#RelationshipAdvice #BoyfriendHair #CommunicationTips
So, you’re in a bit of a hairy situation with your boyfriend’s dreadlocks. It can be tough when something that initially drew you to your partner starts to become a source of concern. But fear not, we’re here to help you navigate this delicate issue with grace and compassion. Here’s how you can approach the topic of his hair in a way that’s respectful and loving:
### Understanding His Perspective
Before diving into the conversation about his hair, it’s important to try to see things from his point of view. His dreadlocks might hold a significant meaning for him, serving as a symbol of self-acceptance and personal growth. By acknowledging and respecting the significance of his hair to him, you can approach the conversation with empathy.
### Initiate a Gentle Conversation
Bringing up a sensitive topic like this requires tact and sensitivity. Find a quiet, private moment to express your thoughts and feelings to him. Use “I” statements to convey your emotions without placing blame. For example, you could say something like, “I’ve noticed changes in your hair that concern me, and I care about your well-being.”
### Offer Your Support
Show your boyfriend that you’re willing to support him in whatever decision he makes regarding his hair. Offer to help him find a stylist who can give him guidance on maintaining his dreadlocks or suggest alternative hairstyles that he might find appealing. Let him know that you’re there to support him, no matter what choice he makes.
### Emphasize the Importance of Self-Care
Frame the conversation around the importance of self-care and self-love. Mention how taking care of oneself, both physically and emotionally, is essential for overall well-being. Encourage him to prioritize his health and happiness, which includes addressing any concerns about his hair.
### Consistency is Key
If you’ve already spoken to your boyfriend about his hair but haven’t seen any changes, it’s important to address the issue once again. Consistency in communication is key in any relationship. Express your concerns and feelings in a calm and non-confrontational manner, emphasizing the impact his hair has on you and your relationship.
### Bhagavad Gita Wisdom
In the Bhagavad Gita, there’s a powerful teaching on the importance of fulfilling one’s duties without attachment to the outcomes. Applying this wisdom to your situation, focus on communicating your feelings and concerns without becoming attached to how your boyfriend responds. Trust that by speaking your truth with love and compassion, the best outcome will manifest.
### Conclusion
Ultimately, the key to addressing your boyfriend’s hair situation lies in open and honest communication, coupled with empathy and understanding. By approaching the topic with love and respect, you can create a supportive environment for your boyfriend to make decisions that align with his well-being. Remember, relationships are about growth and mutual support, so approach this conversation with an open heart and a willingness to listen. Good luck! 💇♂️🌟
“Babe, I care about you and want you to be happy. I feel awkward bringing this up but the thing is, your hair situation is driving me low key bananas. It’s getting to the point that I’m distracted by it and I’m losing attraction. If you’re going to do dreads, let’s do them right. If not, let’s clean this up. As it is, it just looks horrible and you’re damaging your hair.”
Just tell him you’re making him an appointment. Making the appointment and making a day of it. Get lunch, go shopping, grab him some new shirts maybe some pants or shoes.
Make it special for him. A full-on I love you day.
If he wants to learn to love himself more, appropriating a hairstyle that doesn’t suit his hair type and then completely failing to maintain it (either due to depression, ignorance, or a combination of both) isn’t going to get him there. Tell him you’ve noticed this hairstyle doesn’t seem to be serving the purpose he hoped it would, and ask him if he’d like to look into changing it. Give him the gift of a trip to a really good hairstylist who can help him find a new style that suits him.
oh NO; not a white guy with dreads 😬
wait he’s white and got locs to help him love himself? wheres the correlation
6 months? Just move on
“Your lack of self care is affecting our intimacy” he will straighten up right away if he likes sex.
Eh. A white guy with crappy dreds is … not a catch. In fact, I’d say it’s a 🚩
How about stop trying to change him
Hey whT boy.. cut the shit and wash that .. there’s wildlife living up in there and you look like an asshole.
So it’s cool for him to tell you how you need to style your hair too then?
Wow!!?!
After reading your post, I’m wondering why do you think you are in a position to criticize his body and tell him what he needs to do with it.
That is basically what you’re saying right? You are 22 years old, you have only been dating him for 6 months, and I as I read your post you started telling what to do with his hair?
Like I asked earlier, why do you think you are in a position to do that, and after just 4 months? It’s a reasonable question for you to ask yourself.
I know you are very young, there will be a lot of trial and error as you get older. It’s completely okay for you to hate his hair. It’s completely okay to stop seeing him because of it. It’s just not okay for you to tell him to change it, so you’re happy.
To answer your question on the post…,,,YOU DON’T TRY TO GET HIM TO CHANGE HIS BODY, BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE SOMETHING.
Look at it from a different view. How would you feel if he told you that there is something about your body he hates, and wants you to change it?
This is something I hope you can think about in the future. You should do what is best for yourself, if you hate the hair that much, break up with him.
But I warn you, as you date, try to look past things like this. If he is a great, kind person that’s what you should look for.
Also, Karma had a way of returning on us for things just like this.
I’m assuming you must be perfect. Because if you’re not, you will find out the other side of this. I promise you that one day, someone might think about a part of your body.
Anyhow, I wish you luck
It’s his body his choice! does he get to say he doesn’t like how you dress? or what color you dye your hair? I would make a bet the answer is no!
Why is everybody preoccupied with his race? Culture appropriation is funny to me because except you live in a cave, you’re definitely appropriating someone’s culture.
Im confused by all the posts saying OP shouldn’t want to change her bf’s hair. It seems to me like she is worried abt him letting himself go and wants him to improve himself as opposed to wanting him to change for her sake. If i was letting myself go for whatever reason I would want my partner to point it out and help me feel better about myself
So this isn’t so much about hair style, 40/60 as it is about hygiene unmaintained dreads can cause scalp sores with the pulling and the blood and puss from them will get into the already dreaded lock making them smell bad. Will it always no. Can it yes. And it sounds like he has some severe pulling already if he has balding spots already. Perhaps you can bring it up to him on that avenue? That you are concerned.
You’ve been together 6 months? You’re not gonna have any impact on what he thinks he needs for self love or care. I’m sorry.
Dreads are nasty. They are almost always incredibly dirty and often times are smelly.
Sit him down and say your grooming habits are substandard and need to change. If you are dead set on keeping dreads my expectations are you are regularly cleaning them and are having them professionally maintained.
Locks are supposed to be maintained. I’m saying this as a blank woman with natural hair and has family with all locks. They are always groomed and shiny and well kept and washed. Are white people even supposed to have licked hair? Asking because you mentioned about thin hair. Black hair is strong and doesn’t get oily at all because our skin is made for different environments.
i’d hate a white guy with dreads too, cut (the dreads) and run lol
Find one of those videos online that show people getting rid of them and discovering sea crabs or other random things living or growing or existing in un-maintained dreads.
Dreads work for some people but not others and the lack of upkeep isn’t helping in terms of working for him.
Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t feel like the problem is his hair specifically but his hygiene, just taking care of himself and being aware of himself and his surroundings. I feel like helping him on this level will go a lot further than addressing just his hair
This would be an immediate deal breaker for me. I’m definitely on the side that it’s cultural appropriation, but even beyond that it doesn’t sound like he even has dreads- he has mats, like a dog. From experience- you are wasting your breath trying to convince him to take better care of himself when he doesn’t want to. Fuck being nice about it, tell him his hair is a mess and you’re feeling less attracted to him because of it. If he doesn’t fix it right away, then just cut your losses because he’s not going to change.
A. Schedule the appointment for him, make sure he goes.
B. Date someone else who upholds normal hygienic standards.
I think this is one situation where black people and white people can sing in harmony.. that dreads on skinny white guys is uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Make him watch “300” on a continuous loop until he decides to cut it. Whatever it takes.
😹😹😹
Tell him
White people look like idiots in dreds, let alone not taking care of them.
Yeah, “white guy with dreads” is something I encounter here in my Hippy town in Northern CA. I find it very unappealing and unless they’re actually Rastafarian, pretty disrespectful. They can be cool dudes, but if they’ve got the white guy dreads it’s a nonstarter.
You should get the same haircut and see how he reacts. Likely outcome, you’ll be single, and deservedly so.
If you can’t accept the person for who they are without changing them, move on. You are precisely what is so messed up about relationships. Forced compromise for vanity 🤮🤢
Unpopular opinion: Locks only look good on black people. Every time I see a white person with locks it’s cringey to me i have yet to meet a white person who looks good with them
-coming from a non-black person
It looks like you love him becoz of way the hair is great on him💀 . If not bad or any thing. Actually being in relationship both has be happy but not grossed.
Well if you don’t like it talk to him about it how you feel , if he not changed then find other
Just tactfully mention his lack of proper maintenance is causing bald spots. In my experience, especially at his age, that should freak him into action.
If that doesn’t work, pull out the big guns and mention lack of attraction. Good luck.
Tell him his head looking fucked up
What are you waiting for? Make the hair appointment for both of you and just go. Then afterwards, get ice cream.
You don’t need to have a big conversation about it. He already agreed.
If you can’t bring yourself to tell him, just avoid setting eyes on him.