#InheritingCar #FamilyDrama #GrandparentsWill
Hey there! I can understand how tough and confusing this situation can be for you and your family. Inheriting a valuable asset like a classic car can definitely stir up emotions and spark heated debates. In this post, I’ll break down the different aspects of this dilemma and offer some advice on how to navigate through it.
### The Legalities and Emotions of Inheriting the Car
First off, let’s address the legality of the situation. Since your son is underage, it’s important to look into the legal process of inheriting a valuable asset like a classic car. In many cases, a guardian or trustee will need to manage the inheritance until the minor reaches a certain age.
On the emotional side, it’s understandable that tensions are running high within the family. Inheritance can often bring out the best and worst in people, especially when there are significant disparities in what each family member receives.
### The Value of the Inherited Car
The fact that the classic car is valued at over $70,000 adds another layer of complexity to this situation. It’s a substantial sum of money, and it’s natural for your sister and other grandkids to feel that the distribution of assets is unfair. But at the same time, your son’s close relationship with your father and the sentimental value of the car to him shouldn’t be overlooked.
### Finding a Fair Solution
So, how can you approach this situation in a way that is fair to everyone involved? Here are a few potential solutions to consider:
– Seek Legal Advice: Consult with a legal professional to understand the precise legal requirements for managing the inheritance of the car on behalf of your son.
– Open Family Dialogue: Attempt to open up a dialogue within the family to discuss the emotional and financial implications of the inheritance. An open, honest conversation can often help to alleviate tensions and find common ground.
– Consider Compromise: Is there a way to reach a compromise that satisfies everyone? Perhaps your son could agree to share a portion of the car’s value with his cousins, or an arrangement could be made that benefits all parties involved.
### Dealing with the Emotional Fallout
Lastly, it’s essential to acknowledge the emotional toll that these discussions can take on a family. It’s clear that everyone involved is deeply passionate about the situation, and emotions can run high. As challenging as it may be, approaching the matter with empathy and understanding can go a long way in finding a resolution that feels fair to everyone.
In the end, it’s crucial to remember that family relationships are invaluable, and maintaining harmony within the family is paramount. While inheritance disputes can be tough to navigate, they also provide an opportunity for growth and understanding within the family.
I hope that this advice has given you some strategies for approaching this complex situation. Remember to take things one step at a time and prioritize open communication and understanding among your family members. Best of luck in finding a resolution that brings peace to everyone involved!🚗🤝
YTA. Your son is entirely correct. It’s not up to you to distribute his property and subvert his grandpa’s wishes. You are supposed to act in your son’s best interests. How would those be served by your plan?
YTA. Maybe your daughters and your sisters kids should have tried harder for a relationship with their grandpa. It was his wish to leave the car to your son. If you make him sell the car, he will resent you.
YTA
>My son is very upset about this, he says grandpa left him the car so it’s his car
As he should be. That car was left to him specifically. Regardless of how your other relatives *feel,* fairness isn’t legally binding in a will. If you make him sell that car – good luck with dealing with years of resentment.
YTA. your father didn’t have to leave your kids anything at all, so you should be grateful for the fact that he chose to do so. it was entirely your father’s choice. not yours.
YTA. It’s not your son’s fault that his grandfather left him more than he left his other grandchildren. Why are you punishing him for it?
YTA. You may think it is unfair, I might even agree with you, but our opinions do not count in this game. It is your father’s will. He wanted the car to go to your son. You have no right what so ever to try and influence your son to sell the car and give the proceeds to his sister and his cousins. If you try, I really hope you get called out on it and stopped in your tracks. If that sort of thing were possible and legal, it would have no point to make a will.
YWBTA
It doesn’t matter how sexist you think he was being. He left the car to your son. Full stop. All of you are selfish and AH, and I’m willing to bet grandpa knew your greedy butts would sell it.
Holy crap YTA. Your kid shouldn’t ever forgive you if you continue with this.
YTA
Even if he sells the car you can’t force him to give up the money.
The car was clearly given to him as a sentimental item and a shared interest. It was given to your son because he was the only one if the family likely to appreciate and maintain it. It’s like if you father had a Steinway grand piano – he’d give it to the grandchild who played piano, not the grandchild with an interest in pottery. And as long as your son doesn’t sell the car, he’s not actually reaping that 70K in inheritance. He doesn’t somehow have 70K to spend on college or anything else. He’s just got a very sentimental, valuable car.
Also, while the other kids got cash, your son got an ongoing bill. That car is going to cost him money to keep registered, insured, inspected, and maintained as a drivable vehicle. Your son didn’t get 70K, he got something without a defined tangible value that will cost him hundreds of dollars every year.
YTA And I hope he goes none contact with you, so you threaten if you don’t get what you want.
YTA, what’s fair and what is set out in the will as your father’s wishes are 2 different things. Forcing your son to sell a car that his grandpa wanted him to have is a pretty crappy thing to do. Threatening his college fund is also a crappy thing to do. If you think the will is so unfair, contest it in court. But when you get shot down, leave your son’s car and college fund alone.
YTA, it is his car, you have no right to sell it without his consent especially since it seems to mean a lot more to him then the monetary value it holds. Is the car and 16k all there is? If not why don’t you reduce the amount you and your sister get and give it to your kids? Why is it your son that is responsible for fixing this situation he didn’t create nor ask for.
YTA
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Let the kid keep the car. Not his fault grandpa liked him more than the other kids.
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Your punishing him for what his grandpa did. You are teaching him to hate you and the other grand kids because you are trying to force him to give away his inheritance so that the others can get more.
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He will leave your family behind later in life.
YTA
This was your father’s decision as to who inherits what, not yours. You’re a huge AH for this.
YTA. Fair doesn’t always mean equal financial value.
YTA
Why do you hate your only son so much?
YTA
WTF? It’s your son’s car – grandpa gets to decide and he decided. Why don’t you teach them all that life isn’t always even Steven, there are going to be unfair moments, get over it. Why would you even consider dividing up his college money? Sister needs to get over it too – dad made his decision!!!!!!! YTA (and so is sister) These kids are looking at how you all are reacting to dad’s decision – teach them wisely!!!!!!!!!!!
YTA. Shame on you. He will never forgive you.
YTA
It’s your son’s car, he was gifted it in your fathers will, all the other grandchildren got a share each of his wealth, yes the car might be worth more in money than what the other got, but I do not believe your son wants to sell it anyway because it’s a part of his grandfather and they probably shared some sweet and lovely memories in and around that car, like taking rides together,fixing it up if something needed to be fixed.
It’s absolutely not fair for your son if you decide that it’s not fair, your father made his will,it’s been executed to his wishes, and for you to divide up your sons college fund to “offset the unfairness” is beyond any logical thinking.
Hopefully your mom will see the sense in this and make sure the car stays put until your son is old enough to legally own/use the car. And if you do go through with your threats about his college fund then I hope someone else in the family will see the huge cost it will be to your son’s education and help him to achieve his dreams since you apparently don’t care about his future at all
I absolutely cannot understand the “unfair” inheiritance people.
**THE POINT OF A WILL IS NOT A FAIR DISTRIBUTION OF ASSETS.**
The point of a will is so a persons assets and belongings go where THEY WANT THEM TO.
Your father made his decision and you and your sister are **assholes** from trying to force equality instead of honoring your late father’s wishes.
You’re doubly an asshole for looking for ways to “force him to sell it” and threatening his college education over it.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
YTA YTA YTA and you and your sister are both entitled brats.
YTA
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If you steal his inheritage, don’t expect him to have any relationship with him after he turns 18 and can kick you out of his life.
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“I have money saved for his college, I am almost considering telling him that his college money will be divided up amongst his sisters and cousins if he refuses to sell the car.” .. you CAN do that. And it will be just the same as stealing his car. IF you do it, you won’t be in his life any more.
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This is not about money, this is his remembrance of the granddad he loved and was close with. HE made the effort to spend time with grandpa, the girls did not.
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So: **LET HIM KEEP grandpa’s last gift. Or lose your son. This is NOT about money, and he will NEVER forgive you.**
YTA. It is in your father’s will. If your son could get an attorney at his age I would encourage it. This is the meanest thing in the world. Are you only mad because your sister is LIVID??? Your dad and your son shared a very special bond, and your son is still a KID. You will ruin your relationship with your son if you force him to sell this vehicle. Your sister needs to accept this, and so do you. What an awful thing you are doing.
YWBTA.. same as if all the girls were gifted gmas jewelry and were forced to sell the jewelry, so it’s fair.. You are acting super entitled to something that isn’t yours and will never be yours.
YTA – I’m guessing you’re leaving out some reasons why he willed this to your son specifically.
But the one thing you’re not leaving out is his grandfather probably left it to the kid because he knew the rest of your clan would sell it for the money, but the grandson would use and enjoy it.
YWBTA: Doesn’t matter what you think is fair. It is what it is. He left the car to your son. It belongs to him. By your own words, he was very close to his Grandfather. You shouldn’t punish him by trying to force him to sell the car and it would be a total dick move to divvy up his college money. Life’s not always fair – all the kids, and apparently the adults, need to learn this fact. Stop focusing on what YOU think “should happen” and accept what DID happen.
YTA. Here is the reality of the court system. He can kick up a fuss and tie you and your family up in the courts over the car. A good lawyer will then push it till he hits 18, then you truly do not have any right to do anything about it. Plus then you have to eat those court fees too.
Using a college fund against him is disgusting. It’s not the kids job to fix the adults mistakes!
YTA and your sister is also TAH – GET REAL
Your father had final wishes written down in a legal document that he paid to have drafted.
He gave each grandkid something, in the case of the granddaughters it was cash. In the case of your son it was a car. By your own words he has a strong close bond with your son and not with his granddaughters.
There is no ‘what’s right’ or ‘fair’ in someone’s will; it’s literally their FINAL wishes. He could’ve also left ALL of them diddly squat and donated it to a charity.
But he choose to do what he did, and now you and your sister because you perceive it as somehow ‘unfair’ are attempting to subvert that, have your son sell HIS inheritance(btw you can’t, it’s legally his property now not your’s even if he can’t drive it) to appease the other grandchildren.
Please remember your Father has zero obligation to give anyone anything and choose to do things as he has. No one was left out and everyone got something. I’m sure your mother is THRILLED you’re all making such a ruckus over this while she’s grieving her dead husband and you’re all comparing and complaining how ‘fair’ it all is or isn’t.
If I was your son I’d be telling you to pound sand, and I hope you realise you’re risking your future relationship with him by what you’re considering doing, and he if he speaks to a lawyer he’s going to find out you actually can’t ‘make’ him sell that car. Since you seem to be stuck on what’s ‘fair’; your threat of dividing his college fund, due to something that was completely out of control is both cruel and unfair to *your son*. If you choose to do that I hope you understand it’s very possible your son will wash his hands of you and want nothing to do with you down the road.
For anyone reading this, THIS exact reason is why you should have a trust instead of a will. Grandad has a will that’s now attempting to he subverted by his children who are unhappy with how Granddad chose to distribute his assets upon his death. Granddad obviously had a stronger bond with one child’s son than he did with his granddaughters, yet still choose to leave them something. If you speak to an estate planning lawyer they will suggest leaving 4-5k to someone you’re related to but not necessarily close to as it’s a sufficient amount to be unable to ‘petition the validity’ of the will. Grandad knew what he was doing.
He wanted that car to go to his grandson and now his adult children are fighting over it, because it’s not ‘fair’.
YTA in every way including sideways and upside down. I had parents like you. Parents I haven’t spoken with in 23 years, 8 months and. .. 3 days. So yay you!
This leans more towards you resenting your own son rather than you’re dad favouring him, YTA.
He probably left the car to the person he knew would appreciate it and love it rather than everyone else who wants to sell it as soon as they can as It was his most prized possession.
Absolute AH. How dare you try to punish your son over something in which he had no control. When your mother passes and your daughters get her antique jewelry and other girly items worth thousands of dollars and your son gets a 20 year old TV, are you going to make your daughters sell the jewelry and split it with their brother? Of course not! Don’t be a pr*ck to your son.
> I am almost considering telling him that his college money will be divided up amongst his sisters and cousins if he refuses to sell the car.
…..YIKES. What is your problem?
YTA
#WHY THE FK WOULD SOMEONE GO THROUGH THE TROUBLE OF MAKING A WILL AND DIVIDING THEIR ASSETS IF IT WASNT WHAT THEY SPECIFICALLY WANTED TO HAPPEN?!?!?
Youre on the fast track to having a kid who never speaks to you again.
Its not your property to give away. Sit down, tell your sister to sit the fk down, yall need to grow up. Life isnt fair, suck it up buttercup!
Coming from a lawyer:
Wills aren’t always fair. Sometimes people get the stiff end. The division of your father’s assets in his will isn’t a decision made by you for your children, but by him for his grandchildren. Maybe he favors the only boy, and maybe the car has sentimental value to him, and not just pecuniary value. Because of that sentimental value he chooses to leave it to your son.
It’s obviously unfair to your son, to punish him by threatening to withhold college money, or by forcing him to sell the car when he was at no fault in creating this situation. No matter the route you take, the situation will be unfair to someone – to your son by withholding something that was legally left to him, to your daughters/nieces if they do not receive equal money, or to your late father if his dying wishes and will are not honored.
From an emotional perspective, forcing your son to sell the car will also obviously breed resentment in your son and in all honesty is a cold and arrogant decision, that does not take your son or late father’s feelings into account. It also views the situation solely through a financial lens, with no regard for the sentimental value of the car or the relationship between grandfather and grandson.
YTA.
INFO: Did you or your sister receive anything in the will?
To be clear, YTA and what you “think” should happen with the car is entirely is entirely irrelevant. Your father left the car to someone he thought would love it and treasure it like he did, not sell it for whatever money it was worth.
Your son has every right to keep the car as a reminder of someone who treasured a relationship with him.
You really need to think long, and very, very hard, about whether or not you’d like to stay in contact with your son. If you go through with this, you will be forcibly taking away the very last thing his grandpa gave him. You are undermining the decision of a dead man, and blatantly disrespecting and disregarding his last wishes. That would make you an absolutely awful daughter to him, before we even get to your son.
As for your son, he is 17. If he is made to sell that car and divide that money, I see it very, very likely he uses this money he has left to get as far away from you as possible. Your son is just barely under the cutoff where he’d be out of your reach about the car anyway. Do you *really* want this to be the last thing you do to him as a minor? Is this how you want him to remember the end of his childhood? You seriously want your son to remember his mother as selfish, and greedy? You’re going to take away money you’ve saved for HIS FUTURE. HIS LIFE. All because someone else left him something worth more than expected. Your son has a monetary limit for how much you love him? Some mother you are.
I sincerely hope this puts some things in perspective for you. I sincerely hope that you can find another way to rectify this situation. If you cannot, I hope your son never has to deal with you again. I hope for all things holy, you are unable to force him, and he takes the car and gets the fuck out of dodge. I hope he puts enough distance between you and him, for you to understand **this is not, never was, and never, ever will be, your decision to make.**
YWBTA, quite frankly you’d be a terrible, terrible mother to your son, and words can’t even describe the kind of disgraceful daughter you’d be to your father. I mean seriously, what kind of person does this???
YWBTA
I’ve been in this situation before. When my grandmother passed, she left a very expensive diamond ring to one of my aunts in addition to the rest of her assets divided among her three kids. She only gave my aunt that ring because my dad and his other sister didn’t put up with her narcissistic bs. It sucks, but you move on.
Look, your daughters and nieces got $4000 cash in hand which they can use on anything and everything right now. Your son got a $70,000 asset. From your post, your son and father were very close so it’s unlikely that he will just sell the car for the cash. Plus, he’ll need to pay for the upkeep of the car which I imagine isn’t cheap. What your daughters and nieces have is much more useful.