LegalAdvice: Can my wife legally pack up and leave with our 11-month-old child while I’m at work?
Hello everyone,
I’ve been having a really tough last few days. On Monday, I came home from an 8-hour shift training at a new job to find that my wife and mother-in-law had coordinated a moving company to pack up what she considers her belongings in our shared home of 9 years (rental). She has also taken our 11-month-old and all his necessities to her mom’s house about a 45-minute drive away. They already set up a bedroom for themselves, indicating this was pre-meditated.
My wife blames my drinking problem and Adderall usage for her actions, and while I acknowledge my issues, I don’t believe this was fair without my consent or any input from me. She wants to remain separated, not divorced, for at least 6 months, so I can "sober up" and go through substance abuse programs (already signed up for). I live in Austin, TX, and I’m unsure what steps to take.
Legal Rights:
If you’re in a similar situation, it’s crucial to understand your legal rights as a parent. In Texas, both parents have equal rights to their child unless a court orders otherwise. Moving the child without your consent may raise legal concerns.
Parental Rights:
Your wife taking the child and establishing a new living arrangement might impact future custody decisions. Document the situation, consult with a family law attorney to protect your parental rights.
Financial Concerns:
Being left with bills and a house you cannot afford alone can be overwhelming. Seek financial advice to navigate this challenging situation.
Substance Abuse Support:
Getting help with your drinking problem and Adderall usage is essential for your well-being and your future with your child. Stay committed to your treatment plan.
Next Steps:
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Consult a Family Law Attorney: Seek legal advice to understand your options and protect your parental rights.
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Gather Evidence: Document the events that occurred and keep track of any communication with your wife to support your case.
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Financial Planning: Explore options for managing bills and the house you’re now responsible for alone.
- Focus on Recovery: Stay dedicated to your substance abuse programs and prioritize your well-being.
Remember, seeking professional help and support is crucial in navigating this challenging time. Don’t hesitate to reach out to resources in your community for guidance and assistance. 🌟
Take care and stay strong during this difficult period.
In the absence of some kind of court mandated parenting agreement then no, she has done nothing illegal.
It sounds like this is a wake up call you needed. Hopefully you can make the necessary changes to reunite your family.
She doesn’t need your consent to make sure herself and your child are somewhere safe. It speaks volumes on how scared she is to have had to plan an escape plan, and how she is still willing to make things work if you’re willing and actually going to put in the work to sober up. Best of luck in recovery, OP
I would use this 6 months for self reflection and AA meetings. I was once in your shoes and fucked everything up due to my ego and blaming everyone else for my actions. I was the problem all along and as soon as I admitted that to myself and got help my life got so much better. Unfortunately some bridges remain burnt and I would give anything to go back to the time when she gave me 6 months. I’m now 11 years sober and I can’t explain how much better my life is now.
Not illegal. She let you know where she was and it sounds like you need to focus on yourself. She is lucky she has family to fall back on because being married to an addict is an emotional roller coaster. Best of luck to you.
Drinking and Adderall. Nice Combo. Fix yourself first, family will be fixed on its own.
She did nothing wrong, and you should be thankful to her that she got your child out of a bad situation. Get sober so you can be a decent dad.
Are you asking if your wife has the legal right to leave you?Â
Sober up and get into a substance abuse programme, get another job to pay bills, work really hard so your wife chooses to come back to you. Or speak to a lawyer, option one is cheap and will solve the problem, option two is expensive and your relationship will be over.
Not a legal answer, but depending on how much you drink, please be careful trying to go cold turkey alone Here’s a link with more info.
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcohol/withdrawal-detox/cold-turkey
I wish you the best; and glad you’re getting help. You can’t do this alone.
I was in your place many years ago. What your wife did isn’t illegal, and you’re not at risk of losing parental rights. That would take a court order and it happens only in extreme cases. What you need to do now, as everyone has said, is getting sober. You’re lucky, your wife seems to want to give you a second chance. Don’t blow it. Work very hard on getting sober.
But that’s not the only thing. You need to accept that your wife has a point and you weren’t being the best dad. That start with understanding why she left. Your child seems to be in a safe place with his/her mom now. That should be what you care about most. Now you have time to focus on yourself, use it. Your post shows that you blame her instead of yourself, but you need to do some (a lot) of introspection. If you interact with your wife and child, you need to behave. No yelling, no threats… Show that you’re interested in knowing how they’re doing but don’t harass her. If she says no it’s no. If, God forbid, you end up divorcing, you’ll have a much better chance at getting the amount of custody you’d like if you can prove you’re sober and responsible. You don’t need excuses, you need to change.
About your house, paying everything on your own is difficult, but have you discussed it with your wife? Certainly she doesn’t want to lose the house, maybe she’d agree paying her share. Being away from the house doesn’t make her any less responsible for the costs. It depends of who’s on the mortgage, if it’s just you, just her, or the two of you. Of course if you communicate with her about that, be respectful, listen, you don’t want a conflict.
I wish you the best of luck.