Playing board or card games with close friends can be an incredibly enjoyable and social activity. However, it’s not uncommon for tensions to rise and emotions to run high during these games, leading to frustrations and arguments. If you find yourself getting upset or angry while playing board or card games with your close friends, it’s essential to learn how to manage these emotions and maintain a calm demeanor. In this article, we will provide you with valuable life pro tips (LPTs) on how to avoid getting upset or angry during game sessions, ensuring a more harmonious and pleasurable experience for everyone involved.
1. Focus on the Fun and Social Aspect: Remember that the primary purpose of playing board or card games with your close friends is to have fun and spend quality time together. Instead of viewing it as a competitive battleground, try to emphasize the social element of the activity. Enjoy engaging conversations, laughter, and creating shared memories with your friends. By shifting your focus to the enjoyment of each other’s company, you can minimize the importance placed on winning or losing.
2. Set Realistic Expectations: It’s important to approach each game with realistic expectations. Understand that winning is not always possible, and even the best players can experience losses. Recognize that the outcome of the game is not a reflection of your intelligence or personal worth. Accept that losing is a natural part of the gaming experience and embrace the opportunity to learn and improve for future games.
3. Practice Good Sportsmanship: A crucial aspect of maintaining calm during intense game sessions is to practice good sportsmanship. Treat your fellow players with respect and kindness, regardless of the outcome. Avoid gloating when you win and refrain from criticizing or belittling others when they make mistakes. Remember that everyone is there to have a good time and create a positive environment for everyone involved.
4. Avoid Taking Things Personally: It’s essential to remember that board or card games are ultimately just games. Don’t take the actions and decisions of other players personally. Even if someone targets you or makes a move that negatively impacts your progress, try not to view it as a personal attack. Instead, recognize that their actions are part of the game and strategize accordingly. Maintaining a level-headed mindset will help prevent unnecessary emotional reactions.
5. Communicate Openly and Respectfully: Effective communication is vital in any social setting, including game nights with friends. If something bothers you during a game or you’re feeling frustrated, express your thoughts and emotions calmly and respectfully. Avoid confrontational or aggressive language, as it can escalate tensions further. Instead, focus on using “I” statements to express how certain actions or situations make you feel without directly blaming others. Open and honest communication will help foster understanding and avoid misunderstandings or unresolved frustrations.
6. Take Breaks if Needed: If you find yourself becoming increasingly frustrated or angry during a game, it’s important to recognize when a break is necessary. Stepping away from the game for a few minutes can provide a much-needed breather to collect your thoughts and calm down. Utilize this time to take a walk, practice deep breathing exercises, or engage in a different activity that helps you relax. Returning to the game with a refreshed mindset can make a significant difference in your emotional state.
7. Implement a Friendly Environment: Before starting a game session, discuss and agree upon certain ground rules with your friends to create a friendly and inclusive environment. Encourage positive behaviors such as constructive criticism, patience, and empathy. Make it clear that disrespectful or aggressive behavior will not be tolerated. By fostering an atmosphere of mutual respect and support, you can contribute to a more enjoyable and emotionally stable gaming experience.
8. Learn to Laugh at Yourself: It’s important to maintain a sense of humor and not take yourself too seriously during game sessions. Remember that mistakes and unexpected outcomes are part of the fun. If you make a blunder or experience an unfortunate turn of events, embrace it with a smile and even join in the laughter. By lightening the mood and encouraging a lighthearted atmosphere, you can diffuse tensions and ensure that everyone continues to have a good time.
9. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Developing mindfulness and self-awareness can greatly assist in managing emotions during intense game sessions. Pay attention to your emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations as they arise, without judgment. If you notice yourself becoming frustrated or angry, take a moment to identify the triggers and consider why these reactions occur. By understanding the root causes, you can work towards addressing and managing them more effectively in the future.
10. Remember the Bigger Picture: During intense moments of gameplay, it can be helpful to take a step back and remind yourself of the bigger picture. Reflect on the fact that board or card game sessions are opportunities for bonding, laughter, and enjoyment. Winning or losing a single game is insignificant compared to the long-lasting friendships and cherished memories that are formed through these experiences. By maintaining perspective, you can minimize the impact of temporary negative emotions.
In conclusion, it’s crucial to approach board or card game sessions with friends with a positive mindset and a focus on enjoyment and social connection. By implementing the LPTs mentioned above, such as focusing on the fun and social aspect, practicing good sportsmanship, and communicating openly and respectfully, you can significantly reduce the likelihood of becoming upset or angry during these games. Remember, the goal is to create lasting memories and strengthen friendships, so prioritize the joy and camaraderie over winning or losing. Enjoy your board and card game sessions to the fullest!
It’s great to be passionate. But the whole point is to have fun and bond with your friends. Try and keep a clear head when you start to loose control.
Is there someone who’s pretty chill in that group? Get that person to detect and diffuse the situation (i.e. something like ringing a bell) before things get ugly.
Begin the game with the mindset that you’re there to have fun and hang out with your friends; not necessarily win the game.
Why do you get angry?
I give someone a pound it when they best me, and say “Good fuckin move man, I’m stealing that one for later.”
Your problems are bigger than game-time behavior, sounds like you and your friends have emotional regulation issues, which isn’t uncommon in young men. To get that under control you need a hearty dose of physical activity to expend energy and clear the mind of stress chemicals, it would be a good idea to also have a fulfilling romantic relationship, and some satisfying work that rewards your efforts.
Games are for diversion and entertainment, they are not a substitute for success in life, but if you aren’t achieving that your mind will put far too much emphasis on the pretend potential for victory in these games.
Depends, why are you getting upset? Are other people just ignoring the rules? Are you just shit at games and lose constantly and you never learned how to handle loss? Are you getting mad because you take it super seriously, and your friends are just having fun with it?
The first rule of board games is: play them to have fun. Don’t play to FUCKING WIN AND OBLITERATE THOSE OTHER FOOLS, because if you then DON’T win, you just set yourself up for immense frustration.
If you’re getting frustrated because some people bend the rules, or go “ah, it’s not that bad, just let it slide this once”, either agree always adapt the rules in such a way as a houserule, so everyone can take advantage of it, or ya know… just don’t play those types of games anymore with those people.
Less drinking to start. But if everybody is hyper competitive types, then there’s little that can be done.
Try to think ” I don’t care who is right, but I want to get the most positive outcome from this situation”
It helps, even if another person has cheated because it does not really matter who won the game, but it surely matters who has the best social and emotional regulation skills, because it will help you immensely in your life. And yes, as others said, you might need other more meaningful things in life to be proud of.
Play games that are fun and that don’t involve winning or losing.
Remember that it doesn’t matter who wins the game, you’re there to socialize and maybe have fun. I can’t imagine having strong emotions over a game, why would you be competitive like that with friends
It just means you’re competitive. But always remember it’s okay to show happiness but not anger. Or you won’t have anyone to play board/card games with soon enough. A smart person learns from their own mistakes but a smarter person learns from others mistakes.
Example: We don’t play board games with my little sister because she flips the board before you can win. 😈
Shift your focus from playing/winning the game to enjoying the time with friends. Enjoy the conversation more than the game itself. The game is a distraction from the social time.
There’s healthy competitive and there’s unhealthy competitive; I’d try to unpack who or what happened in your life that makes you react in an unhealthy way. Second, maybe initiate a tradition like “winner brings the beer next time” (or whatever it is y’all consume during game night)… that might defuse the hostility and make it a little more fun for everyone.
Try playing a game where everyone is on the same team working together? The game Pandemic comes to mind.
Watch Day9’s Life of StarCraft and the bit where he talks about what his mother said to him to cope with getting angry while gaming. It stopped Sacriel smashing keyboards, so it seems like pretty sound advice. I’m at work so I can’t provide a link just now I’m afraid. Hopefully some Good Samaritan can sort out the link .
Just remember, it’s just a game! Take a deep breath and unleash your inner zen master. 😄
Don’t be a sore loser.
Perspective.
I’ve played Magic The gathering for a long time (talking … 24 years here), on all levels ranging from international competitions to just laying down some cards with the game being secondary to us chatting, and there is one thing I’ve learned: You are not owed a win. In a game with 4 players your win percentage will be about 25%. You’re winning more than that? you’re playing against the wrong people.
Being more … process instead of goal oriented helps too. Just asking yourself, am I here for those five seconds of endorphine at winning, or an evening where I have a good time?
That said, game rules should be enforced, and cheating should be come down on hard.
But you never mentioned what caused these discussions and arguments.
Rules? Broken Deals? Bad dice luck?
Ayfkm? It’s a game. Relax and have fun.
Care less.. you’re there for fun, not necessarily to win
Grow up. It’s just a game. The outcome doesn’t matter. If you lose, just git gud and try again, you filthy casual.
It’s okay to lose.
Force a smile when you lose, eventually you’ll actually feel it. Sounds crazy but it worked for me.
ETA: Are the arguments over rule disputes or just frustration?
Same thing I tell my children. The fun is the game itself and sometimes you can have fun by watching others play and win and you support them. It’s a hard lesson but my older kids are starting to realize it.
Sometimes I show them the fun daddy has is sharing these moments with them and watching them play, I don’t even need to win or play to have fun as long as they have fun.
Several solutions!
1) Play cooperative games.
2) Play shorter duration board games. 10 minute games may get intense. But if you fail after 10 minutes, you can learn and do better next round.
3) Change your goal from ‘winning’ to ‘having fun’… potentially even try one or two games where your secret objective is to sabotage yourself without letting others know (i.e. pretend to want to win). This is also useful with new games and new people. When a person plays with a group the first time, they are more inclined to want to do it again if they enjoy themselves and more so if they win. You’re casually losing 1 game in order to win future games. 😉
Just keep telling yourself over and over that it doesn’t matter and its not a big deal, and not worth opening your mouth for competitive reasons.
I pretty much have to tell myself this constantly to avoid being an overly competitive douche, it works like half the time, and it makes me slightly less douchey the other half. Its fuckin hard. I love competing and I love winning, and I fucking hate losing.
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1. Its just a game meant for enjoyment
2. There are no stakes.
3. Losing means nothing
4. someone not playing right means nothing.
If you’re getting angry because you want to win, just think “will ANYONE here actually remember who won after a few hours/days?”
If you’re getting angry because someone is being rude/bitchy/aggressive/selfish, then you need to communicate that to your friend/friends.
The person who wins has to pay 1/2 the tab or do the dishes.
I host a number of board game nights both with family and friends. The main purpose is to hang out, catch up, and spend time together away from screens and phones and eat some tasty food. Coop games are good for this but really just having the expectations of playing together and occasionally winning is all we need.
It’s a game. It’s not real. Means nothing. There is no superiority. It’s a F’n game.
Don’t be a fucking child? Lol
Don’t blame to skill what is a luck issue. In other words, would you be frustrated if losing a coin toss? Board games might appear to be skill centered but luck is a huge factor in most of them
Grow up. It’s just a meaningless game. Enjoy the time spent with others instead of having to win.
I had the same problem with pro sports. Then one day after getting mad at my team I realized, Its just a game. Still gotta go to work Monday. Still gotta pay bills. All my problems still exist. No point in self sabotaging your personal time. Its like a switch flicked off.
Don’t be immature? It’s a game lol
Just a thought. Are you drinking alcohol during? Could be part of the problem…
Remember that when you get angry, this is toxic masculinity. I assume you will want to date girls, if you have toxic masculinity girls will not want to hang out with you.
Prioritize your fun and friendship over the artificial temporary feeling of winning. When you realize it’s just that it’s easier to just let things go that don’t go your way.
Stop playing these board / card games if they are a trigger for you.
It’s a game. There’s no true outcome except to have fun and nothing to be gained from either winning or losing.
This is EXACTLY why I don’t play games. Too many bad sports.