#feelingold #ruinedlife #financialstruggle
Understanding the Depth of Financial Struggle
Feeling overwhelmed and like you’ve ruined your life due to financial struggles is a common experience. Let’s break down the situation to gain clarity and perspective.
Financial Breakdown
– Monthly Income: $4000
– Monthly Expenses:
– Rent: $1400
– Car: $400
– Energy/Gas: $100-400 (winter)
– Groceries/Internet: $200-350
– Dog expenses: $150
– Medications: $150-200
– Contacts: $50
– Additional Expenses: gas, toiletries, doctor appointments, unforeseen costs
Coping with Debt and Responsibilities
With debt looming over you, along with the responsibility of providing for yourself and your dogs, it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed. The burden of past choices can weigh heavily on your present reality.
Seeking Solutions and Support
It’s essential to realize that you are not alone in facing financial challenges. Consider the following steps to work towards a solution:
– Create a budget and track your expenses
– Explore debt repayment options and seek financial counseling
– Look into assistance programs for pet care expenses
– Prioritize self-care and mental health support
Realizing the Potential for Change
While it may seem like a daunting task to dig yourself out of debt and financial strain, it’s crucial to remember that change is possible. By taking small steps towards financial stability and seeking support when needed, you can begin to rebuild your future.
Embracing Hope for the Future
Remember, mistakes and challenges do not define your entire life. By acknowledging past decisions and focusing on positive changes moving forward, you can navigate through financial hardships and create a brighter future for yourself and your furry companions.
In conclusion, while the road ahead may be challenging, it is important to recognize that there are always possibilities for improvement and growth. By seeking help, making informed financial decisions, and prioritizing your well-being, you can work towards a more stable and fulfilling future. Remember, it’s never too late to take control of your situation and pursue a brighter tomorrow. #financialburden #hopeforfuture
Your share is very powerful since it comes from a point of I can’t take this anymore remember this shall pass. Thanks for sharing because I know that your post was emotionally hard to create to reflect at this moment.
Course of living is choking, many of us to the point of basically living pay paycheck and wishing there was a miracle.
I want to say that you have taken this first step which is to acknowledge the situation. Remember you are alone and they are communities to help support you in this journey. Earlier this year, I came to the same realization that I need to stop hemorrhaging and how did I get here. A friend suggested to check out debt anonymous which I did and I stopped going to schedule. I have the book and I find them very supportive at the meetings they provide Steps and tools to create an action plan.
Big hug one step at a time.
Getting out of debt is like being put on a diet. When you start questioning every purchase you will see a change. Lots of small changes make big impacts. Try to eliminate going out to eat—I found that prepped food from the supermarket is far cheaper than going out to eat. And yes, as mentioned above, consider a roommate.
Maybe you could pick up a side gig like pet sitting. Bring your dogs to the park and see who they get along with and approach the owner with your services. At the same time, don’t take anymore dogs home!!
You did not fuck up and this IS FIXABLE. If you are depressed, I highly suggest going to therapy and getting meds because otherwise you are white knuckling it. I was once in about $30k in debt because I was paying for two kids in freaking daycare but now I’m debt free. We had a lot of setbacks in between (water pipe bursts, ac went out) but we persevered. You will too.
Get into veterinary lab sales and raise that income.
It’s a doable situation. The two biggest bangs for your buck would be rent- either getting a roommate or something that brings that cost down. Or finding a way to add some more income: DoorDash, house sitting, Rover, etc.
I would start by trying your best to put $1000 into savings so if something comes up you do not have to use your credit cards.
Cut back on the real incidental things like eating out.
All that stuff you bought that you don’t need sell on Craigslist.
It takes time and don’t get discouraged when you feel like nothing is happening. Debt is accumulated fast but takes a long time to clean up.
Mate chill…
These are very tiny problems. Depending on where you live these issues can be solved differently – especially the dog meds.
I would get a cheaper car, drop the lenses and get glasses for time being
4k net is very decent income to deal with 20k debt – i presume the credit card interest is high as hell so deal with that first and schedule the vet bill
And 150 for dog food seems excessive even if you are in Caly etc. tick etc medicine is needed only 3 times per year ( for example in some eu countries only twice per year) get that stuff from canada or mexico
Get rid of the dog(s). You struggle to support yourself, why add extra mouths to feed and medical expenses?
Lots of great suggestions here! I can’t add anything
Make a plan with a budget and stick to it
Anyone taking care of 3 dogs has an unbelievable heart
You made mistakes but hey you’re not dead!
It’s fixable
Takes hard work and commitment
You got this
Read the Debt portion of the pf Wiki in the Prime Directive (sidebar of this sub).
You need to:
1. Create an actual budget. (Your post has a loose budget, but many undefined categories with no dollar amount.
2. **Track all of your expenses** against the budget to ensure you’re staying on track.
3. Find ways to increase your income. Consider a PT job or some other way to make additional money. This will allow you to accelerate your debt payoff AND create an emergency fund so that when things come up, your budget won’t implode.
4. Consider pet insurance or potentially rehoming your pets. Pets are **expensive** and you have **three**. I had one small dog for nearly 18 years. I never got pet insurance because it “wasnt a thing” for the first several years of her life. By the time it became mainstream, she was too old and no one would cover her. For the first decade of her life, monthly bills were minimal since she was small – food, flea/tick/heartworm preventative. As she aged, she developed chronic health conditions that required regular medication and vet visits. She even had to regularly see an animal ophthalmologist and she had to see a neurologist. In the last 3 years of her life, i was spending $200-500 *monthly* on her medications, supplements, and vet visits. That was more than my own grocery budget. I was fortunate to have the resources to make sure she had the best care so that I wouldn’t have to make the awful decision to not treat her because I couldn’t afford it.
Get rid of the dog. Every single one of these stories has obscene pet expenses. That’s a luxury you cannot afford. You owe $3,500 on surgery for your dog? That, plus your monthly dog spend, could go a long way towards killing that credit card debt. You need to reduce expenses like crazy, and this will become a lot easier for you.
I just did a program with a company that uses lawyers to negotiate a settlement with your credit card companies. In 5 years you’re debt free and your credit doesn’t tank like bankruptcy, since youre technically paying it off. I used accredited debt relief. Always worth a look.
Maybe sell the car and get something without a monthly payment? Drop the lenses and get glasses. Thats over 5k a year to put towards debt.
Hot damn. 4k a month and your rent is only 1400. And you’re in debt. I think that solves itself. Good luck op..
You have NOT ruined your life! You’ve created a situation for yourself that is stressful but it’s absolutely something you can come out of. I think a mindset shift can really help here. You sound like you have the weight of the world on you, but this is figure outable. Probably all the advice you need is in this thread.
Here’s what I did:
– Moved into a situation that helped me maximally reduce my housing costs. You could move to a rural area for a year or get a roommate.
– Spent less than I earned and threw the rest at the debt so that I could see the statement amount lowered every month. I am a big picture type of person and focused not so much on line items (which might have slowed me down personally because of overthinking or overwhelm) but on seeing the total statement amount from the month before go down.
– Take pleasure in reducing costs in as many places as you can. See how long you can get by reasonably without spending any money. Become a good cook. Follow instagrammers who throw whole dinner parties for under $100. Get inspired by minimalism. Grab a book and go outside for a walk with your dogs instead of to the bar (if that’s your thing).
It is going to take time. And it does require persistence. Some months are better on paper than others and you just keep going. It took me 2 years. But I still thoroughly enjoyed my life in that time. I found keeping finance content around me to be helpful. Reading or thumbing through IWTYTBR or listening to a Ramsey episode where someone paid off their debt (I love those. It’s about about DR) keeps your mind gently on the goal.
You can 100% do this. Start with one month. Next month make sure the statement balance is lower than it was this month.
Probably the best advice I can give you is to find out how to make more money. You say you make “decent” money, but I bet you could make amazing money. Go into sales or real estate, learn how to code, go back to school, switch careers. Right now I’m making $85k and I’m not happy with it so I’m going into sales to try to make at least $100-150k. I think too often we pick a career and settle because changing seems too hard
You can solve this whole situation within a year. Hardly a “life ruined” spot you’re in.
So I added up your budget using the top numbers (max utilities, max food) and it comes to 2950 a month. You said your take home is 4000.
You have 1050 wiggle room a month.
Get on a budget. Get one of those apps where it scans your bank account and organizes where your dollars are going because unless your credit card payment is 1k a month, you have a lot of room in your budget to get on track.
My guess is the leak is food. Ain’t no way you’re spending 350 on food + internet together along with dog food for three dogs. C’mon now. You NEED to know your numbers.
I just want to acknowledge that being a single-income household is hard.
What about getting a bank loan to pay off the credit card debt?
Sorry but on this income and other expenses, you really cannot afford to be a dog owner.
You are 100% not hopeless, I assure you there is light at the end of the tunnel with some planning and discipline. Let’s see your current financial state now:
| **Income/Expense** | **Monthly Amount ($)** |
|——————————-|———————–|
| **Income** | 4000 |
| Rent | 1400 |
| Car | 400 |
| Energy/Gas | 250 (avg) |
| Groceries/Internet | 275 (avg) |
| Dog expenses | 150 |
| Medications | 175 (avg) |
| Contacts | 50 |
| **Total Expenses** | 2700 |
| **Remaining for Debt/Savings**| 1300 |
Then your debt:
| **Debt Type** | **Total Amount ($)** | **Monthly Payment ($)** |
|———————|———————-|————————|
| Dog Surgery | 3500 | 100 (min) |
| Credit Card | 15000 | 300 (min) |
| **Total Debt** | 18500 | 400 (min) |
Some immediate steps you can take NOW to fix this systematically:
1. **Create a Budget:** pay yourself _first_ and then service your debt incrementally
– **Income**: $4000
– **Essential Expenses**: $2700
– **Minimum Debt Payments**: $400
– **Remaining**: $900
2. **Emergency Fund**: sounds like you don’t have an emergency fund set-up yet, so I would advice your prioritize this too just for a rainy day. Any amount is good! Have measurable incremental goals.
– Allocate $100 per month to build an emergency fund.
– Goal: $1000 in 10 months.
3. **Debt Repayment Strategy**: now the tricky part is saving enough each month to make a dent on your debt. I’d recommend a variant of this plan:
– Use the remaining $800 to pay down debts.
– Prioritize high-interest debt (credit card). <- make sure the highest APRs go first
– Consider debt snowball or avalanche method. More on that here https://www.ramseysolutions.com/debt/how-the-debt-snowball-method-works
Here’s a scenario of how the debt repayment plan would pan out over the course of N months (Excel is your friend here! this is just a rough sketch but you can simulate whatever scenario you need/want):
| **Month** | **Remaining Debt ($)** | **Monthly Payment ($)** | **Notes** |
|———–|————————|————————-|—————————-|
| 1 | 18500 | 900 | Allocate $100 to emergency fund, $800 to debt |
| 2 | 17700 | 900 | Continue payments |
| 3 | 16900 | 900 | |
| 4 | 16100 | 900 | |
| 5 | 15300 | 900 | |
| 6 | 14500 | 900 | |
| 7 | 13700 | 900 | |
| 8 | 12900 | 900 | |
| 9 | 12100 | 900 | |
| 10 | 11300 | 900 | Emergency fund goal reached |
| 11 | 10400 | 1000 | Increase to $1000 (reallocate emergency fund savings) |
| 12 | 9400 | 1000 | |
| 13 | 8400 | 1000 | |
| 14 | 7400 | 1000 | |
| 15 | 6400 | 1000 | |
| 16 | 5400 | 1000 | |
| 17 | 4400 | 1000 | |
| 18 | 3400 | 1000 | |
| 19 | 2400 | 1000 | |
| 20 | 1400 | 1000 | |
| 21 | 400 | 1000 | Final payment |
I _really_ like taking on financial milestones because it’s a clear way to stay on track and motivated to keep going. Some milestones I’d suggest:
0. **Day 1/NOW**: create a plan, add $50 to your emergency fund.
1. **Month 1**: start budgeting and contributing more towards an emergency fund.
1. **Month 5**: 1/4 of your debt gone!
1. **Month 10**: Reach $1000 in emergency savings
1. **Month 12**: 1/2 of your debt gone!
3. **Month 21**: Become debt-free.
It is certainly _doable_ but you will need discipline and cut back on unnecessary spending along the way. Remember to celebrate milestones as well to keep you motivated, treat yourself!
So you begin with stop feeling sorry for yourself ‘I still do not have any help’ ….most of us don’t. You take home more than the national average.
Your budget is very ambiguous ‘car 400’ ….why? Do you have extremely expensive insurance because you are a terrible driver? Are you paying 350 a month to lease a car? Do you even NEED a car? If so why are you paying so much a month for it instead of having a ‘beater’?
But before we get to ‘gas’ and everything else you are at 3k. You should be alright. ‘various other expenses’ you need to really look at your expenses. Even if the ‘other’ category is 500 a month you are still completely alright, you have $500 to pay towards debt in the winter, 800 during the summer within 2 years your debt can be completely taken care of.
It sounds simple but you either need to make more or spend less. Spending less is often the easy solution. But I cannot stress this part enough: DO NOT GET ANOTHER DOG. It doesn’t matter if you get a pay increase DO NOT INCREASE YOUR EXPENSES.
Get rid of the dogs. It stuns me how many people insist on having dogs that can’t afford them. Those animals are robbing you of a secure future in retirement.
I can show you “ruined life”…what you just described is nowhere close to it…
You are okay.
Start with creating an actual budget moving from “I spend 200-350 on…” to “i spend no more than $275”.
Once you are clear on monthly expenses. Save up 1 month emergency fund.
Start attacking debt. Make extra money where you can.
Build positive habits and don’t turn back!
I got a second job to pay down cc debt. Literally allocate every cent to the debt until it’s no more. Honestly feels like I’ll pay it off in no time. I’d suggest that, make sure it’s easy and low hours if you can so you don’t get overwhelmed
You absolutely have NOT ruined your life! You’ve done solid things with your life so far! You got training in a field you cared about! You leveled up and got a better job! You’ve rescued 3 dogs! You live on your own! Give yourself some credit! You have some debt, yes. But under 20k. It’s a lot, but it’s not an impossible lot.
As others have mentioned, it’s a good idea to give yourself a lot more clarity on your budget. Figure out exactly where your money is going, and prioritize.
If it were me, the contacts would be the first to go. They’re a hassle and a daily expense where a pair of basic glasses can be had for under $20 shipped. (I use payneglasses) The eye infection risk goes away too. You could treat yourself to a new pair every month and still come out money ahead.
Talk with local animal shelters to see if they can direct you to community resources for free or low cost pet meds and animal food. Many shelters realize that supporting pet owners keeps pets in the home and out of shelters, so they can refer you to services to reduce pet costs.
Oh, and about flea and tick – spot-on treatments are great, but they can be spendy. I use Kennel Dip on my dogs 1x a month. I can do all 3 dogs with one $19 bottle instead of buying Frontline in 3 different sizes. I even dunk the neighbor’s dog if she’s hanging out! Even my outdoor livestock guardian has no fleas or ticks with it, so it’s good stuff, and budget friendly.
Most importantly though, get a handle on where your money is going – exactly where – and with all of it. You itemized only $2900, so there’s some “extra” in there somewhere. You’re not ruined here. You’re just in a pickle. But it’s not like you’re trying to fight this battle on $7 an hour. You’ve got the tools to get out of this! You’re already turning the ship around! It’s just going to take time and planning to complete.