#MarriedLifeProblems #ControllingSpouse #FinancialAbuse #DomesticDisputes #MaritalStruggles #SeekingAdvice #FreezeCreditCards #VirginiaLaws #ProtectYourself
Hi everyone! Today we’re going to delve into a challenging situation faced by one of our readers – the freezing of credit cards by her husband. This young woman, who goes by the username throwaway4problem on Reddit, shared her story on the Relationships subreddit, seeking advice on how to handle the situation. Let’s dive into the details and explore some practical solutions for her dilemma.
## The Problem Unfolds
Throwaway4problem revealed that her husband, who is a Navy serviceman, has displayed controlling and manipulative behavior ever since they got married. Despite expressing her intention to leave the relationship due to his narcissistic tendencies, her husband promised to change but failed to follow through. The situation escalated when she attempted to purchase a camera bag and SD card for her new camera at Target, sparking a heated argument with her spouse.
### Financial Control and Manipulation
One of the most concerning aspects of this story is the husband’s attempt to control his wife’s spending habits by threatening to freeze her credit cards. This behavior not only indicates financial abuse but also highlights the power dynamics within the marriage. By exerting control over his wife’s access to financial resources, the husband is limiting her autonomy and independence.
### Emotional Manipulation and Verbal Abuse
In addition to the financial control, the husband’s use of emotional manipulation and verbal abuse further compounds the toxic nature of their relationship. By dismissing his wife’s concerns, gaslighting her experiences, and resorting to name-calling, he is wielding emotional power to maintain dominance and silence her objections.
## Seeking Solutions
### Know Your Rights
As a resident of Virginia, it is essential for throwaway4problem to familiarize herself with the legal protections available to her. Virginia has laws in place to address domestic violence and financial abuse, offering resources and support for individuals facing controlling behaviors within intimate relationships. By understanding her rights and seeking legal guidance, she can explore options for protecting herself and resolving the situation.
### Seek Support from Loved Ones
In times of distress and uncertainty, reaching out to trusted family members and friends can provide a source of strength and comfort. By staying with her parents and leaning on their support, throwaway4problem has taken a proactive step towards creating a safe space for herself. Surrounding herself with a supportive network can empower her to make informed decisions about her next steps and prioritize her well-being.
### Consider Counseling and Therapy
Navigating complex relationship dynamics and processing emotional trauma requires a supportive therapeutic environment. Engaging in individual counseling and therapy sessions can help throwaway4problem unpack her experiences, set boundaries, and explore healthy coping mechanisms. By investing in her mental health and emotional resilience, she can gain clarity, self-awareness, and empowerment to navigate challenging situations.
## Moving Forward
Throwaway4problem’s story serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of recognizing and addressing controlling behaviors within relationships. By sharing her experience and seeking advice, she has taken a courageous step towards reclaiming her agency and seeking solutions that prioritize her safety and well-being. As she continues on her journey of self-discovery and healing, let us extend our support and guidance to those navigating similar challenges in their own lives.
Let’s stand together in solidarity, advocating for healthy relationships built on trust, respect, and mutual support. Remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness, understanding, and dignity in all aspects of your life. Stay strong, seek help when needed, and know that you are not alone on this journey towards empowerment and freedom. 💪💖 #StandUpAgainstAbuse #EmpowerYourself #YouAreNotAlone #HealthyRelationships #SelfLoveJourney #SeekHelpAndSupport
In conclusion, if you are experiencing financial abuse or control in your relationship, know that there are resources available to help you navigate this challenging situation. Reach out to local support organizations, legal aid services, or a trusted therapist to explore your options and reclaim your independence. You deserve to live a life free from fear, manipulation, and control. Stay strong, believe in your resilience, and take steps towards a brighter, healthier future. 💖✨
Get a credit card in your own name and open a bank account in your own name at a different bank from your joint bank account.
Not a lawyer but am a Navy Veteran.
First, you are a dependent so go to JAG (Judge Advocate General, Navy for lawyer) on base and get their assistance. It’s free. There are two sets of laws that apply to y’all, the UCMJ and Virginia Law, you at the very least need an attorney versed in the UCMJ of which there is not a lack of in Virginia, but again JAG is free to you and will have pull with his command as well.
Second, and he is going to hate you for this but, reach out to his command’s ombudsman. This is going to be the spouse of someone on his ship. Their whole thing is supporting the family of the sailors in the command. Now the part he’s going to hate you for is the ombudsman is going to get his leadership involved in resolving this.
Third, it’s a little suspicious he is working on the ship every weekend. Typically, weekends are for duty crews. Basically a skeleton crew that can keep things going over night and over the weekends. Depending on the size of his ship there might be anywhere from like 2 – 4 duty crews. It should be on a rotating basis where he would need to be on the ship overnight during the week and either the whole weekend or one of the weekend days.
hello your post came across my wall for whatever reason and got me curious. after looking through your post history something caught my eye that I think you should know. it’s pertaining to your cat’s behavior. you noted that your cats would never hiss before but started doing that recently when your husband is around. a cat is a very very trusting and surprisingly intelligent animal the main reason they do this is because of abuse, which from your descriptions is exactly what happened with the cats. this is a major red flag, I had a cat once who did this only around one roommate of mine, one day I came home and I guess he didn’t realize and I saw him holding the cat and bashing its head by the floor. needless to say I kicked his ass out (the cat was ok but scared 🙁 poor thing) animal abusers and serial killers have enough characteristics in common that I wouldn’t chance it regardless. get yourself out of there lady, and stay safe. you’re super young, you can make whatever you want with your life. it’s tough but better to get it done while you’re young than wait it out with a potential psychopath.
Please ensure you absolutely do not get pregnant by this man. Get your own credit card/bank account. Get your ducks in a row. Leave like a thief in the night. Never let your abuser know you are leaving them. It’s great you’re able to stay with your parents. Lean on their support while you sort out the military stuff. Good luck! ❤️
Please list to the advice here and meet with JAG. Also, DO NOT do therapy with your husband. Being vulnerable with a narcissist and abuser gives them ammunition to hurt you back with. They will take valid concerns, and hurt, then turn it back on you to make you feel like you are the problem.
Go to your parents house and stay there. Open your own accounts and move 1/2 of the funds from your shared accounts into your own name. Do not tell him that you are doing this or give him any warning/notice. I would personally do this before letting JAG or any person in the Navy know that this is happening. You currently have joint accounts and the money is in both of your names. Once he knows something is going on, he is going to change that.
He has shown you that he will hurt you, block you from leaving the house, prevent you from having access to joint accounts, etc… all of these are more than red flags. You are the number one priority here. Care for yourself first.
Not a lawyer, but I am a Military spouse here.
I definitely agree with the above who’ve suggested contacting JAG and the like.
I assume you don’t have a full time job of your own, correct me if I’m wrong, so there are essentially safe-guards built in the military to help ensure the military member isn’t financially abusing their spouse (as yours appears to be doing).
Best of luck ❤️
Oof. Dependa chronicles.
I’m proud of you! Get away now! If you have kids with this man it will worsen significantly. You will need to file for divorce on Monday. Like stat. Once that is done those marital assets are both of yours. Might not get anything right away but will once the divorce is final. Good luck. You are an angel. And you are not crazy.
And get an annulment, if you can.