#familyplanning #affordableparenthood #modernparenting #financialsustainability
In today’s modern times, it’s no secret that raising a family can be expensive. From diapers and formula to tuition and extracurricular activities, the costs of raising a child can add up quickly. So the question remains, how do people afford to have so many kids in modern times, especially in a country like America where the fertility rate is relatively low?
Let’s dive into some key factors that may contribute to how families are able to afford having multiple children in today’s society:
1. **Financial Planning**
– Budgeting: Many families carefully budget their expenses and prioritize their spending to ensure that they can afford to raise multiple children.
– Savings: Some families set aside money specifically for their children’s education or future expenses, such as college tuition or weddings.
– Investments: Investing in real estate, stocks, or other assets can provide families with additional income to support their growing family.
2. **Government Assistance**
– Child Tax Credits: The government offers tax credits and deductions for families with children, providing some financial relief for parents.
– Food Assistance: Programs such as WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) and SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) help low-income families afford groceries and nutritious meals for their children.
– Healthcare: Medicaid and CHIP (Children’s Health Insurance Program) provide affordable healthcare options for families with children, relieving some of the financial burden of medical expenses.
3. **Community Support**
– Extended Family: Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other relatives may provide childcare or financial assistance to help support the family.
– Social Services: Non-profit organizations, churches, and community centers may offer resources and support for families in need, such as free or low-cost childcare, educational programs, or job training.
4. **Dual Income**
– Many families have two working parents, which can help supplement the household income and provide financial stability for raising children.
– Flexible Work Arrangements: Some parents work part-time, freelance, or have flexible schedules to balance work and family responsibilities.
5. **Frugal Living**
– Thrift Shopping: Buying second-hand clothing, toys, and baby gear can save families a significant amount of money.
– DIY Projects: Making homemade baby food, cleaning products, and other household items can be a cost-effective way to save money.
– Minimalism: Embracing a minimalist lifestyle can help families prioritize what they truly need and avoid unnecessary expenses.
In conclusion, while raising multiple children in modern times can be challenging, there are various strategies and resources available to help families afford the cost of parenting. By carefully planning and budgeting, taking advantage of government assistance programs, seeking support from extended family and community resources, and adopting frugal living habits, many families are able to provide a loving and nurturing environment for their children, regardless of their financial situation. So the next time you see a family with multiple kids, remember that there are many factors at play that contribute to how they are able to afford their growing family.
Government assistance can help a lot when people have that many kids.
They may, in fact, be rich. Or, they live in very affordable places. Or, they have strategies that make child-rearing cheaper, such as using family members as caregivers rather than paying for day care, or only shopping at Costco and making inexpensive meals, etc.
Guys. The average us family is like 3 – 4 people. Nobody is having 4-8 kids regularly and if they do you hear about it because it’s an exception not a rule.
My sister is about to have her 5th.
She cant afford it.
Edit – My sister isn’t religious, just stupid.
Kids don’t have to be expensive, you don’t *need* to send your kids to summer camp, have them take piano lessons, play sports etc
My brother and sister in law have two kids and she’s a stay at home mom. My brother definitely makes very solid money, however they also don’t actively pay for daycare, so that’s huge. They don’t take big vacations a lot, and they do a lot of cooking at home. Sister in law shops with coupons and they buy stuff, like toys and clothes, for the kids second hand since often times little kids grow so fast that clothing is barely worn before it’s too small. All that stuff adds up to money saved. So it’s definitely possible, but it takes effort and sacrifice.
We have 3 kids. Honestly the costs weren’t terrible at the beginning (except for diapers). We’d gotten a lot of hand me down baby furniture, clothes and toys. I saved any kids clothes and toys that weren’t wrecked or stained, and passed them down through each kid. I stayed home so we wouldn’t have to pay for daycare, which was actually out of our budget. We didn’t go on vacations, go out to eat or buy new cars. Also, little kids don’t eat a lot… for dinner I’d only need an adult size portion to feed the three of them— leftovers went a long way.
But now two are teenagers and the other is a pre-teen, and *they’re like locusts.* They eat everything! Most of our money goes to the grocery store because I need to make 5 adult size portions for each dinner. I have to police the fridge because they’ll eat the ingredients for the next meal and any leftovers. The other main cost is shoes and other clothing— generally they’ll have 2 growth spurts a year. When the kids were little, the grandparents would always ask what to buy them and I’d say “clothes and shoes.” They each do one extra curricular activity, so there is tuition and fees there. School supplies are fairly expensive, especially in elementary school when you have to buy $25 worth of glue sticks.
We really could only afford our kids because we budgeted wisely and lived frugally. We still drive the same two cars, we occasionally go on vacation now, but we still avoid eating out and try to spend our money wisely.
I don’t know anyone who is having 4-8 kids. Many of my friends/acquaintances are childfree by choice. The friends who do have kids have 2, one friend has 3.
I work for a public school district that is closing schools next year because there are not enough kids to attend. Enrollment will be down about a few hundred in school year 24-25.
A lot of times, they don’t. The Duggars were barely feeding their family before they got the show on TLC and became famous.
Parenting and parenting in relative poverty are two very difficult things to rationalize for someone who hasn’t. But I’ll just say, with three children, and I do wish we at least got a home first, that the joy we share in the little moments that are so uniquely ours to share outweigh the stressor of, okay the lease renewal is too expensive so we have three months to find something and likely change my 6 year olds school all over again. That’s a nightmare you can imagine. But I wonder if you can imagine the softer and more redeeming moments.
Who says they can afford it? A lot of those that willingly have that many children are either rich or simply irresponsible and living in poverty.
It’s not about affording it. They just knock each other up and figure it out later
A woman I know just had a baby and had to move back with her parents because it’s too expensive. I don’t understand why people have kids they can’t afford.
My life post kids has been cheaper than my pre kid days. Having a social life where people go out is expensive AF compared to just chilling with other parent friends.
A family member has 10. No idea how they manage but they do. There is always a small panic when they want to visit.
I have five kids and my ex didn’t work. I worked two jobs and overtime a lot to make ends meet.
Usually, it’s because they don’t live the no-kids lifestyle (anymore). Their lifestyle includes their kids and it doesn’t cost nearly as much per person. Going out to do fun stuff is *expensive*
Kids can cost quite a bit, but with stuff like food there are economies of scale, and with clothing, hand-me-downs save a lot of money. With plenty of kids to keep each other company, you don’t need to send them to as many clubs or sports or whatever, so that saves money. There’s often family in town to help too, Grandma and Grandpa, etc.
Being frugal and focusing on what’s important.
I think when parents do certain things before they have children, it works best no matter how many kids you have.
1. Plan.
2. Finish school, college if inclined.
3. Get a good stable job.
4. Then, get married, to a like minded planner of family.
5. Find a good home.
6. Then have as many kids as you 2 have planned.
7. Stick to the plan.
IF you can make a plan, stick to it, its very doable.
The real price is often the permanent loss of earning potential for the woman who stays at home because of how expensive professional childcare is.
But it’s invisible, so it’s not treated as a “cost”.
It’s really sad that couples don’t plan how to afford kids then have them anyway only to struggle more. Oh wait, there is more kids coming. Let’s enter the world of insanity.
The same way they did it in the past. They cant afford it.
Carholic here with 5 kids currently. 9 months to a 14 year old.
We earn a almost 300k together in what used to be MCOL. Now it is approaching HCOL. galveston county texas.
Also bought our house in 2008.
But when we started out it was much tougher. Been 18 years of good decisions and hard work.
You save a lot of money by not having a social life and lowering your expectations for luxury goods like “not cooking casseroles” and “buying new clothes” and “paying someone else to maintain your shiny not-ten-year-old-minivan”.
You also go to church for cheap entertainment and community and share a lot of stuff with other people in your community.
Just avoid the hyper individualistic consumerist American dream and you’re good!
Pretty sure a lot of people are living on credit and borrowed time. My brother is the single income household w 4 kids he mentions often he’s worth more to them dead cuz life insurance lol
I have 4 kids, 9, 11, and 13. One of them is an adult (23) living at home. We live in a low cost of living area and bought our home outright as a foreclosure for $21,000. We’ve put $60,000 into it over the 11 years we’ve lived here. It still needs a new kitchen.
My husband has a good job as a butcher, and I was able to be a SAHM until a couple of years ago. I coupon, cook homemade meals instead of eating out. Until Covid and the rising cost of groceries and inflation, our kids were in dance class, karate, and other extras.
Now he works 50-60 hours a week and I went back to work. 3 of my kids are autistic so I need a flexible schedule. I work at McDonald’s instead of using my degree because the hours just wouldn’t work for our family. We can only afford to insure 2 cars, so they get shared between my husband, myself, and my oldest to get to work, kids to school, and various doctor appointments.
Right now, we’re just poor. We don’t get any government assistance. Our bills are paid, we love our family, and we’re making it work. It’s not like we can put the kids back.
We have 4. We were SO broke at the beginning. If I did the whole “wait until we can afford it” we never would have had kids.
Having the kids (honestly, some were not planned but failed contraception) forced me to fight really hard to find alternative income. We started a business, it was extremely successful.
We, on paper, earn a lot but now we are paying a massive mortgage we probably sit in the “old” middle class. I can’t afford a cleaner, because once a week we go out for dinner (kids don’t eat much the ages they are couldn’t do it when they’re teenagers). We’ve just started school sports etc and that will stretch our budget a lot.
I just keep trying to build my business so we aren’t strapped but things get tight in certain seasons. It’s still ridiculous the amount we earn to have what our parents had on one income thirty years ago- but is what it is.
Getting pregnant is free. A lot of folks don’t think twice about it, culturally for some people it’s a given.
From there, it depends on your definition of “afford.”
There are just way too many factors. I can easily have 4-5 kids where I live currently but 1-2 somewhere else. Location being just one factor. Your ability to budget, hobbies, debt, healthcare needs, family and friend support, etc etc etc all factor in. Even a persons commute factors in if that means they have a car payment, high insurance and a big gas budget vs someone who can work from home or has no car payment. My SIL hasn’t bought a single item of clothing for her kids because she gets all our hand me downs. Someone who uses cloth diapers will have much lower costs than disposable diapers, etc.
Welfare, I guess.
Define “afford”.
Technically, raising kids involves feeding and watering them a few times a day, some kind of cleaning routine, and the assumption that they’re supervised. All of that could be done on minimal budget.
Making capable, functional and productive human beings within two decades, particularly ones that do the whole “change the world” thing, takes more money.
The question is how did people afford to have so many kids from 1800 through 1930?
Now people in many countries are having less than 1/2 as many kids as in those years.
Now is not high.
Now is low low low birth rates
Guy at work has eight kids stay at home Mom, child deductions means he has no taxes. They don’t go out to eat or do expensive vacations so they do okay. Lots of rice and pasta and bread to fill up on. He’s has one of those extended Vans they use at airports so 10 of them can fit
As a family of 6. I know how much my parents spend on 4 kids just for food. Raising kids today is expensive. A McDonald’s meal is no longer cheap either.
Cost of children scales oddly. The 4th is a fucking nightmare financially in my experience. We needed a new house and car.
I have 3 kids not easy, where I live average household income is 34k per year. I make 78k work long hours in the Coal Mining Industry. My wife is a homemaker raises our kids cause child care for 3 kids would be around $20 hr best I’ve found then it wouldn’t pan out her working. We make ends meet and our kids come first have everything they need and more. Sad thing is when I checked on government assistance just out of curiosity they told me (Social Services exact words)my wife and I need to divorce and still live together I work a part time job we can get full food stamps benefits, Medicaid, SSI checks etc bunch of other stuff. Which is all illegal being together and all that but they said nobody gets caught I can’t do that I’m a honest person. Averages between all the benefits and stuff they told me we would pull in 50k a year. It’s sad people get paid to be lazy and tax payers skimming by can’t get help legally. But we live comfortably not a lot extra everyone is happy.
I mean, it’s not difficult to “afford” kids technically speaking. It’s just a manner of what minimum quality of life you’re looking for. And where you live.
Most of the time when you hear people say they can’t afford something, they’re saying “I can’t afford that given the current restrictions I’m imposing on myself for my lifestyle choices”.
People have extremely high variances in what they consider livable.
What has help me are stores like kid to kid where you can make $$ selling old clothes or get new clothes. Hand me downs are great!! I had a bunch of friends that had old clothes and just gave them to me. Also if you just honestly feed your kids healthy so they stay full longer you don’t have to feed them junk constantly. Don’t spend money on materialistic stuff and do free things with them. Do t spend money on going out or trying to “keep up with the jones’”
Love all the comments about how you just have to watch your budget, and you too can raise a family of 4 on $300k. Seriously? You mean like only buying a new Lexus every 10 years instead of just waiting until the warranty runs out?
The actual answer: unless they’re born into money, they don’t.
Also, why in the world would they want to?
My main takeaway from these comments is basically the urge to shout “stop making more fucking people, dumbass”
Yeah, you feel it’s justified because you’re chemically wired to irrationally love and serve your kid(s).
But it’s always the absolute cannibalization of the parents lives and dreams and incremental gains and everything.
If your entire life goal is to make people, sure. But otherwise, use a fuckin condom or pull out or whatever.
To anyone reading this and thinking you just need to be frugal:
Keep in mind, the number of children born with special needs has been going up every year for a while. You can’t “frugal” your way to proper care for a child with special needs.
Most families have social support networks where extended family members, friends, and community networks often provide invaluable support to families with their children. This support can include but usually not limited to childcare assistance, emotional support, and shared resources, making it easier for parents to manage larger families without too much financial and emotional burnouts.
You can’t unless you are rich or you want to live frugally. We like to eat avocados twice a week, go on an international vacation once a year, like to spend money on our hobbies like video games, legos, gym membership, enroll our kid into multiple extracurricular. we don’t eat out much since we like cooking but I don’t think we could have afforded all this if we we were not one and done.
They usually can’t afford it. Sadly the people having lots of kids are abusive dumbfuck republicans with a collective braincell in their pickup truck.
Doctors and people with decent jobs are usually far too busy to entertain having kids, and much more likely to abstain from having kids if they feel inadequate as parents.
Dumb drunk fucks just forget their birth control and multiply.
I mean, look at boebert and family.