🌟 **Is It Normal to Be in Overdraft for 11 Years?** 🤔
Hey everyone! I wanted to bring something up that’s been on my mind, and I’d love to get your input. My friend has been in an overdraft for a whopping 11 years! 😳 He often complains about how bad others are with money, but when it comes to his own finances, it’s a totally different story.
Here’s the lowdown:
- He pays just $300 in rent at home, which includes food.
- His net income is around $950 a week from full-time work.
- He’s been living off an overdraft since he was 21, buying everything—like a PS5 and designer shoes—on borrowed money!
- Despite earning a decent salary, he frequently finds himself deep in the red, often running on zero or even going up to -$2500. 😱
What’s more concerning is that he’s in complete denial about his financial situation. 🌀 He even got offended when I suggested he might not be able to afford coffee!
His pattern of spending includes:
- Buying a $2000, 2007 BMW when he couldn’t even afford the essentials.
- Paying over $200 a week on his mobile plan for two years because he “couldn’t be bothered” to switch to a proper plan.
- Breaking two phones a year but still insisting he can afford it—despite being in overdraft!
This is also someone who claims he has a good grip on his finances but hasn’t even checked his bank account in years! 😬 It raises so many questions:
- How can he believe he’s not broke while living in overdraft?
- Is his ADHD playing a role in his financial denial?
- How can I support him without coming off as judgmental? 🤷♂️
It’s a tough situation! I really want to help him, especially since he wants to rent a place with me. But I can’t help feeling nervous about it because of his financial habits. 🤦♂️
If you’ve been in a similar situation or have tips on how to deal with friends who are in financial denial, please share! 🙏 Let’s discuss constructive ways to approach this. Is it too late for him to change his ways, or are there strategies that could help? 🔑
Drop your thoughts and experiences below! How do you handle friends who seem oblivious to their financial realities? 💬
👉 For those wanting to read more about financial literacy and tips for budgeting, check this out: Some Financial Tips
#FinanceTalk #MoneyMatters #DebtAwareness #FinancialLiteracy
I’m sure you have already worked this out, but do not go flatting with this bloke.
You can’t help those that don’t want to be helped.
No it’s not normal. For your own mental health just focus on your own situation and don’t spend your time judging him. If he ever decides to fix his situation you can be there for him but you gain nothing by working yourself up over it in the meantime.
Unfortunately it sounds like he’s just really stupid. Classic reacting with anger when confronted.
You cant help those who dont want help
It’s more common than it should be, but the simple answer is he is shit with money and the bank loves him, a nice reliable $20 of interest income per month for them.
I also have a mate like this. And he would say exactly the same thing as your friend. Sad truth is you can’t help him see his ways. People like you and I are able to plan for the future and budget accordingly, however your friend like mine lives only in the present. There’s very little you can do to change that mindset of theirs so wouldn’t even bother. Why would you when they can’t even take the most basic of steps? Also wouldn’t advise renting a flat. You’ll end up loaning to him.
Well the ADHD will explain some of it, impulsiveness, inability to take action even though you know what you ‘should’ do – phone bill.
Quick to anger is common too.
Needs to reset the habits, but has to be onboard to achieve it.
No it’s not normal, but usually a confronting fact, like you have spent 20000 on interest on your overdraft over the last X years, might piss him off but he might also think about it once the emotion is gone.
Its not your monkey. I’m not sure why you’re having these regular unwanted discussions with your mate, doesn’t sound like they are asking your advice. Just leave them to it, you’ve said your piece. You may be causing them to dig in.
Doesn’t sound like they are a financial genius, but that’s 90% of folks. Living in your overdraft is going to drag him down, but there are much worse money mistakes that can really spiral, like credit cards. One day he is going to snap out of it and bite the bullet. But I doubt you’re going to change his mind. Spend your time thinking about your own situation. If they want advice they are aware you are gagging to offer it and will hit you up if needed. There is a lot of emotion tied up in these things, give them space and maybe one day you can have a deeper convo with them. Even if you flat together its not your business, as long as they can pay rent and expenses.
He doesn’t want help. Stop trying to help him.
Every time you offer “help” or “advice” he feels like you’re judging him and interfering.
Do not raise the topic of finances.
Do not let him flat with you.
There are a lot of people out there who are more concerned with the idea of looking rich and keeping that reputation that are actually just in debt because they do not live within their means. I suspect this is one of those cases.
I’ve worked up to $1000 on my Afterpay – it does not mean I have $1000, unfortunately not everyone sees it this way.
ODs are not infinite, and you don’t want to be left paying the rest of the rent that week/month when it gets capped. I am not sure how he’s managed so far, genuinely. I didn’t think ODs went that high, but I’m with ASB.
This guy does not have the caution with money that he should. Don’t tie yourself in with him financially, even if he might be a good mate. I suspect he’s got some wealthy parents but maybe his bank really does allow a semi-constant overdraft.
your friends finances are none of your business
I suspect he has gotten that mindset from being a student when it was free money but now it’s not. Problem is he’s not viewing it as the debt to the bank it actually is.
He is not good with money.
You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves
Do not flat with them.
Do not plan to go to the US with them.
lol he needs help but i think you should save yourself the stress as he is clearly not bothered
Only 11 years? Rookie numbers.
He’s delusional.
There’s only so much you can do before ultimately having to let him deal with his own situation.
One day it’ll bite him, extremely hard.
How old are you both? It might be a phase if he is in early 20’s trying to live the high life. Is he actually a friend of yours? He sounds very toxic based on what you’ve written and I see him being a liability down the road.
As someone with ADHD, these are all ADHD symptoms lol. He needs to take serious steps to manage it or it will always be a problem for him. Things like setting it up so a portion of your paycheck is deducted before you even see it are amazing. Medication does help a lot too. But yeah, you can’t help people that don’t want to be helped, as other people pointed out (especially when they have ADHD)
yeah. I worked with a guy exactly like that for years. Thing is – he was actually quite smart – just spectacularly shit with money.
Money was there to be spent. His enjoyment of life was only restricted when he ran out of money. If he got to pay day and he still had money left from the last one – he genuinely seemed to feel like he had failed to maximise that last week of his life – he could have had more beer, more smokes, more takeaways, more nights out but he hadnt and that was a failure. He had all kinds of little ways to get access to a bit more money – a small tab at the dairy, borrowing small amounts off friends etc. He was always negative and it didnt seem to bother him one bit. Same – wouldnt get a phone plan etc because it was all a hassle and it was trivial amounts and he could just go get a top up (from the dairy) etc etc. Same for bank charges, interest, fines, car loans etc.
At one point he had so many fines (car stuff) that the courts offered him community service to clear them. It was an amazing deal – I cant remember the exact figures but it was like $30k fines but we will make it $10k and you can work that off with ‘x’ number of hours of community service. I pointed out to him that doing the community service would effectively be ‘earning’ more per hour than pretty much anyone earns for any normal job – certainly more than he could ever earn per hour in his life. it was a good deal – but ‘nah’ – didnt want to ‘waste’ his saturdays for a few months doing that. He just decided to go on paying the minimum court ordered payments every week for years. It was insane
He genuinely believed that if he just earned “x” amount more everything would be in balance but from what I saw – no matter how much he earned he was always going to spend it all, as soon as he got it, plus a little bit more
It was fascinating to be honest. Stressed me out a bit though
Pro tip – dont lend your mate any money…
Sounds like a classic underearner or compulsive debtor. I spent some time in 12 step groups underearners anonymous or debters anonymous and plenty of stories like this happened, people always finding a way to spend money.
I had an ex who was also in overdraft for years and I told him he needed to grow up and sort it out. He just saw the remaining negative balance as like, equivalent to a positive balance.
So normal here in NZ but just absolutely not normal and really not good for your credit either??
Couldn’t believe I had to tell a man in his 30’s to get rid of his overdraft.
Your friend is equal parts immature, arrogant and stupid. I’ve had friends like this who like to be better than everyone and lie a lot to make them look like that. I unfortunately dated someone like this. They will argue black is white. His ADHD will contribute too.
Don’t hang with people who are bitter and jealous, but also blind to their own behaviour. Find happy people.
You need to avoid this guy – he’s clearly terrible with money and you’re not. Intentionally (or otherwise) he’s sizing you up as an ATM…
Do not move in with him, do not travel with him and never ever help him out – do not give/lend him money.
I’m not sure what you’re asking. You have a friend who’s bad with money, but thinks he’s a genius.
Is it normal? Plenty of people think of themselves as having money so long as their credit cards or overdraft allow them to make purchases. I doubt it’s a majority, but certainly not uncommon.
Anyway, if you actually enjoy being friends with the guy, then just don’t talk money, and don’t do anything that would tie your financial health to his in any way.
Lol. Why are you still friends with this character?
You’ve written an essay on how much better you are than him. You use the word ‘friend’ very loosely.
ADHD is probably why he has the financial discipline of a toddler. He needs meds and some sort of control on his spending. Don’t f up your own situation to help him but if you do care there are free resources you can give him that could help. This is actually quite common. Used to think people couldn’t be this stupid but damn was I wrong and naive.
Zezima sounds like someone played RuneScape
You need to seriously picture YOUR life with him in 10 yrs. Cut the cord now.
Don’t trust him. Next thing you know he will try to trim your armour and logout on you… 🫠
Sounds like he has horrific spending habits. Dont waste any more time giving him advice and also dont tell him about your financial situation as he will be jealous and might try scab off you. .
It sounds like he is essentially living paycheck to paycheck by choice – spending money like it’s burning a hole in his pocket, rather than saving anything. If he wants to do that and not save for later life then that’s his problem, not yours. His level of debt is not increasing so he is living within his means.
His issue is he is a couple of weeks behind. That’s costing him in interest. If he were to refrain for a couple of weeks, he could get back in the black, cancel his overdraft, and resume his pattern and rate of spending. If he were to do that, would you have such an issue with it?
Trying to coerce you into not buying a car is an absolute dick move but his ADHD probably plays into his “the way I’m doing things is fine. It’s you that’s doing it wrong. But secretly I’m jealous” mentality. If it were me, I’d distance myself from them and certainly never discuss finances around them. E.g. your friend wouldn’t find out about the new car until it appeared in the driveway.
This is one of those sad cases where the guy just needs therapy. He’s clearly got his thinking about money completely scrambled and without a reset from a trusted professional he’s pretty screwed. Wish we had financial therapists here
This is how credit cards and banks survive. Mortgage literally means Death Grip for a reason. Some countries govt are making moves to remove overdraft fees which is essentially a fee charged to someone for not having enough money to pay.
How your friend lives is on them. Don’t let them live rent free in your head.
What’s your question? You seem to be too worried for your friend but at the end of the day you’re not the person who is supposed to fix your friend. On the other hand, do not flat with your friend and do not got to the US with your friend.
As someone who’s been in your friends position for about 4 years I can say with confidence it is a very difficult thing to accept the overdraft isn’t our money and just keep going with it.
I recall it wasn’t until I met my previous partner, where she took one look at that $-2000 overdraft and said “f that, its going”.
There is also a great deal of shame associated with feeling trapped inside an overdraft as well. I’d do the same things in the past, turn down coffee and a lot of shared lunches.
I don’t think he is going to listen until he’s in a safe place to talk about it.
I think you guys deserve each other.
Reminds me of one of my old friends, he was good at talking to people so was pretty popular but he spent every dollar he earned on attending pretty much every concert and event and complained about it constantly.
what degree takes u 11 years to complete
This guy needs to become a picnic friend.
A picnic friend is someone you’re cool with but aren’t cousins or besties, and due to a difference in financial status, “going out” isn’t enriching to your friendship. This works for ridiculously extravagant friends who insist that their cutlery is cloudy and need a fresh set to eat their tiny bites of food and also the not quite grown-up version of that mate who always popped up at the smell of anyone’s pie to grab a bite. Either way, money stuff is just ick.
Picnic friends are great additions to walks, beach visits, browsing art shows and op-shops etc. It’s quite likely they will notice your sudden interest in exercise and the great outdoors. That’s great because you will be sharing your healthy activities with someone you care about.
If you find you can’t be arsed making a walk or a beach trip to spend time with your picnic friends, or you’d rather go alone. Then you will find that time creates space that naturally fills up with other people and you will both be happier.