“Is it Normal for an Ex to Propose After 9 Years of No Contact? Feeling Confused and Unsure š¤ #exboyfriend #relationshipquestions #proposal #rekindledlove
Hey there! So, my ex-boyfriend (M32) recently reached out after 9 long years of no contact and surprised me by proposing. It feels completely insane and I can’t shake this weird feeling in my gut. But why does it feel off? Let’s explore this unexpected turn of events together and figure out what could be going on.”
Reasons Why It Might Feel Off:
- Uncertainty about motives
- Lack of closure from past relationship
- Fear of repeating past mistakes
Seeking Clarity and Guidance:
- Talk openly and honestly with your ex about your concerns
- Seek advice from trusted friends or a therapist
- Take time to reflect on your feelings and what you truly want
Remember, your feelings are valid and it’s important to trust your instincts when navigating unexpected situations like this. Stay true to yourself and prioritize your own happiness above all else. Good luck! #relationshipadvice #trustyourself #rekindledromance
It feels off because it is off. After 9 years apart, it’s the same as if you just met. Who proposes on the first date?
Because he hurt you and you’ve moved on. Give the new guy a chance. It sounds like that’s what your heart is telling you.
Johnny Depp said it best. Iām paraphrasing here, but it was somewhere along the lines of āIf you ever fall for two people, then choose the one that came after the first, because you wouldnāt have looked or been interested in finding something better if the first one was right for you.ā
If he was so hellbent on finding you, he wouldn’t just have waited around, he would have found you. Not 9 years later.
You don’t know this guy anymore, and the part you knew was a shallow and deceiving boy. Do not buy into his bs.
sounds like a manic episode.
Be honest with your ex and tell him you have moved on and donāt love him anymore.
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I can barely remember my 3+ year relationship from a decade ago, never mind the people I dated for 6 months back then. If I met any one of my exes now they would be like strangers to me, we are all completely different people and proposing to me would be as weird and creepy as if I had just met them on a dating app. Honestly this might sound far fetched but this is how frantic emotionally unintelligent people on the rebound after a long term relationship behave, and have some weird fantasy about you being the one all along. Stick with the new guy! If something seems too good to be true it usually is!
I can barely remember my 3+ year relationship from a decade ago, never mind the people I dated for 6 months back then. If I met any one of my exes now they would be like strangers to me, we are all completely different people and proposing to me would be as weird and creepy as if I had just met them on a dating app. Honestly this might sound far fetched but this is how frantic emotionally unintelligent people on the rebound after a long term relationship behave, and have some weird fantasy about you being the one all along. Stick with the new guy! If something seems too good to be true it usually is!
I can barely remember my 3+ year relationship from a decade ago, never mind the people I dated for 6 months back then. If I met any one of my exes now they would be like strangers to me, we are all completely different people and proposing to me would be as weird and creepy as if I had just met them on a dating app. Honestly this might sound far fetched but this is how frantic emotionally unintelligent people on the rebound after a long term relationship behave, and have some weird fantasy about you being the one all along. Stick with the new guy! If something seems too good to be true it usually is!
It’s a lie, he could have found you at any point. he could be newly divorced with 3 cildren, you have no idea about his life.
You have a fantasy of what could have happened but didn’t. You did not get closure. he could have been stalking you all along and now you have someone he has come out of the woodwork. You have no idea what he as been doing for 9 years but it wasn’t talking to you was it?
Write down your thoughts can help with working through what you are thinking and get outside help to talk to.
Feels off because you barely dated long enough the first time and that was almost a decade ago. He’s in love with that you (which is very different from the current you).
Also would freak me out if someone said they prayed to god every day to find you. I’m pretty sure he could get in contact with you *somehow* quicker than 9 years.
OP tell me that you were in the witness protection program and that is why your ex could not locate you for NINE years!!!
There is a certain kind of guy who rejects you and then he is desperate to have you back when he sees you being interested in someone else. They should do an episode on it for āAnd just like thatā.
Donāt fall for it!!
It’s off because it’s off. You knew this dude 9 years ago and people change. You don’t know who he is today, and he’s swinging in with a proposal from the left field.
Be with the guy that treats you well, not the blast from the past who didn’t. Even considering this bogus proposal would be a fool’s errand, nevermind *accepting* it.
Crazy go bye bye.
Nine years ago, he was 23 years old and not ready to commit to a relationship but time changes people and neither of you are the person you were back then. He doesnāt even know the person you are today how can he say? He loves you and wants to marry you. Personally, I think if he wanted you back to he couldāve reached me out via social media and found you sometime in the last nine years.
If he had come to you and said, I would like to try again. I would like to start dating and get to know you and see if things work out that would be one thing. Just tell him that right now you would like to just keep it as friends. Tell him you were seeing someone and would like to see where it goes.
Give the new guy a chance. Open up and tell him honestly how you feel and how scared all this feels as you were hurt in the past. Take one day at a time. My own husband loved me way before I loved him. If he is the one for you he’d patiently go at your pace and take it day by day.Ā
The ex should be told he had his chance but in saying that 6 months is a short amount of time to figure out if you loved someone. Love can be confused for lust and lust for love. You cannot go back there and ruin your chance with your new man and he needs to understand this too that you have begun seen someone and want to continue to see this guy.Ā
Go low contact with this guy too and if the new guy wanted no contact then do cut him off.Ā
You broke up *after six months*. If there weren’t 9 years between then and now to erase those, he’d be proposing after 6 months and after saying he never loved you. That is *madness*. He also doesn’t know current you, people change a lot after 19. It is *impossible* for him to love you or vice versa. He seems weirdly desperate. Probably because he’s a terrible partner to anyone he dates.
51F you need time alone to figure YOURSELF out first. Here is what I hearā¦ this guy vs this guy. What about you? What do you want? What are your dreams? You need to get introspective and know what it is you are/are not looking for and then build up self esteem so that if the choice is neither you can move on from both and find a healthy relationship.
Exes are exes for a reason. Donāt fall for whatever heās offering up. He hasnāt changed, outside of getting older as a shallow man.
See where your relationship with the new guy goes.
Do you honestly believe heās being truthful or just trying to get you in to bed because of lust?
How would he react if you said you have a new rule of not sleeping with someone until marriage? Or after a year of dating?
Itās off because you are older and wiser. And maybe you prefer for him to stay a fantasy in your head because the real him would give you the ick.
Is your ex and current date friends or friendly with each other? Could it be a “test or trap?
Nope listen to your gut stay with friend
You’ve only had two dates with this guy, but you’ve known him for ages so it’s not like someone you just hooked up with on a dating app
The guys hardly spoken to you since you were 19. Youāre now 28. Heās got no idea who you are never mind loves you.
He loves a romanticised version of a 19 year old girl. Tell him F right off, block him and take a chance with a guy whoās shown genuine interest I. You.
Itās feeling off because it is insane. Ā You know that. Ā Itās why you said āinsaneā in all caps.
My guess is the past nine years have not gone well for your ex, especially in the dating field. Ā He has spent the past nine years obsessing over vague memories of you.
If he wanted to take you on a date and show you the new improved version of himself and see if the chemistry is still thereā¦hey, who knows. Ā Maybe!
But to confess his love for you and that he wants to marry you when he has only seen you one time, in passing, in NINE YEARS?
He doesnāt even KNOW you,
He is very, very, very mentally unwell.
(On another note, donāt fall for dudes after just two dates. Ā You can be happy with how things are going so far, thatās great! Ā Also realize 2 dates is not enough time to know anything real about anybody.)
He was saying crazy things before. He still is.
I’m completely baffled by your reaction here.
>…surprisingly enough, Iām not feeling as happy as I thought I would to have him in my life.
Umm, yeah of course you aren’t. Being proposed to someone you haven’t seen in nearly a decade is batshit insane. Especially with someone you only had a 6 MONTH relationship with. This is irrational and scary behavior in my personal opinion.
This guy does not love you, how can he possible love you? He hasn’t seen you in NINE YEARS. He doesn’t know who you are anymore, he’s basically a stranger at this point. Right now he doesn’t love you, he loves the *idea* of you that he’s formulated in his head. Hell, can you even say you know him too? What are his beliefs? What are his hobbies? Who’s his best friend? What is his family like? Did he get divorced?
He lost his chance, please continue seeing this other new guy instead.