#RelationshipTips #CommunicationSkills #ResolvingConflicts
Have you ever experienced a situation with your significant other that seemed difficult to navigate at the time, but looking back, you realize it actually helped strengthen your relationship? In this article, we’ll discuss some personal experiences and tips on how to resolve difficulties with your partner in a more straightforward manner.
## The Importance of Communication
One of the key factors in resolving conflicts with your significant other is effective communication. Here are some tips to improve communication in your relationship:
1. **Active Listening:** Make sure you are truly listening to your partner and not just waiting for your turn to speak.
2. **Use “I” Statements:** Instead of placing blame, focus on how you feel using statements like “I feel” rather than “You always”
3. **Set Aside Time to Talk:** Make sure you have dedicated time to discuss issues without distractions.
## Learning from Past Experiences
Reflecting on past experiences can also provide valuable insights on how to better handle future conflicts. Here are some personal stories from individuals who found that certain experiences made it easier to resolve difficulties with their significant others:
1. **Traveling Together:** One couple found that traveling together helped them navigate new and unfamiliar situations, which in turn strengthened their ability to work through problems in their relationship.
2. **Attending Therapy:** Another individual shared how attending couples therapy allowed them to practice more open and honest communication, making it easier to address issues as they arose.
## Taking a Step Back
Sometimes, simply taking a step back and reassessing the situation can make it easier to find a resolution. Here are some strategies to consider:
1. **Give Each Other Space:** Sometimes, giving each other space to cool off can prevent arguments from escalating.
2. **Seek Outside Help:** Whether it’s therapy or seeking advice from a trusted friend, sometimes an outside perspective can provide new insights on how to resolve conflicts.
## Moving Forward Together
Ultimately, the goal of resolving difficulties with your significant other is to move forward together in a positive and healthy manner. Here are some final tips to keep in mind:
1. **Focus on Solutions:** Instead of dwelling on the problem, focus on finding concrete solutions that work for both of you.
2. **Practice Patience:** Resolving conflicts can take time, so be patient with yourself and your partner as you work through issues.
In conclusion, resolving difficulties with your significant other is a normal part of any relationship. By improving communication, learning from past experiences, taking a step back when needed, and moving forward together, you can strengthen your relationship and navigate conflicts more effectively. Remember, it’s all about working together as a team to find solutions that benefit both parties.
So next time you find yourself facing challenges with your SO, remember to communicate openly, learn from past experiences, and approach the situation with a positive and solution-focused mindset. Your relationship will thank you for it! 💕
A huge fight, followed by a brief space made us both understand that we are irreplaceable to each other. Upto that point it was very unhealthy because there were huge differences in the way we fight. He would get defensive and shut down & want to cut contact, whereas I would chase and want to resolve things immediately. I started to do things differently at one critical point and put my foot down in a way that he had to choose to stay or leave and I’m glad I was assertive when I needed to be. Feed them some of their own medicine in a way. The good ones understand we aren’t to be messed around with and appreciate it. From then on, I began to understand his pov. It’s not their words, its almost always their actions that tell you everything you need to know.
There have been times where I’ve just walked away from an argument. It doesnt feel good but I know now to let my partner know I’m walking away because XYZ and advise them that I want to collect my thoughts before revisiting the contention. I don’t want to do or say something I may regret.
I think it’s also important to show love in little ways even when you’re going through a difficult patch with your SO. I certainly need reminders that we can be mad at each other but still love each other at the end of the day.
Things were *significantly* easier when we both decided to have a period of sobriety.
My God, it was night and day.
OP here. I should’ve added: the experience doesn’t have to have been with your SO, it could’ve been a completely separate experience with other people or on your own, but it taught you lessons on how to resolve conflict better with your SO.
That it should be you and your SO against the problem together and not fighting against each other regarding the problem. It’s not a matter of who “wins” or is “right” it’s a matter that “I don’t like when X happens for Y reason, what can be done to help me feel better about this situation”. Also bringing it up before it gets too big of a issue that it becomes a problem.
We seem to have started a system when we say “I’m not being annoying, but…” which means, *”I’m not having a go at you, but this is starting to get on my nerves, so before it becomes a problem can…”*
My SO’s definition of tidy is to a higher standard to me, I could get defensive that there’s a pile of clothes in the bathroom that is soley mine, or I could try to become better at having less clothes at once that are in the “too dirty to be put back in the drawer, too clean to be washed” pile. He has an issue with the pile, so to stop it becoming a huge problem between the two of us, I just try to keep it to a smaller pile. It doesn’t matter to me that I’m fine with a bigger pile than he is, the fact of the matter is, it does annoy him if it gets too big, he says “pile” and that’s all that’s needed to be said for me to know it’s gotten too big for him.
We had the hardest year of our entire marriage and nearly split until I realised that you just can’t control another person, even if you’re married to them. You just have to let them do them and then decide if you want to be with that person.
We had an argument because he often thought I was mad at him and not saying why. I wasn’t mad at him at all, just in a bad mood because of work / issues with friends / health. I couldn’t control my tone of voice and yes I did sound mad. Explaining that I’m mad at the world helps a lot.
breaking up for 2/3 days. made us realise how important we are to each other and how much we were willing to change our lives to accommodate each other
Having a kid and applying positive parenting principles to our relationship as well.
Our communication was already pretty great but being more aware of our own emotions, needs and wants as well as being more respectful of the other side’s, were a life changer.
Acknowledging that we are allowed to be disappointed when things don’t go as we want (while still taking the responsibility for our reactions) as well as making emotions non-negotiable (as in other person cannot dictate how we should feel in reaction to their behaviour) were liberating.
The experience of going to couples therapy together is helping.
Honestly, polyamory. My partner and I were always monogamish, but didn’t really commit to seeking out other partners until we had been together for almost 8 years. In seeing other people, I’ve gotten so much more respect for my partner and all that we’ve been through together. I also realize more and more how much love we have and how well we work as a team. Sometimes I notice a bit of the opposite, where a new partner has a better way of doing XYZ that I hadn’t considered before. These also become amazing growth opportunities because I can share my new knowledge from one partner to my existing relationships.
We’re now living more authentically and have done a lot of research into relationships and emotional healing. I think what a lot of folks don’t realize about polyamory is that it takes mostly self-work. We aren’t immune to jealousy, we simply recognize that jealousy is born from one’s insecurities and healing insecurity is an introverted process. Being polyamorous involves studying attachment styles, communication skills, and emotional intelligence. Through polyamory I have realized many of my own problem areas and have started the work on healing my inner child.
Working through those things together with my partner has made us immeasurably stronger and more secure. Our fights are more productive and our communication is easier and more supportive. I don’t know where we would be if we had not started doing all of this work, and I don’t think we would have done the work if not for opening up to other romantic relationships.
Couples therapy. We’d made a lot of progress in our communication skills over the years on our own, but there was one hurdle we weren’t overcoming… he always thought my problems were insignificant and unworthy of concern, “just get over it”. He’s a firefighter so everything he deals with at work is big problems, and comparatively mine are pretty small. But they’re still problems to me.
Well just one therapy session made a lot of headway for us with that last major hurdle. The therapist’s metaphor was to say everyone is the main character in their own movie, the people around them are supporting characters, and we navigate being in multiple movies at once. His movie is often full of action and big scenes, and as a supporting character I’m there to back him up in the ways he needs and expects to make his movie successful – strong capable woman who makes him feel manly and reassured. My movie is much different, more office gal in a rom com, not so action-packed, but he’s still the main romantic interest who we expect to have our back. Sometimes he needs to take off his “main character” hat and be the supporting character we need and expect in my movie, even if it’s not as exciting, so that my movie is successful too.
Somehow that perspective got through to him, and I finally felt seen and heard.
Not so much an experience, but when we both started to learn more about each other’s baggage/trauma from childhood, we started to approach conflicts differently. It really helped to be able to be like “this is a learned behavior that you developed to cope with this specific problem that you’re now applying to a completely different situation that makes you feel similarly”.
It helps us approach one another with more compassion and care.
Therapy.
The experience and fact that everyone has some good and bad qualities. If today their bad qualities are overplaying, remember they have a lot many good qualities too. Simply abandoning them cz of a few bad things will ruin your happy memories together. If the bad quality is bearable and in their nature, you cannot do anything but accept it.