Is it common for family members to reclaim items left behind after a house sale? Can property rights change after four years? What steps can be taken to establish clear boundaries and avoid future conflicts with family members over belongings? #FamilyProperty #RealEstateLaw #In-LawRelationships #PropertyBoundaries
In a typical closing anything left on the home becomes the new owners property and outlined in closing documents.
With family you can agree to free storage and would need to make clear that it’s no longer that situation.
Just give them the garbage and let it take itself out. They can have it shipped to a location of their choosing. Plus S/H fees.
Does MIL have a copy of the contracts drawn up between FIL and the daughter?
If not, simply say “we got that in the contract with the house sale”. Never give her a copy of the contract. The only option she has is to ‘call your bluff’ by taking you to court, and do you think she’ll actually follow through on that for some junk?
I wouldn’t give her another thing out of the house or outbuildings, even if you’re not wild about it. Otherwise, there will be no end to this.
Don’t give it back. If you do, this will continue on and on and on,…..
I’m not sure what her being white has to do with this?
Regardless, at this time, seems like a relationship issue. Not sure what kind of legal advice can be provided since she’s just asking for things and you’re either giving them to her, or refusing and she’s letting it go. She sounds really annoying and I would stop giving her anything or it will never end
I’m getting hoarder vibes from MIL.
It sounds like she’s a hoarder and can’t seem to let go of anything. But it’s been 4 years and this is an ongoing and endless issue. When they moved, they obviously decided what to take with them. Instead of going all the way through the remainder, they left things behind and YOU had to deal with the decisions about what to keep, and what to get rid of ( and , HOW to dispose).
When someone sells you a home, it’s their responsibility to remove their property and leave it “broom clean”. Anything left behind, unless there is a written agreement otherwise, is forfeited and becomes yours when you take possession of the property. You are not a custodian of their stuff, nor their convenient self-storage facility! You can keep it, trash it, sell it, donate it, burn it…whatever you decide. And it’s utterly ridiculous that she continues to believe she has any claim to ANY item that was left there. She doesn’t.
Stepmom-in-law needs a reality check and to learn to respect boundaries. Next time she mentions any item, just ask her “if it mattered so much, why didn’t you take it when you moved and you had the chance?” Then change the subject.
If she gets REALLY pushy, such as with the neon sign, tell her you’re tickled that it’s yours now, and glad they decided to include it in the sale. Then change the subject. Don’t allow her to assume or insinuate that you owe her any items, or even any explanation of what you did with them. Just shut her down with one direct statement, and change the topic. Both of these are ways of communicating to her that this is NOT her property, it belongs to you now.
If she pressures you and tries to force you into a corner, press back. Tell her either that you paid for the item in the sale of the home and prefer to keep it…or you bought it in the house sale but if she wants it that much, you will sell it back to her for $$(your price to make it worthwhile,). Again, the message is: I own it now, you don’t get to dictate.
You don’t have to be nasty about it, but you do have to be calm and firm, and it’s best to be reasonably pleasant for the sake of family relations. After a few of these uncomfortable conversations, your position on this topic will be clear to her, and it’s unlikely she’ll continue this silliness. Whatever you do, don’t capitulate because she’ll just take that as reinforcement that she can hound you until you relent, and it will never stop. Retrain her.
If you want to end this in a way that would probably cause the least amount of drama / be the most diplomatic (even though she doesn’t deserve it imo) but still cover you legally, I would reply with something like this;
> ” MIL ; FIL has already had a conversation with us about the sign and how it now belongs to my children so the kids won’t be parting with it since they are attached and it reminds them of their grandpa. Sorry if he forgot to mention that to you, or for any confusion there.
Also, we noticed that this isn’t the first time there’s been miscommunication or confusion over items that had been left at our house when we took over ownership and we’d love to make sure this doesn’t happen again in the future. Since it’s been so long, many items have been sold or repurposed, but if there’s anything you think may be left in the house that you value please let us know by the end of the week and we’ll have a look. If it is still here and can be parted with we will box it up for you to pick up within the next 30 days. After that, or if we don’t hear back from you by week’s end, we will call everything square and avoid these mix-ups in the future. Thanks for understanding, MIL! Hope you have a great week :)”
This 1) kills her with kindness so she can’t say you were unfair, play the victim, etc, 2) gives her a reasonable timeframe and set expectations that should hold up legally, and 3) ends this situation hopefully without any further headaches past getting her shit out of your space.
The “and can be parted with” phrasing is also to give you an out if she names anything significant you use daily; “Oh, so sorry, FIL said that was for our use so that’s something that we use on the daily. We appreciate him giving it to us!”
Now you also screenshot that entire Convo and if she pulls this shit in the future you tell her that you have already discussed this. “Remember MIL, we sorted that all out in May 2024! That conversation we had about you taking any items in the house you want?” and you send the screenshots of she continues. Rinse and repeat.
“Everything you didn’t remove from the house at the time of sale belongs to the buyer.”
NAL: I would look up abandoned property laws in your state. I think the max in any state is 2 years, but I don’t know for sure.
Legally, you don’t need to giver her anything. It’s all yours now.
Personally, I would listen to your wife and just ignore her. I wouldn’t even acknowledge the comment.
Just grey rock her.
If you can afford new stuff just get rid of everything not sentimental. Then you can honestly answer, “sorry, it’s been so long and we have much nicer things now that we didn’t need to hold on to your old furniture/whatever. Thank you for leaving it so we could have somethings not to worry about getting immediately after buying the house, we decided to pass that generosity on by donating.”
I am just curious about this neon sign. What is so cool about it?
To avoid escalating the situation, I’d say something like, “The stuff ya’ll left behind has been donated, sold or we’re using it. We didn’t realize you were using our house for free storage, we assumed that you left these items behind for us to utilize. Is there anything else you want, because this stops after today.”
I want to see this red neon sign. It must be pretty awesome