re doing something. For example, a driving range let’s you focus on hitting golf balls and you can get in a rhythm of talking to your fellow players about the game or activity.
Once you’ve got a bit of a rapport, it’s easier to slip in a “Hey, so what do you do? That sounds pretty cool.. ,<insert relevant conversation about work>.”
The best advice I can give you is to try and make a connection beyond ‘how can you help me.’ I mean that’s the point of networking, to meet people and create mutually beneficial relationships career wise. However, getting to know someone even on a semi friendly level helps immensely.
Start off by asking what they do outside of work and tech. If it’s a hobby you have in common then talk at length. If it’s something you have no idea about, then ask them to explain it.
Find something in common
Ask for their perspective on current trends, like “How do you think AI will affect C++ IDE’s?” Then ask expanding questions based on their prior response.
networking is about consistency and social skills. the social skills can upped when you realize if you’re always approaching people then it’s also really easy to leave a conversation. you bounce around keeping your interactions short and about stuff you can/want to do with people who can put you in those positions to do it.
> When I actually know what I’m doing and/or already know most people present (work meetings etc) I’m perfectly fine. But at networking events I’ll be in a corner like a scared feral cat
Honestly, sounds like you’re simply thinking about networking all wrong. I can’t do that either, yet I consider my network pretty solid.
Instead of going to “networking events”, go to technical meetups or other events where you automatically have common interests or things to chat about. And ideally go with someone you know so you’re not a garden gnome in the corner.
> I’m sure, as much as I want it to exist, there’s no rulebook or roadmap to blindly follow, but I’d love some generally useful topics to have in my back pocket when a professional conversation starts bleeding out. I
there definitely is, and a lot of them go back to the old book How to Win Friends and Influence People. It’s a little old and out of date in the same way that Sun Tzu is old military advice and may not have wisdom for how to deal with machine guns, but it covers a lot of the basics.
Standard Sales Engineering stuff: Talk about FORD — Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams (as in goals, things they want to do). Get them going about a hobby or work thing and then work to some commonality.
Avoid RAPE — Religion, Abortion, Politics, Extreme / Edgy topics. Once you start to know people you can begin edging into this, but only after getting to know them. Never assume anything is a given, even if someone is bitching about a politician or meme that may not mean they’re for or against.
What is your goal? Just to network for the sake of networking? The best networking tool for software developers is a repo on GitHub.
You have to get out of your own head and out of your own way, you’re paying far too much attention to yourself and not enough attention, or as another commenter said, curiosity, on the people you’re talking to!
What are you interested that is not software engineering? Try to find commonalities!
And if learning how to ask questions seems too much, put something like this on your phone and try to use some on people.
[100 Questions to Get a Conversation Going!](https://www.mural.co/blog/icebreaker-questions)
Nothing gets conversations going like questions, so open yourself up to the people around you and remember a lot of them are ALSO feeling awkward, you haven’t got the market cornered, trust me.
It’s okay to be awkward, as long as you’re being respectful, kind, and curious!
Contribute to an open source project!
Many larger open source projects have communities of SWE. It may be more helpful for you as these interactions are largely online.
Why do people have such a hard time talking to people? Literally ask what they like to do, what was there first job, how did they determine this is what they wanted to do etc. talking doesn’t have to be a script