#FamilyRift #NiecesAndNephews #BedSharing
Hey there! I understand the frustration you’re feeling over your nieces and nephews sleeping in your bed without your permission and coming home to a messy room. It’s completely valid to want your personal space respected, especially when you’re paying rent and doing your fair share of housework. Here are some tips and advice on how to navigate this situation and potentially resolve the family rift over this issue:
**Setting Boundaries:**
– Sit down with your parents and calmly communicate your boundaries regarding your personal space and belongings. Let them know that while you don’t mind your nieces and nephews sleeping in your bed when you’re not home, you expect your room to be respected and kept clean in your absence.
– Be firm but polite in expressing your needs and expectations. It’s important to advocate for yourself and make it clear that you value your personal space.
– Consider setting specific guidelines for when and how your bed can be used by your nieces and nephews, such as making sure the bed is properly cleaned and bed sheets are washed after each use.
**Conflict Resolution:**
– It’s understandable that tensions may rise when family members have differing opinions on a situation. Try to approach conflicts with an open mind and a willingness to listen to others’ perspectives.
– Avoid getting defensive or engaging in heated arguments. Instead, focus on finding common ground and coming to a mutual understanding.
– Seek a mediator or counselor if conversations with your family members become too emotional or unproductive. A neutral third party can help facilitate communication and provide a fresh perspective on the situation.
**Handling Criticism:**
– It can be tough when your family members don’t support your feelings or belittle your concerns. Remember that it’s okay to stand up for yourself and prioritize your well-being.
– Stay true to your values and beliefs, even if others disagree with you. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to advocate for your own happiness and comfort.
– Surround yourself with supportive friends or allies who understand your perspective and provide encouragement during challenging times.
**Finding a Compromise:**
– Consider finding a compromise that addresses both your needs and your family’s preferences. Maybe you can designate a separate space for your nieces and nephews to sleep in when you’re not home to avoid further conflicts.
– Explore alternative solutions, such as purchasing a separate bed or setting up a temporary sleeping area for the kids in a different room.
– Negotiate with your family members to find a middle ground that respects everyone’s boundaries and fosters a harmonious living environment.
In conclusion, it’s essential to prioritize open communication, set clear boundaries, and seek a compromise to resolve conflicts over your nieces and nephews sleeping in your bed. Remember that it’s okay to assert your needs and expectations in a respectful and assertive manner. By addressing the issue proactively and seeking collaborative solutions, you can navigate the family rift and foster a positive relationship with your loved ones. Best of luck! 🌟
NTA. You’re paying rent for your room – that does NOT mean they can stash kids in there.
NTA. You are paying rent and deserve to be asked…and at the very least, come home to clean bed sheets.
NTA
not only are you paying rent, but it’s a reasonable expectation to not have someone sleeping in your bed, or being in your room, without letting you know.
the list of “what it’s?” that a 4 year old could get into of a 22 year olds is unsafe AF
NTA. Time to look for new living arrangements. Actions speak louder than words. Their action say that they need your room for the grandkids!
NTA you pay rent! But try and move out if you can. They won’t appreciate how you help them out until that help is gone.
NTA. Your family is full of AHs, and I’d look into getting out of there.
nta move out or put a lock on your door. they don’t respect you and are treating you like a child instead of a adult.
NTA. Ask your parents why they don’t let the niblings stay in and eat food in thier bed, if it’s *really* ‘not such a big deal’?
OP, sounds like you’re going to have to strip your bed before every overnight trip from now on. If your parents think leaving your sheets dirty and food in your bed is “no big deal”, then don’t trust them with your sheets.
Maybe it’s high time you start leaving food bits on the couch, and if your parents protest, tell them you’re living up to the standards that they set. If your parents are allowed to leave dirty sheets and food on your bed, then surely you are allowed to leave food and whatever on couches, chairs, etc. Right?
I’m particularly incensed that they called you a “neat freak.” If someone had called me that over an individual I didn’t invite into my room leavings food in my bed, I would’ve fired back with, “I’m not a neat freak, you’re all apparently slobs who don’t know that food attracts bugs and rodents.” I probably would’ve continued by saying thy clearly don’t respect me as a human being if they can’t comply with basic human courtesy. In short, I would’ve blown up big time on all the AHs of your family.
INFO what’s stopping you from moving out? Would a studio/ efficiency apt. be affordable?
I would withhold rent.
Nooooooooooooooot the a h.
You aren’t mad about the family using your bed. You complaining about stains, paci’s and FOOD BEING LEFT IN IT. For 24-48 hours?!?!?!?
Holy jebus. That’s just …. wrong.
NTA.
NTA
I’d like to know what your sister’s reaction was after you said that.
So I’m assuming that those kids were your Sister (f31)’s???
Tell her if she’s gonna be a bum and let her kids run wild in your room WHICH you pay rent on, then she can pay your rent and they can do whatever they want, not your fault she’s an irresponsible mother.
Also tell your parents that you don’t pay rent for nothing.
The best thing you can do is move out, i know it’s easier said than done, but you should at least consider it if your parents are not gonna step up.
NTA. You’re paying rent. Why not put a lock on your bedroom door?
NTA.
Where does the nephew sleep when he’s over and you are home? Or does he only sleep over when you are away?
As you’ve stated, you pay rent, buy your own food, etc. That means you should have a reasonable expectation of your stuff/room being left alone. BUT typically situations with family, especially parents, makes it hard for them to accept the change in relationship. If moving out isn’t an option, there are other approaches you can take.
* Put a lock on your door. This might create other drama though, so only you know if it’s “worth it”. If you do, I’d suggest a deadbolt style.
* Strip the bed of sheets so there isn’t an easily already made bed for them to let the child sleep in.
* Go passive aggressive/petty and set your room up to make it awkward as heck. Buy some cheap dildos, handcuffs, etc and have them placed visibly but “trying to hide” around the room, but especially in your bed, on the bed post, bedside table, etc. Make it awkward as heck. If they question you, how were you to know they were going to let a child in your room while you were away? Nothing that the child could actually hurt themselves with though, because they are innocent in this.
* Get a camera for your room (like a nanny cam that’s in a teddy bear). Only have it on when you leave, so you can see what’s happening.
NTA
You pay rent, so it is your space whether you’re home or not. If they want to use your bed, they should as first. You can say yes, if they clean up after themselves and wash the bedding, or you can say no. You could even say you’re going to put a lock on your door.
**However** – when people say “I pay rent” sometimes they mean they pay a token amount, like $100/month. If this is you, your parents might turn around and say that if you’re going to bring the law into the argument, they want a **fair** rent. Depending on how hard you push, they might ask you to leave, and now you’re stuck paying a lot more than token rent.
I guess what I’m saying is that you’re completely in the right here, but is it worth rocking the boat? **I** would say yes, but your situation might be different.
Put a lock on your door.
NTA. If you pay rent, no one should be accessing your room without your consent (this is true in all cases but you being a paying tenant is way worse). I would get a lock for the door and lock it when you’re not there. Also, try to move out as soon as you can.
Nta
I would buy a huge veiny dildo and put it on your bed right in the middle of the bed. Every single time you leave for an night
NTA. In fact, you’re the only non-AH in this situation. Really, if the house isn’t childproof, kids shouldn’t even be visiting.
NTA. Wow, they set an incredibly low bar for “neatness”. The state they left your room and bed in is just gross. And rude.
NTA. Even if you weren’t paying rent, your personal belongings are yours and yours alone. The fact that your parents didn’t have the decency to at least make your bed and clean up the messes the little ones made screams lack of respect. You’re not asking for anything other than your own things to be respected, especially in a room that you pay for. If you’re not able to afford to move out on your own or with a friend in the near future, I think my next step would be putting a lock on my door and/or closet door and putting all the important things locked up in there. Maybe even do that in the meantime if able to start looking for your own place.
Also, sounds like your nieces and nephews are soon going to be monster children who think everything in the world is there for them to use, touch and do whatever they want with. Not going to be fun being around them at all.
NTA. Get a lockable door knob.
NTA. Tell your sister she’ll be covering a share of the rent every time her kid stays in your room. And charge your parents a cleaning fee for allowing use of it and leaving messes. But honestly, move out if you’re able. Your family all sound very disrespectful to you.
As you pay rent, no, they have no right to do this. And even if you didn’t pay rent, this is about basic respect! They should be ASKING you, first of all. Then they shouldn’t be allowing your nephew to eat in your room. And OBVIOUSLY they should clean up/ wash your sheets!
But as you DO pay rent…. your room should be off limits.
NTA.
Girl, if you have the means and money, move out. Your family doesn’t respect you or your things at all. They wouldn’t like it if it was your child going into their beds and you not cleaning up after them.
Nta you’re paying rent. Its no longer just your parents’ room to share out as they wish. If you don’t want to move out, then get a lock and lock the door when you leave.
NTA
Why are the kids allowed to eat in bed? Who does that? It’s gross. What will your parents do if your nephew accidentally wets your bed? Flip the mattress and let it be? It’s all sound giving me the icks and that’s even without the fact that your paying rent and your room should be private.
Not washing the sheets after is incredibly disrespectful. Your parents are wrong.. NTAÂ
NTA. Stop paying rent and when they complain tell them they are overreacting, to lighten up and you aren’t paying for a room you have to share with your niblings.
Your parents and sister are pigs. Who leaves ANYONE’S bed full of crumbs and other crap.
If you can’t move out right now, try stripping your bed and putting all the bedclothes in the laundry next time you go away. Your family is so lazy they’ll probably find someplace else to stow the kid.
I can’t believe how people routinely defend the indefensible in these posts.