“Need Advice: How to Handle Parents Discovering Hidden Camera in My Apartment? #FamilyDrama #SecretCamera #BoyfriendLivingTogether
Hey there! So, my situation is a bit tricky – my Christian parents have secretly installed a camera in my apartment. I’ve been living with my boyfriend for six months now, successfully fooling them into thinking the camera is broken. But they’re coming to visit in August, and they’ll likely figure out the truth. What should I do next?
Here’s what’s happened so far:
**Background**
– I’m a 20-year-old female.
– My parents are 44 and 48 years old.
**Current Dilemma**
– Parents installed a camera in my apartment.
– Lived with boyfriend without their knowledge.
– Camera appears to be working fine now.
**Looking for Advice**
– How should I handle my parents discovering the hidden camera?
– Any tips on discussing this sensitive situation with them?
– Should I come clean or keep up the charade?
Your help would mean a lot to me! Thanks in advance for any suggestions or advice you can provide. Can’t wait to hear what you think!”
Okay. I’m techsavvy. You can
-format the sd
– break out lil wires from inside of the camera then reaffix it.
Ask your boyfriend, he’ll know what to do
The power they have over you comes from 2 sources:
1. You are intimidated by them and feel you need to obey them
2. You are financially dependent on them
You know what you need to do, break those dependencies and assert your independence.
Take a still picture of the room and attach it to the front of the camera. No clue if it would work, but it sounds like it should work.🤣
Okay so first of all, this is an absolutely insane story and I’m so sorry that you’ve been living like this. I’m going to be super honest and say that there is really no good way to go about this, the decision should really be based off what kind of outcome you think you can handle. It seems like there are very few ways that would pacify your parents. I might have some suggestions that could help, but I am suggesting the deception route at least until you can get a job. The reason I suggest lying is because your parents have the power to essentially make you homeless, and I think it would be a bad idea to rely on your boyfriend if they decide to totally cut you off. Because then, what if you guys break up? Then you’re really stuck.
1. I think you should tamper with the camera. I don’t know what kind of camera it is, of course, but I’m sure there are some discreet ways that you could remove or break a crucial piece of it. Find out what kind of camera it is and look up an owners manual to pick the best way to break it. Maybe then ask your dad to take the camera down and have it “fixed” because I’m sure they plan to replace it anyway. OR you can try and continue to discreetly mess with the wifi while they are there so it continues to act up.
2. Is there any way you could introduce your boyfriend to them as a friend? You said they have met other guy friends before. That way, they can get to know him without freaking out. Then if you guys are still together in a few years, maybe the news would be less problematic for them. Or, just keep him a secret entirely if you prefer.
I’d also suggest making sure you stay at your place for a week prior to your parent’s visit, just so there’s food in the fridge and nothing seems off to them.
Do your parents give you any type of allowance or do they just pay for your rent? Do they send you grocery money? If you don’t have your own bank account, PLEASE open one in your name ONLY and do not tell your parents. I’d then suggest saving ANY leftover money, no matter how insignificant. You may have to withdraw cash or something so your parents don’t notice any bank transfers to your new account.
What’s stopping you from getting a job? I really feel like you need one, even if it’s some weekend waitressing once a week. I know the lying is exhausting and I’m so sorry you have to deal with this at all. Ultimately you should do what’s best for you— your health and safety is the biggest thing at risk here.
Пора перерезать пуповину. Вы живете отдельно, вы не обязанаы вообще оправдываться перед ними или что-то объяснять. Камеру нахер отключить и выбросись. Это ваша жизнь а не их. Чем раньше вы это поймете тем лучше. Удачи.
This is wild. UPDATEME
Say you had someone come look at it and it’s working
“Fix” the camera about a month before they show up. Tell them you figured out what happened, blah blah blah. Be on your best behavior for those 3-4 weeks leading up to the visit. After they leave, give it about a week or two before the camera breaks again.
You’re welcome.
If your dad is more reasonable, can you find time to sit him down and talk separately? Explain how much your mother is impacting your ability to live your life as an adult and that her being controlling like that isn’t good for her or for you. Ask him what will bring an end to all this. You have already shown her you can live competently as an adult. Is she going to monitor you for your whole life? Maybe even explain to him that you are working toward being more financially independent because living this way isn’t reasonable or sustainable. See if you can get him to understand and try and grow a backbone and tell her that she needs to let you be your own person.
You are an adult! You made an ADULT decision. they might disagree with it, but the fact is that there is jack shit they can do about it because, as I keep saying, there’s the little problem that their daughter is a fucking ADULT.
Break the camera.
The cameras I’ve seen need to be set up to work with your wi-fi equipment and tied to an online account before anyone can use them. If you can find instructions to do a “factory reset” it will erase those settings even though it isn’t broken.
AS for your parents and the boyfriend. This might be a great time to tell them you’re dating him. You can say you met him when you actually did and fudge a bit on when you started dating. You don’t need to tell them you’re living together if you don’t think they’ll take that well. But it could set the stage for them meeting him when they get visit.
You are an adult. You tell them no camera, you will live with whom you want to. Get yourself financially in order. and put your foot down.
Not very useful for you unless you know how to solder but I made myself a wall outlet to usb “adapter” cord that is fantastic for breaking things like webcams.
Get a smart plug, set it up to have timers to turn it on/off (or to turn wifi on/off) – make it random, so when they get here they just find that ‘wifi randomly cuts out for a couple hrs’ or similar
A month before “figure out” that the camera was broken because of the “bad wifi” that you bought and now that you figured it out you got good wifi.
Can you tell them that you met him at a Christian club at school or something? Maybe ask in a roundabout way. “I need to ask your opinion on something. I met a young man at a Christian club who would like to take me on a date but I’m not sure. He works at xyz and I looked up that those jobs can make x per year. I also heard he owns his own flat. I never even considered dating anyone because I don’t trust men to respect that I want to wait until marriage. But he’s a good Christian boy so it seems to me like he wants the same thing. He’s also a very masculine guy, you should see him. I’m conflicted though because he really does seem like a one in a million kind of guy. Does he seem good enough to be marriage material?”
Semi tongue in cheek – Break the camera with liquid damage.
Girl destroy the camera
Just break the camera, sabotage it some how use your big old brain and figure it out You can do it.
is there any way for you to get inside the camera and “accidentally” break it yourself? idk maybe risky but worth a shot
You told them it’s broken. So break it Einstein.
Orrrrrr, wild suggestion… you could act like the adult you are and tell them YOU make YOUR own decisions.
And fully accept the consequences that may have.
I haven’t read the post just the title. Your an adult who gives a damn what they think why would you let them put cameras in your house
At what age are you a legal adult in Russia?
If you are over the age of consent, it’s time to unplug the camera. But before you do, it’s time for some honest communication with your parents.
Get yourself a bunch of poster board and some magic markers, and start making some signs for them to read. Think about what you want to say, and use PowerPoint best practices. Me? If I were you, I’d build the presentation on the fact the whole world hates Russia for the atrocious war your country is waging on Ukraine and how it’s just a metaphor for your parents inappropriate, abusive and totally fucking creepy insertion of inappropriate abuse and dominance into your adult autonomy. And the consequences for this kind of sick, twisted abuse are rightly scorn, ridicule and despise because the ego bullshit of meglomania is pushing the world into WW3.
But that’s just me. Fuck Putin. With a chainsaw.
Just buy a wifi jammer and turn it on at random times while they’re there to illustrate how unreliable the wifi is.
I know one thing, no matter what happens with the camera, keep an eye on her to place other hidden cameras somewhere else in the apartment. I would especially be suspicious of this if she doesn’t make a big deal of replacing the “broken” camera. Personally I would go with the deceptive route until you can make it on your own. You can’t reason with this level of crazy. Is the camera a camera you plug into the wall or is it a wireless one?
I suggest that you do try introducing your boyfriend. Start now by continuing to mention your friend, talk about the many positive characteristics he has. Maybe they’ll hope he could be your boyfriend once they learn enough about him! After a few weeks of all these positive references, break the news that you are in fact a couple. Don’t talk about living with him, when and where you spend time together, nothing like that. (Although if you think your mother would harangue you about that, I’m not sure what to do if you don’t think you can just dodge those questions). I’d just keep being ignorant about the camera issues. Then when they visit, introduce them to your boyfriend in person, but again don’t discuss any issues of whether he or you stay overnight with each other. Just that your boyfriend and girlfriend.
You could also just break the camera, like open it up and break something inside, ie the cables or something, nothing too obvious naturally
Break the camera. Put it in water while it’s on. Don’t touch the water of course
If it doesn’t have a battery then microwave it. 2 seconds on full power should work. If it doesn’t then give it another go. Don’t put it in for too long in one go though, use short bursts, the goal is to kill the microchips like the USB controller
You need to be setting some very firm boundaries but that will only work if you establish complete independence from them first.
1. Move out of their house. Fully. Move all your things, return the keys, don’t go back.
2. Stop accepting financial help from them. Entirely. Don’t accept a single cent because it **will** come with strings attached.
3. Ensure that they have nothing of value to hold over your head. You should have your own place, your own money, your own method of transportation, all your own legal documents, etc.
Then you can set clear boundaries with them. You’re an adult and they have zero say over what you choose to do. Make this clear.
I.e., They cannot tell you who you can and cannot date or spend time with. You will not tolerate abusive comments. You will not make yourself available for constant contact from them. These need to come with consequences, like hanging up the phone, periods of low or no contact, etc.
This is the only way to deal with controlling abusive parents without compromising your mental health.
Until you can gain total independence from them, I’d recommend actually breaking that damn camera (maybe dunk it in some water) and not saying a word about your bf.
Man, this shit is wild
I would not tell them you’re living with a guy you met online and have only known for 6 months. I would not move in with a guy after 6 months.
I would break the camera or pretend dumb that it’s offline
What wifi do you use? You can just go in the app and block devices. You can set timers for it under parental controls usually.
Have kids. Had to get creative with it. “Oh no honey internet must be down” and it’ll say “connected with no internet” or something. Just like when the internets down. You can set timers sometimes too.
See if you can take a pair of pliers and damage where a cable connects to the camera, or crack the camera open and damage the interior.
Maybe just break it
So they pay for all your things? Is the apartment you live under your name or theirs? If it’s in yours can you move in with your bf and rent out your apartment? Fix the camera a few days before you get there and complain about how frustrated you are with it. When they buy a new one let them install it. Give it a week or two and then pretend you’re doing a deep cleaning. Not your going to get to where the camera is and accidentally drop it and immediately turn off the WiFi. If it’s on the wall then you can accidentally hit it. Or it’s going to get messed up when you use a steam mop around it. When your mom calls you just say it broke, or you don’t know what’s wrong with it. And then you can just keep making up the excuse it doesn’t work. And don’t get another one. Have them do it next time they visit. I’m the mean time get a job and start saving money. If you have time to have a bf and spend time with him then you have a few hours a week to get a job and work it a few hours a week.
Just actually break the camera. Turn off your wi-fi and then hold up a full cup of water to submerge the electronics and short them out. By the time they arrive it will have dried out, and if there’s any sign of moisture damage tell them it might be because you ran a humidifier while you were sick (also buy a humidifier if you are choosing this option,)
Stop answering face time so much. You are old enough for a boyfriend and responsible sex. Tell the truth. After the big blow up they may realize you’re a responsible adult. Lying is too hard anyway.
Get yourself a high quality laser pointer and shine it directly into the lens and leave it there overnight…in the morning, you’ll have a camera that doesn’t work without visible physical damage.
Break the camera? Open it up and fry a wire and put it back together 🤷♀️Mac Gyver that shit.
Microwave it for a second. Will fry it internally.
Slava Ukraine.
Not reading all that. Just break the camera.