#ReconnectingWithBioParents #BiologicalParents #FamilyReunion
Hey there! 👋 Have you ever wondered what it would be like to reconnect with a biological parent who didn’t raise you? Maybe you have seen heartwarming stories on TV or in movies about people reuniting with their birth parents and feeling an instant, deep connection. But the reality is, it’s not always like that. And that’s okay! Let’s dive into this topic and explore why it’s okay not to feel a strong connection when reuniting with a biological parent.
## The Reality of Reconnecting with a Biological Parent
When various media outlets and entertainment sources portray people reuniting with their birth parents, they often depict it as a beautiful and special moment filled with an innate and undeniable connection. However, this might not be the case for everyone. In reality, the idea of reconnecting with a biological parent can come with a range of emotions and outcomes, and that’s totally normal.
### My Personal Experience
I remember feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension when I decided to reach out to my biological parent who had been absent from my life since I was an infant. The anticipation of finally meeting them was overwhelming, and I couldn’t help but wonder if we would have an instant connection. However, when the moment finally came, I realized that we were essentially strangers. Our shared DNA didn’t automatically create a bond, and I didn’t feel the intense connection that I had seen portrayed in movies and on television. And you know what? That’s okay.
## It’s Okay Not to Feel a Strong Connection
If you’ve recently reconnected with a biological parent and found yourself not feeling the expected beautiful and special connection, you’re not alone. It’s important to remember that every individual’s experience with this type of reunion is unique, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Here’s why it’s okay not to feel a strong connection:
### Strangers with DNA
When you reconnect with a biological parent, it’s important to consider the fact that you are essentially meeting a stranger. While you may share DNA, that doesn’t automatically translate to having a deep, innate connection. It’s completely normal to feel like you’re getting to know someone from scratch, and that process takes time.
### Different Paths and Experiences
Another reason why it’s okay not to feel a strong connection is that you and your biological parent have likely led very different lives. Your paths and experiences may be vastly different, and it’s okay if you don’t immediately find common ground. Building a relationship with anyone takes time, and it’s okay to take things slow.
## Managing Expectations and Emotions
If you’re feeling disappointed or confused about not feeling a strong connection with your biological parent, it’s important to manage your expectations and emotions. Here’s how you can navigate your feelings and recognize that it’s okay not to feel an intense connection:
### Give Yourself Time
It’s okay to give yourself permission to process your emotions and take the time to navigate this new chapter in your life. Reconnecting with a biological parent is a big step, and it’s okay to take it one day at a time. As time goes on, you may find that your connection with them grows and deepens.
### Seek Support
Reaching out for support from friends, family, or professional counselors can be incredibly helpful when navigating the complexities of reconnecting with a biological parent. Surrounding yourself with understanding and compassionate individuals can provide the reassurance and guidance you need during this time.
## Embracing Your Unique Journey
Remember that your experience with reconnecting with a biological parent is entirely your own, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Embracing your unique journey and the emotions that come with it is an important part of the process. It’s okay to be honest with yourself about your feelings and to give yourself grace as you navigate this new chapter in your life.
In conclusion, if you’ve reconnected with a biological parent and haven’t felt the expected beautiful and special connection, it’s okay. You’re not alone, and your feelings are valid. Embracing the reality of your unique journey and giving yourself time and space to navigate this new chapter is essential. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all experience when it comes to reconnecting with a biological parent, and it’s okay to embrace your own path.
And you usually learn why they were not in your life and probably will continue not to be.
I’d like to hear stories about this. I never knew my dad, and everyone tells me I should reconnect, including my guilt tripping mom. I never want to because I feel like I don’t need to meet a stranger, I can do that anywhere.
I appreciate this. I was given up at birth and found my biological parents almost a decade ago (I’m 36) I was definitely longing for this instant, intense connection and it didn’t come. Definitely disheartening and I get sad every once in a while when I think about it and that it’ll never be what I dreamed it would be for all those years before I found them. But it makes complete sense that we’d have no connection given the circumstances. I hope that realization allows me to rest easy about it eventually.
My parents divorced when I was 6 and by the time I was 11 my dad was in prison after being a figitive for about 6 months. I didn’t hear a peep from him until I was 19, and only because my now-ex convinced me to “give him a chance” because of the shared DNA. My dad has come a long way, but our relationship is more like two adults that met and less…familial. I don’t ask him for advice, he asks me from time to time for relationship help etc.
Its strange to imagine never having reconnected (he’s been very supportive through certain trials) but I know what to expect from him as a grandparent and person, and it ain’t much.
I actually have a personal experience to share, so Kobe and his daughter (and several others) died tragically in a helicopter crash almost exactly 4 years ago.
Well it broke my heart, and made me want to reach out to my dad. He’s lived in the same place forever, and I actually ran into my aunt (his sister) very randomly while working, she gave me his number probably a year or two before I ever used it.
My mom and dad were super young, and so my mom took me back to her home state and raised me with her dad/my grandpa.
My mom left me with the decision to have contact with my dad or not, which as a 6-13 year old really shouldn’t have been my choice.
Anyway fast forward to 2020, I reached out and I’m not going to lie, it was awkward for both me and my dad. Conversation was tough at first, and the first meeting was like being put on another planet meeting an alien.
*But* I’m happy to say, I talk to my dad weekly now. We text, we visit on holidays, he came to my college graduation, we send gifts, and I have 3 siblings!!! Who I’ve also grown close to, have learned about their favorite candies, what they’re into, what they hate etc.
I’m really glad we connected, I held onto to a lot of anger, resentment and mistrust for a long time before, but I feel like a whole person now.
This isn’t a pro tip
Thanks for this!
I connected with my bio mom when I was in my late 20s. She had given me up for good reasons when I was born.
She was very emotional and kept crying and hugging me. I felt very uncomfortable. I didn’t have any of that emotional baggage from being adopted – I had a loving family and always knew I was adopted.
At the time, I felt heartless because she was feeling so much and I thought I should feel….something. When that didn’t happen, I thought that something was wrong with me. It wasn’t. She was just a stranger and we had different expectations.
I’ve never had the slightest urge to look up the biomatter progenitors.
Mom and Dad were the people who raised me, loved me, cried with me, laughed with me, and made me the success I am.
Great post. There are two sides to humans – the physical and the spiritual. One ends soon enough, but the other goes on, and on and on. Spiritual parents are just that because they love/d us. Adopted kids are sometimes as lucky as kids who were not adopted, and some kids are raised in homes where adoption would have been luckier…
Heck, I could not even feel a connection to my birth parents while they were raising me. Not that there was abuse, just… they never understood the real me. It took my SO’s family for me to feel like I am part of a group who “gets” me.
This is true. And it’s especially awkward when they seemingly feel a special connection towards you right away. Like, take two steps back bro I don’t even know you or your crazy hyper-religious wife.