#ChildFree #Dating #Decisions #Relationships #NoKids
Hey there! 🌟 So you’re wondering if it’s weird to not date a guy because he said he hates kids? Let’s dive into this thought-provoking topic together! 🤔
Personal Preferences Matter
It’s absolutely okay to prioritize your own values and beliefs when it comes to dating. Choosing not to date someone because they have a stance on kids that doesn’t align with yours is completely valid. After all, this is a significant aspect that can heavily impact a long-term relationship.
Respecting Differences
While it’s important to stick to your own values, it’s also crucial to remember that people come from diverse backgrounds and experiences. Some individuals may have trauma or negative encounters related to children that influence their perspectives. However, compatibility in major life decisions is critical for a successful relationship.
Communication is Key
If the person you’re dating expresses a distaste for kids, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation about your views and expectations. Through effective communication, you can gain understanding and insight into each other’s perspectives.
Real-Life Example
Imagine being in a relationship with someone who fundamentally opposes the idea of having children. This could lead to conflicts down the road, impacting the relationship’s longevity and happiness. By acknowledging these differences early on, you can make informed decisions about your romantic ventures.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it’s not weird at all to choose not to date someone who vehemently declares “I hate kids.” Your life choices and preferences are yours to make, and it’s essential to ensure compatibility in such crucial aspects of a relationship. Trust your instincts and prioritize your happiness! 💖
Hope this sheds some light on your situation! Feel free to share your thoughts or ask more questions. Good luck on your dating journey! 🌈 #SelfLove #RelationshipGoals #NoRegrets
I think I get what you mean- I don’t want kids, I don’t particularly enjoy doing stuff with kids in tow, but I do know a personality type that just slates kids and complains about them constantly and I find that off putting personally.
I feel like more information is needed here or you need to have a follow up conversation.
Did he say it in like a brutal tone or with disgust or something?
I say this as a father of a toddler… kids are annoying. I love MY kid to pieces but yesterday he sat on my stomach and then stood up and body slammed me and giggled. Then he licked my face, because toddlers are weirdos on pcp.
So I will unapologetically say kids are annoying… but I’m still going to sit down and play pretend with a kid because I’m not an asshole about it.
Does the guy actually hate kids or was it just a statement?
Why would that be weird? He just said he hates an extraordinarily large number of people – people who aren’t even old enough to be in control of the things he hates them for.
I don’t want kids either. I’m often frustrated by them and would not be a good parent. But “I hate kids” is a totally different statement.
It may not be a dealbreaker if he’s never said or done anything else to indicate that he’s a hateful person. Maybe he just doesn’t have a good way with words and wasn’t able to articulately express his feelings about that. But it’s a jarring statement and you’re well within your rights to feel uneasy about it.
I get it not wanting kids and not liking kids are two very different things. I also think actively hating kids is a red flag. What else do they irrationally hate, what will they be like to live with would they hurt people or animals? I wouldn’t want to find out!
I made a comment in another sub about this so I’ll just copy and paste it.
>Not wanting kids and finding kids annoying is one thing but hating them is just weird to me. That’s such a strong word. They had no say in being here. We all were kids and none of us would’ve liked it to be hated by adults just for existing.
>I feel like people who hate children have some deep rooted issues from their childhood they haven’t resolved yet.
>Edit: and I say this as someone who’s childfree by choice.
You can’t really be sure how much thought he put into the word “hate” unless you knew him better.I mean i dislike them too,but i wouldn’t say i hate kids,they’ve done nothing to me.I’ve seen some people use hate and dislike as synonyms though,so not sure how deep this goes.
I think it’s not weird and I would definitely expect someone to know better by 38, but I’ll also say that “I hate kids” is a common throwaway statement that people toss out to convey that they are uncomfortable with kids (in the same sense as “I hate clowns” or something) and it doesn’t *usually* imply they wish harm on kids or would do anything negative to them.
For me, I started saying “I hate kids” when I was a kid myself (like 11 years old or something) which I thought was basically just a humourous way to say “I don’t ever want to have or work with kids” and I kept saying it well into my 20s. At that point someone pointed out to me that there are genuinely people who hate and abuse kids, and that using the phrase made me sound like them. So I stopped saying it. But until then for me it seemed like such a no-brainer that I obviously didn’t *actually* hate kids (especially as I had been saying it since I was literally a kid myself) that it had never occurred to me to clarify.
Kids are people, you don’t have to want them but they’re part of society, and hating a whole group of people is yeah, dumb.
Two totally different things. Not wanting to have or raise children of your own is fine. People who say they hate kids are fucking weird.
Idk sounds like you might be taking him too literally.
Everyone here is being WAY too literal… does he literally hate every single kid on a personal level? I would highly doubt that. I have also said “I hate kids” on occassion. Do I mean that I actually hate them as individuals? No. I just hate the concept of them screaming and running around like spoiled brats. But I know kids. I have friends who have kids, and I actually like those kids. I have conversations with them and play games with them, because they’re in my life, not just some kid in the stall behind me trying to punch the back of my head, etc. I’m not some kind of psychopath with a personal vendetta against every single kid. So if your date is anything like me, I’d say he didn’t mean hate in a literal sense. Then again, if you’re still uncomfortable with that, then it’s of course totally fine not to date him or have anything to do with him.
When my wife or I say “we hate kids”, it’s actually more of “we hate kids who weren’t raised and disciplined appropriately”. One of our friends just had a cute little bastard and he’s gunna grow up to be a chill little nerd, and the kids some of my friends have are well behaved and fun to interact with- because they were raised right.
If you raise your kid to throw vegetables in a grocery store, yeah, I fucking hate your kid, and you.
So, I guess it depends on the context. If he’s a malicious cunt, yeah, fuck him. But if he’s like me and just wants parents to parent, pretty normal.
There’s a difference between not wanting to be a parent, and hating kids.
Finding it a turn-off is not weird at all
Definitely seems like a overreaction. He probably didn’t mean it literally. I’ll say I hate kids but it doesn’t mean I have a seething hatred for kids. They’re just loud and rambunctious and I prefer more chill environments.
You should have at least asked him to expand on that before coming to any decision.
Nah, there’s a big difference between not owning a pet and hating animals.
As another example.
Or not currently dating someone from a certain race versus hating people of that race.
One is avoidance, the other is prejudice (and that can be indicative of harsher psychological issues).
It’s not weird. In fact, no reason you could possibly give to stop seeing someone who made you uncomfortable is weird. If he had said, “I hate the color yellow” and it gave you bad vibes, then that’s a perfectly OK reason not to have a second date. I didn’t have a second date to a guy who seemed to be way too into his ferrets. Maybe he just was a super responsible pet owner, but the way he talked about it made me uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong with having ferrets or disliking kids. But that doesn’t mean either of us are obligated to give a second shot to someone who gave us the ick.
Not wanting kids and hating kids is very different. My brothers don’t want kids but they love my daughter. If they hated kids they wouldn’t choose to take an interest in her life like they do.
It is not weird you do not want to date a bigot who openly states his bigotry.
I’ve found the kind of people that say they hate kids are the ones that don’t have any exposure to them, apart from being annoyed by them in a cafe etc.
“Hate” attributes blame – it’s not unreasonable to have no desire to have a child, but to fault them for existing is definitely pretty bizarre.
Dude probably beats dogs too.
Not weird. Hate is a strong word and that too on the topic of kids? They’re annoying but we can’t expect much more from flesh pods with no idea of what they should do. Dislike? Maybe. Hate is a bit…. much
Not at all. Children are one of the most vulnerable groups in society – if someone happily and proudly states that they blanket hate on any group, let alone literal children? For the crime of what – existing without being convenient? HUGE red flag tbh, regardless of whether or not you want to have your own children. To have basic respect for them is human decency.
Not weird at all. There’s a difference between not wanting something as part of your day to day life and hating.
You can dislike some kids but you can’t “hate” them all , something’s wrong with you if you do
Big difference between not wanting kids and hating kids! And that’s his view on it. I know plenty of people that don’t want kids but still love them! Him hating kids is going to be a problem with most people he dates as most people have kids (their own, nieces, nephews, friends kids) that will be around. Unless you’re ok with knowing he hates them and potentially not wanting to go with you to events because kids will be there, you’re better off looking else where!
hating any group of people is a red flag.
I “hate” kids but I don’t hate kids. I wouldn’t say what he said. I just don’t want kids or feel like interacting with them but they don’t actively bother me by just existing. so idk what he meant by it for sure, but I couldn’t be someone that would let their existence bother them.
I don’t have kids of my own but there are kids in my life that I love. I would be wary of a partner who hates kids.
Perfectly normal. “I hate kids” sounds sociopathic, would make me worry about potential abuse down the road. There are much more appropriate ways to share a desire not to have children
You use the word “hate” in conjunction with words like “mosquitos” or “taxes” or “Nazis”
Using them in conjunction with “children” is definitely a turn-off.
That’s not weird. Making an “I hate xxx” statement that’s not about Brussels sprouts or something is just weird to me. Especially with kids. There are so many other ways to say something similar “I’m not great with kids.”, “Kids don’t tend to like me.”
I would imagine a man who hates kids is pessimistic.
I don’t think it is. I’m childfree myself and don’t like kids but hate is a strong word.
I used to follow childfree content on SM but every single one of them is just so weird. I never get how people can spend their time actively hating something. And many times it seems they’re looking for the opportunity to hate on every little thing a kid does.
I personally don’t like the word “hate.” It comes across as really harsh and generally when it’s used it seems like an exaggeration. Like, “I hate kids.” Do you? Do you really *hate* them? I get *disliking* them, sure. But hate? Come on.
Anyway nah, you’re fine.
Yeah, it’s not weird. “hating kids” and preferring not to raise kids are two different things. Not wanting children doesn’t equate to you yourself having to dislike kids. I don’t want to raise children, but that doesn’t mean I hate my neices, nephews, cousins, or friends’ children. I just don’t want to be around them 24/7, its a massive commitment to raise and guide another human being. This can impact your life if you don’t similarly agree to his viewpoint. It’s valid that his comment was a deciding factor. It could have been unhealthy for the both of you in the long run (depending on how far his dislike for children goes). It didn’t work out for the two of you, and you handled the situation amazingly, nothing weird about it.
No, it’s not weird. You might change your mind someday. You don’t know. Either way, you should be concerned about how he would feel being around your family or friend’s kids.
There’s a difference between wanting to be childfree actively hating children.
I don’t want any pets but I love playing with all of my families dogs, you know what I mean?
Totally valid. I’d do the same.
I’d feel similar with dogs to be honest. Totally fine if you don’t want the responsibility of having one! But if you said “I hate dogs” I’d probably think poorly of you.
It’s not weird at all. I also don’t want kids, but I still like kids. The times that I’ve given classes to kids were so much fun! Just because I don’t think I’d be a good parent doesn’t mean that I don’t want to interact with my niece or I lose all patience when a child is present.
Hating is a strong word unless you REALLY mean it.
Well not wanting kids and saying he hates kids is different.
I don’t want kids so much I sterilized myself. I am still kind to children.