#MovingInWithBoyfriend #Budgeting #Relationships #StudentLife #SplittingExpenses
Moving in with a partner can be an exciting and challenging time. Sorting out financial matters when living together is crucial, as it can have a significant impact on the relationship. In this post, we will explore different approaches to handling expenses when moving in with your boyfriend, especially when you are a student on a tight budget.
## Communication is Key 👫💬
Open and honest communication is essential when it comes to navigating financial matters with your partner. It is crucial to have a calm and respectful conversation about how expenses will be divided. Here are some tips on how to approach this delicate situation:
1. **Express Your Concerns**: Start by sharing your financial situation with your boyfriend. Let him know that you are on a tight budget as a student and how splitting expenses equally may not be feasible for you.
2. **Listen to His Perspective**: Understand where your boyfriend is coming from and why he may have suggested splitting everything 50/50. Perhaps he has his own financial concerns or beliefs about sharing expenses.
3. **Compromise**: Suggest alternative ways of splitting expenses, such as a 60/40 or 70/30 arrangement based on your respective incomes. Finding a compromise that works for both of you is key to maintaining a harmonious living arrangement.
## Finding a Balance ⚖️
When it comes to sharing expenses with your boyfriend, finding a balance that works for both parties is crucial. Here are some factors to consider when determining how to split costs:
1. **Income Discrepancy**: Take into account the difference in your incomes. As a student, you may not be able to contribute as much as your boyfriend, who is working full-time. It is essential to consider each other’s financial capabilities when dividing expenses.
2. **Shared Expenses vs. Personal Expenses**: Differentiate between shared expenses like rent, groceries, and utilities, and personal expenses like entertainment or hobbies. Consider splitting shared expenses proportionally to your incomes while covering personal expenses individually.
3. **Fairness and Equity**: Strive for a fair and equitable division of expenses that takes into account both partners’ financial situations and contributions. Remember that fairness does not always mean splitting costs equally.
## The Path of Duty and Righteousness 🌟
In challenging situations like these, it can be helpful to draw inspiration from ancient wisdom. The Bhagavad Gita teaches us about performing our duties with a sense of righteousness and detachment from the results. When discussing financial matters with your boyfriend, approach the conversation with a sense of duty towards maintaining harmony in the relationship and act with integrity and fairness.
In conclusion, finding a suitable approach to splitting expenses with your boyfriend when moving in together requires open communication, understanding, and compromise. By considering each other’s financial situations, finding a balance between shared and personal expenses, and striving for fairness and equity, you can navigate this challenging situation successfully. Remember to approach this discussion with a sense of duty and righteousness, as guided by ancient wisdom.
“I can not afford 50/50 on groceries, especially when I eat less than you.”
Tell him it
is a wiser financial decision for you to NOT move in with him, because it sounds like that is the case
Sounds like you’re not in a place where you can move in with someone and be a partner, so you should finish school first then get a job.
You spend maybe an hour or so making dinner, he does the dishes for like 5 -10 minutes. Sums up the relationship dynamic.
9 months is way too soon to move in with someone.
Don’t move in? I won’t mind paying 120 pounds a week if I have someone cooking for me everyday when I get home from work.
You have done your maths and you know what exactly is comfortable for you and what is not.
Edit: ill throw in dishes + mopping the kitchen after you are done cooking.
Do not move in with this man. Run now. Before you know it you’ll be 2 weeks out from a C-section and expected to pay him back for your “half”. Get out as fast as you can!
Don’t move in.🚩🚩🚩
You’re about to move in with a guy you’ve only been with 9 months…. The grocery money isn’t the issue.
Appropriate approach is stay where you are. You aren’t gaining anything by moving in and probably hurting yourself. Hes correct in wanting more help bill wise. He doesn’t make that much more than you. Yeah 400 seems a lot but he also has other expenses related to commuting etc. so it’s best you each stay where you are and wait until you are both on solid footing financial wise. No harm in waiting but a lot can come from rushing.
Maybe not move in with him or buy your own food eat buys his and if he doesn’t want to do dishes then you cook your own food and clean after yourself if you don’t stick up for yourself you will be doing everything
Let’s do the math as it is always the fair way to make financial decisions.
1. You – $850 rent allowance
2. You – leaves you $900 from part-time job
3. You – 50/50 for utilities which you have added in unless he is paying for all utilities
4. You have offered to cook every night, which is far more work than washing the dishes
5. Him – $2,200 take home pay
6. Him – after rent $1,350
7. Him – 50/50 utilities unless he agrees to pay all
8. Him – just wash the dishes.
You are both on a very tight budget. He will have an extra $450 per month than you. So, with food, him eating twice as much as you, the calculations for that the actual for food is 75/25, but there isn’t any adjustment for the extra time you spend cooking.
You said food is $120 every 2 weeks, which is $240 per month, then the actual money split should be $60 for you and $180 for him. This is fair in the money since; however, I believe he places no value on your time for cooking.
Balance of money after food and rent is:
You – $820 before utilities
Him – $1,170 before utilities
Prior to moving in with anyone, you should always look at the breakdown of “fair.” In this case, I believe your bf is being unfair, and the money is not being split the correct way.
Also, when utilities come for splitting equally, I think it’s unreasonable for him to ask you to split utilities 50/50. You are a student, working part-time, cooking, and you get time to study when?
Just a logical breakdown and thought of time.
It’s too much to pay for food and wash dishes? Ummm what was he doing before dating you?
Also, don’t have rush conversations about important things like living together, get everything talked out, even if it takes a few weeks, even a year or so before moving in.
You’ll be glad you did.
Don’t move in with him. You can’t afford it. You have only been dating for nine months, that’s way to soon. You will be pregnant by the end of the year. Just focus on your studies.
Don’t move in with him
Don’t do it
So don’t cook for him, if you financially need to move in. Hopefully you can find other accommodations, but it’s ridiculous for you to be nickel and dimed by your partner, especially as a student.
Don’t start a cohabitating relationship with this disrespectful dynamic.
Your life will get increasingly worse if you choose to be with a person who doesn’t actively want to love you *as much as they’re able*.
Your life will get increasingly better if you choose to be with a person who does.
Choose a relationship with someone who’s proactive with their love. Or at least hopefully read this, remember it while things do get worse with this man who thinks of himself and what he deserves instead of you and how he can make you happy… and choose someone entirely unlike him next time.
>So I ask what is the appropriate approach?
Doesn’t sound like you two are ready to move in together
Yea no this only seems to benefit him, don’t move in w him. Only he has something to gain. If you really like eachother, you’ll still be able to visit eachother. Make sure he knows that rn w you being a student, moving in together under these terms will be unrealistic. Remember you’ve got to study too, as a uni student. It’s a commitment. It’s too much for you to deal with, it’s unfair.
Don’t move in with him
When two people move in together, they should both be benefiting financially. You can afford to live by yourself but can’t afford to live with him, and that’s all you need to know. If that’s not enough for you, your boyfriend thinks 2 weeks of cooking in exchange for £120 and doing dishes is “too much” for him. That tells you exactly how much he values your contribution to the relationship.
9 months and you’re 21 and he’s 26? Nah. Don’t move in with him, it won’t benefit you.
“If I’m going to split everything 50/50 with you then we need to find a place where that will be affordable for me”
girl you haven’t even been with him for a year, there’s no reason for you to be moving in with him this early anyways.
my bf and I live together – we pay 50/50 on rent but he pays more like 80/20 for groceries since I’m a student and he makes more than me. he also pays our utilities. so even if you *do* move in with him for some reason, it shouldn’t be expected of you to pay 50/50 on groceries when you don’t make as much as him, and you don’t eat as much as him.
Appropriate approach? Don’t move in with him. Until he openly is okay with being fair with money AND doing his share of houeswork and such? DO NOT MOVE IN WITH HIM.
9 months? You barely know him. Just finish your course and if you are both still together in 2 years? revisit.
Do you pay rent now? Which is cheaper, his proposal or your current situation? Do the cheaper of the two choices.