#HelpMeOut #PrivacyPlease #RespectMySpace
So, picture this – you’re just trying to enjoy a peaceful shower, maybe singing along to your favorite tunes, when your husband drops a bombshell on you. Turns out, he’s been listening outside the bathroom door to check if you’re getting a little, um, acquainted with yourself while you’re in there. Talk about a major invasion of privacy!
Now, I don’t know about you, but if I were in this situation, I would be feeling pretty darn uncomfortable and violated. I mean, who wants their private moments scrutinized like that, right? So, how do you address this delicate issue with your husband without hurting his feelings or making him feel disrespected?
Let’s face it, communication is key in any relationship, and it’s important to set boundaries and uphold your own sense of privacy. How about having a heart-to-heart with him, explaining how his actions make you feel and emphasizing the need for mutual respect and trust in your relationship? It’s tough, I know, but sometimes these difficult conversations can lead to a stronger and more understanding connection between partners.
So, what do you think? How would you approach this situation? Have you ever experienced something similar in your own relationships? Let’s chat and figure this out together! 💬🤔 #RelationshipStruggles #PrivacyMatters #CommunicateBetter
What is he 5? This is extremely controlling on his part. But I do have to ask, is there a reason you want to masturbate in the shower? Is the sex not enough. Not judging just asking as this might be part of the problem
If you’re in your own home, and you’re doing that kind of stuff by yourself, you’re not cheating haha I think this kind of shows his immaturity. I can see how this could be very off putting to you.
I can promise you that this won’t stop, this will last a very long time until you “snap” at him. And even then he’ll probably say you’re getting defensive or something so “he’s right”
You should def have a sit down convo with him and express how you think it’s messed up.
You should not have to worry about disrespecting your husband when he is clearly violating your privacy. You are allowed to touch your body however you please and if he doesn’t like it he needs to talk to a therapist about his insecurities.
This is so weird and creepy… masturbation is not cheating! Knowing your body and spending time with it is valuable and fine. His behavior is very bizarre and it seems like he is trying to police your sexual expression or at least make sure he gets to benefit from it
It’s a red flag for me. If he is disrespecting your alone time, why do you care if your response makes him feel disrespected?
Edit: spelling
You shouldn’t tell him anything and have your divorce lawyer do it instead.
Wait, I remember this movie – American Psycho.
Oh, not a movie – but a horror indeed. If you used your fingers instead, I feel he might get the chopping board out to prevent you cheating on him, with – yourself?
what a CREEP. Ew. I would need another shower right away after he told me this.
Who cares if you’re “disrespecting” him by telling him the truth that this is nasty stalker behavior?
Masturbation is not cheating, what you do in the shower is between you and that spider in the corner, and there is no way I believe this is the only thing that he’s controlling about.
This reeks of insecurity on his part. It’s an awful behavior to exhibit as a result of the insecurity. Masturbation isn’t disrespectful in a relationship, it’s absolutely healthy and it certainly isn’t cheating. If your intent is to resolve this issue, I’d ask him why he equates masturbation to cheating.
You mentioned you use the toy together during sex, does that mean he is comfortable with it? Has he ever expressed being intimidated by it? Have you two dropped in your frequency or quality of intimacy together and he’s now developed this insecurity, or is it something he’s always had? He’s absolutely in the wrong for doing this, and needs to respect your boundary and privacy to do what you want to do with your alone time.
This is your husband?
That’s a no from me dude. Major major red flags. Gtfo of there ASAP. I can’t imagine my partner doing that to me, his behavior is disturbing af.
Notice how many instances in just this short summary of events involve him doing something transparently unreasonable, controlling, or outright creepy and you feeling obliged to apologise and change your behaviour.
His argument regarding the vibrator was silly. He clearly broke it. He’s been listening to you for months. He’s policing you behaviour and what you do.
The biggest joke being that he chose to double down on this on a night where you weren’t even masturbating. If you had any doubt this was all bullshit that’s it right there, this isn’t about you it’s about his weird paranoid fantasies concocted in his own head. He’s listening to running water and working himself up into a rage, it’s genuinely sad.
He will interpret anything you say that doesn’t align with what he wants as disrespect. That’s the simple reality of it, that he wants unreasonable [and disrespectful] control over your bodily autonomy on top of setting the precedent that even masturbating is cheating. He is justifying toxic, abusive behaviour and realistically it only gets worse from here. What happens when he decides you talking to male working staff at a restaurant is ‘basically cheating’ or whatever.
Divorce him. I’m serious. He’s weird as fuck and masturbating isn’t cheating. “How do I tell my husband to stop regularly violating my privacy and disrespecting me without making him mad” is what you’re essentially asking for advice on. You can’t shower in peace without being barged in on and accused of cheating…and you’re in there alone. This is the marriage you want for the rest of your life? You’re only 21…he’s never going to change and if anything it will snowball into other aspects of your life. Divorce.
That dude needs to talk to a therapist
Tell him you can’t cheat when you’re alone.
And he shouldn’t be jealous of something that doesn’t even have a brain.
Girl HE is disrespecting YOU by listening in on you while you shower. Why are YOU worried about disrespecting him?!
He is sooo manipulative and his logic doesn’t even make sense. You could masturbate literally anywhere, since you guys aren’t together 24/7 right?
He is trying to dictate a part of your life and he will not stop there. Maybe he wants to check in what you eat soon because if you try to loose weight, it could be for your affair Partner. Going out with a friend? Let’s see if you are not cheating! And what will he do if he doesn’t like what you are doing, who you meet, how long you stay there etc? He will gaslight you into thinking he is right and only wants to protect you and your relationship.
Dump this creep and buy a new sex toy, please!
And stay Safe, you might want to prepare some next steps in Advancen (Put money aside where only you can Access, get your valuables out to a friend or family member, get a lawyer…)
Crimson flag right here, dude is a lunatic.
And this is why you don’t marry young. You married too soon with the wrong person. I am a man, but this is a very wrong, off putting way of acting that no sane man would. That is not how you treat a woman living with you. This a sign of potential worse behavior. Divorce is an option. It has nothing to do with masturbation and everything to do with how controlling he is. Also masturbating isn’t the same as cheating. I am reflecting more about and this might be an early sign of violent behavior. You should really consider divorcing him before it gets worse.
why does he care
Run!
This is *beyond* creepy of him and a total violation of your privacy and personal space, as you said. It’s also a huge red flag that he considers you engaging in such activities as “basically cheating”, to the point where he’s previously guilted you into apologizing for it and promising not to do it again.
Now he’s admitted to going and sitting outside the bathroom door to listen to you every single time you shower, trying to ‘catch’ you in the act?
Don’t take this the wrong way, but the last thing you need to worry about in how you respond to him, is concern for him feeling disrespected. His behavior is super controlling and definitely sends up all kinds of red flags, have you guys been married long? Is everything else in your relationship generally good, aside from this? I would say that I hope the answer is yes and that this is just some outlier, fluke incident, but I get the vibe that it’s not.
This kind of behavior is what you typically see with abusive partners as a kind of foreshadowing, even if you’re able to placate him through forced apologies and any concessions you might make or whatever, there’s going to be something else down the line that causes other problems, because ultimately people like your husband (based on the description/info given) want control.
This is a deal breaker on so many levels. It is in no way shape or form cheating. And the top reason is absolutely needing to feel in control of everything you’re doing to include, apparently, what’s happening in your mind. Leave him
This is abusive
yeah…this guy is a fucking lunatic. get away from him for your own safety
I’m soo dry on your behalf.
Next thing you know he’ll accuse you of having an affair with the toaster…
Do the same shit to him. Make sure to tell him that using his hand is cheating and ask what her name is. Show him how unhinged he sounds.
What the fuck
He doesn’t own your sexuality. This is creepy.
That some weird and fucked up shit. You shouldn’t even thinking about his feelings considering about feedback of this subject.
You own your personal space both physically and mentally. Your man is violating both of those.
M36
Thank you all for your responses. They have been eye opening. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by how much more severe you’re making me realize this is…