🤔💍🏡 Planning to raise a child with your partner and buy a new house together? What to do when she doesn’t want to get married? Let’s discuss the legal and emotional aspects of this situation!
Hashtags: #RelationshipAdvice #Parenting #RealEstate #Marriage #LegalQuestions
– It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns and thoughts regarding marriage and the house purchase.
– Consider consulting with a legal professional to understand your rights and responsibilities when buying a house with a partner who is not your spouse.
– You may want to explore alternative options such as creating a cohabitation agreement or a property agreement to protect your interests in case of separation.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Any advice for our fellow Redditor as they navigate this complex situation? Share your insights and experiences! 🏠💬👫
> Are there any legal advantages to buying a house with someone who is not your wife?
There are zero advantages and a whole bunch of disadvantages. I would not recommend doing this.
> Say she wants to leave in say 5 years and live a separate life. Would she own half of the house’s equity?
Yes.
It’s generally a bad idea to buy a home with someone who is not your legal spouse.
As far as custody, plenty of unmarried couples raise children together. The specifics depend on your state. Make sure to establish paternity immediately when the baby is born, if possible. You can do this by signing a voluntary Acknowledgement of paternity at the hospital. Your rights as an unmarried father depend on your state.
Really a bad idea to enter into, but if you do you would need a lawyer to draw up appropriate agreements and advise on any rights that would attach.
For example, you could agree to pay proportionately for the house, and agree to certain maintenance responsibilities and use rights…
Definitely don’t go in just putting both names on the title, that would amount to giving her a gift of 50% of the difference in your down payments, plus appreciation
NAL. I would emphasize to her that you want to get the house, live together, and raise your child. I would then tell her that you want to make the entire down payment yourself and have your name alone on the deed. Just be honest about the reason. Tell her that you’re uncomfortable making such a lopsided investment in the house and having her as 50% owner if you’re not married. It’s hard to argue with.
Do not put her name on any financing or the deed. You could draw up a contract where she is loaning you her portion of the down payment in exchange for a payment plan/lump sum payout in the event you break up. If that happens, you can pull that money out of the house through a HELOC and pay her off.
Also, make her sign a month to month lease agreement with you if living together. You’ll regret it if you don’t if/when things get sour.
If she’s not willing to make these concessions, you don’t buy a house. Simple.
Just have a lawyer draft a written agreement for you that outlines what will happen in the event of a split including 1) how much each person will get back in terms of contribution to down payment or improvements after debt is paid off; 2) what percentage of the equity each person will get after debt and down payments are paid off/back, 3) who will get a right of first refusal on buying the other person out of their equity interest and how long that person will have to buy the other person out and refinance them off the debt 4) how the cost of repairs will be split when readying the home for sale etc . . .
A lot of jurisdictions will let you take title as Tenants in Common by the percentage each of you owns (based on size down payments) as well.
TLDR – go see a real estate lawyer
You should absolutely not buy a house with her if you are not getting married. Especially at a 110 – 20 split, you are better off buying a house by yourself. It a whole lot easier to evict a tenant vs a forced partition sale if you ever break up.
NAL. I live in SC and was in a similar situation. I ended up paying for the whole down payment and only financed the house in my name. I was the only one on the deed as well but I did create a will that if I passed away the house would go to her. I also made all the mortgage payments so there would be no confusion as to what was going on. We are still together but 3 years after the birth of our child we hit a rough spot and she wanted to move on. Because she paid nothing towards the mortgage she had enough in her bank account to leave if she wanted to. However even if she had saved nothing, my assets was protected and it would have been an eviction situation at the end of the day.
I saw one comment mention it but just wanted to give more detail, you can buy a house and handle the deed a number of ways. Typically you buy as joint tenants, which gives each of you an equal share and automatically passes ownership to the remaining owner if one dies. In this case, she would indeed be entitled to half of the property despite a lower contribution. You can instead opt to hold the title as tenants in common, in which case you establish what percentage you each own. In this case ownership of the property does not automatically pass to the surviving tenant in common.
My partner and I are not married and are on our second house together, plus have a kid. I put down significantly more both times that we bought a house, so I went on the title as having 80% ownership. We additionally wrote up an agreement governing what would happen if we broke up or whatever, and both signed it. We found [this website](https://andysirkin.com/tenancy-in-common-tic/) very useful.
Cool. See ya.
She gets sick & Needs to be hospitalized. You have a kid and house together. The access and rights you have as a boyfriend are almost null. Even if she wants you there , in most cases no one has any obligation or motivation to grant you access to help her. Switch roles , same result. One of you passes bc of an accident , now the other is balls deep into inheritance fights with the others immediate families outside of a will specifically addressing this. My now wife and I lived like this for awhile. Marriage became the easy button to address the legal concerns.
Don’t get married but seek legal help and set up guardianships, power of attorney’s etc. Not only will you have a house together but a child. Pay the money to stitch things up if things go south or one of you dies.
DO NOT DO THIS. Sounds like she is setting you up for failure and her benefit. If you aren’t comfortable DO NOT MOVE FORWARD
Do common law relationships not exist where you are?
Why don’t you buy the house in your name only and have her pay the utilities in lue of rent or have her pay the equivalent of what she would have paid for rent to you. then if she moves out in 5 years she can move on without damage- but if you two work out and stay together she can inherit if she outlives you. People don’t need marriage for a commitment these days.
But raising your child in a stable home and a local school will always be a win.
If you’re not getting married don’t buy a house together.
If y’all aren’t married it will be the worst mistake you make. Put the house in your name only.
If she has already said she is leaving in 5 years I would not buy a house. Do not get married- she already has one foot out the door.
I really feel sorry for the child. How is she and/or you going to explain that suddenly mommy wants her freedom? That is crushing to a child.
Get a lawyer now. You need to know what the laws are in your state. Be prepared. What if she suddenly decides to take the child and deny you visitation? I would go for sole custody.
Do not buy a house with someone to whom you’re not married. And get a paternity test to be safe.
Do not buy a house with her. Period. Buy the house yourself and you pay for all mortgage utilities, and maintenance. She can pay for food, clothing, cell phone bills, cars, etc. if she pays for any part of the house then she has a claim to it, even if her name isn’t on the deed.
If she isn’t sure enough about the relationship to marry you then she isn’t serious enough to buy joint property with.
And if she says “ok then let’s get married” … well that ship has sailed. Because now you know she doesn’t want to get married for love, but for money.
One of you buy the house and rent 49% to the roommate. Now it’s an investment property.
If she has objections to the social connotations of marriage, get married and don’t tell anyone— continue to call yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, think of marriage as a legal shortcut to the life you want.
You LUCKY son of a bitch.
Congratulations, you now can’t get divorced and lose 50% or more of your money.
Big question is about the House. I strongly suggest you own the house.
If she owns the house she can kick you out and courts will still force you to pay child support.
I know all your thinking about is the kid but hear me out. In 20 years that kid will be moved out and you will be an old ass 60year old man who STILL has about 40 years to go until he dies.