#CorporateSpeak #CorporateCulture #Authenticity #Humanity #WorkLife
Have you ever found yourself sitting in a meeting, listening to your colleagues spout off corporate jargon and meaningless buzzwords, and just felt your blood boil? You’re not alone. The artificial nature of the corporate world, with its awful culture and corporate speak, can be infuriating. It’s like everyone suddenly forgets how to speak like a normal, authentic human being.
Sometimes I just want to claw at them, shake them, and just ask “you can’t be for real with this. Come on, talk to me as a human, not as an (a fellow) employee, or god forbid manager or boss, there’s gotta be some humanity left in there”. Because honestly, corporate speak barely makes them seem human. I refuse to believe anyone actually believes in the shit they spew daily at work, and yet, here we are. I can’t even really form a coherent rant on this because it’s been bugging me so much lately.
Let’s dig a little deeper into why corporate speak is so detestable and how we can combat it in our own workplaces.
## Why Corporate Speak is the Worst
1. **Lack of Authenticity**: Corporate speak often involves using vague, buzzwords and phrases that lack any genuine meaning. It’s all about sounding impressive rather than actually communicating effectively.
2. **Dehumanizing**: When we speak in corporate jargon, we lose touch with our humanity. We become robots regurgitating meaningless phrases rather than connecting on a human level.
3. **Miscommunication**: Instead of clarity and understanding, corporate speak can lead to confusion and misinterpretation. It’s like we’re speaking a different language than our colleagues.
## Examples of Corporate Speak
– “Let’s touch base offline on that.”
– “We need to leverage our synergies.”
– “Let’s circle back to that action item.”
Do these phrases make you cringe as much as they make me cringe? It’s like nails on a chalkboard every time I hear them.
## How to Combat Corporate Speak
1. **Lead by Example**: Be the change you want to see in the workplace. Speak authentically and encourage others to do the same.
2. **Call it Out**: When you hear someone using corporate jargon, politely ask them to clarify what they mean in plain language. It can help break the cycle of meaningless communication.
3. **Encourage Authenticity**: Create a culture in your workplace where authenticity is valued over corporate speak. Embrace open, honest communication.
At the end of the day, we all just want to be heard and understood. Let’s ditch the corporate speak and start speaking like the authentic humans we are. It’s time to bring some humanity back into the workplace. Who’s with me? 🙋♂️
In conclusion, the artificial nature of the corporate world and the awful culture of corporate speak can be draining and dehumanizing. It’s time for a change. Let’s communicate authentically, connect on a human level, and create a more genuine workplace culture. Together, we can make a difference.
I feel this so deeply it’s a daily massive wank fest and I hate not being able to be myself – you have to turn into some shit version of yourself to fit in and given we are spending hours and hours there of our lives just to barely get by, that version becomes so exhausting.
The problem is different people have different tolerances for rudeness and insults. Suppose “corporate speak” didn’t exist. I guarantee you that I would let loose with a lot of choice words. But I wouldn’t go racial or sexist. Some people would use the B word and find nothing wrong with it. Other people would go racial.
So it wouldn’t work in a business context if everyone was swearing and insulting and talking shit about each other. The closest you would get is a more hands on workplace like a restaurant. I imagine the military is rough. But all of that has a “family” vibe to it. Working in a large corporation they aren’t your family and shouldn’t be (maybe work family if they treat you well) If you could say what you wanted and do whatever you wanted everyone else could too and it would end up being a mess of whoever made the worst threats or talked the most shit
So be careful what you wish for
it helps to realize that so long as your are in certain environments, this will continue, and also it’s possible to remove yourself from said environments, although usually at great cost. it’s up to a certain person whether or not to pay that cost, but it still is possible.
even knowing that others walk through that door, whether or not you walk through it, will both keep that separation up and maintain a sense of self separate from those expectations.
as someone who left an abusive and manipulative cult, i do not use that comparison lightly. for i remember the false promises, the guilt trips, the gaslighting, the effort never returned, those who ultimately don’t even remember my name, those who are clear suckups, those who are so blinded they aren’t even aware they are being suckered, the weird historical quirks that you don’t really learn until after you leave, the prebunking that turns out to have been against your personal interest, the low quality products and the weird insistence to stay on script with one group, and just coming up with the oddest things with another, and also the genuine cool moments of actually having fun plus connecting with others.
both these things exist within a cult, and the corporate world, and they essentially serve the same function. to keep you around, far after you want to leave.
I recently escaped that. I would ask questions and get an entire paragraph that said nothing, and did not answer my question all the time.
A couple years ago I was working for a small design/build company. There was literally like 7 people total. So much corporate lingo bs.. there was only one other person who wasn’t a total twat.
ived noticed that corporation training videos expect you to be happy and smile all the time, but sadly in reality, that’s just an act and cannot be achieved all the time 24\7.
I work in pre-sales and it honest to god makes my skin crawl when my boss forces his fake laugh for when I client makes an average joke, like its the funniest thijg hes ever heard, but with no soul or laughter behind his eyes.
Idk if it’s been any different in the past, but current corporate environment is eerily similar to what my Russian granddad told me about the USSR Communist party when he was young. Apparently, no one spoke “normally”, but in the jargon approved by the party leaders, everybody said what the big wigs wanted to hear, no matter how silly or ridiculous that might be… And everyone had to plaster a smile on their faces and feign enthusiasm.
I was studying for a math major when I fell in love with accounting and ended up a business major instead. Whoops.
Turns out I am far too autistic to play bullshit pattycake. The more I realized that the corporate world gave off major ick vibes on many levels, the more I deliberately dragged my accent around to knock the childhood church/school proper off of it.
I was working in fast food to pay rent all through college, so by the time I finally graduated I had something a lot closer to the accent of my coworkers. It no longer sounds proper and does not match a suit in an office kinda job. But I do sound like all the kindest people I’ve ever known, the ones I look up to most.
My degree has just sat in a drawer collecting dust, and that’s how I like it. The version of me that wanted to hustle and chase paper to stack would’ve eventually snapped, either jumped in the river or let the psychopath genes have free reign. Like the alternate universe version of me is a decade into a career playing with speculative derivatives at a hedge fund, enacts subtle revenge plans on my dad as a hobby, is rabidly childfree and is coping with the childhood PTSD by abusing flavor of the week style boyfriends.
Real me is disabled and living in poverty but very happy to have enough time and mobility to run errands on the bus for my elderly auntie. Raised two stepkids who hugged me and unprompted took my side in the divorce, though obviously they had to stay with their dad. Started nannying for cousins when the youngest was 2yo. He just turned 4, sometimes calls me Cousin Mama, comes over for a slumberparty a few times a month so his mom can go be an adult now and then. He thinks I’m his super best friend, we build lego and watch cartoons. And his older sibling trusts me with their teenager secrets, says I’m weird “but I trust weird people more than normal ones anyway.” We loan each other novels, I’m waiting on the next book of Fablehaven.
It’s the 1984 thing where language shapes and limits our ability to understand ideas and form opinions. The corporate speech is designed to be business positive so “mass firings” becomes “downsizing” etc. I don’t think it’s a conspiracy btw just a collective result of corpos doing bad things and needing to not feel like bad people.
Great dialogue. Let’s parking lot this until Saturday’s Zoom call.
nobody believes it, we are all in on the grift, the sooner you accept that the sooner you can come to peace with it. it’s not all that bad, we are all robbing these multi billion dollar companies blind and the corporate speech is just one of the tools that enables it
Compartmentalize and alcoholize . Simple as 🤣