#RelationshipAdvice #Trust #Jealousy #Communication #Boundaries
Feeling uncomfortable about your girlfriend going on a 2-week trip with a guy friend is a common reaction. It’s natural to feel a little bit of jealousy or uncertainty in situations like this. However, it’s important to approach this topic with understanding and open communication. Let’s explore the context of the situation and discuss some tips on how to handle it.
Understanding the Context
Before jumping to conclusions, it’s important to understand the context of your girlfriend’s trip. Here are some key points to consider:
– They are online friends and have known each for 2 years.
– They texted every day prior to me dating her and have met up once at the 1-year point (she visited him).
– They planned this 2-week-long Korea trip before she met me, so I guess that’s fair.
– They would be sleeping in the same hotel room.
– She said there’s nothing going on between them, and I believe her.
– The guy is single.
Tips for Handling the Situation
1. Open Communication is Key
It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your feelings. Express your concerns and fears in a calm and respectful manner. Listen to her perspective and give her the opportunity to reassure you about the trip.
2. Establish Boundaries
Discussing boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Set clear expectations about what is and isn’t okay in terms of interactions with the opposite sex. Establishing boundaries can help alleviate any insecurities and build trust in the relationship.
3. Trust Your Girlfriend
It’s essential to trust your partner unless they give you a reason not to. If your girlfriend has been honest and open with you about her friendship with this guy, it’s important to trust her words. Without trust, the relationship can become strained and suffer from unnecessary jealousy.
4. Consider How Long You’ve Been Dating
Consider the length and depth of your relationship with your girlfriend. If you’ve only been dating for 3 months, it’s important to take into account that you are still building trust and getting to know each other. It may be a good opportunity to discuss what is and isn’t comfortable for both of you moving forward.
5. Be Open-Minded
Try to approach the situation with an open mind. While it’s natural to feel uneasy about your girlfriend spending time with another man, try to see the situation from her perspective. Trust and understanding are essential in any healthy relationship.
6. Focus on Building Trust
Ultimately, building trust in a relationship takes time and effort from both parties. Work on strengthening the trust between you and your girlfriend by being supportive, communicative, and understanding.
Conclusion
In conclusion, feeling uncomfortable about your girlfriend going on a trip with a guy friend is a valid emotion. However, it’s important to approach the situation with understanding, open communication, and trust. By discussing boundaries and expressing your feelings, you can navigate this situation with your girlfriend and strengthen the trust in your relationship.
Remember, every relationship is unique, and it’s essential to find what works best for both you and your girlfriend. Keep the lines of communication open, be willing to listen, and continue to build a strong foundation of trust in your relationship. Trust in your girlfriend’s honesty, and focus on building a healthy and secure relationship together.
If you would like to discuss this topic further or have any relationship-related questions, feel free to reach out to us. We are here to help guide and support you in navigating the complexities of relationships. Good luck!🌟
Understandable that you are uncomfortable but, there is nothing you can do about it. If she’s going to mess around then you can’t stop it and if she’s not you have nothing to worry about.
Sorry to burst your bubble here man, but there most certainly is something going on between them. And I mean that the guy most definitely has feelings.
If they hit it off, she will drop you.
If they don’t hit it off, she will drop him.
If she comes back and wants to stay with you and stay in touch with him… run.
See you at the gym brotha.
They’re… you know
“The guy is single”, I think that you now OP
Bro, leave the relationship.
You should just go. Find something new and better. You will be happier
I definitely wouldn’t be happy. Hard to say if anything is going on, but you gotta assume the dude wants there to be something, that’s just the way guys work. 3 months isn’t that long and it probably feels like more for you than it does for her, so she might be open to seeing what happens with this guy. It sounds like a really big trip, people don’t make plans like that lightly. It really comes down to the kind of person she is, because at the end of the day you guys agreed to be exclusive.
Idk, that’s a tough situation. Hopefully he decides to stay and study Korean cooking for the rest of his days and he’ll be out of the picture.
OP, if you had a female “penpal”, so to speak, with whom you had been communicating daily and planned an overseas trip including sharing of rooms, would you be expecting (or at least hoping for) some sexual encounters to occur? Of course you would.
Aside from that, though, is the safety aspect. Can this guy be trusted? Is he really a front for a human trafficking organization? Will he get violent if she refuses his advances?
I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Just sayin’
i’m gonna go against the grain and probably get downvoted, but i have a boyfriend and a few weeks ago went away for the weekend with a male friend and shared a hotel room. my partner was okay with this.
it’s potentially different circumstances as me and my male friend have known each other for 10+ years and it’s not an online friendship, but there’s never been any funny business or anything even close.
i’d like to say give her the benefit of the doubt but be cautious, and tell her how you’re feeling. a trip with a friend doesn’t have to mean bad news 🙂
Yes, you are right to be uncomfortable.
This is wrong on so many levels.
Walk away
Return her to the streets
Nothing wrong in walking away OP
My past says that at some point she will say some variation of “I don’t see a ring on this finger, do you?” or “What happens on vacation stays on vacation… He doesn’t have to know!”
Sorry to be so cynical, but life has taught me those things.
I’m not saying it’s gonna end badly, I’m just saying you’re probably gonna hit a new PR at the local gym in the next 30 days.
Amino acids will help with the muscle recovery. See you there brother
🎶But you say he’s just a friend 🎶
Why’re you together if you don’t trust her?
You are the backup plan. This is their trip to see if there is real chemistry/fireworks or not. If so, you are gone. If no, she was you waiting at home why she was having a trial sex run with the guy she wants it to work with.
Spend the two weeks working on yourself and getting back into the dating pool.
She aint your girl bro. See you in the gym.
This should be your conversation:
U: when are you going?
Her: from this date to this date.
U: perfect! That’s more or less when I am meeting with my swedish pen pal Elga in Amsterdam. I’ll see you when we come back from our trips.
See her reaction.
(Then obviously get a new girlfriend cos this one is going to fuck that guy, if not on this trip on the next one or the next one …)
I have some female friends which I know absolutely nothing sexual will happen when we’d be sleeping in the same bed even when single. It’s not impossible. However those are woman I’ve known for years.
I’ve (f) have had many guy mates my entire life, I went to India with a guy friend I had known since high school while my bf stayed home. I used to holiday with guy mates out of town during the uni holidays. Nothing ever happened and I didn’t have feelings for my friends the way I did for my partner, because my partner was hot and awesome. I’m single now and often hang out with my single guy mates and still nothing happens because I’m not attracted to them. Just because they are the opposite sex doesn’t mean your gf is sexually attracted to them
2 weeks in the same hotel room? Nah man that ain’t above the belt
“they expect one of us in the wreckage brother”
It’s gonna slip out and she’s gonna reach down to put it back in for him
I went on vacation once with a girl who had a boyfriend. At this time we’ve been really good platonic friends. This girl is my wife now.
>Am I right be uncomfortable?
Yes.
>She said there’s nothing going on between them and I believe her.
And we don’t.
Walk away, start lifting. Peace unto you my brother.
Gg
Not yours anymore, but that’s ok. Just take time for yourself and move on.
Everyone here so far has provided you the truth. You say you trust her but I believe as a man deep inside you know the real deal which is probably why you’re even asking. Have some respect for yourself and prevent the hard lesson coming your way. Although a tough lesson isn’t bad but we’re all warning you…
Only question that matters here is “why didn’t she invite you to go as well?”
Nope
I get the whole holiday things with a friend but sharing a hotel room for two weeks? Hmmm I struggle to think of any circumstances that would sit ok with me.
Online friends and known each other for two years? For sure this guy is madly in love with her lol
Are you able to have a real conversation with her about your concerns, or is more like:
You: “Hey, I’m worried that you and your friend might get sexual on this trip…”
Her: “What?! No way! Of course not! How could you think that?!”
Or “OMG, what?! Shut up!”
People who can understand and empathize and communicate another’s concerns/anxieties are much more likely to be empathetic, compassionate, thoughtful people.
People who are personally offended by or disbelieving of other peoples concerns/anxieties are much more likely to be impulsive, self-centered people.
Do you trust your partner to adhere to both of your mutually agreed upon relationship values?
You are in your twenties. Why spend one of the best decades in your life like this my guy? Leave the situation and find someone who wants to go on a two week trip with you! Or do something on your own.
Good luck.
You should leave man. Women definitely know better and she won’t be fine if you did the same.
Everyone else is just being negative. Don’t just assume she’s gonna cheat on you.
Do you trust your girlfriend? If the answer is yes then trust her. Guys and girls can be platonic friends and it can just stay that way, I swear some people just can’t understand this fact. And like you said they planned this trip before she even got into a relationship with you. Unless you believe that your gf is such a shitty person as to go “I plan to cheat on this guy in 3 months”, then its probably is fine.
If you don’t trust her, then your relationship has deeper issues that need to be worked on.
One of two things is true:
1) Your girlfriend thinks you’re a fucking idiot.
2) Your girlfriend is a fucking idiot.
Neither is a good vibe.
I’d just cut your losses on this one, but if you really want the confirmation, tell her you were talking to (random benefactor) about her trip and someone offered to pay for you to go along as a Christmas present – It’s the least they could do for that “insert bullshit here”. See what the reaction there is.
Well im not jealous in relationships, either I trust my partner unconditionally or we break up, I can’t have it any other way, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
Friendship has nothing to do with genders or sexual attraction. They had plans before she met you, I assume everything is booked and paid for, understandable she want to go and spend time with a friend, doesn’t matter if it’s a friend she met online or offline, most of my most trusted friends are people I met online.
If you feel uncomfortable there is no right or wrong, talk about it with her, tell her how you feel and why.
You are instinctively programmed to be concerned and being concerned is a predictable, fair and reasonable response to the situation.
This may be an unpopular opinion as there’s lots of negativity on here but I don’t think this is an automatic cause for breaking up… the main question is whether you trust her. I’ve been on vacations with my male friends (completely platonic) and if both parties are respectful and understanding of the relationship it can work out fine.
In fact, this may be a good way to determine if you can trust your partner. Let her go, if something happens it will come out and you can break up with her for the breach of trust. If nothing happens, you’ll know you can trust her and have your answer. It’s better than looking jealous and not letting your partner go somewhere with a friend.
Do you guys also assume all gay friends fuck each other?