#RelationshipAdvice #SettingBoundaries #RespectingPersonalSpace
Hey there! It sounds like you’re in a bit of a sticky situation with your girlfriend feeling uncomfortable about your brother and his partner’s public displays of affection. It’s not an easy topic to navigate, but I’m here to help you out with some advice on how to approach this delicate conversation.
Understanding Your Girlfriend’s Perspective 🤔
Before diving into the conversation with your brother and his partner, it’s important to take a moment to understand where your girlfriend is coming from. Public displays of affection (PDA) can make some people feel uneasy, especially in a shared living space. It’s possible that she’s just looking out for both of your comfort levels and wanting to establish some boundaries.
Having a Heart-to-Heart Conversation 💬
When it comes to addressing this situation with your brother and his partner, approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you navigate this potentially awkward discussion:
1. Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a time when you can have a private and relaxed conversation with your brother and his partner. It’s important to create a comfortable environment for everyone involved.
2. Express Your Concerns: Start the conversation by expressing your girlfriend’s feelings in a non-confrontational manner. Let them know that she’s feeling uncomfortable and it’s important to address this issue to ensure everyone feels respected in the shared living space.
3. Listen to Their Perspective: It’s crucial to give them the opportunity to share their side of the story. They may not be aware that their actions are making your girlfriend uncomfortable, and opening up a dialogue can help clear any misunderstandings.
4. Find Common Ground: Work together to find common ground and establish boundaries that everyone is comfortable with. It’s essential to come to a mutual understanding that respects everyone’s comfort levels.
5. Setting Clear Boundaries: Once you’ve had an open discussion, it’s time to set clear boundaries that align with everyone’s comfort levels. It could be as simple as asking for more privacy when it comes to affectionate gestures in shared living spaces.
Encouraging Empathy and Respect 🙏
While it’s important to address your girlfriend’s discomfort, it’s also essential to approach this conversation with empathy and understanding. It’s a delicate balance of respecting personal boundaries while also maintaining a harmonious living environment with your brother and his partner. Encourage open communication and understanding from all parties involved, and you might just find a solution that works for everyone.
Final Thoughts
Navigating relationships in shared living spaces can be tricky, but open communication and mutual respect are key in resolving any discomfort. Finding a middle ground that respects everyone’s comfort levels is a great way to maintain a positive atmosphere in your shared household.
I hope this advice helps you approach this situation with confidence and compassion. Remember, open communication is the first step towards finding a solution that works for everyone. Good luck!
By telling her no. You’re staying in their house and they are behaving like a regular couple living their lives. It would be different if they were all over each other, then yes, I would ask them tone it down a bit. In this case, they’re not doing anything wrong and asking them to change is unacceptable. If your gf is that uncomfortable she has 2 choices. Deal with it or leave.
Don’t. You are staying at their home? It isn’t your place to demand them to behave in a certain way. Especially if they aren’t being offensive and you are guests in their home. Tell your gf to grow up. People don’t have to cater to her neurotic demands
Yikes she is definitely in the wrong here. But you know that. Besides telling her that they are not being inappropriate AND it is their house I would simply refuse to discuss it. I would worry she might take it upon herself to say something though.
Tell her you won’t do it and to drop the subject. She is a guest in their house and does not get to police their behavior. This wasn’t even questionable behavior – they weren’t grinding on each other, ffs, it was a hug.
You might also let her know that this wasn’t public affection. They were in their own home. Maybe she should take herself off to the room you’re staying in if she can’t handle someone providing physical comfort to their partner.
Ridiculous
“No. They’re not doing anything wrong and I won’t tell them that. No.”
No justifying or debate.
>uncomfortable with public affection
this is not even public. this is their private home, where she is a guest. nothing more.
also, it’s not like they are walking around in the buff or having wild orgies in front of her.
she’s totally unreasonable and simply needs to adapt.
there might be an underlying reason for her feeling “uncomfortable”, which you might find out later.
Tell Prudie to get over it and not be an ungrateful guest.
Well the SECOND thing to do is to tell her No. That’s fairly clear.
But the first thing is to really listen to her, ask her what made her uncomfortable and what other feelings she had.
90 percent of the time people just want to be heard. You probably won’t need to do any more than that. You’ll also learn important things about your gf.
Is she hugging you or holding your hand while they are around? Or is she refusing all physical contact with you? Because if she’s fine with that, she’s a hypocrite.
She has weird expectations and I would tell her as mich. “I’m sorry two people hugging in their own home is making you uncomfortable, but for me this is absolute normal. If they were going overboard with showing affection, I would speak up, but in this case, I absolutely don’t see any need.” Maybe also ask her what exactly made her uncomfortable when they just shared a hug? Like, I do that with close friends. It’s normal. Nothing sexual going on with just a normal hug.
It’s their house.
If your girlfriend isn’t comfortable with them, she knows where the door is.
You are guests in their home. Its none of your concern if your brother’s gf wants to be affectionate with your brother. Your gf has the issue – no one else. Go find somewhere else to stay, but don’t try to dictate the behavior of your hosts.
Does she also try to control you? That is very weird behavior and tells me she is only interested in controlling others and making herself the victim in all circumstances. Good luck if that is what you want in your life.
You tell her just that. We’re staying in their home I am not gonna tell them that her hugging him and telling him to come to bed is inappropriate.
You probably need to have a conversation with her about why she thinks that’s inappropriate behavior
Your GF needs help wtf, the incredible sense of entitlement here. Is this the first time she lives away from her home?
Entirely unreasonable request. Don’t even mention it to your brother and his GF. It is literally their home
What? You guys are staying at their house and she has the nerve to “request” this OMG LOL
Tell your GF choosy beggars get rightly shown the door.
If she is not comfortable, go for walk…get out of the apartment to get some fresh air. When I had roommates, I was rarely at my apartment. I only went to the apartment to sleep or cook when I knew the roommate was not there. Movie theaters or book stores were great places to grab a nap.
Tell your gf to go stay at a hotel.
Your girlfriend sounds like she’s a lot of fun at parties.
🙄
>my girlfriend wants me to talk to them about how she’s uncomfortable with public affection.
Your girlfriend is pretty immature if she expects the world to align to her world view. That’s not how things work.
>At one point in the night. Hayley (27 F) is my brother’s girlfriend of 3 years. We were sitting in the living room talking to my brother. She came up behind Jason (brother) hugged him from behind and said something along the lines of come to bed. That’s all that happened.
Wow, your gf needs a therapist if that bothered her. If someone in my house told me not to do that? I’d tell them to get the f out. Your girlfriend is out of line.
It’s not public affection. They’re in their own home. A home that they’re nice and generous enough to share with you and your girlfriend. I wouldn’t even really consider what they did overly affectionate. Whatever your girlfriend’s problem is, she needs to deal with it without making a fuss at the very people who are providing her a roof over her head.
I know you are a 26 year old grown ass man, but if you were my son, I’d sure hope that you were mature enough to recognize this for the red flag that it is. Sweetie, this is some kookie entitlement, choosie beggar, outrageous behavior. Are you sure she’s the one? Have there been any other troubling behaviors that you’ve tried to overlook?
If someone were doing me a favour, I wouldn’t dictate terms and boundaries to them in this manner. How entitled does this girl behave in situations where she is actually in a position to dictate terms??
Your gf is the reason people hate houseguests. Time for her to leave and get her own place where she can make the rules.
You realize that’s not PDA right? They’re in their own home, ya know their PRIVATE residence? Just because you and gf are staying with them doesn’t now make it public.
Sit your gf down one last time. Tell her this will be that last time you address this, if she brings it up again YOU will tell her to leave, because now she’s making it uncomfortable for you. Letter know that your brother and his gf aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s their home not gf’s. She doesn’t get to tell them they can’t have PDA. Remind her again any affection they show each in their own home isn’t PDA because it’s their private residence.
If she still has a problem, she needs mental health help. Well she does anyway. But honestly is she’s going to harp on such a non-issue you’re going to spend more time having to explain the world than you are having a healthy relationship. Which you don’t have, a healthy relationship that is. GF us a problem. She’s being absurd. Nip it in the bud before she makes an ass outta herself and you by addressing it herself.
And if she leaves don’t go with her. It’s so not worth it.
Her request is absurd and ridiculous and I think your gf might have some feelings for your brother.