#ParentingDecision #FinancialConcerns #FamilyPlanning
Hey everyone! 👋 I need some advice and perspective on a major decision my wife and I are currently wrestling with. We’ve got one adorable kiddo under 2, and we’ve always dreamed of having two children. But lately, I can’t shake this doom and gloom outlook on the future when it comes to finances and raising a family.
Here’s where my head’s at:
– Our combined income is around $190k, which is decent.
– We’re currently paying off a $380k mortgage on our house.
– But with the rising cost of living and property prices, I’m starting to wonder if we can actually afford to have a second child.
Questions swirling in my mind:
– Can we provide a comfortable life for two kids and still give them opportunities they deserve?
– Will they struggle to afford their own homes in the future, and will we need to pitch in to help?
– Is inherited wealth becoming a necessity for our kids’ futures, and can we even provide that?
I’ve always envisioned a family of four, but these concerns are taking a toll on my decision-making. Am I overreacting? Or are my worries justified?
What do you think? Any advice or tips on navigating this tough decision? I’d love to hear your thoughts or personal experiences. Let’s help each other out! 💬💡#ParentingDilemma #FinancialPlanning #FamilyGoals
I think a key question would be if you already have a property or if you are renting?
Can we afford to raise 2 children in this day and age? **If you own a PPOR that can house them, the other costs should be manageable.**
I’m also concerned for the future prospects of my children actually being able to afford property in the future. Will we have to support them in that venture too? **You don’t have to outrun the bear, you just have to outrun the other hiker. If you’ve doing ok, your kids likely do ok. The best thing you can do is pay for the uni fees.**
Is inherited wealth going to be a necessity for our kids futures now and will we be able to supply that? **Anyone who is financially responsible will be able to pass on something their children.**
Mid 30s male here,
Two kids under 3 and planning on having a third. Have 180k owing on PPOR worth around 750k.
Single income household currently, 100k income. Partner will return to PT work in some months however will only bring in around 30k.
I also have anxiety, so I get it, but you literally cannot plan for something so far In the future.
You don’t know what financial situation you will be in when your kids are adults (20+ years) and trying to make decisions now for 20 years in the future (within reason) is going to hold you back.
I want to be able to provide my kids with security, which I will do by gifting my kids a portion of their inheritance early.
Some crucial details missing from your post- your age and whether you guys own or rent, and if so, how much is left on the mortgage?
My advice would be that if you do own, and have 50% or more of your mortgage paid off (or in equity) you should be fine to have 2-3 kids, assuming you are frugal and have reasonable financial knowledge.
Two kids can share a room until they are 10. My kids had their own room and still shared because they wanted to
It depends whether you have already have a PPOR. At $190k that’s almost $11k per month take home salary. I think it’s doable, but it mostly depends on how much you pay to keep a roof over your ahead.
Second and third add little cost and bring lots of joy.
We have two (1 and 3) 42/35 on ~$130k combined (in Adelaide-ish), own our PPOR purchased pre-COVID property insanity.
It’s a bit tight, but we make it work. My income will increase when the kids go to school as I currently work 3 days a week. Husband takes overtime or away work when he can.
My best advice is have a financial plan, our second was a complete surprise and a shock and there were a lot of conversations about whether we could afford it. We’ve made it work,
And wouldn’t be without her.
Im planning one 1 and done in our 2 bedroom apartment. We are close to the best public schools in our city, university, train station, parks
Just go with it, do what makes you happy
Money works itself
I’m just about to have my 4th
You just make it work! They will do the same when they start their adult lives
Just give them the knowledge to succeed and be happy
Hey there is some bright news globally – Biden stepped down, Harris has raised the most money ever for her presidential campaign in 24 hours… There is a chance Trump will not get back in.
Look for the positives.
If you want a second kid, go for it. You already have all the things you need from having the first!
Things are likely to get worse before they get better.
*If* they get better…
🙁
We were only able to have the one child.
I’d give a fair chunk of my net worth to be able to give her a sibling. Wasn’t to be. YMMV.
As a parent of 3. You make it work. Don’t think about it purely from a financial sense. Sure if you’re struggling to keep food on the table for a family of 3 adding a fourth isn’t going to make that any better. But if you are comfortable right now and can still afford mortgage, bills, and groceries while your wife is off work then go for it.
Having property that you are paying off is a better position to be in than renting. And at your income you are well above half the country (median full-time salary) in income.
Might be an unpopular opinion on this sub, but if you’re not considering the state of the world (environmentally) into the decision to have kids I think you’re mistaken.
And it will certainly affect their finances too- natural disasters causing insurance costs to go through the roof (unless your property is deemed uninsurable), food shortages causing food prices to go up etc
Quality of life will be on a decline from here on out.
Some of the comments here are very different to my experience. For context, we live in Perth, renting, with 2 kids (6 & 8). Rent is $550/week.
Our income is $90k and I would definitely say we’re very comfortable. The kids do private piano lessons, sport lessons, guides/scouts. We eat really well, have one date night out a week and do a yearly holiday. We put away $500 a week to savings. We do a yearly weekend away with each child and one parent (that does come out of the big savings pot).
Obviously, different strokes for different folks, but I would say you definitely have enough income.
We stopped at 2. General stuff isn’t that much more expensive tbh. We use a lot of hand me downs between the two. We don’t really buy flashy clothes etc. the cost of the two will rise though as they get older and get into brands, gaming etc.
It was the childcare which stung and will last for 4-5 years depending on how far apart they are.
After having 2 I would have loved more. But we stopped at 2 because of financial decisions and living in Sydney.
I would have the 2nd in your shoes. The memories are priceless for us.
Life is expensive and hard – kids make it more fun. You won’t regret it.
The stress of raising a kid is crazy, let alone two. Plus financial on top of that. I’ve stopped at one.
We had two close together in age (~2yrs apart) and it was hard, but not one regret. We were renting, had modest and sometimes non existent savings, both worked hard and paid a bunch in childcare.
All of that though, built the foundations for where we are now. We became *really* discerning with our money, so the savings got better and better. Then when eldest started school, what we were pouring into childcare we moved to savings. We did so many savings tricks and eventually we managed to put a deposit down on a very modest first home just before the 2nd started school. We had open and honest discussions about saving with the kids, so they understood the goals.
Now they are a little older and life is so much easier now. Sure mortgages suck (our experience of renting sucked more) but there’s no more childcare draining our expenses, and the kids are old enough to travel with us and enjoy it.
TLDR: have the kids you want to have as a family. Know that the ‘hard’ can be temporary and even an opportunity at times.
Without sounding too blunt, I think the answer is completely up to you, and what I mean by that is if you have the mindset of “I want 2 kids, and we will make it work, I’ll do what needs to be done and some compromises will need to be made” then you’ll make it work and it’ll be fine. If you have the mindset of “I can’t afford this, I don’t know if I still want 2 kids, what does the future hold” then yes you’re probably better off sticking with 1; if you really wanted 2 it wouldn’t even be a question.
My dad shared a room with 3 brothers and the sister got her own room in a 2 bedroom house (she slept in the dining room sun room (it’s tiny). My brother and I shared a room until we were 13
God stop worrying about your kids buying properties. Anything could happen by then.
You seem fine financially for another one tbh. Not sure what your problem is.
Your concerns are valid, especially given today’s economic challenges. With a combined income of $190k and a $380k mortgage, you’re in a decent financial position. To decide if you can afford a second child, create a detailed budget to understand your current and future expenses, including childcare, education, and general living costs.
Rising property prices are a concern, but building a solid financial foundation and teaching your children financial literacy can help. While inherited wealth may be more important in the future, it’s not the only way to support your kids.
Ultimately, if having a second child is something you truly want, consider both the financial and emotional aspects. Consulting a financial advisor can help you create a plan that aligns with your goals. Feel free to ask if you have more questions!
I have one kid and entertainment/holidays have often been a challenge – no in-built playmate. Also sad knowing they will be alone once I’m gone. A sibling is nice.
There are so many benefits to a sibling. I guess yes they do cost more but you make do. I have two and I became way more relaxed after I had two kids. I realise it does cost a little more but I think it’s worth stretching the budget to accommodate. You may have to cut down on some extracurriculars for the older child but the companionship and the friendship of a sibling is worth the small sacrifices you may have to make.
When we had an 18 month old child we took him on a holiday to QLD where my parents lived.
My parents told us about this great restaurant we had to visit while they looked after the little one, something we rarely got to do at home.
So, we had this amazing 10 course degustation menu with matching wines for every course, and we had a great time. For some reason my wife was glowing. It might have been all the wine. One thing lead to another, and well…turns out the glowing was actually her ovulating, and now we have two kids.
True story.
Less discussion and more living in the moment 😜
One of the many reasons to not have any kids are all the reasons you mentioned. I am in a very similar financial position to you. I just don’t see how we could afford a kid both financially and time wise and still be able to afford the things I like to do in life. Plus when you look at the lack of climate change action taking place, I dont think it’s a good time to have any kids at all. But atleast by having 1, you set then up for a bit more financial freedom by being able to inherit your house
I’m in the same position (5 month old with plans for a second in 1-2 years + well slightly larger mortgage & slightly less combined household income)
& honestly the cost of living/future of society has never affected my decisions around kids, I’m 30 & my parents could never have predicted what society would look like now, when I was born & nor can we say what things will look like in the future.
Unless you’re unsure if you can physically afford a second child or it would significantly reduce your whole families standard of living, then who cares, whether the world goes to shit & we end up living off the grid in the bush or on an island or society becomes extremely advanced or things continue the way that they historically have, I’ll still love my kids & we can play & adventure/do activities as a family unit, that’s all I care about.
Look at money bags here with one child already
Two kids isn’t twice the price. Do it – have them young together and you’ll move through the financial phases consistently.
Is this based on your own finances or stuff you’re hearing?
If it’s the latter, turn off the news.
I have 3 on 280,000. It’s a struggle – I wish I didn’t have three though love them obviously.
I decided to have a second kid….that 2nd kid ended up being twins!!
FMD – $190k and 380k mortgage.
You can do two kids with one hand tied behind your back. Go for three.
Ignore all the doomsayers – kids are awesome, and I bet your little-un would love a little brother or sister (or two).
In the post-apocalyptic wasteland it will be handy to have someone to watch their back
I have one kid, having just one allows us to travel and do things we couldn’t otherwise do.
If you didn’t throw out a lot of goods for your first child, you will probably save a lot of money with your second child.
From clothes to purchases to a pram. If you time it right, you could even reuse the stroller.
The biggest cost will be child care costs and if you get any rebates
Inherited wealth will be a necessity I believe.
On $190k, I’d think that the difficult outlook lies in the world going to shit rather than your finances.
Every child is a struggle. But do you see yourself five years hence looking at your new little toddler and wishing you’d never brought them into the world?
It’ll be hard. But you’ll never regret it.