#RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries #Communication
Hey there! ๐ I’m sorry to hear that you had this uncomfortable experience with your boyfriend. Let’s dive into it and see if we can help you understand the situation better. ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
First of all, it’s important to acknowledge that what happened was NOT okay. Slapping someone, whether jokingly or not, without their consent is never acceptable. ๐ซ๐ It’s great that you already recognize this and are unsure about how to proceed from here.
Communication is key in any relationship, and it’s especially important when it comes to boundaries. It’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about what happened and how it made you feel. ๐ฃ๏ธโค๏ธ
Express your emotions and concerns to him, explaining that you were hurt and scared by his reaction. It’s important for him to acknowledge the impact of his actions and take responsibility for them. โจ๐
Remember, setting and respecting boundaries is vital in a healthy relationship. Your bedroom preferences should not be assumed to apply outside of that context. Consent is a fundamental aspect of all physical interactions. ๐
If after having a conversation, your boyfriend understands and respects your feelings, it can be a positive sign for growth and mutual understanding in your relationship. However, if he dismisses your concerns or fails to acknowledge the impact of his actions, it might be worth reevaluating the relationship. ๐คโ
Always prioritize your emotional well-being, and know that you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, respected, and heard. Don’t hesitate to seek support from loved ones or professionals if you need guidance through this process. ๐ช๐
Remember, you have the right to establish your boundaries and have them respected. Wishing you the best as you navigate this situation! ๐๐ค
You mean ex boyfriendโฆ right? RIGHT?
As a man into slapping as a BDSM expression this is NOT ON
He assaulted you
And thatโs how it starts. A slap, then his hand around your throat, then bruises, then lying to your friends and family saying it happened at work. Every instance is the new bar to be pushed further and further.
Listen to me, I endured 5 fucking years of that. It does not get better. You get lower. They get bolder. Whatever your living situation is, change it.
And you donโt owe them an explanation, what you owe them is telling everyone who and what they are
Fuck that dude.
Heโs trying to carry the submissive INTO DAILY LIFE.
You can do two things. Get used to the fear of being hit by him for making jokes. Or. Get the fuck outa there.
Which is what you should do. Full stop.
Hitting is a deal-breaker. Period. Get away from him. A man who has no problem hitting you once will keep doing it.
That was the end of the relationship, OP….
Why is he not your ex?
You mean your ex-boyfriend. Right?
Girl, if you stay, this is just the beginning. It will escalate from here. It is the classic pattern of every abuser. Run far, run fast.
I am a guy and I will ask you to please leave him.
He can be upset.
He can be hurt.
He can feel a bit insulted.
None of these give him the right to physically strike you.
BDSM is two consensual adults with safe words and boundaries is completely different.
Using violence when he is angry is a major red flag. And it is definitely a point that you should leave over. Communication occurs with words, not violence.
Dump him
Never give someone a second chance to hit you.
>He then continued like nothing happened and went on about his life.
This will keep happening and escalate. I guarantee that if you set a boundary, he will act like the victim and try to guilt you. Get out before it escalates and move on with your life.
Youโre not making a big enough deal out of it wtfโฆ imagine slapping people for jokes. What a freak. Leave.
Didn’t even read your post. If anyone ever hits you, never speak to them again
Be prepared for routine beatings if you stay with him.
This happened a MONTH ago?
Girl. Girl. GIRL.
Break up with him. Period. He thinks he can hit you when you say words, do you think he’s gonna change your mind because you did nothing about it?
You took the slap quietly and have now spent a month being the girlfriend of somebody who hit you. Why would he think it’s not okay to hit you more?
This is not normal, this is not okay, this is assault, this is abuse.
Behavior like this only escalates, and can end in literal death. Run.
BDSM is consensual, this wasn’t consensual. It was just assault, the two things are not in the same plain.
It is a big deal
i also like being slapped in the bedroom, but cannot imagine my partner ever slapping me during a disagreement! thatโs not okay, and there is no reason for anyone to slap you during a disagreement. your sexual preferences have no ties to not being domestically abused, they arenโt related at all
If he hit you he will do it again and probably escalate.
You need to consider your own safety and leave ASAP
This is the start of domestic abuse. Whether or not the joke you made was bad or disrespectful, why would anyone be comfortable with hitting their SO??
Do you want to become a victim of domestic violence? Because this is how it starts. He went on as if everything was normal after slapping you. He will get used to it and so will you. Don’t put up with it, leave.
No comment here will make you leave him unless you want to, that should be quite obvious. These type of abusive relationships, you either leave or donโtโ 1000 million people can say go and if you donโt want then you wonโt. By suggestion is wake the hell up and make the hard decisions.
In my opinion:
Funny pointed joke.
Correct response:
Babe that hurt my feelings, I want to make sure Iโm satisfying you. Was that joke rooted in truth? If it is, what can I do?
Incorrect response:
What you experienced.
You need to leave him, as quickly and safely as possible. What he did is not ok, and you are obviously not ok with it because you are feeling the way that you are and posting here. IMHO it will get worse.
Absolutely break up with him right now. *over text from a safe place
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Be worried. Be very worried. That is a giant red flag.
Bedroom kinks does not mean it is okay once you leave the room. It is possible he somehow thinks it is and he is also incredibly insecure.
Leave. It likely wonโt be the last time or the worst infringement.
You’re young…please dump this guy immediately. There are better people out there. Don’t settle for this. Things will only escalate if you stay. Don’t ignore the red flags.
Leave
Are you kidding!?! This is unacceptable. You need to understand this. There should be no question in your mind. Leave or it will get worse.
Everyone is telling you that you should leave him but NOT how. I know you wont, but thats ok. You are involved emotionally and mentally in this relationship.
Here is how to teach your brain to slowly not want to be in this relationship:
1. 1. Get. Into. Martial. Arts. Its freaking empowering to hit a boxing sack. Next time you can hit him back and maybe hell learn his place.
2. Read about domestic violence and how it starts. There are books about that for while you are still IN a relationship: [https://www.amazon.com/Power-Break-Free-Workbook-Survivors/dp/0984892370](https://www.amazon.com/Power-Break-Free-Workbook-Survivors/dp/0984892370)
3. Romanticize about single life. About getting a cat or dog when as a support when you break free, or a vacation. Being alone can be scary, but you are so young and it can be an exiting time to rediscover yourself
4. Keep in mind that when we are young we are always trying to be emphatic about the other person. But there are times, when you just don’t need to do that. Physical abuse is one of them
5. I hope that one day you have the courage to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. I wish you all the best.
this is only going to escalate.
either hes been wanting to slap you outside the bedroom for a while, and was waiting for an opportunity to see if he good get away with it
or, if it wasnt premeditated, that means his immediate instinct when he was offended by something his gf said was to slap her.
neither of these are good or safe
Wtf that reaction was really weird. Thereโs no excuse to put ur hands on someone like this without consent. Leave now. As soon as it gets physical, thereโs no other option. Especially when he just continued on like he did nothing wrong.