#ToxicRelationship #FinancialAbuse #ManipulativePartner #GetOutOfDebt #SupportiveFriend
Hashtags are powerful tools on social media to attract a specific audience seeking information on similar issues. In this case, we are addressing a concerning situation where a friend’s boyfriend is financially exploiting her while trapping her in a controlling relationship. It’s crucial to provide guidance, support, and valuable advice on how to navigate this challenging situation.
## Understanding the Situation
When a friend is struggling in a toxic relationship involving financial abuse, it can be overwhelming to know how to help. In this particular scenario, the friend’s boyfriend is exerting control over her through a financially binding contract, causing immense stress and potential loss of custody of her son. Here are some key points to consider:
– **Emotional Manipulation:** The boyfriend’s behavior of withholding affection until the debt is paid off is a form of emotional manipulation.
– **Financial Drain:** The friend is facing financial strain due to the boyfriend’s extravagant spending habits and mounting debt.
– **Isolation and Control:** By creating a dependency on him through debt, the boyfriend is isolating the friend from potential sources of support.
## Supporting Your Friend
As a supportive friend, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and practical solutions. Here are some steps to consider:
1. **Encourage Open Communication:** Create a safe space for your friend to share her feelings and concerns without judgment.
2. **Offer Practical Help:** Assist your friend in creating a financial plan to address her debt and secure her financial independence.
3. **Explore Legal Options:** Consult with a legal expert to understand the implications of the financial contract and explore ways to mitigate its impact.
4. **Provide Emotional Support:** Be there for your friend emotionally, offering encouragement, listening ear, and reassurance that she deserves better.
## Bhagavad Gita Wisdom
In times of adversity and challenges, seeking wisdom from ancient texts like the Bhagavad Gita can offer valuable insights. The teachings of the Gita emphasize the importance of duty, righteousness, and detachment from the outcomes of our actions. Encourage your friend to reflect on these principles and empower herself to make choices that align with her well-being and values.
Remember, supporting a friend in a toxic relationship requires patience, compassion, and persistence. By being a source of strength and guidance, you can help your friend regain control of her life and break free from the cycle of financial abuse. It’s essential to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding, always prioritizing your friend’s well-being above all else. Together, you can navigate this challenging journey and empower your friend to reclaim her autonomy and independence.
By providing valuable advice, emotional support, and practical solutions, you can help your friend navigate this difficult situation and break free from the cycle of financial abuse. Remember, your role as a supportive friend is crucial in empowering your friend to make positive changes in her life. Stay strong, stay supportive, and together, you can overcome this challenge. 🌟 #Empowerment #SupportiveFriendship #BreakFreeFromAbuse
I’m not a lawyer but this sounds like extortion and fraud which can both be felonies. That contract is not enforceable, he cannot unilaterally tell her that she owes him for things he decided to pay for.
If there’s a trauma bond and she refuses to leave, that’s a problem and you can’t make her, but that contract is not enforceable. I would look into seeing if a lawyer can help.
Well, she has to leave FIRST, to protect herself. Worry about the debt later.
The contract is probably hot garbage. If he doesn’t actually have much money of his own, I’m betting he doesn’t have the legal resources to enforce it. And even if he does, who cares? Let him try to sell the note to a collection agency. That $15K will get knocked down to $5K or less overnight.
“she can’t leave him, because she loves him”
THIS is the crux of the matter, not some cockamamie contract. Your friend doesn’t *want* to leave. She’s not stuck.
Get a fucking lawyer lmfao. He’s doing this so she will never leave. And I bet my ass that contract is total bullshit. It doesn’t matter what you sign. Was there even a liable third party involved to witness this signature? Otherwise anyone can pull a contract out their ass. Lawyer up and take him to civil court
The contract is nonsense. That’s not how anything works. Talk to domestic violence advocates. Talk to a lawyer. He’s got her all fucked up in the head, keeping her drunk and talking crazy but she simply can’t be kept in debt slavery to her boyfriend.
Wow that really sucks. What can suck is people that are in situations like this may not realize how abused they are being, or don’t want to believe it is happening to them.
Have you had a serious conversation with her? I would invite her to get coffee just the 2 of you and see what is up. Perhaps focus on her child and how if she continues like this, she is losing her child.
You could reach out to women’s shelters or abuse groups and explain your situation and see if they can offer advice or support on how to help someone who is trapped but doesn’t see it.
The drinking is horrible, the situation is horrible. Hopefully he doesn’t have access to cards in her name.
Realistically, if she is game, the move is to move out of the bfs apartment. If you get her to agree to this, you wait until you know he will out of the apartment and you help her move while he is gone so she has no reason to go back.
This contract sounds iffy and a lawyer would be best to talk to. Her history of making payments may legitimize an argument from the bf that he is owed money. The women’s support you talk to could offer legal recommendations.
Ultimately your friend needs to want to change and to get out. Start with talking with her to see where her heads at and make sure she knows you are there to help her.
She could just leave him. Make him sue her in court. Maybe she’ll have to pay it back, maybe the court will realize that he doesn’t have standing. If he only has her signature on the paper with the first amount owed he can’t just add stuff at a whim.
Plus child support payments would be above any payment back to him through the courts.
But none of this matters unless she wants to leave him.
If she does I’d tell her to get some family to come during the time when he’s at work, pack her shit up, and bring her home.
B has no custody over their own child? So they have a history of making poor decisions with horrible outcomes.
I very much doubt there is much you can do to help here. Some people, likely due to adverse childhoods, just gravitate to living in chaos and misery. They draw people in to save them, just to distract themselves from their unhappiness, just to jump back to their old lives.
I think you should keep a healthy emotional distance from this person. She will find her own way out of this relationship when she wants to.
Tell her to leave now. Stop paying him a dime
The only people who will be able to help her are a good therapist and a good lawyer. Why she fuck would anyone agree to that kind of arrangement? It’s one thing for someone to extend invites for trips and stuff, but if people can’t afford it, they shouldn’t be forced to go. What an abusive jerk. I hope your friend is able to leave him.
She should see a lawyer, I doubt anything this guy is doing would hold up.
Naw she should leave him. Stop drinking his alcohol. Stop paying anything. Tell her to have him take her to small claims court. This tripods are considered a gift. They are in a relationship. Nothing he’s doing is legal. She’s a sucker unfortunately. If she signed a contract or doesn’t count unless it was notarized that she didn’t sign it under duress. She needs to leave this horrible dude asap.
If there was a written contract, and if that contract was legally enforceable (which I highly fucking doubt), it will be enforceable for *only* the amount of money she owed him *at the time the contract was signed*. She does not owe him a penny more.
But no, you can’t help her. You can not help someone who does not want to be helped. Until she admits that he is abusive, and also chooses to leave him, she will remain subject to his abuse. Literally all she has to do is put her shit in her car while he’s at work and drive to a DV shelter or home of a friend or family member willing to take her in. That’s it. And she’s free. And until she’s willing to do that, no one can help her.
You realize indentured servitude is illegal, right?
You cannot break up with me until you’ve repaid me.
Signed,
Both parties.
Doesn’t work like that. She’s free to leave whenever she wants.
I can’t imagine a judge would uphold that contract, especially if she had no legal council and was coerced into signing it
Go see a lawyer or go
Speak to a bankruptcy trustee . She is 24 and although not good she can rebuild and get away from him . Be honest about assets
Your friend isn’t nearly as stuck as you or she likes to believe. The relationship is clearly emotionally and financially abusive. But she is making a choice to stay. He can’t FORCE her to go on expensive vacations and whatever else. She’s choosing it. If she’s worried about the contract, she should speak to a lawyer about it, but even paying him back doesn’t mean she has to remain in the relationship. She’s not stuck. She’s choosing it.
So this contract is not enforceable, which amounts to the same thing as saying it’s fake.
If she were to just stop paying him and leave, he could try to sue her, and the second he brought out that contract and his “evidence” he’d be told to kick rocks and get out of the courts face. He cannot DO anything to her. The contract is a non issue. He cannot punish her legally in any way. This contract is like having a written agreement that her dad will be mad at her if she doesn’t give him money, it’s nonsense.
If she wants to leave, she can. If she’s not on the lease, she can just stop paying rent. She doesn’t have to PAY for or DO anything. Is the consequence of her not paying or going on vacations him being mean to her? He’s already mean to her. Unless he’s beating her or pulling out a gun SHE is the one giving power to his bullshit.
She just has to stop. If she wants to she can. He picked her because she’s young and naive. If she wants to continue to play his stupid game, it’ll wreck her life.
Sorry to say, but if she doesn’t want to stop, you’re just going to watch her ruin her life.
Don’t pay. Let him try to use the courts.
She doesn’t owe him shit. Leave him.
I don’t understand this contract. You can’t force someone to be in a relationship as part of some reimbursement agreement. She can still pay him back and leave him.
Also, contracts can’t be open-ended. There needs to be an amount agreed upon to be paid back. Anything else that he “adds” is just bs. She’s not on the hook for any amount other than what she agreed to. Even then, this is likely not enforceable. Tell her just to stop paying and leave this AH.
Let him collect the “contract”. Who cares? Not much would be worse than her situation currently.
He can come after her in court. Tell her to leave him.
Hello age gap, our old friend 🎶
You cannot help someone who refuses to help themselves. She can leave any time she chooses. She needs to put her foot down, move herself out, and figure out this “debt” thing with legal aid after she is free – she just has to take responsibility for HERSELF and stop breathing the gas. There is no “make” her do anything. She can say no – and if he lays hands on her to force the issue… he has committed a crime, which changes things.
Tell your friend to call you when she decides to leave him & you will help her move her stuff. Otherwise, there’s nothing you can do “For” her – she has to do it herself.
…She can just leave
She can be pack up her car and her kid and LEAVE.
What she signed was not legally binding. He’s not holding her at gun point. She can leave whenever she wants. She does not have to go on the trips he plans. She can say no.
She is in a misery of her own making because she refuses to leave. She is going to stay suffering and lose her kid and that is HER CHOICE. She’s not a victim here.
The contract doesn’t sound enforceable. She can confirm that with an hour of a lawyers time. It’s her desire to stay, and not an illegal and unenforceable contract, keeping her there.
Your friend is on BS no one owns no one and she wants to be with him
How does he force her to take these trips? Does he tire up and put her in the ?
How does he force her to drink? Does he pour them down her throat?
She is making bad decisions. Is this a norm for her? Is it part of the reason she does not have custody of her son?
There is nothing keeping your friend there but your friend. If he wants his money back, he can take her to court but my guess is he won’t.
Not a lawyer but there doesn’t seem to be a legal contract that forces someone to pay back money spent on trips. He’s basically just making her pay for his things. She needs to leave him but it’s going to be hard since he’s emotionally abusing her.
That contract won’t hold up in court. He took her on the trips. Plain and simple.
Your friend is not legally bound by this donkey’s fake contract, she wants to believe that he’s in control so she doesn’t have to actually make decisions that in her imagination, are going to “hurt” him.
​
It’s obvious to everyone with a head attached that he doesn’t love her; that’s actually hateful, spiteful, abusive, and fucking garbage.
​
If she doesn’t do anything different, the only thing that will change is that things will get worse. What does she think will happen when she loses custody of her kid, runs out of money, loses her car, and her credit is tanked?
​
lol does she think that he’s going to suddenly feel sorry for her and be kind? That he’s going to apologize and put it all right? Your friend sounds hopeless, and I’d give her an ultimatum, tell her that when she’s ready to leave I’ll help, but in the meantime, watching her set herself on fire is giving me cancer of my anxiety, and for my own mental health, I need to tap out.
It’s a difficult problem to solve, your friend is stupid and there’s not much you can help there
That’s not an enforceable contract lmao
You can sign a contract, that doesn’t make it legal.
If he’s taking trips and forcing her to go, and adding it to what she “owes” him, then she needs a lawyer and hopefully she can get some of that money back.
There are laws covering what you can and cannot put in a contract: this sounds like it’s not worth the paper it’s written on.
Even the most unethical judge would laugh this guy out of the court room. She needs to leave, let him sue.
I am pretty sure this wouldn’t stand up in court as she signed under duress. She can leave any time she wants. She is in an abusive relationship. Call a domestic abuse help-line. They should be able to give you better info.
How are both of yall this damn gullible? Do you legit not know ANYONE with any sense? This man is not a creditor. He can’t do anything to harm her credit if she decides to stop paying. Also, if he tried to take her to court over that ridiculous contract, as soon as the court comes to know how the balance keeps getting hiked up because of coercive activity, not a single word would be enforceable. She is staying with him because she WANTS to, not because she is stuck. She’s not anything of the sort.
You can’t just write anything on a piece of paper and call it a legally binding contract.
Tell her to pack her shit and leave. If he has a problem with it, he can take her to court. She won’t be any worse off than she is now, and will likely find that legal support steers her clear of this shit.
Of course, the real problem is “she can’t leave him, because she loves him”.